I've played soccer since 2016. As I continued the sport, there became less rules, and more physicality, leading to more fouls. I had never been the type to argue with a referee face to face. However, I have found myself cussing them out, and just not being understanding of their position. That is until I became a referee myself. I used to think they were experts, and there's no way they could miss something so simple, like a ball going out of bounds and they call it the wrong way. Or calling a foul that was clearly shoulder to shoulder. These views changed however when I got the license. My first game as a referee I was so nervous, I wanted to make all the right calls, and do all the right things, but deep down I knew this was impossible. August 2nd, 2025. My first ever game at a ripe 8am. I was the sideline judge for a 11v11 U15 boys game. When I got there, both of the other ref's were in their 30's, which intimidated me. They laughed and asked why my first game was U15. I didn't understand what impact this had on my job, that is until later in the game. "Tweet" the head ref blew the whistle, and the teams took the field. The ref's told me to take the parents' side as it would be "easier"... I later realized this was a lie, and they threw me right into the deep end. Within the first 5 minutes my heart rate was already pushing 100, purely from anxiety. These teams were very evenly matched, so as you can imagine, it was a lot of running for the AR's. And just as I was getting adjusted and more calm, the worst imaginable scenario happened. Around 25 minutes in, the green team was approaching the black team's goal box. I was in line with the play, all the way to the 6 yard line. And then bam, a shot was ripped. The goalie made an excellent attempt, redirecting the ball to the crossbar. It hit the underpart, and bounced down crossing the goal line completely, making it a goal. The black team's goalie jumped on the ball and attempted to sneakily pull it out from the goal, hoping it wouldn’t count. However, I raised my flag, signaling a goal was scored. This caused an outrage in several parents, and the black teams coach. I was so red and nervous, but I knew that it was 100% a goal. The head ref came over to the line to consult it with me, making sure I was in position to properly make the call, to which I told him I was in position, and the ball went in the goal completely. During the remainder of time in the game I caught a lot of backlash from parents, questioning every single one of my calls, no matter how obvious they were just to be annoying because of the goal. Throughout this I learned how to ignore opinions that didn't matter, ultimately helping shape my character, and my lifestyle. While I used to think being a referee was a very easy job, and anyone could do it... I was very wrong. It takes a strong person to step out there, knowing someone is always going to disagree with the call you make no matter what. I plan to continue being a referee, not only to be close to the sport, but to continue with doing something I love, watching people compete.

When I think of wrestling, I picture a 100 yard field and a ball, with 11 players on each side. Just kidding, but now that I have your attention, wrestling is more than just a sport to me, it's a passion, MY passion. Growing up, I had a lot of family in one house, uncles, aunts, cousins, and my grandfather. We all used to rough around, and get into "fights", which we thought was karate... but really it was more of a slap battle; needless to say, there were a lot of timeouts granted by parents. Anyways, point being, I was drawn to combat from a young age. Around 4th grade I took interest in learning wrestling on YouTube Kids. I'd go on and search up cool moves, and realized I really enjoyed learning, and trying them on my siblings, (even if it ended with them crying and me getting in trouble). During my 5th grade year my grandfather signed up some of my cousins to wrestle for the Bucs, a junior league program near where we live. I however, was not on this list, because wrestling "Isn't a girls sport". Ironic, seeing as it's one of the fastest growing sports to this day. Anyways, my brother didn't wanna do it, so there was an open slot for someone else to go. I was nervous, but figured, "what's the worst that could happen?", and my passion began there. Fast forward to freshman year of high school. I was new, and timid. Scared of everyone and everything. Bad time management, and terrible self confidence. All of this changed when I got into wrestling season, or so I thought. Everything was fun, but what I didn't realize were the serious changes my mind was about to face. It got to a point where I wanted to quit because I didn't think I could handle all of the stress, and I didn't believe in myself; going through constant confidence issues, not thinking I was good enough, and not seeing a future for myself in the sport. Everyone was better than me, and I started too late, how would I get as good as them? I often asked myself that question, never finding an answer, that was until my junior year. I started making breakthroughs, putting in extra work on my own time, going to the gym consistently, fixing my diet, and surrounding myself with better people. I noticed not only changes to my wrestling, but my lifestyle as well. That's when my life changed both on and off the mat. I started getting wins, including the state title at 135, I was so proud of myself, and it was all thanks to the mental drive this sport gave me. A little girl who was told wrestling was a man's sport, turned into a Maryland state champion, with more work to put in, and more titles to chase. Wrestling was never just a sport in my eyes. It taught me how to change bad habits to good ones, and see losses as lessons. While both of those are big improvements to my life, the most important thing wrestling taught me was how to be ME. The sport helped me find myself, and shape a life that leads to a successful future, and without going through the wins and losses, smiles and tears, or even the starvation and severe bloating, I wouldn't have found this person. So what does wrestling mean to me? It means change. And I am forever grateful to have found something that changed me for the better.

March 7th, 2025. I was pacing the floor in Show Place Arena, warming up for what would be the biggest match of my 24-25 season. I knew physically, it would be a challenge, as my opponent was no scrub… but the challenge was far larger in the mental aspect. The 2 previous years I had fallen short in my semi finals, creating a mental block. I thought it was a curse, like I’d never be able to achieve my goal of winning states. Because of my poor mentality, I had been so nervous about the moment, I did not realize that it was coming up so fast. When I saw my name on the board, “S. Hodges, in the hole”, I started to panic. My heart; racing, my nerves; high, my thoughts; running. Just as I was about to defeat myself, I heard my coach. He was laughing, and bouncing around; per usual, but then he started talking about food to get my mind off of what was about to happen. It calmed me down, to a point where all I felt was excitement and happiness. In that moment, standing there, talking to my coach I felt nothing but joy, as I was surrounded with something I love most; wrestling. During our conversation we covered topics like, our favorite foods, where we would eat after, and even favorite candies. I promise I’m not a heavyweight… yet. This helped to calm me down, and prepare me for my match. Once my nerves were calmed, I felt no pressure. I had no expectations, and no fear, it was at this point, I knew I had overcome my curse, and I only had one task at hand, win. The time had come, and my name was up. “Your gonna be red”(table workers). I was excited, but nervous all at once. I knew my training came down to this moment, and thanks to my coach, I was fully prepared. The whistle blew, and the match began. To sum this all up, my favorite moment from wrestling would be the 30 minutes leading up to my state semi final match junior year. It helped me realize that I do the sport for enjoyment, and not for winning, that’s just a bonus. Overcoming that mental block showed me that I am capable of so much more than I allow myself to think, and I am forever grateful for the person who helped me unlock these realizations, Coach Shevy.