The military has impacted my life by creating my tough Marine father. As a result, I have learned a multitude of lessons that have shaped me throughout my life. My father has always advised my siblings and I, as well as humorous stories that perhaps only children of veterans would understand. Though there are many funny/ humorous stories from my veteran father, like waking us up with trumpets and/or the Marine Corps anthem; this one stuck with me like glue. It was about perseverance. That was the subject of the day. I remember this vividly. It was the summer of 2019, and I was helping my dad in the garage. My dad is a tough man. Honestly, and without hyperbole, the toughest and strongest person I have ever known. I have and will continue to look up to him and the standards that he created. However, I am not as tough as him. I will say that I am a more sensitive soul. One day, on one of our frequent conversations, I asked him ' How do you get through your life when each day is so difficult to get through?'. For context, I have a history of anxiety and at the time was falling into depression. Every day had seemed to get harder and harder. So, I asked my dad for advice since he keeps on going through, what seems every hardship imaginable. Something surprised me though with his answer, for he rarely talks about his deployments in his time in the military. Usually, he just mentions how he wished he stayed longer than a decade. He responded with a story of one of his deployments. He talked about that when he would be in the desert for weeks under the grueling heat—planning and practicing ambushing the enemy. The alternative was to run away like a coward with your tail in between your legs. Or you get through each hellishly hot day, PT, and extensive planning to go out there, hide, and get it done. Done meaning shooting them down. Then you go back to the drawing board and do it all over again. "Each day is grueling, Sofia. Life is not fair as these weak-minded people might think. But you make what you want of it. You get out there and embrace the suck! This is because you should enjoy the pain. The pain means that you are doing something. The pain means that after each grueling day and life punching you down, you get right back up and attack!" My father has taught my siblings and me to be tough. Not just tough, to be perseverant, hardworking, and strong for others who cannot protect themselves. As my father used to say, " There are three types of people in this world, sheep, wolves, and sheep dogs. Don't be a sheep that gets killed or a wolf that takes advantage of the weak sheep. But be a sheepdog and protect the sheep." I still have a lot to learn. But perseverance is in my blood. The world won't knock me down that easily. OORAH!!

Though there are many funny/ humorous stories from my veteran father, like waking us up with trumpets and/or the Marine Corps anthem; this one stuck with me like glue. It was about perseverance. That was the subject of the day. I remember this vividly. It was the summer of 2019, and I was helping my dad in the garage. My dad is a tough man. Honestly, and without hyperbole, the toughest and strongest person I have ever known. I have and will continue to look up to him and the standards that he created. However, I am not as tough as him. I will say that I am a more sensitive soul. One day, on one of our frequent conversations, I asked him ' How do you get through your life when each day is so difficult to get through?'. For context, I have a history of anxiety and at the time was falling into depression. Every day had seemed to get harder and harder. So, I asked my dad for advice since he keeps on going through, what seems every hardship imaginable. Something surprised me though with his answer, for he rarely talks about his deployments in his time in the military. Usually, he just mentions how he wished he stayed longer than a decade. He responded with a story of one of his deployments. He talked about that when he would be in the desert for weeks under the grueling heat—planning and practicing ambushing the enemy. The alternative was to run away like a coward with your tail in between your legs. Or you get through each hellishly hot day, PT, and extensive planning to go out there, hide, and get it done. Done meaning shooting them down. Then you go back to the drawing board and do it all over again. "Each day is grueling, Sofia. Life is not fair as these weak-minded people might think. But you make what you want of it. You get out there and embrace the suck! This is because you should enjoy the pain. The pain means that you are doing something. The pain means that after each grueling day and life punching you down, you get right back up and attack!" My father has taught my siblings and me to be tough. Not just tough, to be perseverant, hardworking, and strong for others who cannot protect themselves. As my father used to say, " There are three types of people in this world, sheep, wolves, and sheep dogs. Don't be a sheep that gets killed or a wolf that takes advantage of the weak sheep. But be a sheepdog and protect the sheep." I still have a lot to learn. But perseverance is in my blood. The world won't knock me down that easily. OORAH!!

I believe that empathy and conscientiousness are extremely important in our daily lives. That we should not only think about ourselves. Not what benefits you individually, but our local community overall. That is the main reason why I joined the National Honors Society at my school; because I know that is what their goal is as well. My main goal in life is to help. I am an altruistic person and I feel as though this is my life's purpose. I love helping others and I think that we as humans should stick together to help lift each other up. No matter how big or small. It has been a motivator for me. As stated previously, I have joined the National Honors Society. I love it. We have raised money for the poor, and necessities for Ukraine, and volunteered to help our town's teachers and food pantries. From litter pickup to Breast cancer awareness fundraisers. I never get tired of it. It gives me a sense of purpose and I am glad to know that others are getting the help that they deserve. With doing 35 community service hours last year and I am going for 45 hours of volunteer hours this year. While not in school or volunteering, that motivator to help is still there. For example, over the summer, I chose to work at my local Green Teen. Where their goal is to help as well. Their motto even being " Growing food. Growing Community. Growing self." Where groups of teens would grow fresh food, helping neighboring farms, and giving it out for free to help people with food insecurity. As well as specifically planting certain plants in our pollinator patches to help increase pollinator populations. Such as the bumble bee and the Monarch butterfly. While furthering my education, I want to continue being my altruistic self. I am planning on doing this by becoming a resident's assistant. In this position, I will be able to look over my entire dorm floor and be like an elder sister to them. To support and guide them. Altruism, empathy, and conscientiousness are the three most important words in my opinion. It has been a part of my daily life, my goals, and the decision-maker of what I do with myself. I will continue for this to be apart of my life. It is apart of me. It is ingrained, and I am glad that it is.

