"Thank you mom, you are my guidepost for everything." (Rory Gilmore)
My mom introduced me to Gilmore Girls at a young age, perhaps too young. Luckily, most of the adult references went right over my head. The show meant a lot to her, especially because of the heavy emphasis on mother-daughter relationships. When we began watching together, she wasn’t sure how much time she had left to build a lasting connection with me. My mother discovered she had cancer when she was a teenager. She fought through her diagnosis, beat it, completed college, started her own business, got married, and had me. The amount of challenges she overcame with grace and determination is beyond anything I have seen. She always was and always will be my hero.
I wish my mom’s story had a better ending. She deserved so much more than the hand she was dealt. While she beat cancer, the side effects from chemo did serious damage to her lungs, and we spent a lot of my childhood traveling to different hospitals for treatment. The most promising one was in Boston, which we frequented, and it became a second home to me. She passed away there, right before my fifth-grade graduation. We never got to finish Gilmore Girls together. We got so close, right up to the last few episodes. I vividly remember sitting on the floor in my grandmother’s house after returning home and clicking on “play next episode” without my mother for the first time. I finished the show that night through my tears. It was bittersweet. Those last few episodes allowed me to connect with her again, but then it was over. The television had reset my progress to the first episode. I clicked play and began to rewatch.
In eighth grade, I decided to go to the same school as my mom did for high school. It was a catholic all-girls private school, vastly different from my public school, but I was eager to follow in her footsteps. I rewatched all the episodes of Gilmore Girls where Rory transfers to a private school to prepare myself. Unfortunately, Covid hit at the end of my eighth-grade year. I still transferred, but since my first two years were predominantly hybrid, I made little friends. I really wished I had my mom’s advice on how to fit in with girls who had known each other forever. I filled my companionless lunch periods watching Gilmore Girls because Rory had the same issue. Unfortunately, television isn’t real life and I couldn’t magically make friends like she did. I ended up finding a group, but never felt a sense of belonging. Everyone was a copy of each other, and they didn’t take kindly to those who weren’t. Nearing the end of my sophomore year, I realized my old school offered more opportunities and fewer restrictions on who I could be. I transferred my junior year, and am completely confident I made the right decision. I am so much happier, and now I spend my lunches with friends instead of Gilmore Girls.
I still haven’t stopped watching the show though, and I don’t think I ever will. It has comforted me through so many bad times, like the passing of my grandmother and two of my classmates. Yet it’s guided me through so many good times as well. I don’t have a mother to show me how to be a teenage girl, but I find solace in the fact she left me with something that would help steer me in the right direction. Whenever I watch, I get a glimpse into how she would’ve raised me if she was only given the time. I am forever grateful to this show for allowing me to sustain a connection with my mother that no one can take away.