Mental health is important to me as a student because I know firsthand how much it affects every part of a person's life. It affects how we learn, how we connect with others, how we see ourselves, and whether we believe we are capable of reaching our goals. As a college student balancing two majors, theater productions, and multiple jobs, I have learned that mental health is not something that can be ignored. It is a foundation that allows students to succeed. My own experiences with mental health have shaped the way I understand the importance of compassion and support. Growing up, I spent many years feeling like I had to hide parts of myself because of the environment I was raised in. I struggled with feeling isolated and misunderstood, and those experiences affected my mental health. Over time, I learned that one of the most important things people need during difficult moments is to feel accepted and reminded that they are not alone. Because of this, I advocate for mental health by helping create supportive communities around me. As a Theater and Dance Technical Design and Mass Communications Media Production double major at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, I have found that creative spaces can have a powerful impact on people's well-being. Theater especially has taught me the importance of teamwork, trust, and making sure every person feels valued. Behind every successful production is a group of people who rely on and support one another, and I try to contribute to that environment by being someone others can turn to. I also advocate for mental health through storytelling. My goal is to work in film because I believe stories have the ability to help people feel seen. Growing up, books, movies, and television gave me places to escape and helped me understand experiences beyond my own. Now, I want to create stories that provide that same sense of connection for others, especially people who may feel overlooked or alone. In my everyday life, I try to advocate for mental health through small actions: listening without judgment, supporting friends and classmates, encouraging others, and creating spaces where people feel comfortable being themselves. I believe advocacy is not only about large campaigns or public speaking—it is also about the way we treat the people around us. As a student, I know how difficult it can be to balance academic responsibilities, work, personal challenges, and expectations for the future. That is why I believe mental health conversations are so important. Students should not have to struggle silently. By sharing our experiences, reducing stigma, and supporting one another, we can create communities where people feel empowered to ask for help and continue pursuing their goals. My experiences have shown me that mental health advocacy begins with empathy. Through my education, my creative work, and my relationships with others, I hope to continue building communities where people know they matter.

My experiences with mental health have shaped the way I see myself, the way I connect with others, and the kind of future I want to build. They have taught me that everyone is carrying something, even when it is not visible, and that compassion can make a greater impact than we often realize. I am currently a double major at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville studying Theater and Dance Technical Design and Mass Communications Media Production. My goal is to work in film and use storytelling to create experiences that help people feel seen, understood, and less alone. This goal comes from my own experiences with feeling isolated and searching for stories that reflected parts of myself I struggled to understand. Growing up, I often felt like I did not fully belong. I was raised in an environment where I learned that being queer was something that would not be accepted, and because of that, I spent years hiding parts of myself. I did not fully understand my own identity until I was twenty years old. By that point, I had spent a significant amount of time feeling confused, afraid, and alone. Those experiences had a major impact on my mental health. There were times when I struggled deeply and reached points where moving forward felt incredibly difficult. For many years, I coped with emotional pain in unhealthy ways, including self-harm. While those moments are part of my story, they are not the definition of who I am. Instead, they have shaped my understanding of resilience, healing, and the importance of reaching out for support. One of the most important things I learned is that people need places where they can be honest about what they are experiencing. I found those spaces through creativity. When I came to SIUE, I started as an undecided major, unsure of where I belonged. After taking one acting class, I discovered theater and found a community where I could express myself. Through theater and media, I learned that storytelling has the power to connect people and remind them that they are not alone. My experiences with mental health have also changed the way I approach relationships. I try to be more understanding because I know that struggles are not always obvious. Someone who seems happy may still be fighting battles privately, and a small act of kindness or acceptance can mean more than we realize. My own experiences have made me want to create spaces where people feel safe being themselves. As I pursue a career in film, I hope to use my education to tell stories that create empathy and representation. I want to make work that reaches people who feel overlooked or misunderstood and reminds them that their experiences matter. The stories we tell influence how people see themselves and each other, and I want to be part of creating stories that bring people together. Mental health has been one of the greatest challenges I have faced, but it has also shaped my purpose. It has taught me resilience, compassion, and the importance of making people feel valued. The future I want to create is one where people feel less alone, and I hope to use my education, my creativity, and my voice to help make that future possible.