I cannot even put into words the amount of gratitude I have for my family for coming here. For sacrificing so much for a better life. I am also grateful for the impact that it has had on me. It has shaped the way I am and how I will continue to be. Some of my peers may look at me and think that I am an extremely intelligent student because I get high grades. That it just happens without motivation. But that is not it. I have my reasons and my motivations. I realize more personally that the majority of people in this world do not get an opportunity for education. To books and information online. I realize this because that is how my family grew up. On both sides, it was covered with poverty. It was all poor farm towns that needed their children to help them on the farm to survive. So a formal education was not a top priority. Even if some of my family had a slice of opportunity, it was only reserved for the males in the family. It was deemed as not for the girls. They were going to be married off and have many kids anyway. That was their only role. Though, growing up like that, my parents thought a little differently. While still carrying their strong traditional values and beliefs, they pushed for education for their children. Especially my mother for her daughters. She pushed for it. She thought, ' Though I was not allowed nor encouraged to have this. They deserve it. I want to give them all that I did not have.' So, I was taught the importance of education. The large opportunity I have that many others do not. I was not about to waste it. I put my all to get the highest scores. To read and learn more. To become the best. To make my family proud. To make the sacrifices worth it. Not only from k-12. But through life. Through college and learning in general. To take advantage of the precious opportunities that I have. Sadly, many things, like college tuition are too expensive for me. As I am the only one that will be responsible for paying it all. I have been applying to as many scholarships as possible. So I can decrease my overwhelming anxiety about the tuition and focus more on my studies as a biology major. I do not think that I ever stop moving forward. I have this opportunity and I believe that my ancestors are with me. Smiling down on me, helping me through.

I cannot even put into words the amount of gratitude I have for my family for coming here. For sacrificing so much for a better life. I am also grateful for the impact that it has had on me. It has shaped the way I am and how I will continue to be. Some of my peers may look at me and think that I am an extremely intelligent student because I get high grades. That it just happens without motivation. But that is not it. I have my reasons and my motivations. I realize more personally that the majority of people in this world do not get an opportunity for education. To books and information online. I realize this because that is how my family grew up. On both sides, it was covered with poverty. It was all poor farm towns that needed their children to help them on the farm to survive. So a formal education was not a top priority. Even if some of my family had a slice of opportunity, it was only reserved for the males in the family. It was deemed as not for the girls. They were going to be married off and have many kids anyway. That was their only role. Though, growing up like that, my parents thought a little differently. While still carrying their strong traditional values and beliefs, they pushed for education for their children. Especially my mother for her daughters. She pushed for it. She thought, ' Though I was not allowed nor encouraged to have this. They deserve it. I want to give them all that I did not have.' So, I was taught the importance of education. The large opportunity I have that many others do not. I was not about to waste it. I put my all to get the highest scores. To read and learn more. To become the best. To make my family proud. To make the sacrifices worth it. My education was not the only thing that my family background has influenced though. I have been taught to be strong, mentally, and physically. Though one side is telling me to be small and dainty; that is how a girl should be. The other is to be physically strong. Though overall my family has been silenced and abused as children and adults, and have difficulty showing and dealing with emotions healthily, if at all. I have taken the former habit as well. Making a rollercoaster and overwhelming household. Though I have no ill will towards them for this. I realize that this was how they grew up and their childhood coping mechanisms. Though, I have worked towards doing the opposite. To deal with emotions healthily so it does not hurt my long term. To power through. As I have been taught. That nothing good comes from weakness. To never stop moving forward. I have this opportunity and I believe that my ancestors are with me. Smiling down on me, helping me through.

