When I think ahead to the future there are a lot of unknowns. Nobody knows what tomorrow will hold, but that should not stop anyone from diligently putting in the work every day to reach one’s goals, one’s dreams. By the time I aged out of the foster care system at 18, my former foster family had convinced me thoroughly that I was a troubled teen who needed to check myself into residential treatment for troubled youth. All the programs I looked into required a full-time commitment and those who were admitted were required to get their GED rather than attend high school in person. Nowhere accepted me because the truth was, I wasn’t troubled, I was just autistic, and struggling with undiagnosed PTSD from years of neglect and sexual abuse at the hands of my birth-mother and my brother’s special education teacher. The teacher’s abuse caused me to conceive and miscarry a child. It is that child’s honor that I dedicate myself to one day be the best special education teacher I can be. He may be evil, but I will be force for good. When I went to school to withdraw, I suddenly had a whole team of people telling me that I was okay, great even, imploring me not to stifle my potential, and prepared to walk beside me no matter what it took to make sure I graduated high school with a diploma and could walk across that graduation stage with pride. Through their encouragement and support, I was able to graduate high school with a 3.8GPA and top 15% of my graduating class of over 800. I was also president of Asian American Association, had amassed 300 community service hours and was working upwards of 20 hours a week. On top of all that on my two days off from work I didn’t have time to study or relax because on Thursdays I had visitation with my brother, then women’s Bible study, and on Sundays, I was the 2-year-old Sunday School teacher for two services. I even had to move back in with my abusive mother, lest I face homelessness. Graduating high school at all was a miracle. When I walked across the stage that May when it came my turn to shake the principles hand and take my diploma, he pulled me in for an embrace, and told me how incredibly proud he was of me, and I was just as proud of myself. If it were not for my amazing teachers and principal, I never would have had the chance to walk across that stage with pride. My teachers inspired me never to give up on myself and to strive for greatness. Thus, my dream, which I will achieve, no matter what the future tries to throw at me, is to become a special education teacher at a middle or high school for disadvantaged, and or behaviorally challenged youth. I know what it is like to have all odds stacked against you, but to have someone come into your life to lift you up. I know what it is like to nearly fail. I have no way of knowing if I will mange to make a positive difference in a student’s life, but I have no doubt that someday I will be ready to take up the call if ever given the immense honor.
It may take me longer than most to get there as due to circumstances it has taken me 6 years to get my associates degree, but I will make it no matter how long it takes me and no matter how steep and treacherous the hill I must climb I will get a masters in special education. Someday I will sit at the front of that classroom, looking unwaveringly into the distracted, perhaps apathetic eyes of my students with my heart open, hands ready to pull them up and embolden them, not to change or save the world…. but if they’re ready, to fight for themselves and maybe… just maybe they can change their lives for the better. Throughout my life I have faced numerous challenges in my educational journey, English is not my first literate language, I am learning disabled, diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, am hard of hearing, and am now in a wheelchair due to having a weak heart, I went to 14 different schools in 2 different countries, with 5 different families, and was in both kindergarten, and the 3rd grade twice. I even almost didn’t get my high school diploma. I am a first-generation college student, a former foster youth and am working nights to fund my education. My poor heart forces me to allocate my energy wisely but I know every ounce of energy I put into my education is worthwhile. My journey to higher education has been tumultuous and unpredictable, but across all those years, trials, and tribulations, one thing has been consistent. One thing has always kept me going and never let me quit even when the odds seemed insurmountable. That one thing has been my teachers. No matter where I went, or which country or state I was in, no matter how well funded the school was, I always had amazing and dedicated teachers who saw my potential, and saw me for who I was, am and could be, not just for my challenges, disadvantages, and limitations. They are my heroes, and someday no matter how long it takes, I will be in their shoes even if I never manage to fill them. Thanks to my teachers I know I am kind, compassionate, highly intelligent, patient, a great public speaker, and amazing at explaining things in a way that others can understand. I also carry myself in a way that puts others at ease. In essence, I am perfectly suited to teach, and all the challenges I have faced and still face allow unique insight into the lives of students who are struggling. This gives me tools and empathy others do not have which I will use to pull students up to reach their potential and be their best or at least better selves. I am a living testament, proof of the incredible difference a teacher can make for a student who may otherwise slip through the cracks. I still face challenges, but those challenges continue to empower me never to give up. I have had countless teachers who have and still believe in me, and I will not let them down. I know not everyone is destined for higher education, but I know that I am. I am here now, studying and working hard because I know that someday I will be a special education teacher and my ultimate dream is that my students will succeed and be a living testament to the amazing teachers that have lifted me up to have the honor to lift others up to reach their full actualized potential.
More specifically I plan on teaching special education in Japan, because as a visibly disabled individual, I have the power to inspire Japanese disabled students to believe they can do great things in life. There is disability stigma in Japan I will change that!