My name is Sydney (Skyler) Wojtysiak, and I am a double major at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville studying Theater and Dance Technical Design and Mass Communications Media Production. My goal is to work in film and use storytelling to create experiences that help people feel seen, understood, and less alone. A large part of why I have this goal comes from my own experiences with mental health and the importance of finding connection during difficult moments. Mental health has affected my life in many ways. Growing up, I struggled with feeling like I did not fully belong and often felt like I had to hide parts of myself. I was raised in an environment where I learned that being queer was something that would not be accepted, which made discovering my identity incredibly difficult. I did not fully understand this part of myself until I was twenty years old, and by that point, I had spent years carrying feelings of confusion, fear, and isolation. These experiences had a significant impact on my mental health. There were periods of my life where I struggled deeply and reached points where continuing forward felt extremely difficult. For many years, I coped with emotional pain in unhealthy ways, including self-harm. While those experiences are a part of my story, they are not the entirety of who I am. They taught me the importance of seeking support, showing compassion, and recognizing that people often carry struggles that others cannot see. One of the things that helped me continue moving forward was finding places where I could express myself and connect with others. For me, those places were storytelling, theater, and media. When I entered SIUE, I was initially undecided about my future, but one acting class introduced me to a community where I found belonging. Through theater, I learned that creativity can be healing. It can bring people together, create understanding, and provide a space where people feel accepted. My experiences with mental health have also shaped the kind of person I want to become. I want to create art that reaches people who may feel isolated or misunderstood. Whether through film, theater, or other forms of media, I hope to tell stories that remind people they are not alone. Representation and honest storytelling can have a powerful impact, especially for those who are struggling to understand themselves or find their place in the world. Mental health has been one of the greatest challenges I have faced, but it has also shaped my empathy and my goals. It has taught me the importance of kindness, patience, and creating spaces where people feel safe being themselves. As I continue my education and pursue a career in film, I hope to use what I have learned from my own experiences to make a positive impact on others.

A Mad Genius does not always look like someone in a laboratory with wild hair and a thousand inventions scattered around the room. Sometimes, a Mad Genius looks like someone standing backstage five minutes before a show starts, surrounded by unfinished projects, tangled cables, paint-covered tools, and a hundred things that could go wrong. A Mad Genius looks like a creator who sees a problem and thinks, “What if this isn’t a problem? What if it’s an opportunity?” That is the kind of genius I have always been drawn to. When I first entered college, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I came to Southern Illinois University Edwardsville as an undecided major because I loved so many different forms of creativity that choosing one felt impossible. I never expected that one acting class would completely change my future. That single class introduced me to theater, and suddenly I found myself fascinated by everything happening behind the scenes: the sets, the lights, the construction, the problem-solving, and the teamwork required to transform an empty space into another world. I discovered that creativity does not always start with having the perfect idea. Sometimes it starts with looking at something ordinary and asking, “What else could this become?” That is what a Mad Genius does. A Mad Genius takes pieces that do not seem like they belong together and combines them into something unexpected. A pile of lumber becomes a castle. A blank stage becomes a battlefield. A simple camera shot becomes a moment that makes someone laugh, cry, or see the world differently. The best creations often come from mixing things that were never supposed to be mixed. That is why I believe the greatest Mad Geniuses are not just inventors. They are storytellers. Throughout my education, I have learned that creativity requires both imagination and discipline. Theater has taught me how to build, adapt, and solve problems under pressure. Media production has taught me how to communicate ideas through visuals and storytelling. Math, which many people do not associate with creativity, has helped me turn impossible ideas into realistic plans through measurements, budgeting, and technical design. A Mad Genius understands that creativity is not limited to one skill. It is a combination of curiosity, persistence, and the willingness to try something that might fail. I think the most important quality of a Mad Genius is the courage to be different. For much of my life, I felt like I had to fit into expectations that were not created for me. As I discovered more about myself, I realized that being different was not something I needed to hide. It was something that made me creative. The same qualities that once made me feel like I stood out are the qualities that now help me tell stories, solve problems, and imagine possibilities others may not see. A Mad Genius is someone who looks at the world and refuses to accept that things have to stay the way they are. They ask questions. They experiment. They make mistakes. They try again. They create. My version of a Mad Genius is a person covered in paint, carrying a notebook full of ideas, surrounded by half-finished projects and completely convinced that every strange idea is worth exploring. They are equal parts artist, engineer, storyteller, and problem-solver. They do not see chaos as something to avoid—they see it as the beginning of something incredible. That is the kind of creator I hope to become. Whether I am designing a stage, creating a film, or developing a story that helps someone feel understood, I want to continue combining unexpected ideas into something meaningful. I want to create things that make people stop and think, “I never would have imagined that.” Because maybe that is what a Mad Genius really is. Not someone who knows all the answers. Someone brave enough to ask questions no one else thought to ask.