What is clean living? Perhaps one person has a different definition than another. Perhaps two people are working towards "clean living" in different ways. I feel that the important thing though, is that all of those varying people have a goal to improve their lives. Whether it is eating more locally, decreasing one-time wastes, or investing in unharmful, perhaps even sustainable body care. For years I have researched the effects and backgrounds of the daily things that we all use, but turn a blind eye to; e.g. shampoo, food, bags, etc. It was a bit shocking to me. Since, like the majority of us, we do not think about what we deem as minuscule and unimportant. I was shocked at the fragrance, the parabens that I did not even know were harmful to me. I was shocked at the fast fashion industry as well as the industrial food complex. I did not realize that so many things around me, or that I have indirectly supported have been a piece that hurts other people and the planet we live on. So, it was time to work. This subject had then become important to me in an instant and has stayed that way ever since. I wanted to improve. To be better. I was focused. I was on a role. I did all kinds of research. I read, watched, rewatched, read labels, and learned constantly. I wanted to know how to help. How to be better in my daily life. After much research, I started to implement it. I stopped using shampoos and conditioners with fragrances and parabens, eventually moving to bar soaps, shampoos, and conditioners to decrease my plastic waste. I started to be more passionate about reusing containers and finding new uses for things. I also started to go to the local produce market in the summer to get locally sourced-food. They are the ones who do most for the food and deserve all of the money in my opinion. So, I am glad to give it to them. I then canceled accounts and permanently stopped shopping at places that contributed to fast-fashion pollution. To wear the clothes I have, wear pre-loved or crochet new ones. Basically, I started to think more conscientiously. I started to really prioritize how significant things are. Are they really worth it? Can I get it somewhere else where it is less harmful? Is this going to become a permanent resident of my life? Or am I being impulsive? I am so glad about the improvements that I have made over the years. Though I am not done yet. I am always working towards my definition of clean living. To be more eco-friendly and sustainable. To be better than how I was even yesterday.

It has taken me years of struggling with diagnosed depression, and anxiety disorders to finally learn how to take care of myself in a multitude of ways. I have realized, that through my healing and progression with mental health, my ideas for the future have changed for the better. Including my goals, relationships, and how I look/understand the world. I have realized that my look at relationships has changed. Whether it is friendship, romantic, or in my family. In regards to friendship, I have learned that the relationship should not be unequal. That I should not be like the therapist or mother in the friendship. Though, being there for your friends and having the latter qualities are good, it should be an equal friend-to-friend relationship. You must be there for each other. I have realized that the latter is the focus of relationships. That I should not be afraid to be alone and attach to people with that I used to relate and connect to. Overall, I have realized that I cannot control other people's emotions. I should not shut down my feelings to appease someone else. I deserve to be heard and better communication has become a goal of mine. As well as to learn to not suppress my emotions. But to instead let me feel them, identify them and deal with them. While struggling with my mental health, has made me curious about why I feel such a way. This has motivated me to study psychology on my own and in school. As well as wanting to future study it in college. My beliefs regarding the world have changed as well. I realize that the world can be very overwhelming, stressful, and overstimulating. Making one want to shut down. Though, even though the world is the latter qualities, there are still wonderful things in this world. Maybe only a few, depending on how you see it. Though it is important to focus on those things. Otherwise, you will be the doom of yourself. Through the years, it has been filled with trial and error. Lots of realization and progression as well. My mental health struggles and healing has changed me. But I am glad about how it has changed me. I am proud of how I am today and how it has changed my view on many things.

It has taken me years of struggling with diagnosed depression, and anxiety disorders to finally learn how to take care of myself in a multitude of ways. I have realized, that through my healing and progression with mental health, my ideas for the future have changed for the better. Including my goals, relationships, and how I look/understand the world. I have realized that my look at relationships has changed. Whether it is friendship, romantic, or in my family. In regards to friendship, I have learned that the relationship should not be unequal. That I should not be like the therapist or mother in the friendship. Though, being there for your friends and having the latter qualities are good, it should be an equal friend-to-friend relationship. You must be there for each other. I have realized that the latter is the focus of relationships. That I should not be afraid to be alone and attach to people with that I used to relate and connect to. Overall, I have realized that I cannot control other people's emotions. I should not shut down my feelings to appease someone else. I deserve to be heard and better communication has become a goal of mine. As well as to learn to not suppress my emotions. But to instead let me feel them, identify them and deal with them. My understanding of the world has changed as well. I realize that the world can be very overwhelming, stressful, and overstimulating. Making one want to shut down. Though, even though the world is the latter qualities, there are still wonderful things in this world. Maybe only a few, depending on how you see it. Though it is important to focus on those things. Otherwise, you will be the doom of yourself. Through the years, it has been filled with trial and error. Lots of realization and progression has well. My mental health struggles and healing has changed me. But I am glad of how it has changed me. I am proud of how I am today and how it has changed my view on many things.

