I didn't apply to my dream school, and that was the best decision I've made for my mental health. In my closet, I have the notebook full of what my 14-year-old self had planned for her academic career. The pandemic of course threw those plans slightly off course, but what really changed them was me learning that I can't wait until after I earn my degree to take care of my mental health. At the age of 14 I had dedicated my life to getting accepted to my dream school, UW Madison. I knew all of the admission requirements by heart and was already drafting my application essays. I was taking advanced classes and pushing myself to do my absolute best. Despite coming in early every day to work on schoolwork, the constantly lingering threat of not doing well enough to get into my dream school started to take over my life. I would stress out over projects to the point where I was missing due dates and was afraid to talk to my friends who were working towards the same goals because I was afraid that they would see me as "not good enough". After eventually pushing myself to the point of panic attacks during finals week, I realized that the pressure to reach my goal was going to be the obstacle that prevented me from reaching it. As much as I had dreamed of attending UW Madison, I realized that in order to succeed academically, I needed to put my mental health first. 3 years later, UW Madison was not one of the schools I applied to. I decided that I would rather take that goal out of the picture so that I could go to school for the sake of learning and finding the path I wanted to pursue rather than going to school in an attempt to ward off existential dread. After changing that piece of my four-year plan, I made quite a few other changes that have gotten me to where I am today. I joined my school's FFA which brought me so many incredible experiences and lifelong friendships. I tried theatre to push myself out of my comfort zone and loved it, gaining some much-needed confidence. I took a couple psychology electives and fell in love with it, going on to take AP psychology and major in psychology instead of medicine. While having a plan is important, I learned that it is just as important to recognize when that plan needs to be changed. I am now going to school for a subject that I absolutely love, gaining motivation simply because I cannot get enough of the things I am learning about. I know that UW Madison is an amazing school and I possibly could've gotten in, but it was not the path for me and I am so glad that I didn't force myself down a path that I was not meant to go on.

I love a challenge. While math came easily when I was little, I eventually reached a point where I was taking advanced math classes that challenged me in a way that other classes didn't. While I could get through my other classes by just doing the homework and showing up, math provided a different challenge that required a lot more effort. While this was initially frustrating in high school, it provided me with proper study skills that I would later need in college. Math provides its own type of challenge. It is not about memorizing concepts like historical events or vocab words. It requires a deep understanding of the formulas used. While I often could make a guess in other classes, math required me to understand the concepts well enough to understand what answers were within the realm of reasonable. This may seem like I'm just saying that math is hard, but that's what I love about it. There's no better feeling than finally getting the right answer after working hard to figure it out. Even though I am now pursuing a degree in psychology, which only requires statistics, I've taken chemistry classes as electives because of the challenging math concepts involved. Math has helped me develop grit and appreciation for difficult things. That is why I love math.

As a student with ADHD, I have experienced firsthand how hard it can be to learn without the proper support. I feel incredibly grateful that I was able to receive a diagnosis as early as 5th grade but many people aren't diagnosed until adulthood and therefore have to deal with their ADHD symptoms all on their own without the support they need, all while juggling school and extracurriculars. Without the right support, it is much harder for students with ADHD to thrive in a learning environment. Even I wondered when I was younger if I would ever be capable of being a college student because I struggled a lot with concentrating in class and completing assignments but now that I have gained a better understanding of my ADHD, I have been able to acquire the support I need and would now like to use my college education to help other people like me find similar support. My goal for my education is to pursue psychology so I can help people with ADHD of all ages get their diagnosis so that they don't have to manage their symptoms on their own. As well as providing diagnosis, I also aim to help create resources for teachers to learn more about how to help their students with ADHD learn in a way that their students will enjoy and not be as stressed out by. If I receive this scholarship I will be able to pay for some of my college tuition so that I can afford to reach the goals I have set for myself because I understand that in order to receive the knowledge and qualifications for the impact I want to make, I will also have to work very hard to pay for it. By receiving this scholarship I would also be able to get the most out of my education by reducing a lot of the stress that paying for college creates and would be able to focus more on my learning.