I have always loved math because it is reliable. No matter what is happening in the world, the answer to 2+2 will always be 4. There is something comforting about knowing that math follows rules and patterns that can be understood. While many people see math as intimidating or frustrating, I have always enjoyed the challenge of solving problems and finding the answer. Throughout school, I was often the "math person." The person classmates would come to when they needed help understanding a problem, and that has continued into college. What I love most about math is that it is not just something confined to a textbook—it is a tool that helps me solve real problems every day. As a Theater Technical Design major, I use math constantly in scenic construction. Whether I am creating cut lists, calculating materials needed for a platform or flat, or figuring out measurements to make sure a design comes together correctly, math is what turns an idea into something physical. I enjoy being able to take a creative concept and use logic and calculations to make it possible. My appreciation for math has also followed me into my second major, Mass Communications Media Production. While many students in that department joke about disliking math, I am one of the few who genuinely enjoys it. Numbers, statistics, and calculations do not intimidate me—they are another way to understand information and solve problems. One of my favorite examples of using math outside the classroom happened while I was working. During a power outage, our cash register stopped working, meaning I had to manually calculate every transaction, including sales tax, for about an hour and a half. When the system came back online and the sales were entered, my calculations were only off by one penny. That moment reminded me how much I trust my ability to work with numbers, even under pressure. Math represents more than getting the correct answer. It represents creativity, problem-solving, and the ability to find solutions when something seems complicated. Whether I am building a set, analyzing media, or handling an unexpected challenge at work, math gives me the tools to approach problems with confidence. I love math because it is both logical and limitless. It is a foundation that supports creativity rather than restricting it, and it has become one of the many skills that help me bring ideas to life.

The impact I want to make is simple: I want to create stories that help people feel seen. Growing up, stories were some of the first places where I found comfort and connection. Books, movies, and television gave me worlds to escape into when life felt difficult and introduced me to people and experiences beyond my own. As I got older and began understanding more about myself, I realized how powerful it is to see someone like you represented in a story. Representation is not just entertainment—it can be a reminder that you are not alone. This realization is what led me toward a career in film. I began my college journey at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville as an undecided major because I had so many interests that I struggled to choose one path. Then I took one acting class, and everything changed. That class introduced me to theater, where I discovered my passion for technical design, collaboration, and storytelling. Eventually, I pursued a double major in Theater and Dance Technical Design and Mass Communications Media Production because I realized I didn't want to choose between the stage and the screen. Both taught me different ways to tell meaningful stories. My goal is to use my education and future career in film to create work that gives people the same feeling those stories gave me: the feeling of being understood. I especially want to help amplify voices and experiences that are often overlooked. As a queer and genderqueer person who grew up feeling like I had to hide parts of myself, I understand how isolating it can feel when you don't see yourself represented. I want to create films and media that remind people that their experiences matter and that they deserve to be included in the stories being told. The people who inspire me are the artists and creators who understand that storytelling can change lives. Whether through a movie, a television show, a book adaptation, or a stage production, the best stories do more than entertain. They challenge perspectives, build empathy, and bring people together. Those are the kinds of stories I hope to create. My education is preparing me not only with technical skills but also with the ability to collaborate, problem-solve, and understand the importance of every person's contribution to a project. Through theater productions, media projects, and my coursework, I am learning how much work goes into creating something that can impact an audience. In addition to completing my bachelor's degrees, I plan to continue my education by earning a master's degree in Mass Communications at SIUE. My goal is to continue developing my skills, building connections, and gaining experience so I can enter the film industry prepared to make a difference. The future I want to help create is one where people do not have to search endlessly to find stories that reflect them. I want someone watching a film I helped create to feel the same comfort I found in the stories that helped me through difficult moments. I want them to feel represented, valued, and understood. My education is not just preparing me for a career—it is preparing me to contribute something meaningful to the world. Through storytelling, I hope to create a more compassionate and inclusive future where everyone knows their story matters.