Trigger Warning: mental health disorders, self-harm, S.A. This past year, I have been finally taking care of myself. I have been finally taking care of my own mental, physical and emotional health. Whereas before, I did not know how to take care of the latter and I was sacrificing it for no good reason. This past year, I have grown as a person. I have learned to communicate effectively, put boundaries down and understand and deal with my emotions. This did not happen overnight. Nor was there a magical day that I came upon this epiphany. It took lots of pain and suffering to get to this point in my life. Though I realize that I have had a short life on this Earth, I feel like I have been through pain and suffering. The reason for my growth is mainly lots of therapy. I started to go through a very deep depression in the summer of 2020 and I have been working through it ever since. My anxiety disorders started to worsen and it was dreadful. One of the major events that really changed my life though, was when I started to self-harm. It was those times, unpacking it during therapy, that it is time to change. I have tried before to heal and progress. It worked some, but I needed a more radical change. That is where I put my efforts toward overall health and wellness. I have worked towards forgiving myself, for my flaws and all. My life's value is not attached to my grades or achievements. Nor are they attached to my imperfections and shortcomings. I started to listen to my feelings more and communicate them. Setting boundaries and putting myself first. To cool down on the people pleasing as well. To maintain my nutritional health, I have been eating balanced. I have not been strict and restrictive. When I have a craving, I do not suppress it and then binge or go to bed hungry. I listen to my body. I do not feel bad about whatever I eat nor force myself to eat out of wanting to suppress my emotions. I eat when hungry and do not when I am not. I keep nutritional snacks and prep meals so I do not go hungry and then binge on junk food. I have found that working out and starting martial arts have helped me with my mental health. As well as giving me a boost in confidence and self-esteem. Though, I have also wanted to grow for the little girl in me. To not be bound by fear as she was. I have also opened up and realized some things about myself. When I was younger, 10 years old to be exact, I was violated. I want to be strong for her. I also want to be strong and not be that frozen and scared little girl if it would happen again. I honestly feel like I am a better version of myself. I am proud of the person I have become. Though, I will continually work to become the best person I can be. I am so glad that I have been finally taking care of myself. I deserve love. I am not invalid. I deserve happiness. I deserve and will use my voice. I am me.

I feel like going to college has been an experience that many people have looked forward to. Television shows and movies reinforcing the view of a fun and exciting experience. Though, at least for me, I did not realize until recently how much it would take to balance everything together. That it will be a challenge to both take care of myself and to be academically studious. That is something they do not show you as a child. I am excited to meet new people. People who have similar interests. I am so excited to learn more about my field of biology. I am also excited to have more experiences living on my own on campus. To maintain well-rounded overall wellness, I work on my physical health in a few ways. I love to hike the mountains that I live around and enjoy nature with my father and dog, Stella. I also love to enjoy nature by walking the rail trail and around my neighborhood. Recently though, I have started on my journey with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a type of martial arts. As a female and as a future college student. I have a goal to be physically active for my own mental well-being as well as to improve my body. I believe my body deserves to be active and capable. As well as being prepared and being able to protect me against any situations or encounters that may occur. I am still working to maintain my own mental health and wellness. But I am proud of myself for the progress I have done and I am grateful for the supportive people around me. I have improved and am still working on communicating my feelings to the people around me. I am putting up boundaries to not put too much on my person and overwhelm myself. To finally respect myself. I have learned to prioritize things around me and learn that perfectionism is not real in this world. That no matter how much I attempt and stress to achieve it, I will never. And though it is good to try my best, I should try to forgive myself and remember that I am still a human. And my flaws do not make me worthless. My life's value is not attached to my grades or achievements. Nor are they attached to my imperfections and shortcomings. I have learned that not living up to an unrealistic expectation is not a failure. I am human and I should not hate myself for it. I have value because I am me. I have value because human life has value. I am still working on taking care soul. I feel like I am wandering to find an answer. Sometimes I like to cry. To let all that I am subconsciously keeping in, out. I have found that praying and meditation works at times. I want to find out. I really to. Because how can I take care of my overall wellness and health if I am not taking care of my soul? I am looking forward to college experiences. Though I do realize it won’t be like the movies nor television shows. I look forward to progressing in my journey towards overall wellness and health.

It has taken me through difficult situations and hard-to-swallow lessons to finally take care of myself. One is in a nutritional sense. I have a past of a poor relationship with food since I was a child. I used to be extremely hateful of my body as well as make poor eating habits. After being so tired of it all, I started to do some research, and I have been doing it ever since. I am glad about where I am progressing and how I am maintaining my overall health. I believe it is important to have healthy eating habits because I know how it is to be without them. I wanted to know if there were other ways to lose weight and finally be happy with myself. I would realize little by little how my actions were harmful. So, to maintain my nutritional health, I have been eating balanced. I have not been strict and restrictive. When I have a craving, I do not suppress it and then binge or go to bed hungry. I listen to my body. I do not feel bad about whatever I eat nor force myself to eat out of wanting to suppress my emotions. I eat when hungry and do not when I am not. I keep nutritional snacks and prep meals so I do not go hungry and then binge on junk food. I have noticed that while I am working on my nutritional health, I feel less poor about myself. I am binging less and having more energy throughout the day to go outside and be physicall active. To enjoy nature and do martial arts (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to be exact). I have noticed that the trio of overall health (mental, physical, and nutritional) are connected. With better eating habits, I feel better to do things. That I am less anxious. That when I start to commit to bettering myself mentally, I gravitate to better myself nutritionally. When I do physical activity, I feel better emotionally and gravitate towards more nutritious foods to satisfy and nourish myself. It is a wonderful and interesting connection. It has taken me a long time of lots of suffering to finally recognize and learn the importance of my nutritional health. But while at one time it was non-existent, I came back from it. I am progressing and doing much better than before. I am proud.

