My whole life, I have been the quiet kid and have always wanted to step out of my shell, but I never had the right environment. I have always been pre-labeled by my first impressions with everyone as quiet and shy, and nothing more. Once that identity comes, it latches and is impossible to unlatch. Over the years, I have tried new activities and joined new groups of people, such as teams, clubs, youth groups, and sports. But in none of these areas have I been successful in the way I desire to be. I want people to know the real me and take me seriously, and no longer think of me as just some quiet girl. There has not yet been a place where I could be myself and not be the quiet girl, until now. For context, I have an uncle with Down Syndrome and he has been a great inspiration in my life. I love him dearly and have always looked up to him in the way that he faces challenges and adversity. Thus, having a family member with Down Syndrome has really immersed me in the special needs community. A few months ago, I started to volunteer at a cafe called the M.O.R.E. Cafe, which stands for Meaningful Opportunities Reaching Everyone. This is a non-profit organization that offers a workspace for people with special needs. I began volunteering every Sunday morning for a couple of hours at this cafe. At the cafe, I am a job coach, which means that I help the employees with tasks around the cafe, such as prepping food, working the cash register, stocking items, etc. In this environment, I was no longer the quiet girl, I was finally something more that I had always longed for. To the employees with special needs, I was not a quiet girl; I was amazing and talented in their eyes(their word not mine). To them, I am so cool and awesome(their words exactly). One of the employees that I assist is a girl with Down Syndrome who is the same age as me and attends a high school close to mine. To her, I am not some quiet and shy girl; I am a friend and someone she can look up to and ask for help. I assist her with what people would typically deem as simple tasks, but for her, it is much more challenging. Being able to give back to this community and volunteer my time is really awesome, and I enjoy it a lot. By going to the cafe and helping a variety of differently-abled employees, I have grown as a person and been able to crawl out of my shy shell.

All my life, coaches, teachers, peers, and teammates have always labeled me as the quiet girl and nothing more. At every awards ceremony, I would always receive quietest or shiest or something along those lines. But as I have gotten older, I have realized how much I have grown into that unwanted identity for myself. Now, as a junior in high school who is thinking about her future and what I will be doing with myself outside of the sheltered, quiet girl life I have been living, it is time for a change. I want to change not only the way others see me, but the way I see me. Recently, I have been opening myself up to more opportunities, such as new clubs and new sports. Over the years, I have noticed a sort of default setting that I comply with: once I get comfortable, I crawl back into my shy girl shell. For instance, in the spring of my freshman year, I started a new sport I had never done before, rowing, and I wanted it to be a chance for me to expand my horizon and make new friends, and a new identity for myself. That plan actually went well, and I made plenty of new friends, but as the season went on and once I was comfortable with where I was, I began to be shy and quiet once more. If no one has ever really experienced the shy and quiet life, well, it is very difficult to leave that life once the people around you have noticed it. Therefore, in my second season on the team in the spring of my sophomore year, I was stuck in my shy shell, and people struggled to hear me when I spoke. Once labeled a quiet girl, always a quiet girl. But I realized that it didn't have to be that. This year as a high school junior, I showed up to the tryouts for an elite club volleyball team not knowing anyone and not expecting to make it. But at the tryout, something different happened; I was confident and loud and just put myself out there. Thus, I made a really good team and had the opportunity to meet a whole new group of people and get away from my shy and quiet identity. I went to the first practice with confidence and was loud and proud to be there. But after a little into the season, my coach said I was the quietest on the team. That stung because I really got out of my shell on this team and felt I was doing well and improving. Thus, since humans are creatures of habit, I started to crawl back to my shy and quiet shell. But that is not what I want to do, I want to have fun and be the bubbly person I always aspired to be. So I went to practice today with a little more pep in my step, and I am taking little steps to be more outgoing. I talked to someone on the team I hadn't spoken to much, and that helped me to take a few steps out of my shell. Now, as I am writing this scholarship essay, it is hitting me that I do not want that quiet girl label ever again. I never want someone to say "what" after I talk or for people to talk over me again. In turn, I want other quiet girls just like me to take a step out of their shells and not have to live with a quiet identity.

The greatest driving force in my life is my uncle with Down Syndrome. With every day he showcases that he is capable of much more than society puts out for him. He has helped me to become the person I am today and my inept sense and care for people with special needs. Simple tasks that most people find very easy and necessary to life are hard for him. He has helped me to realize that there is more to life than just material things and that is important to try even when it is hard. I have grown as a person just being able to know him and understand him. He makes me want to go out do more. Per his inspiration, I have been volunteering at a special needs cafe that is designed to empower individuals with special needs and to help them enter society. At the cafe I help the employees with what would seem like simple tasks to most people but what is actually very difficult for them. I have learned to understand not everything comes easy to everyone but with enough patience and understanding and dedication things can be done. Additionally, a driving force in my life which is inspired by my late grandfather who passed away a few months ago. He was in the peace core and traveled to Tunisia to teach children to read and write. His amazing volunteer work really helped me to become the well rounded person I strive to be. He additionally was a teacher for 35 years and when he retired he was bored and then worked at McDonald’s for 10 years, which I found very ironic. He lived very simply and did not care about material possessions. He resembled that their is more to life than just items and has taught me to do the same. I strive to live more freely and selflessly as he did. I hope to one day work as hard as he did and to live vicariously without caring about to opinion of others and material possessions. With the lessons he has taught me I hope to take them with me into my future. Attending college and starting a career that will further me towards his life is what I hope to accomplish. I hope to have a lasting impact and go somewhere big and accomplish bigger than I can even dream of, with the foundation that the driving forces in my life has gifted me.