One of the reasons Olivia Rodrigo's music resonates with so many people is because she writes about emotions that are often difficult to explain. Whether she's writing about heartbreak, insecurity, or simply trying to figure out where you belong, her lyrics remind listeners that they're not alone. As someone who hopes to work in film one day, I admire her ability to tell deeply personal stories that somehow become universal. The lyric that has stayed with me the longest comes from "All I Want": *"All I have is myself at the end of the day, but shouldn't that be enough for me?"* I've come back to that line more times than I can count. Growing up, I often questioned whether I was asking for too much by simply wanting to be accepted. After discovering that I am queer, I spent a long time wondering if there was something wrong with me because of the environment I was raised in. Looking back, I realize I wasn't asking for too much—I was just surrounded by people who couldn't fully see me. That lyric reminds me that my value isn't determined by whether other people recognize it. Another song that has deeply impacted me is "hope ur ok." Olivia sings about people whose lives took difficult paths, including the lyric, *"His parents cared more about the Bible than being good to their own child."* That line immediately connected with me. I grew up in a conservative Christian household where I believed for years that who I was would never be accepted. It wasn't until I was twenty years old that I finally allowed myself to understand that I am queer. Even now, I remain closeted at home because of my family's beliefs. Hearing someone acknowledge experiences like that made me feel less alone. "hope ur ok" also reminds me of friendships I've lost over the years. There are people who were once incredibly important to me, and even though we're no longer part of each other's lives, I still hope they're happy. I hope they've found peace. Sometimes I imagine they hope the same things for me. That song taught me that caring about someone doesn't always end just because your paths separate. I also see myself in "ballad of a homeschooled girl." The awkwardness, constant overthinking, and feeling like everyone else understands how to fit in while you're still trying to figure it out is something I've experienced throughout my life. Olivia captures those feelings with humor while reminding listeners that they're far more common than we think. My journey has included discovering my identity later than many people, navigating relationships that changed, and learning to believe that I deserve to take up space exactly as I am. Olivia Rodrigo's lyrics didn't solve those challenges, but they gave me language for emotions I struggled to explain. As someone pursuing a career in theater and film, that's the kind of storytelling I hope to create someday. The best stories don't just entertain us—they remind us that someone else has felt what we're feeling. Olivia's music has done that for me, and I hope one day my own work can do the same for someone else.

My long-term goal is to build a career in the film industry, creating stories that make people feel seen and represented. I want to combine the technical skills I've developed through theater with my education in media production to work in film production and eventually take on leadership roles where I can help bring meaningful stories to life. I did not begin college with that goal. I entered Southern Illinois University Edwardsville as an undecided major because I loved so many creative outlets that choosing one felt impossible. Everything changed after taking one acting class. That class introduced me to technical theater, where I discovered a passion for production and storytelling. As I gained experience backstage, I realized my love for storytelling extended beyond the stage, leading me to pursue a double major in Theater and Dance Technical Design and Mass Communications Media Production. Together, these degrees are preparing me for the career I want in film. My first goal is to complete both bachelor's degrees while continuing to gain hands-on experience. I am currently balancing 17 credit hours, five jobs, leadership responsibilities as the president of a student organization, and theater productions. Every experience builds skills I will use throughout my career, including collaboration, lighting, scenic construction, problem-solving, time management, and visual storytelling. After completing my bachelor's degrees, I plan to remain at SIUE to earn a master's degree in Mass Communications. Graduate school will help me strengthen my technical skills, expand my portfolio, and build professional connections before entering the film industry full-time. Financial planning is one of the biggest factors in making this goal possible. I am fortunate that my father works for a university, which significantly reduces my tuition costs. However, tuition is only one part of the overall cost of earning a degree. University fees, textbooks, parking permits, transportation, food, personal expenses, and the countless smaller costs that come with being a full-time college student are all my responsibility. To cover those expenses, I currently work five jobs while taking 17 credit hours and participating in theater productions. Every paycheck is carefully budgeted toward semester fees, parking, groceries, gas, course materials, and other necessary expenses. I have learned to prioritize needs over wants and plan ahead so I can continue my education without taking on unnecessary debt. Scholarships are one of the most valuable resources in my financial plan because every award helps cover expenses that tuition assistance does not, allowing me to spend more time developing my skills and less time worrying about whether I can afford the next semester. Another important resource is networking. I plan to continue building relationships with professors, directors, classmates, and industry professionals through productions, internships, and collaborative projects. I also plan to continue growing my portfolio with both theater productions and media projects, giving future employers a strong representation of my abilities. I understand there is no single path into the film industry. While my long-term goal is film, I am open to beginning in theater, television, commercial production, or other media-related fields. Every opportunity will allow me to gain experience, strengthen my network, and continue moving toward my ultimate career goal. Joe Gilroy's motto, "Plan Your Work, Work Your Plan," reflects exactly how I approach my future. My success will not come from one opportunity alone but from years of education, hard work, financial responsibility, and persistence. I have a clear plan, and every class, production, work shift, and scholarship brings me one step closer to building a career where I can create stories that make others feel seen.