I believe in having well-rounded overall health. The trio of health: mental, physical, and nutritional. I am starting to learn that no matter the circumstance, you still need to take care of yourself. To not neglect nor forget yourself. It has taken me through difficult situations and hard-to-swallow lessons. Though, I am glad about where I am progressing and how I am maintaining my overall health while being in school or not. I am still working to maintain my own mental health and wellness. But I am proud of myself for the progress I have done and I am grateful for the supportive people around me. I have improved and am still working on communicating my feelings to the people around me. I am putting up boundaries to not put too much on my person and overwhelm myself. To finally respect myself. I have learned to prioritize things around me and learn that perfectionism is not real in this world. That no matter how much I attempt and stress to achieve it, I will never. And though it is good to try my best, I should try to forgive myself and remember that I am still a human. And my flaws do not make me worthless. My life's value is not attached to my grades or achievements. Nor are they attached to my imperfections and shortcomings. I have learned that not living up to an unrealistic expectation is not a failure. I am human and I should not hate myself for it. I have value because I am me. I have value because human life has value. To maintain well-rounded overall wellness. I work on my physical health in a few ways. I love to hike the mountains that I live around and enjoy nature with my father and dog, Stella. I also love to enjoy nature by walking the rail trail and around my neighborhood. Recently though, I have started on my journey with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a type of martial arts. As a female and as a future college student. I have a goal to be physically active for my own mental well-being as well as to improve my body. I believe my body deserves to be active and capable. As well as being prepared and being able to protect me against any situations or encounters that may occur. I have a past of a poor relationship with food since I was a child. I used to be extremely hateful of my body as well as make poor eating habits. After being so tired of it all, I started to do some research, and I have been doing it ever since. I wanted to know if there were other ways to lose weight and finally be happy with myself. I would realize little by little how the my actions were harmful. So, to maintain my nutritional health, I have been eating balanced. I have not been strict and restrictive. When I have a craving, I do not suppress it and then binge or go to bed hungry. I listen to my body. I do not feel bad about whatever I eat nor force myself to eat out of wanting to suppress my emotions. I eat when hungry and do not when I am not. I keep nutritional snacks and prep meals so I do not go hungry and then binge on junk food. Learning to live a more well-rounded and balanced lifestyle has been a journey. Though I am glad I learned from it. I am glad that I am starting to finally take care of myself.

I believe in having well-rounded overall health. I am starting to learn that no matter the circumstance, you still need to take care of yourself. To not neglect nor forget yourself. It has taken me through difficult situations and hard-to-swallow lessons. Though, I am glad about where I am progressing and how I am maintaining my overall health while being in school or not. I am still working to maintain my own mental health and wellness. But I am proud of myself for the progress I have done and I am grateful for the supportive people around me. I have improved and am still working on communicating my feelings to the people around me. I am putting up boundaries to not put too much on my person and overwhelm myself. To finally respect myself. I have learned to prioritize things around me and learn that perfectionism is not real in this world. That no matter how much I attempt and stress to achieve it, I will never. And though it is good to try my best, I should try to forgive myself and remember that I am still a human. And my flaws do not make me worthless. My life's value is not attached to my grades or achievements. Nor are they attached to my imperfections and shortcomings. I have learned that not living up to an unrealistic expectation is not a failure. I am human and I should not hate myself for it. I have value because I am me. I have value because human life has value. To maintain well-rounded overall wellness. I work on my physical health in a few ways. I love to hike the mountains that I live around and enjoy nature with my father and dog, Stella. I also love to enjoy nature by walking the rail trail and around my neighborhood. Recently though, I have started on my journey with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a type of martial arts. As a female and as a future college student. I have a goal to be physically active for my own mental well-being as well as to improve my body. I believe my body deserves to be active and capable. As well as being prepared and being able to protect me against any situations or encounters that may occur. I have a past of a poor relationship with food since I was a child. I used to be extremely hateful of my body as well as make poor eating habits. After being so tired of it all, I started to do some research, and I have been doing it ever since. I wanted to know if there were other ways to lose weight and finally be happy with myself. I would realize little by little how the my actions were harmful. So, to maintain my nutritional health, I have been eating balanced. I have not been strict and restrictive. When I have a craving, I do not suppress it and then binge or go to bed hungry. I listen to my body. I do not feel bad about whatever I eat nor force myself to eat out of wanting to suppress my emotions. I eat when hungry and do not when I am not. I keep nutritional snacks and prep meals so I do not go hungry and then binge on junk food. Learning to live a more well-rounded and balanced lifestyle has been a journey. Though I am glad I learned from it. I am glad that I am starting to finally take care of myself.

