I've had to dwell on this question for a few weeks before I was prepared to answer it; not only for the purposes of this essay, but for my own life direction as well. My conclusion: I can help my community the most now, by striving in small ways to grow personally and to serve others daily. Due to the irreparable fact that I am human, I am innately inclined to serve myself and seek comfort for myself over the interests of other people. This can hurt my community, especially the community closest to me. Example: an easy way to show love and gratitude to my dad is to keep my room tidy and bed made when I visit home. It's a small thing to me, but he cares about it - and yet I have failed many times. My family is my most immediate community, and I stumble over making my bed. Thankfully, I am growing. Step-by-step, but still growth. I find inspiration in Galatians 6:9, "Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up." The author Paul is referring to the afterlife as "the proper time," yet in our current lifetime there is a harvest of the investments we make in doing good. I do now make my bed (most days), I take more time to talk with my mother, I put away distractions, and listen closer to my peers at work. Just like physical training, I can one day accomplish great things for my community - things that would daunt me now - if I continue to exercise giving myself up daily in the service of others. I reap the emotional and physical benefits of doing good, and the process compounds itself. At work, I noticed that I can pick up and spread gossip when I don't have all the facts. I have reacted by being slower to speak, and more eager to listen. Having the right facts has tangibly helped me professionally. This encourages me, and spurs me forward. That's my plan, to continue to grow. Nothing life throws my way can stop that. Sure, certain seasons may be slower - but the trend is upward, overall, always. I don't yet know how I can have the greatest impact on my community, nor do I know what I am destined to have to give away. But I do know that as long as I live, I do have myself - and I can give that away, bit by bit each day.

After taking calculus, A, B, C, and taking Differential Equations three times (and finally passing with a C!), I would like to think that I know a thing or two about the value of Calculus. After all, I persevered with it for six straight semesters. In my field - Chemical Engineering - calculus enables us to solve problems that would otherwise be tedious or impossible. My professors have taught us to use calculus to solve the heat flux on a metal plate, the thermal expansion of a gas, the moment of a force around a point, and illustrated many more natural relationships that are best represented with differential - and not algebraic - equations. The core of why calculus is valuable is the fact that it models nature. Let's not forget that before the term "science" was coined, the field was called "natural philosophy". Indeed, the full title of Newton's illustrious 'Principia' is 'Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica', or 'The Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy' in English. Calculus is a product of human progression in understanding the world we live in, and continues to facilitate discovery and innovation in STEM fields. In one example of innovation in the field of Chemical Engineering, the calculus used to model reaction kinetics was creatively applied to the COVID-19 pandemic to understand the spread of the virus. Dr. James Baird, a professor at my university (UAH), worked on that project and I was fortunate to sit in his lecture about it. According to Dr. Baird, "...an autocatalytic reaction is completely analogous to the spread of an infectious disease,” (from an article on UAH's Chemistry Department news feed, https://www.uah.edu/science/departments/chemistry/chemistry-news/17274-uah-developed-public-health-tool-predicts-effects-of-a-pandemic-and-mitigation-efforts). The model Dr. Baird and the co-author, Dr. Barlow created expanded upon previous work on mathematically describing infections, but was able to more accurately and succinctly model the outcomes of an epidemic. Their new model can predict the populations of vulnerable, infected, and recovered individuals in addition to modeling the mathematical conditions necessary for the infection to die out. I can't pretend to fully understand the math involved in Dr. Baird and Dr. Barlow's work, but I can be fascinated and inspired by it. If I could deny the usefulness of calculus, I would have given up on it long ago. I will continue to learn (slowly) to love calculus in my upcoming courses in Statics, Thermodynamics, Fluid Mechanics, and Transport Phenomena. Calculus is intrinsically tied to the fabric of the universe. Whether invented or discovered, its value is undeniable.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." From the Book of Romans, written by the Apostle Paul (written around 55-57 AD) Many may be turned off by a Bible quote (or anything religious), but I ask that you would please bear with me a moment as I explain the profound impact this has on me and the huge life implications this verse has. In my life, I have made many mistakes, wronged many people, been self-centered and callous- and so much more. I know that I will make more mistakes. As a humanr, I could choose to live with the burden of wronging others and myself, I could choose to twist the evil things I do into good, or I could try to fix what I did wrong myself. This verse promises another option- be forgiven. When those I have wronged cannot forgive me or I cannot forgive myself, I can hold to the freedom in this verse. Even if those I have wronged are gone or I simply cannot let go of the weight, God has said in His authority I will not be condemned. My heart no longer need be heavy for my misdeeds! So long as I follow Jesus - by learning what He taught, by admitting my faults, and by striving towards Jesus's example - I can trust that my mistakes will not be counted against me, in life and after death. This verse has recently carried me through a dark time wherein I deeply wronged my best friend - I had encouraged him and joined him on a self-destructive path because of my own selfishness (to spare the details). I've since seen how horrible I was, and done a total 180, but haven't seen/spoken to him in months. If I have the opportunity to speak to him again, I will apologize more genuinely than I ever have before and admit my wrongdoing. But until then, or if that day never comes, I can embrace the fact that I've admitted it and apologized to God- and He accepted my apology, even when no one else could. I see so many around me carrying so much baggage, and it breaks my heart to see them weighed down by it and wrecked by the way they deal with it. People justify their misdeeds, endure self-inflicted pain to try and atone for wrongs, fall to addiction, some take it out on others. This is not the life we are meant to live! In this verse we need not do any of those things, and this is part of why I share this quote. I have respect for all my neighbors on earth of all faiths or no faith or some faith, but this faith of forgiveness is the one that speaks to me. This is my most honest answer to the question "What quote means a lot to you?" Thanks for bearing with me :-)