For a long time, I struggled to call myself a Christian. Growing up, I was surrounded by people who often used Christianity to judge others rather than love them. As I got older and began discovering my own identity as a queer and genderqueer person, that struggle became even more difficult. I was taught that who I was was wrong, and because of that, I questioned whether I still wanted to identify with a faith that I felt had been used against me. Over time, I realized that my relationship with God and my experiences with other Christians were not the same thing. Today, I still consider myself a Christian, but my faith looks very different from the version I grew up around. My relationship with God is personal. It isn't based on fear or trying to earn His love. Instead, it's built on trust, grace, and the belief that He continues to guide me, even when I can't see where my path is leading. Looking back on my life, I can see moments where I believe God was working long before I recognized it. There have been times when I felt completely lost, overwhelmed, or convinced that I wasn't going to make it through what I was facing. During some of the darkest periods of my mental health, I came closer than I ever want to come again to giving up. Looking back now, I truly believe God carried me through those moments when I couldn't carry myself. I don't think my healing happened overnight, in fact I believe it is still happening, but I know I would not be the person I am today without His guidance. I also believe God has opened doors for me exactly when I needed them, even if I didn't understand why at the time. I entered Southern Illinois University Edwardsville as an undecided major with no clear direction for my future. Then I took one acting class, and everything changed. That single class led me to discover my passion for theater, eventually pursue a double major in Theater and Dance Technical Design and Mass Communications Media Production, and set my sights on a career in film. At the time, it felt like a coincidence. Now, I see it as one of many moments where God gently guided me toward the life I was meant to build. As I pursue a career in film, I hope my faith continues to shape not only the choices I make but the person I become. The entertainment industry can be competitive and challenging, and it can be easy to lose sight of your values in pursuit of success. My faith reminds me that integrity matters just as much as achievement. I want to treat people with kindness, lead with humility, and create stories that encourage empathy and help others feel seen. I don't know exactly where my career will take me, but I trust that God does. If my life has taught me anything, it's that He often opens doors I never expected and provides opportunities I could never have planned for myself. My faith doesn't mean my path will always be easy, but it gives me confidence that I will never have to walk it alone. That assurance has carried me through every challenge I've faced so far, and I believe it will continue to guide me throughout my future career and beyond.

If you had asked me when I graduated high school what I wanted to do with my life, I honestly wouldn't have had an answer. I came to Southern Illinois University Edwardsville as an undecided major because I had so many interests that choosing one felt impossible. Looking back now, I realize I wasn't lost—I was simply waiting to discover where I belonged. One acting class later, where I belonged found me! I enrolled in the class on a whim, thinking it would be an interesting elective. Instead, it completely changed the direction of my life. Before long, I declared a major in Theater and Dance with a focus in Technical Design. Through long rehearsals, late nights backstage, and countless hours learning everything from lighting to scenic design, I found more than a major. I found a home. At the same time, I realized my passion extended beyond the stage. I've always loved movies, books, and storytelling, so adding a second major in Mass Communications with a focus in Media Production felt like a natural next step. Together, these fields have prepared me for my ultimate goal of working in the film industry, where I hope to create stories that help people feel seen, understood, and represented. After completing my bachelor's degree, I plan to continue my education by earning my master's degree in Mass Communications at SIUE. While I love what I study, pursuing this education has required an enormous amount of sacrifice. This fall I am enrolled in 17 credit hours while working five jobs, participating in theater productions, taking on the responsibilities that come with being president of an organization, and maintaining a GPA above 3.0. My weeks are carefully planned around classes, rehearsals, production meetings, work shifts, and homework. There are days when I leave home early in the morning and don't return until late at night, only to start the process over again the next day. I don't work five jobs just because I enjoy being busy. I work because I have to. Like many college students, I have discovered that financial aid alone is not enough to cover the cost of higher education. Tuition, transportation, and everyday living expenses add up quickly, and every paycheck helps me continue pursuing the education I have worked so hard for. Although balancing work and school can be exhausting, it has taught me responsibility, discipline, and resilience. It has also shown me just how much this education means to me. If I were not passionate about my future, I simply could not maintain this pace. Outside the classroom, theater has become one of the most meaningful parts of my college experience. Working on productions has taught me that successful storytelling depends on collaboration. Every person backstage contributes something essential, even if the