I have learned the importance of mental health because I have learned the consequences of not taking care of it. When my mental health was non-existent and I was at the lowest I have ever been in my entire life. When I thought that my suffering would never end. When I felt numb. I felt as light as a ghost with a hole in my chest. My throat suffocated and I felt as if I would die. I just wanted it to end. I wanted an out. In any way imaginable. It took me to reach my lowest. To the point that I needed to start weekly, at times, two times a week therapy sessions. Then I was put on medication for depression and anxiety disorders to help me get through each day. But still, I went through harmful coping mechanisms that caused a change in medication. For the longest time, I put others' emotions and convenience before mine. I would push down whatever I was feeling so it is not a burden or inconvenience to others. Little did I know at that time that I would not be able to help myself on my own. That I needed to reach out for help. This was too big for me to handle. As a result of the experiences that I have previously stated, I learned through therapy to both acknowledge my feelings and that other people's happiness are not my responsibility. To be altruistic is not with the lack of self. I am still working to maintain my own mental health and wellness. But I am proud of myself for the progress I have done and I am grateful for the supportive people around me. I have improved and am still working on communicating my feelings to the people around me. I am putting up boundaries to not put to much on my person and overwhelm myself. To finally respect myself. I have learned to prioritize things around me and learn that perfectionism is not real in this world. That no matter how much I attempt and stress to achieve it, I will never. And though it is good to try my best, I should try to forgive myself and remember that I am still a human. And my flaws do not make me worthless. My life's value is not attached to my grades or achievements. Nor are they attached to my imperfections and short comings. I have learned that not living up to an unrealistic expectation is not a failure. It is human and I should not hate myself for it. I have value because I am me. I have value because human life has value. It has taken me lots of suffering to finally recognize and learn the importance of mental health. But while at one time my mental health was non-existent, I came back from it. I am progressing and doing better than just surviving. I am proud.

Learning has been the fuel to my curious and inquisitive mind. Always wanting to know more. To understand more. I have seen knowledge as a scroll of information as a new level in a game. A new achievement. I want to be as knowledgable, skilled, and educated as possible. I want to know the things of the world. I yearn for more information. For any information that I can get my hands on. I am not sure why I am as curious and inquisitive as I am. But I am. And I am glad that I am. I enjoy learning anything that I can. I get a thrill, a neurological chemical rush. A love for learning. I love to read, to watch, to study, to listen and learn. I love the immense amount of different topics in this world. And I want to have as many scrolls in my basket as possible. Even when my formal education finishes, I will not stop. I honestly do not know if I am possible to stop the yearning I have for more knowledge. I know, just as I have been doing on my own time, to continue to read various topics from as many books, digital and physical. I will continue to watch as many documentaries and thrilling educational films. I will continue to watch as many videos as I can get from researching accredited resources. I will continue to ask questions and find out the answers. I will continue to listen as much as possible to podcasts and the people around me on their various opinions. I enjoy observing each side, comparing them and then, after comparing the unbiased facts, after much research and study, to come up with my own stance. Learning will be a part of my life until the day I peresh from this Earth. Learning is my brain's food for life. It is the excitement of my days alive. I want more. I yearn for more. I want those scrolls. I want to be the best person that I can. I want to know as much as I can. I want to be educated and independent. This is what I want. This is my life long goal. Even when all things in my life may change, my love for learning will be a constant for me. I know it will; because it will be a part of me forever.

“No action is without reason,” my father always says. For years he has said, “ We all have a reason or numerous reasons for every single thing that we do. Every thought that we have. And every word that we say”. So, college is obviously included in my father’s educational statements. He was right then again. Depending on the person, one may have one or a multitude of reasons for pursuing higher education. Eg. college, vocational, trade, or internship. Some people’s motivation is to party. Some people are for academics and to be more educated in their field. Or perhaps it is simply because they are forced to by their family or peer pressured. Pursuing higher education was something I knew I was going to do from a young age. Reason number one: a college education/ higher education was encouraged by my family; as they never got to do so. I want to go out of gratitude to them. Whether it was because they never even finished middle or high school, living in poverty, and/or trying to survive in a new country without knowing the language. Even when available, in my mother's generation, the women in my family were never encouraged. As it was seen as useless. As a waste. A women’s place is simpler, less intellectually challenging, etc. because that is all a woman is capable of. So, higher education was not a part of “ a woman's place in this world”. Her place is to get married and stay home to take care of the children. Though I do respect any person who chooses that role, I believe that it is not the only place my sex belongs. This paired with reason number two: my inquisitive and curious mind yearning for more. Wanting for my entire day to be filled with my AP Biology class. To learn more. To go deeper. I want that knowledge. I want this to be my life. Higher education is intensely important as it is another step into one's field. To be educated individuals of society. So, the reasoning for my person? Simple. I see it as important to be as fully educated and trained in my field as possible. As well as wanting to go for all of the women in my family who were not encouraged and seen as less than their male counterparts. For those who were denied such opportunities that they deserved. I am privileged and grateful to have this opportunity.

