Incarceration has always been a factor in my life. My mother has spent most of my childhood well into my adult life incarcerated in either saline county jail, the Newport, Or Wrightsville women’s prison. Along with my father being an addict and on the verge of incarceration I was left with my maternal grandmother. This is the first of many ways I was affected. Because my grandmother had to work I was alone a lot. I figured out everything on my own. From personal hygiene, to having an actual bank account, to buying a home. Neither of my parents were around to show me the way of the world. I didn’t have anyone that cared if I was successful, my grandmother just knew just had to take care of me but she didn’t care if she did it well. I pushed myself because I was determined to break the cycles and be a better person. When I graduated high school I didn’t have any one person in the stands. My dad was getting high that night, he admitted it to me later, my mom was incarcerated again, and my grandma refuses to drive at night. So I walked alone with no one cheering for me, no one taking pictures, nothing. When I ended up getting pregnant I only told my partner, no family, due to addiction. Because of incarceration I gave birth without my mom because she was doing a 90 day sentence in the county jail. I never got to experience a Mother’s Day outside of jail walls, and I know this a reality for many people in this country and it is heart breaking. I blame no one but my mom but I can’t help but to think of all the love and experiences I was deprived of due to incarceration. All the struggles I had to face because I only had one guardian, who was already stretched thin. I always wished I could catch a break and now maybe this is my chance.