audience never sees them. Whether I am helping build a set, working with lighting, or solving last-minute technical problems, I have learned to think creatively, adapt under pressure, and support those around me. These experiences have strengthened both my technical abilities and my confidence as a leader and collaborator. Some of the most significant challenges I have faced have not been academic. As a queer and genderqueer student, I continue to live with family members who do not accept my identity because moving out is not an option financially at this point in my life. Living in an environment where I cannot be myself has been emotionally difficult, but it has also strengthened my determination to build a future where I can live loud and create work that reflects the diversity of the world around us. For much of my life, I searched for stories that helped me feel understood. That search has shaped the kind of filmmaker I hope to become. I want to create films that allow people to see themselves reflected on screen, especially those whose experiences have often been overlooked. I believe storytelling has the power to create empathy, challenge assumptions, and remind people that they are not alone. What I hope this essay demonstrates is not that my journey has been harder than anyone else's, but that I have consistently chosen to keep moving forward. I began college uncertain about my future, discovered a passion I never expected to find, committed myself to two demanding fields of study, balanced an intense academic schedule while working five jobs, and continued pursuing my goals despite financial and personal obstacles. Receiving this scholarship would do more than ease the financial burden of college. It would allow me to dedicate more time to my education, my creative work, and the opportunities that will prepare me for graduate school and a career in film. Instead of constantly calculating how many hours I need to work to pay my next bill, I could invest more of that time into developing the skills that will allow me to make a meaningful impact through storytelling. I know there are many deserving applicants for this scholarship. What I hope sets me apart is not perfection, but perseverance. Every challenge I have encountered has reinforced my commitment to my education and my future. I have never stopped working toward the life I want to build, and I do not intend to stop now. This scholarship would be an investment in someone who has already demonstrated a willingness to work tirelessly for their goals. With your support, I will continue pursuing my degree at SIUE before entering the film industry, where I hope to create stories that inspire others, foster understanding, and help people feel seen. That is the future I have been working toward every day, and it is one I am determined to achieve.

I've always been a reader. Some of my earliest memories are sitting with a Harry Potter or Percy Jackson book in my hands, completely disappearing into another world. Those stories weren't just something to pass the time—they became places I could escape to when reality felt overwhelming. No matter what was happening around me, I knew I could open a book and, for a little while, be somewhere else. As I got older, my taste in books changed, but my love for reading never did. Recently, I've fallen in love with series like *A Good Girl's Guide to Murder* and the *Empyrean* series. Even though they're completely different from one another, they remind me why I love books so much. One pulls me into solving mysteries and piecing together clues, while the other immerses me in an incredible fantasy world. They also gave me something I didn't expect: people to share those stories with. Some of my favorite conversations are dissecting plot twists, making predictions, or debating what an adaptation should get right. Books have also taught me lessons that have stayed with me long after I finished reading them. One moment I'll never forget is when Luna Lovegood tells Harry, "You're just as sane as I am." Growing up, that line made me smile because Luna embraced being different instead of apologizing for it. Looking back now, after discovering my own queer identity, those words mean even more. They remind me that fitting in isn't the goal. Being yourself is. After realizing I was queer, I started searching for books that reflected experiences like mine. While I was excited to find stories with LGBTQ+ characters, I was also surprised by how difficult it was to find thoughtful, well-written sapphic representation. That realization didn't discourage me—it strengthened my belief that stories matter. Everyone deserves to see themselves in the books they read and the worlds they escape into. Reading has shaped more than my perspective; it has shaped my future. I didn't begin college knowing what career I wanted, but I eventually found my passion in theater and media production. My goal is to work in film, and one of the biggest reasons is because I want to bring stories to life in a way that honors what made readers fall in love with them in the first place. Like countless other readers, I've experienced the excitement—and sometimes disappointment—of watching a favorite book adapted for the screen. I want to be part of creating adaptations that capture the heart of a story while helping new audiences connect with it. Books gave me adventure when I wanted excitement, comfort when I needed an escape, and confidence when I was still figuring out who I was. They taught me empathy, creativity, and the power of representation. Most importantly, they inspired the career I'm working toward. My hope is that one day, whether through adapting beloved novels or creating original films, I can tell stories that make someone else feel the same way books have always made me feel: seen, understood, and a little less alone.