After around 11 years of wanting and begging for a dog, it finally happened last year. I tell you now, my life has been changed for the better. I never realized how much impact my dog could have done on me. I wonderfully picked up my dog, Stella (aka Stella Bella Bear or Stelladoro) in August of 2021, and it was one of the best decisions I feel like my family has done. Stella is a female Cane Corso aka Italian Mastiff. We got her when I was just coming out of a dark place. She is a large reason why I have succeeded in my recovery to this day. For some back story, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and multiple anxiety disorders. It got to the point that it was intensely debilitating and I reached my low of lows. She was always there. Confused about what was wrong, she was always there. Attempting to cheer me up, to kiss, play or give me a hug. She was there when I felt alone on this planet in my suffering. She was always there. She was one of the few things that were good about this world. That made living a little more than just tolerable. Something to look forward to was her. To her touch, her lick, her zoomies, our walks, training, and hikes. She was always there. There were times when I was too anxious and too paranoid to even leave the house. Feeling as if something horrible was going to happen to me. I would get too overwhelmed and overthink that I felt as if my head would explode. That there was an anvil on my chest and a ball in my throat, suffocating me. But she was there, and she made everything so much better. With her, I felt safe. I could go out for walks and hikes when before I did not even want to get out of bed. I could do training and feel so happy when before I felt nothing. I was numb. I get overwhelmed when walking in stores or towns. But with her (in stores that allow dogs of course) I feel calmer and safer. With her, I am better. Every moment, every touch, every look made by her makes every day of each dreadful day better. Though, I do highly suggest to people to get professional help, as I do. Simply getting a pet will not help deal with what you are going through. But Stella surely helped me in my recovery. Those 11 years of yearning surely were worth it. I would do it again in an instant. I do not know what I would do without my Stella. I would be more than heartbroken. I am so very grateful that she is now in my life. She is my other half as well as my protector as I am hers.

Growing up, Disney was like my best friend. I found refuge and safety in the happy endings, the glamorous costumes, and how love/goodness always triumphs over hate/ evil. I still hold that to this day, even if my character preferences, understanding of the theme, and relatability have changed. When I was younger, I was a Cinderella fanatic. I loved everything related to, designed as, Cinderella. I wanted to watch it every single day, multiple times a day. Which is not unlike my siblings. (My sisters were obsessed with Pocahontas and Belle.) I am not sure why I loved Cinderella, I feel like I have a different connection with her between then and now. I simply loved the beautiful animation and dresses. Now, I see her differently. I still love Cinderella (aka Ella). But now I relate to her loneliness while being around people that are supposed to love and care for her. I understand being silenced. I understand feeling as if I do not belong. I understand how someone who you are close to is oblivious to the cruelty of others. I understand scrubbing and working hard to get through each day and appease others. Trying to be a better and kind person. I understand. Just as I too, to this day, yearn for a happy ending that we find in Disney movies. I yearn to be fallen in love with; even when others make me feel the opposite. I yearn to be loved like in the movies. Perhaps it is unrealistic. No, I know it is. But I still have that hope deep close to my heart. I relate to Cinderella; more than I have ever realized when I was younger. Disney will always be close to my heart and nostalgic in a multitude of ways. I never left my idealistic ideals in my brain. Just as the safety, love, and of course, the wonderful costumes have stayed.

Math and the sciences have been a large interest for me ever since late elementary/ early middle school. There was always a thrill, a love. I yearned for more. More problems, more information. More equations, a deepth into living organisms. Wonderfully, math is greatly connected to the sciences. In high school, I took as many science-based electives and classes as possible to get much science as I could reach. Finally, last year, in my junior year, I took Advanced Placement Biology; geting a four out of five on the exam. This is the class that solidified my love for both the sciences and biology. I could never get nor learn enough. I wanted to learn more. I wanted my whole school day to be filled with that class. I found myself watching, reading, and learning more about the biological sciences and careers in that field for enjoyment. It was the class that I yearned to and was excited to go to. Even though it was rigourus and difficult. That is when I realized that this is what I want to put my life towards. This is what I want to study. I want to know; to learn more. I realize now that once I was introduced to the sciences, I was hooked. I was hooked for life. Ever since elementary school, I felt as if the maths clicked in my brain. I would ask my teachers for extra work/credit, in response to their puzzled looks (as I didn’t need the extra points) I would respond that it is simply for my enjoyment. With math there was the excitement of solving the problem. Each step an adrenaline rush. I get so focused and excited. It feeling perhaps even euphoric. Each problem a puzzle to solve. I feel my brain’s wheels turning as I go through each step. To finally get to an answer and feel such accomplishment. So satisfying, so much fun. All to do it over again and again. To then get to more complex problems and ways to learn. To get even more enjoyment and thrill. Though I do not know at this moment what specific career I want from the S.T.E.M. field, I do want to dedicate my time and life to this. I am planning to major in biology to get my bachelors and then go on from there. To answer your question of 'why?' is simple. I love it. It is apart of me. I am happy when I am with it; when I am not, I find myself going back to it to learn and understand more.

While on my journey of applying for scholarships, I have learned more about who I am. The questions asked in the essay- required scholarships are critical for understanding who is applying and worthy of the money being given to the student(s). Though, it has done more for me than simply given the possibility of lower student debt. Such inquisitive and personal questions have made me reanalyze myself. It has made me realize how much I have achieved, and will continue to achieve. It has helped me to continue to understand my own value. That I am both my mistakes that I have learned from, as well as the achievements that I have made in the short time I have been in this world. For example, though I have struggled with my mental health ( diagnosed with clinical depression and multiple anxiety disorders), I have been reminded that there are many more like me out there. Out there struggling and surviving. Others out there continue to focus on what is ahead of them. To push through and gain that higher education no matter their chemical imbalances or past experiences. I have done well; especially with my struggles. I am in the top 20% of my high school class. I have almost completed high school with my AP credits. It has made me realize that, even though I am not valedictorian, I am still worthy and deserve higher education with help of others via scholarships; because others like me have done the same, similar things in my position. I am still an inquisitive, determined hard worker, no matter if I get all A's. When I make mistakes, I am determined to learn from them. I have learned to overcome. Even if I have a long way to go in this world. I have learned to study. To work hard. To organize, prioritize and balance both mental and academic well-being. I have learned so much about myself. I am proud of the person I have become to be. As well as I will continue to learn and improve. Just as I will continue to do with my education. Lastly, something that I have learned on a less serious note. I have learned that there are scholarships for so many. I am glad about this. So many people of diverse backgrounds and experiences can gain support from others. There are also some that are a bit humorous. Such as the pet lover scholarship or the Disney character one. It makes the weight of fighting against student debt stop for a moment to put a smile on. So, while on my journey of applying for scholarships, I have learned many lessons. Mostly about myself, but also about the scholarship world out there. I am glad of the questions asked because they helped both the reader(s) and myself learn about me.

