Any chess expert will tell you that, indisputably, the most important part of the game is to think ahead. You need to plan for every possible outcome and have a killer move already in place and ready to go. Strategy and preparation are half the game. Accompanied only then by execution of attack. I was never professionally taught how to play chess. In my dad's office he had one of those large boxy computers and I found a chess application on it when I was about 6 or 7. I would play the computer in chess, learning through trial and error how the pieces moved and how they captured all other pieces. Any strategy I may have now, I originally picked up on from a computer. As I grew, I began to play with friends, family, and even strangers. However, up until last year, I had never even beat my dad in a game. I've lost hundreds if not thousands of chess matches to learn that finding that balance between offense and defense can make or break game. A lot of people go to college out of fear that they won't find a good job otherwise, thus their experience is driven by a defensive strategy. A preventative measure, if you will. Some go to college with the hopes of dominating their selected field and getting into graduate school. Maybe then they hope to be one of the top leaders in their future career, making national news and so forth. These are offensively minded people. I see parts of myself in both outlooks, and I can see the value in each plan. But I also have learned from several hours of staring at assorted game pieces on a black and white checkerboard is that there will be detrimental attacks to some of your most important plans that you'll never see coming. There are going to be times when your hands are tied and your next move is forced. But there will also be times where the board is open up wide for you, when resources will be yours for the taking. I am assured that there will be opportunity for great victorY despite all the tragedy that precedes it. If I've learned anything about good strategic chess play, it's that you don't need a queen to win. Meaning that in life you don't have to have a blatant advantage in order to make something of yourself. I went to college for the first time last year all bright eyed and bushy-tailed, to a school that just about every single one of my relatives went to. To put it in the kindest way possible, I was practically forced to go there. It was comfortable, it was easy, and perfectly convenient to do as I was told. Since my strategy was all but offensive, things started to fall apart in front of me. I realized that the college I had more or less chosen was not where I was meant to be. I had made no stride toward the future I dreamed of and I found myself at a standstill that I did not want to partake in. This lead me on an unanticipated escapade to begin the process of transferring colleges. Now I have realized that offense and defense aren't interchangeable. They must be balanced and used effectively in order to take on an education, and whatever journey comes next.

Last year I graduated high school during a pandemic. I missed the class trip, I missed state history day, I missed my soccer and softball seasons, I missed numerous opportunities and projects that I thought I was entitled to. But when I received my diploma 2 months late, and I got to see the pride on my mother's face, it was all worth it. All the zoom meetings, every moment spent visiting with friends from 6 feet away, all the loss was worth it.

Words are my everything. As a songwriter and a poet, there are a variety of phrases and rhymes I've conjured up over the years to inspire myself and others around me. I've collected quotes and sayings, taped them up on my walls, painted them on canvases, scribbled them down over and over again in notebooks next to my doodles during class. I'd write them on the palms of my hands, make bracelets and necklaces stamped with significant phrases, and whisper them as I would fall asleep. I'd pray them to God, shout them to the heavens, scream them in the front seat of my car as I barreled down the highway at 65 miles per hour. Words from old philosophers, historians, numerous artists, authors, and poets kept me going when it seemed as though nothing else could. It's near impossible to pin down one mantra that sticks out to me. For years I claimed, "It is what it is," to be my motivator. It was a chant of contentment, one that sufficed me for a while. I moved on to other ones like the phrase "I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone." This one came from the song Famous Last Words by the hit band My Chemical Romance, one of my favorite songs by my favorite band. But now, I have found comfort in words of my own, ones I penned while writing a song my Junior year of high school. The expression I speak of goes as follows: "On this day, I vow to do my best." I wrote this saying across a single piece of printer paper with my treasured fountain pen and hung it up on the back of my bedroom door. Every day that I woke and got ready for school, I would leave the house with that phrase still hanging in my mind. I would make notes to remind myself of it throughout each day, whether it be a reminder on my phone or scribbled on my hand. Regardless, many days came and went where I was severely limited in terms of overall performance. Life has its ups and downs. But I did my best, as defined by that by day. I vowed my best before I knew what my best was. But that's okay. Because when I set a fixed point as to where my best should be, I am not leaving any opportunity for decline or growth. Which are two very real, unavoidable factors. By taking each day step by step, my best varies to guarantee maximum effort that I can put forth in that moment. Due to this vow, this promise I've made to myself and others, I will wake up each day with the expectation of doing my best. And no less, at that. It's my way of holding myself accountable and learning to never settle for anything less than what I can offer.

Any child who grew up in a household where their moms and dads were often at work all day will tell you that your siblings become your makeshift parents. In my case, my oldest sister, Kaira, practically raised me. For as long as I can remember she was always inventing, creating new and improved ways to work with the cards she was dealt, so to speak. She was the type of kid to climb trees, saw off a branch, and make a homemade bow and arrow out of it in the backyard. And that she did, showing me each step of the process as she assembled her improvised weapon. That was until years later where her hard work made it possible for her to buy a real bow and real arrows. She put me in my place too, when we would wrestle or chase each other around the house. Being eight years my senior, she beat me in just about everything I did. But it was essential for me to acquire the value of dedication and hard work. Not to mention unfounded optimism. Kaira never failed to stand her ground in both physical and mental altercations. She fought for straight A's every year in school, even throughout her college education. She pushed herself to the extreme, and all I could think growing up is that I wanted to be exactly like her. I admire her. And she knows that full well. She's my role model, my friend, my sister, and my partner in crime. She always will be, and I will be forever grateful for all she has done for me. Due to her support, I was able to accomplish things like taking on volunteer work, getting my first job, learning Spanish, actively participating in soccer, softball, dance, and cheer teams in high school. She is a big part of the reason I'm going to college, just two years ago, she herself finally made it into med school. For so many years it seemed like an impossible feat with an unrelenting pattern of obstacles and setbacks. And she conquered them with grace and perseverance. I wish to do the same. Although college is a rat race at times, Kaira inspires me to take on financial, educational, and mental challenges with everything I have left in me. Her work ethic and pure desire to learn rubbed off on me from a young age. Almost to a point in which I can confidently say I'm not going to school to earn a degree. I'm going to school to learn. Just about everybody going to college has the desire to change the world in one form or another. I am no exception due to the wisdom of my sister who has walked before me. And although I may be taller than her now, I will continue to look up to her for the rest of my life. If I keep up with my dedication to my passions, maybe, just maybe someday she'll learn a thing or two from me.

