It was Christmas week when I first realized that my mental health had gotten out of control. I was visiting family, and during a time that should have been full of joy and happiness, I instead felt numb. I spent most of my time lying on the couch sleeping. Not engaging on my phone or with those around me, but just asleep trying to ignore the world. Even my parents noticed my withdrawnness from those around me, as I had trouble getting through many of the events. After this trip, my parents decided to help me get some help. it was through the help of psychiatrists and therapists that I discovered something that I had feared for months, I was suffering from depression. Through the year, my mental health took tumultuous turns with periods of relative happiness and other low periods where even getting out of bed was difficult. It wasn't until that I was able to get proper mental health treatment did my health start stabilizing. It took immense will power and treatment to be able to get back to the person that I used to be, someone motivated and ready to try new things. In the last couple months, I've slowly been getting back to activities such as running and seeing friends. Furthermore, I've been trying to become more focused on school and staying organized, aspects of my life that fell through the cracks during my illness. I think this Christmas was the biggest indicator of how much I've improved. Due to the help of medication and personal growth, I found it much easier to get through the family events that a year ago were unbearable. I was able to be much more outgoing and even enjoy seeing family members, a task that before was just draining and unengaging. To see myself grow so much in a year, and be in a much better place than before is something that I am proud to see, and I hope to improve through the new year. I think the biggest thing I've learned from this journey is what I want to spend my life doing, which is to be in the mental-health care industry. Particularly, I want to pursue a degree in nursing with the goal of eventually becoming a mental health nurse practitioner. With this certification, I would be able to independently treat and provide therapy to patients with mental illnesses. I believe that a healthy mental state is key for a high-quality life, and to be able to support patients with their mental wellness journey would be one of the most fulfilling things I could do.

When my dad went to jail, my whole life was impacted. It was in fifth grade, and my step-dad, who had recently married my mom months before, was going away for about six months for a DUI. Immediately, impacts were felt.. My stepbrother's mom decided to try to fight for full custody for him, which means we went months without seeing him. Plus, my mom was working all the time to support our family, and I spent a lot of time out of the house. Even as a fifth grader I could see the toll that the situation had on my mom. This emptiness of having her new husband ripped away from her so soon after marriage is one of the most terrifying situations. Especially, recently moving to a new state and having almost no support near her, with her family living far away. Even after my dad got out of jail, the financial struggles for my family continued. My dad losing his job, our family struggled with financial insecurity for years. Seeing the toll taken on my family from my dad's brief but impactful incarceration, I have learned two things. The first is that I want to have a career where I am able to be financially stable to support my family. I never want my children to have to worry about what the next month may bring or if they will have enough food, and I don't want them to have to stress over saving every penny. Second, I want to be able to help those in similar situations receive the mental health care that my mom was not able to get. That is why my goal is to become a mental health nurse practitioner. As a mental health nurse practitioner, I would be able to medically treat as well as provide therapy to my patients. To be able to be an outside resource that helps patients through these difficult situations so that they don't have to suffer alone like my mother did would be a dream come true.