I have suffered from depression and mental illness since I was 12 years old. At that young age you don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to get out of bed in the morning and why you have to fake a smile in front of people. Some days it’s still hard to get out of bed in the morning. I know that I have a lot of people depending on me to be successful so I just keep going. I live by a quote by Aristotle that says “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” I have so much to be passionate about like singing, dancing, acting, and college in the future. When I get to college I want to study anthropology with a minor in visual/performing acts and French, but until I get there I have my dance and my singing back home. I love dancing and singing. I even captain my dance team and I’m only a sophomore. When I dance it’s like nothing else is going on in that moment except for me and the music. All my problems, tests, homework, and even family problems disappear when I start to dance. I choose not to let my mental illness affect my day-to-day life. Even though I don’t want it to, it still does but I just push through it. It also helps that I have my therapist to help me work through the issues in my life. She told me if I'm feeling down just to remember all the things that I should be grateful for. I have my family, friends, and future goals to keep me going. Some of my goals are to attend Emory University or New York University and then study anthropology and become a world-renowned forensic anthropologist who works with the FBI. I want to be able to take care of my parents when they get older and buy a house for them to live in. They have given me so much to be grateful for and I want to do the same for them. It’s very important to me that I represent my family name. My dad and grandfather were both in the Army while my two uncles were in the Navy and Marines. They are all very important to me and I want to represent them and the rest of the family well. Living life with mental illness is very difficult when you don’t know how to cope with it. I’m still trying to get my illness under control. I can’t say that I know everything about coping with it but I know how to live and understand it. Thank you so much for your time.

Ever since I was a baby I have been in love with theater. When I was younger and I was crying my mom would put on "The Princess and The Frog" to calm me down. I was always in love with Tiana. The way she held herself up and never needed a man to help her. As I got older my love for theater got bigger and bigger. My love for theater has never changed and will never change. It has always been a safe place for me. When I was sad, happy, confused, or stressed a good movie or play was there for me. Even when I watch TV, I act out the scene of a character and pretend that I’m the actor or actress. A lot of people think it’s weird but it calms me. When Hamilton came out on Disney+ me and my family decided to watch it and I was in awe. It was like all my favorite things like acting, singing, and history all came together. I even wrote out both acts of the musical for fun. I have always dreamed of seeing my name in the light and being able to make my dreams come true. I haven’t always been able to find something to pursue my passion because my family thinks that it’s just a hobby and won’t bring me happiness. I know that that's not true because nothing else brings me the same satisfaction as getting to play a character and adding my own emotions into a scene. Even when I watch tv I add small things to scenes even though I am not on the show or movie. I add things that I believe would make the scene better or I will act it out and bring different emotions to a heartbreak scene or an angry scene. I know it’s a little silly but when I finally get on that stage and show people what I can do I want to be prepared and fake acting is the closest way to do it. Without theater, I don’t know what type of person I would be. Even though the characters are fake I still try to model myself after them. I try to be independent like Tiana, strong like Supergirl, not letting people walk all over me like Madea, and that hurt people hurt people like Maleficent. All strong women who can look out for themselves. I know that they are all fictional characters but to me they have taught me right from wrong and up from down. Those strong women help me know not to be invisible but to let everyone see the light I shine. If you choose me to be the winner of this scholarship I promise I won’t let you down.

I believe that everyone has a mental illness and they just haven’t been put in a situation for them to see it. I saw mine in December 2019 and March 2020. In October 2019 I dislocated my kneecap at cheer practice and ended my season. I was always depressed because I had to walk with crutches for 2 months and needed help just doing normal things that I could before. I even had to relearn how to work correctly. I wasn’t myself after that. Once I was starting to heal and walk again, my grandfather died. He was my best friend and I could always depend on him for everything. As I’m trying to deal with his death, Covid hits. It shuts down my school and my church, and I couldn’t go outside to get fresh air. I was stuck in a house with my parents and a 2-year-old little brother who has a speech delay. I was stuck in a place where I didn’t know who I was anymore. I felt like my body was walking and talking but my spirit and soul were stuck in my bed. I would wake up and just stare at the ceiling for hours until my mom came to get me. I even contemplated killing myself. I was in such a dark place that I felt it was the only way out. I decided that I should talk to my parents because I didn’t want to put them through more pain. When I told them about the thought they just hugged me and asked what they could do to help. I told them just to be there for me and that I needed to see a therapist. They both agreed and made me a therapy appointment 2 weeks later. I went to 2 different therapists and I finally chose which one I liked. Once I told her about my problem she gave me tips on how to cope with it. We discovered that the best way for me to get out of that dark place is music, breathing, and counting. She told me to play upbeat music to make me happy and to pull me out. If I feel like I can’t breathe she taught me the 478 rule. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7, and let it out for 8. Then if I just feel stressed and overwhelmed try counting to 10 forward and backward while breathing. I believe that those techniques saved my life. I won’t say that with therapy or drugs your depression or anxiety will go away. Once in a while, I have a bad day but I never focus on a bad day. I just keep going so that the next day is good. I will never let my depression and anxiety keep me from becoming the person I know I can be.