If I had to describe my "awkward" thing, I'd say it's that I am physically incapable of choosing just one creative outlet. When I started college at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, I came in as an undecided major because I genuinely had no idea what I wanted to do. I liked storytelling, movies, writing, music, photography, theater—you name it. Everyone around me seemed to have their future planned out, and I couldn't even pick a major. At the time, that felt like a weakness. Then I took one acting class. That one class somehow snowballed into becoming a Theater and Dance major with a focus in Technical Design. Somewhere between building sets, learning lighting, spending late nights backstage, and finding a community that genuinely felt like home, I realized I had finally found where I belonged. The funny part is that I still couldn't pick just one thing. I loved theater, but I also couldn't stop thinking about film. I've always been the kind of person who watches movies and notices everything happening behind the scenes. While everyone else is focused on the actors, I'm wondering how they lit a scene, why the camera moved a certain way, or how a set was designed to make the audience feel something. So, naturally, instead of choosing one path, I added a second major in Mass Communications with a focus in Media Production. My friends joke that I collect jobs and majors instead of hobbies, and honestly, they're not wrong. Between taking 17 credit hours, working five jobs, participating in theater productions, and planning to continue on for my master's degree, my schedule probably looks a little ridiculous from the outside. But I've learned that what once felt awkward about me is actually one of my greatest strengths. I don't just love one part of storytelling—I love all of it. I love designing the world an audience sees, figuring out how lighting changes the mood of a scene, capturing moments through a camera lens, and thinking about how every creative decision affects the story. Each experience teaches me something different, and together they're preparing me for the career I want in film. Being unable to fit neatly into one box used to make me feel like I was behind everyone else. Now I realize it's exactly what makes me different. My curiosity has pushed me to explore opportunities I never would have considered if I had forced myself to choose one path too early. The same curiosity that led me to "accidentally" become a theater major is the reason I'm confident about my future today. It has taught me to embrace unexpected opportunities, work hard, and keep learning. I may have started college without a plan, but I found a passion that combines everything I love: telling stories that make people feel seen. So yes, my awkward thing is that I can't seem to pick just one creative passion. Thankfully, I don't have to. It's that curiosity—and the willingness to follow wherever it leads—that has shaped who I am and the future I'm working toward.

Growing up, I didn't know that being queer or transgender was even a possibility for me. I was raised in an environment where LGBTQIA+ identities were talked about as something wrong—as something sinful. Because of that, I spent years believing that if I ever felt differently than everyone around me, I had to push those feelings away. I knew long before I understood my own identity that my family would never accept me if I were LGBTQIA+, so I never gave myself the chance to ask those questions. It wasn't until I was 20 years old, with feeling for someone that were so unbelieveably strong they was impossible to ignore, that I finally allowed myself to explore who I really was. Looking back, I realize the signs had always been there, but fear kept me from seeing them. Discovering that I am queer (lesbian?  still making discoveries in that area) and transgender (nonbinary?  also still discovering) wasn't a sudden change—it was finally giving myself permission to understand who I had always been. That realization brought relief, but it also brought new challenges. Because I am still financially dependent on my family, I continue to live at home, where I am closeted and unable to openly be myself. Every day, I have to balance the excitement of finally understanding my identity with the reality that the place I live is not a place where I feel safe expressing it. Living two different lives is emotionally exhausting. The years I spent hiding parts of myself had a significant impact on my mental health. There were times when I came dangerously close to giving up. For many years, I coped with those feelings through self-harm because I didn't know another way to deal with the pain I was carrying. While those moments are part of my story, they are not the end of it. Today, I choose to keep moving forward, even when it is difficult. One of the places that helped me do that was SIUE. I came to college as an undecided major, unsure of where I belonged. Then I took one acting class, and everything changed. Theater became more than a major—it became a community where I felt accepted, valued, and encouraged to grow. Backstage became a place where I could breathe, create, and begin discovering the person I wanted to be. That experience eventually led me to pursue a double major in Theater and Dance with a focus in Technical Design and Mass Communications with a focus in Media Production because I want to tell stories that help other people feel seen, even when their given circumstances are against them. My experiences have taught me that representation matters. Feeling invisible can convince someone that they are alone, but seeing yourself reflected in a story can remind you that your life has value. As I work toward a career in film, I hope to create stories that offer that same sense of belonging to someone who needs it. Although I still face challenges every day, I am proud of how far I have come. My story is one of perseverance, self-discovery, and hope. I can't change the environment I grew up in, but I can choose the future I am building. Through my education, my art, and the stories I hope to tell, I want to help create a world where no one feels like they have to hide who they are in order to be loved.

