My experience with mental health has influenced my beliefs, relationships, and career aspirations in good ways but sometimes in some negative ways, too. Mental health has always been important to me as I have lost many friends to suicide and other mental health issue-related problems, and most recently, my best friend called me at 2 a.m. and was on the verge of ending his life. Life can be insensitive sometimes, and it is hard to get down and feel like the world is ending, but there is always someone who cares and has something to live for. The most important thing to me when dealing with mental health is being honest to the people who care about you and reaching out if you are struggling or feeling like you are drowning under the pressure. Mental health has influenced my beliefs because I know If I work hard, try to be a decent person, and do the best I can, then good things will happen, and the dark times will end. Staying positive and focusing on your goal is a great way to keep out of trouble and on track. The rough time of my mental health has influenced my beliefs, and I feel my morals have strengthened.
My relationships have been affected by mental health and sometimes in some adverse ways. When I lost my grandma and my best friend moved away last spring, I was in a bad place and tried to deal with the pain by going out every night, ignoring the people around me, and trying to avoid talking about the problem. I almost pushed away my last girlfriend because I was afraid of opening up and talking with her, and I thought she wouldn't love me anymore because of my problems when all she did was care and wanted to help me. I found it difficult as a kid to talk to or connect with my family, but as I grew older and built better relationships with them, I was able to create my support system and knew I would always have people in my life who were by my side.
I have been working to break my habit of pushing people away when I am struggling, and I have been going to talk to a therapist and a counselor to work on this issue. I have very high career aspirations, and I plan to accomplish a lot during my professional career. I want to work at NASA upon graduation and then return to school to get my master's in Spacesuit engineering or Orbital Mechanics. After spending time at NASA and helping humans return to the moon, I want to go to the private sector, which will allow me to be more creative, help create new inventions, and push human exploration farther than ever. I plan to use that experience in all those fields and those degrees to work towards becoming an Astronaut and working on whatever goes up in space after the ISS comes down. It has been my dream since I was a little kid to look up at the stars with my Grandpa and Dad, visit the Kennedy Space Center and the Aviation museums, and even meet real-life astronauts. I study Aerospace engineering, and I often wonder whether I can get this degree, complete a class, or balance school and clubs and fun, which I usually get in my head.
Many people in the STEM field experience the "imposter syndrome" or feeling like they are not good enough to do something, and I have felt this way when I go to class or an aerospace club meeting. I think talking about these feelings will help me overcome them one day, and focusing on my mental health and working hard will result in me accomplishing all my goals in the future. I have found people like me on my campus, and being part of the Its on Us club, which raises awareness about women's mental health and sexual assault awareness, has helped me mentally, too. It is imperative to check on others and be open about your problems because if people do not know you are struggling, they can not help.
While writing this essay, which took about 20-30 mins, 2-3 people most likely committed suicide, which is a horrible thing to think about and something we must do better as a society to fix. As my mom always says, nothing is unfixable, and there will always be people who care. We can be the most physically fit people, put on a brave face, and go out in the world, but it is tough to tame the demons inside, and our psychological health is something people often neglect but by far the most important one to take care of. To the friends and people I have lost, you are not forgotten. We love you, and I hope I make you all proud and we will meet again.