Many things came out of the pandemic, and though we all lost the quantity of time with friends (and some lost friends, tragically), I experienced a deeper quality of time. The pandemic school year reduced happenstance and casual interactions with friends, and eliminated many large group interactions. The unanticipated benefit was that now interactions with friends were extremely intentional, and my group of friends was distilled into a small and intimate unit (like a family away from my family!). Being part of a friend unit refreshed me after a looooong summer cooped up with my family, and helped me as I was away. We all drew nearer, as we were open and honest with each other about our various woes and trials. Throughout the pandemic, I also experienced a growing gratitude for the times we had been able to gather in the past- in Church, in sports, informally, as friends, as a family, and in many other ways.

My pro-life position is based on my faith in Christ. As I have discovered that I myself am valued, I have learned to value all others more. I discovered that my own life is not worthless, nor purposeless, and that I myself am not only ‘a clump of cells’, but rather I am “fearfully and wonderfully made…” and I was “knit … together in my mother’s womb” (‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:13-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬). These discoveries, and all of discovering Christ, have changed my perspective and transformed me from someone who once faced inward to someone who faces outward. I was so focused on my self and wrapped up in my image and caught up in indecision that I did not care about others or stand for anything. But now, I have love overflowing from Christ that I joyfully wish to share with others. I now have firm, objective and unchanging truth that I can stand on and take confidence in. I now care deeply, about my friends and family and the world and it’s brokenness. How difficult would it be for someone who does not know their own value, nor how precious they are, to believe that anyone else is precious? The 19th century Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky is quotes as saying “If there is no God, everything is permitted.” This is not only because without God morality is defined by fickle mankind- but because without God, there is no purpose to life; we truly would only be material beings, with no greater goal than to survive and please ourselves. 20th century French absurdist author Albert Camus explored this existential worldview in depth with his novel “The Stranger”, a book which reaches its climax in the last few pages when the protagonist finds freedom in the fact that his life is meaningless- his execution will not matter, the fact that he killed someone will not matter, and the fact that he existed at all is wholly insignificant. “The Stranger” perfectly conveys the increasingly common mindset that our existence is meaningless, our actions therefore have no consequence, and life has no value (and any perceived value is a lie). It is an unintentionally confronting and scary book. Reading “The Stranger” (which I did before I had come to Christ) awoke me to the danger of a mindset lacking in objective truth and inherent value. However, this existential mindset dominates the western world and has disastrous consequences. People are utterly destroyed and abused at their most vulnerable- as unborn infants. Mothers in difficult situations are met with pressure to abort and ambivalence, instead of loving support for her and the child. As a result, the unborn children and the mothers suffer. “Mental health and abortion: review and analysis”, an admittedly dated paper by the NIH (1989), explores the “psychological trauma” women go through after an abortion and found that women who have abortions experience emotional distress and anxiety, and abortion may impact the mother’s future relationships. The APA has recently adopted a different, pro-abortion stance based on the effects being denied an abortion has on women seeking it, but remains conspicuously silent on the post-abortion effects women experience. Ultimately, the fix for abortion is in helping those who are seeking it willingly turn away decisively- and that life change requires love.

