I am grateful that I have not lost my brother to substance abuse. However as kids he was always playing the antagonist, constantly making things more difficult for me. But overtime I learned to adapt. For example, being eligible for this scholarship. If you’ve made it this far into my essay hopefully you’ve taken pity on my poor sense of humor and are willing to make an exception for my application. Furthermore hopefully my unconventional approach generated enough curiosity for my essay to be read, thank you for your consideration. Although I lack the loss of my brother I do not lack personal experience regarding substance abuse. My brother started his usage at the age of 15. During this time his using was experimental, harmless he would say, but being my older brother it was not hard convincing me. Being the impressionable younger sister I did not abstain from his persuasion, I too fell victim to substances. Being the older sibling is about setting examples. Having an age advantage means you get to the next “milestone” first. As he moved through the stages of development within his addiction his “experiments” became more and more death defying but unfortunately he was never the one grateful for the many second chances in life.At this point I was done for good.In my mind I even decided to thank him for saving me but in order to do that he led by example. Overtime I began to grow up but Nick continued to be the same reckless teenager. Only now I felt like I had a different role in this situation. At times he had exhausted my parents. Family occasions ruined, lessons unlearned and legal consequences ignored. I’ve worn many hats having to play stand-in parent or sober driver. But having to act like the big sister wasn’t the job I wanted at times I grew resentful towards him and his actions, scared even. My family and I, we were afraid. Only of him and or who he’d try to bring home in the middle of the night but also for him and the interesting characters he would call friends. Waking up to the yelling, screaming and objects being thrown my parents were fed up. Nick realized he was losing the support of our family but it never really was support. They were enabling him. No one teaches you how to deal with someone with substance abuse issues. I believe it’s a transcendent experience you must learn on foot. There are no one way solutions to ending addiction I believe everyone struggling has to take their own path but i do believe that in order to overcome substance abuse the victims have to choose to fight the battle. My brother Nick is still here, however for now he is no longer with us. At some point during his many second chances decisions were made. He will have to fight his own battles at a distance we all need healing. Healing takes time, someday I will no longer paint pictures of what could have been or reminisce about the memories of when we were just young happy kids never worried about the future, everything broken finally healed. Living with my brother’s addiction was transcendent. I hope he will eventually seek forgiveness from my family. I’m ready to say thank you for teaching me strength. As Im packing my life way… ready for the next step at university I will only be taking with me the happy memories, letting go of the bad and opening up to new memories.