I wrote this song as I was falling into depression. At the beginning of this school year and I had just started my first year of college. Within the first month, I realized I had made the wrong college decision, and I had this unrelenting feeling of monotony come over me. If you've ever walked into a place and immediately thought "I don't belong here," that's exactly the feeling. Life became a blur and anhedonia set in. I didn't really get out of that slump until I decided to transfer to the University of Iowa next year. Transferring comes with its own challenges, but I am convinced that it is less of a battle than prolonging my stay at a place I knew I hated.

For as long as I could remember, I was watching Dateline episodes on late night television with my mom before I went to bed. Some might say that watching murder investigations regularly might traumatize a young child. Oddly enough, for me, it sparked a passion that has never burnt out since. Now I always knew that I was set on studying psychology since the moment I learned what it was. However, it wasn't until my senior year of high school that I realized that pursuing a job in criminology was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I desperately want to continue my eduction in both these fields with the hope that some day I can find a profession anywhere those two topics intersect. Whether I become a detective, crime scene investigator, probation officer, forensic psychologist, I'm not sure. I will be content with whatever job I end up with, but I will still need quite a bit of schooling to make these career path aspirations a reality. What is life if not the eternal pursuit of justice? I wish to dedicate my life to the craft and work toward the rehabilitation of those who many others have given up on. With my faith I believe that no one is a lost cause, and I will forever have a heart toward retribution and restoration. But along with all the beauty in this world, there is also lot's of awful blood and gore. It's a painful realization we have to face, but it's easier to conquer together. And if anyone needs a reminder of that, it is the American Justice System. In terms of extracurriculars, I am currently I am involved in theatre and speech programs, including onstage and behind the scenes work as well being a part of the Dordt University debate team. Next year I hope to transfer to the University of Iowa and perhaps be involved in mock trial club. Another one of my somewhat unrelated passions is musical composition, and I hope to start producing my own music and putting it out into the world soon as well. This is a goal I've been striving toward ever since 8th grade, and with extended resources at college next year, I cannot wait to make it a reality. I started writing my own music at thirteen years old in order to cope after a close family member's death. Since then I've performed original pieces publicly four times total. Three times at my old high school and once on a church retreat. Music is my purest form of self expression and no matter what career I find myself in some day, I hope to make it a part of my life somehow. I know that it may seem like music may be a far stretch from law enforcement, but if anyone's determined enough to intertwine the two, it would be me. I have so much hope for the future, and I pray it's not unfounded. There is a beautiful world out there and it needs more beautiful souls working tirelessly to make it a more enjoyable place for everyone. But it all starts with the individual. And this particular individual (the individual in question being me) is quite stressed about paying for an education that she can barely afford. So I encourage whatever scholarship reviewer that may be reading this to strongly consider my application. I promise not to let you down and to tirelessly work toward reformation of the police force as well as the future of our country.

My grandmother Arletta Dorhout passed unexpectedly passed away in December of 2020. She's actually the one in my profile picture with me. I made her my profile picture because she is my reminder. My reminder to continue to strive toward learning more, growing as a person, and expanding my horizons. I acknowledge that I have so many more opportunities in this day and age as a woman than she ever did. And toward the end of her life, she found herself vicariously living through the lives of her grandchildren. Growing up in a small town in Iowa during the 1940s, my grandmother didn't have much opportunity for education. In fact, she never got the chance to go to college and pursue higher education. I'll always remember her joy upon learning that I was going to go to school to learn about psychology, to delve further into a field she held great interest in. My grandpa actually struggles with Parkinson's disease. One of the bigger reasons why I went into psychology was to better understand his struggles and help treat others like him in the future. Every Sunday afternoon after church, my parents and sisters would join me in going to Grandpa and Grandma's house for "coffee time." It was a time of fellowship where we would talk about what we were learning in school, the sermon at church, and just anything and everything under the sun. Not to mention we'd get to snack on Grandma's delicious goodies. It was a time of rest, of companionship, and of fond memories. I didn't anticipate losing this precious time of my week just this past year, but I do miss it dearly. Now since my grandmother is in heaven now, I believe that she may be looking down on me. And in all honesty, all I want to do is make her proud. I pray to God that I might live a life worth watching from up above. And I pray that I can do something worth remembering. It is one of my greatest goals to fight for a career where I have ample opportunity to do so. I've been fighting my whole life to keep my head above the water mentally and spiritually. Anyone with two brain cells knows that life is no walk in the park. Rather, it's a dead sprint. And I am willing to continue running in her honor in hopes that she's smiling down on me.