I am hoping to take my Chemical Engineering degree and use it to innovate manufacturing to create products I feel safe using and proud to share with the world. Chemical Engineering appeals to me because ChemEs are at the cross section of industry and the environment. I will have the opportunity to influence both the end product to the consumer and the end result to the environment, in a myriad of diverse industries. Food manufacturing especially appeals to me, food (and water) are intimately connected to our daily lives and both are still active frontiers. Fresh water is an issue globally, but even here in the US cities in the west and Flint are struggling to source fresh, safe water. Additionally, scientists are starting to discover residual chemicals and drugs in our wastewater that may have unknown consequences on the environment. Municipal water and wastewater treatment may not sound like the most glamorous job, but it would be a privilege to serve my community and be trusted with the careful care of such a precious resource. I also have an interest in food, my family and I have become increasingly conscious of what we choose to take into our bodies, and my studies have taught me more about the interactions chemicals have in our daily lives. Though the hard work and innovation of previous generations has made food that is more abundant and freer from extremely hazardous chemicals, there is still work to be done. Pesticides are one of the current pressing issues facing the food world as scientists balance and explore their effect on our bodies, on our environments, and on our crops. Globally, people are becoming more wary of pesticide use, and rightfully so. Glyphosate, the key ingredient in name brand pesticide RoundUp, has infamously been shown to be linked to various kinds of cancer. Pesticides, PFOAs, and long-named chemicals found in the food supply in general seem to be behind significant and rapid declines in fertility, resulting in increasing difficulty to conceive and increasing probability of complications. These same chemicals seem to be responsible for changes in the development of children, in the womb and beyond. I believe it is urgent that we fully investigate the chemicals we currently use in food production and explore better alternatives, and I would like to be part of that. I want to trust that the produce I purchase, the food I buy off the shelves, and the products I use daily do not have unknown (and un-consensual, if that's a word) effects on my body or family. As a chemical engineer, I could work directly to do that and have the opportunity to work on the production and invention of chemicals to replace those currently in use. Materials science also appeals to me, PFOAs specifically can come from cookware or a number of other coatings we encounter in our daily lives. Exploring materials that retain and expand upon the benefits of previous technology, while simultaneously eliminating negative impact to human and environmental health, is a noble and critical pursuit. I always wonder how the things I touch, how the things I smell, and how the things I clean with interact with me and my environment. Chemical engineers could also work to address the issue of waste, already innovators are exploring bamboo and bioplastics as economic alternative materials for packaging and disposable products. There is so much possibility!

Photos from a summer camp I did in High School to Colorado. I took a bus trip 1,228 miles with people I did not know for over a week. I was farther from my family for a longer amount of time than I ever had been before, and I can't describe in 100 words how far beyond my comfort zone I was. But by being bold by going, I made new friends (big for me), I had new experiences (first time on a roller coaster! first time being so open with others! ), and a new faith (life changing).

My favorite artist is Ms. Jennie Couch, a part time Studio Art professor at UAH. Ms. Jennie is extraordinarily kind, and opens her home to host students of all kinds and at all levels of art mastery. I have never had the pleasure to have her in class, but I love getting to explore art for fun (even though I'm not good at it!) and enjoy fellowship with Ms. Jennie and other kindhearted individuals. My coursework is rigorous, and I haven't yet had enough free time in a semester to take an art (yet!), but Ms. Jennie has made sure I'm not left out.

I personally am growing increasingly wary of the food I eat and the chemicals I am exposed to- especially as I continue in my chemical engineering degree. I would love to do my job well- chemical engineers often seek to manufacture more product, cheaper, and more efficiently. My personal goal is to add to that being health conscious and environmentally conscious in the products I help manufacture. Thankfully, the number of extraordinarily dangerous chemicals in daily use has fallen over time. We went from heavy daily use of asbestos, mercury, lead, formaldehyde, to safer alternatives. We've also become aware of the issues that chemicals like BPA and High Fructose Corn syrup cause and have been able to reduce their use. However, we are starting to see issues in new chemicals found in things like residual pesticides, PFOAs (found in cookware), and whatever is in vape pens (we still aren't totally sure with these street pods). These new chemicals found in plastics, coatings, and foods find their way into our bodies in many ways- especially food. They thankfully haven't been shown to cause death, but we are starting to see these chemicals interact with our bodies in new ways, notably hormones. These can affect the development of our children, our moods, our fertility. In fact, those wishing to start families have had experienced increasing difficulty producing healthy children naturally. Regardless of your stance on the world's increasing population, we can all agree that people should not have to seek expensive, invasive, risky therapies to conceive, and nor should the precious lives of all children be risked because of the chemicals we unknowingly allow into our- and their- bodies. My family has become more conscious of the food we eat and the places we source food. My mom has even seen improvement in her autoimmune disease as a result of cleaner eating and healthier living, and we all now notice the sluggishness induced by going back to the old way of eating. I have seen firsthand the huge benefit of natural food! I can personally strive to eat and cook cleanly. However, healthy living should not be kept only to those with knowledge or with the wallet to afford 'organic' foods. I am passionate about educating my friends and family, and as many people as possible about the new age of dangerous chemicals, and passionate about creating safe, economically viable alternatives. I want to see a world where people source food locally, where people have no need for 20-letter ingredients, where healthy food is affordable. What is on store shelves and in stores is automatically 'safe' from deadly substances, thanks to many years of innovation and hard work. But there is still progress to be made! Our standards for food safety should be ever increasing, and there still plenty of frontiers to explore.