If you had asked me when I started college what I wanted to do with my life, I honestly wouldn't have had an answer. I came to Southern Illinois University Edwardsville as an undecided major because I had so many interests that I couldn't picture myself choosing just one path. Looking back now, I'm glad I didn't have everything figured out because the path I ended up on found me instead. I signed up for one acting class simply because it sounded interesting. I never expected that one class would completely change the direction of my life. Before I knew it, I had declared Theater and Dance as one of my majors. The more time I spent in rehearsals, backstage, and around other artists, the more I realized this was where I belonged. Theater gave me confidence, challenged me creatively, and showed me how powerful storytelling can be. At the same time, I realized my love for storytelling didn't stop on the stage. I've always loved movies, television, and digital media, so adding Mass Communications with a focus in Media Production felt like the missing piece. Now I'm pursuing a double major in Theater and Dance with a focus in Technical Design and Mass Communications with a focus in Media Production because together they prepare me for what I truly want to do: work in film. For me, film isn't just entertainment. It's one of the most powerful ways people can feel seen. Some of the stories that have stayed with me the longest are the ones that made me feel understood when I needed it most. I want to create that feeling for someone else. Whether it's through production design, cinematography, directing, writing the story myself, or another role behind the camera, I want to tell stories that make people feel like they belong. That goal is what keeps me going every day, even when my schedule feels impossible. Right now, I'm taking 17 credit hours while working five different jobs, participating in theater productions, and planning to continue my education by earning my master's degree in Mass Communications at SIUE after completing my bachelor's degree. Most days are a constant cycle of classes, work, rehearsals, homework, and trying to find enough hours in the day to sleep and have a little bit of free time. It's exhausting, but I've learned how to manage my time because I know exactly what I'm working toward. The biggest challenge isn't the workload—it's the financial reality behind it. I work five jobs because I have to. Every paycheck goes toward making sure I can continue my education and work toward the career I've dreamed of. Receiving this scholarship wouldn't just make college more affordable; it would give me the chance to spend more time learning, creating, and preparing for the future instead of constantly worrying about how to afford it. Another challenge I face is one that isn't visible on a transcript. As a queer transgender individual, I currently live with family members who don't accept my identity because moving out simply isn't financially possible right now. The house I live in isn't always a place where I can fully be myself, and that can be emotionally exhausting. Even so, I've never let those circumstances become an excuse to stop chasing my goals. If anything, they've strengthened my determination to build a future where I can live authentically while creating art that helps other people feel accepted and represented. I don't think what gives me an advantage over other applicants is that I've had difficulties in my life. Many students have overcome incredible obstacles. What sets me apart is how I've responded to mine. I didn't know what I wanted when I started college, but once I found my passion, I committed to it completely, finding that the backstage of Dunham Hall theatre and Metcalf theatre were more of a home to me than my own house. I chose to double major, I choose to continue on to graduate school, and every day I choose to keep pushing forward despite the financial and personal challenges in front of me. This scholarship would be more than financial support—it would be an investment in someone who has already proven how much they're willing to work for their future. I have balanced demanding coursework, five jobs, theater productions, and difficult personal circumstances while maintaining a GPA above 3.0 because I believe in the future I'm building. Theater found me when I didn't know where I belonged. Film has given me a purpose beyond myself. Now I want to spend my career creating stories that help other people feel seen, just like stories once did for me. I know the road ahead won't be easy, but if there's one thing my college experience has taught me, it's that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get there.

This upcoming school year, I will be working 5 part-time on-campus jobs, while also taking 17 credit hours, and being president of my school's Tech Theatre Org. This is similar to my schedule last year, when I worked the same jobs and took 20 credit hours while serving as an underclassman representative for the same club I am now president of! This is challenging in many ways, one of which is that I have to manage my time VERY wisely. With balancing the schedules from all 5 jobs, my class schedule, the organization's schedule, a rehearsal schedule (seeing as I am a theatre student and often have rehearsals to attend as well), and still maintaining a life outside of it all, my calendar has to remain up to date at all times. One slip-up could mean that I am both double-booked and letting down multiple people. This is very important to me that I do not do, which results in just about every minute of my life being planned out, and booking events months in advance (yes, I have had to look at my friend in August and say, "Well, I can pencil you in for the third weekend in September, does that work?"), This can be not only exhausting but frustrating when not everyone knows what they will be doing two months from now. While I love my numerous jobs and what I have chosen to study, the lack of free time can really affect a person's mental health. To overcome this, I have worked hard at making sure that I schedule in some personal time, time with friends, and, in general, just time away from all of my responsibilities. This is hard for me, as I like to be booked and busy, but I have found my mental health has improved drastically when I am not working myself to the bone every day, just hoping for 15 minutes of free time to appear in my schedule between jobs 1 and 3, even though I, for a fact that I did not schedule that free time to be there. While it can be good to work hard and have that drive, it is also a very good thing to learn how to take breaks and live your life outside of the insane schedule that can be the life of a college student. It also helps that I love what I do, and even when it is a lot, that makes waking up and going to work and class feel like less of a chore on a day-to-day basis. Having people in my life who are working toward a common goal and make classes fun are huge wins for me, and the fact that those people also see me and know that sometimes I may need a push to take a break is amazing. Having that community has really helped me in the long run to not only have people around me who are there for me, but also for myself to WANT to take breaks so that I have the opportunity to spend time with my people more than I did when I was working constantly! (P.S. Some of the jobs in the photo below are not currently on my schedule, but they still show up in the system)