“No action is without reason,” my father always says. For years he has said, “ We all have a reason, or numerous reasons for every single thing that we do. Every thought that we have. And every word that we say”. So, college is obviously included into my father’s educational statements. He was right then again. Depending on the person, one may have one or a multitude of reasons for pursuing a higher education. Eg. college, vocational, trade or internship. Some people’s motivation is to party. Some people’s is for academics and to be more educated in their field. Or perhaps it is simply because they are forced to by their family or peer pressured. Pursuing a higher education was something I knew I was going to do from a young age. Reason number one, because I realized that the trades were not my cup of tea. So trade schools were out. Reason number two: as a college education being encouraged by my family; as they never got to do so. I want to go out of gratitude to them. Whether it was because they never even finished middle or high school, living in poverty, and/or trying to survive in a new country without knowing the language. Even when available, the women in my family were never encouraged. As it was seen as useless. As a waste. A women’s place is simpler, less intellectually challenging etc. because that is all a women is capable of. So, a higher education was not apart of “ a women’s place in this world”. Her place is to get married and stay home to take care of the children. Though, I do respect any person who chooses that role, I believe that it is not the only place my sex belongs in. This paired with reason number three: my inquisitive and curious mind yearning for more. Wanting for my entire day to be filled with my AP Biology class. To learn more. To go deeper. I want that knowledge. I want this this to be my life. So, the reasoning for my person ? Simple. To be more fully educated and trained in my field, as well as wanting to go for all of the women in my family (such as my mother, aunts and cousins) who were not encouraged and seen as less than their male counterparts. For those who were denied such opportunities that they deserved.

My main goal in life is to be the person I wish I had. Or even if I did, be that person to someone else. Perhaps that is why I want to continue my studies in psychology. To fulfill that goal. Living with depression for years and multiple anxiety disorders has made life, as times, debilitating. Making life seem meaningless, but not exactly wanting to die because your anxiety is too scared even if your depression has given up on life. Through my journey, I have racked my brain around the question of “ Why?” What is wrong in my brain to cause this? Why? What are the causes and effects? So I would research and research and research. The chemical causes, the genetic causes, the environmental causes and effects of mental disorders as well as how to heal. I would take this information and try to help my own journey. But I truly wanted to help others in the same/ similar place. Just as my own therapist and psychiatrist have done for me. Even if we feel alone, we really aren’t. If we help each other and put more efforts in mental health and psychology, then we can finally heal both ourselves and each others in this mental health crisis.

The excitement of solving the problem. Each step adrenaline rushing. I get so focused and excited. Like a puzzle to solve. I feel my brain’s wheels turning. As I go through each step. To finally get to an answer and feel such accomplishment. Ever since elementary school, I felt as if the maths clicked in my brain. I would ask my teachers for extra work/credit, in response to their puzzled looks (as I didn’t need the extra points) I would respond that it is simply for my enjoyment. To answer your question, I love math because it simply makes me happy. Every new way, new strategy, new lesson, another way to complete more problems.

The sciences have been a large interest for me ever since middle school. There was always a thrill, a love. I took as many science based electives and classes as possible in high school to get as much science as I could reach. Finally, last year, my junior year, I took Advanced Placement Biology. This is the class that solidified my love for both the sciences and biology. I could never get nor learn enough. I wanted to learn more. I wanted my whole school day to be filled with that class. I found myself watching, reading and learning more about the biological sciences and careers in that field for enjoyment. That is when I realized that this is what I want to put my life towards. This is what I want to study. I want to know; to learn more. I realize now that once I was introduced to the sciences, I was hooked. I was hooked for life.

The sciences have been a large interest for me ever since middle school. There was always a thrill, a love. I took as many science based electives and classes as possible in high school to get as much science as I could reach. Finally, last year, my junior year, I took Advanced Placement Biology. This is the class that solidified my love for both the sciences and biology. I could never get nor learn enough. I wanted to learn more. I wanted my whole school day to be filled with that class. I found myself watching, reading and learning more about the biological sciences and careers in that field for enjoyment. That is when I realized that this is what I want to put my life towards. This is what I want to study. I want to know; to learn more. I realize now that once I was introduced to the sciences, I was hooked. I was hooked for life.