Much of what I want in this world is to help others. Through being a mentor to others, I hope I give them the emotional and mental support that everyone truly needs. I hope to make those who I mentor feel as if they are not alone, that they have support and they are cared about. This answer can be given frequently, as I am sure I am no different from other scholars applying for this same scholarship. But I want to explain why I personally feel obligated to make sure those I mentor feel safe and supported. I have always dealt with the extreme feeling of loneliness and hopelessness, a feeling I do not wish on anyone. So through all those feelings, I have been determined to make sure those around me do not feel the same, or at least to the extent that I feel. I have become a mentor to my peers, one to come to and look up to. I know my encouragement and kind words go far with others, but I hope that every single person I mentor feels as if they are not alone, and feel supported and cared about. I have many goals in life, short and long term. But being a mentor, and peer support is something that will last a lifetime. To me, being a mentor to others is vital as I know many people need the help I give. I genuinely hope that my actions as a mentor have and will continue to give the emotional and mental support that others desperately need.

Staying optimistic during hard times has been especially difficult for me, as I have Major Depressive Disorder, a disorder I have had since I was a mere 10 years old. Major Depressive Disorder is a crippling mental illness that often makes me feel entirely hopeless. Yet through it all, I have tried my hardest to keep an optimistic mind by making plans for my future. Planning is something I do very frequently to keep a calm and steady mind. I have been planning for my higher education future the most, along with my future with my significant other. It has truly helped me a lot and has given me something to continue to look forward to. Planning my future has given me a reason to stay alive and not let my intrusive thoughts win. While using this coping strategy, I have taught myself how to keep an optimistic mind and get through my hard times. Not only has planning helped me be more positive, but it has made me a well-prepared person, something I am very proud of. The difficulty of keeping an optimistic mindset has been with me for a long time. But I have managed to keep a stable, positive mindset through the coping strategy of planning my future. I learned more about myself through this skill and became a prepared, optimistic person.

I began earning money babysitting local children when I was in middle school. That money is far gone and was spent recklessly. Now I am almost a junior in high school, and my future in higher education is just around the corner, coming closer by the second. College is extremely expensive, and I do not have a family that is able to support me financially in higher education. So, I researched ways to save my money so I may afford to attend a university. I learned a method for teenagers that states that over 50% of the paycheck one receives goes straight into a savings bank. I talked to my Mother and opened a savings account, where I have been putting 50% or more of my paycheck into every payday. For a teenager, saving money in large amounts can be difficult, as we are notoriously known for being impulsive and reckless, especially when it comes to money. Though putting all of that money can be hard to let go of and not spend on unnecessary things, I prefer the feeling of putting away money to the panic of realizing I may not be able to pay for college if I don't save up money. When the realization of my near future arose, I learned about how to save my money and become financially capable of affording to attend a university. I also learned discipline when it comes to financing, as I have trained myself to keep the money put away, for the good of my future.

I have many goals in life, many of them academic/career goals. They are extremely important to me, and I promised myself that I would work hard to achieve these goals. My academic and career goals include my dream job as an adolescent psychiatrist, my own research on autism and personality disorders, and many more. But those two goals are my main and most important academic goals. My aspiration to become an adolescent psychiatrist comes from personal experience, which fuels my drive to achieve this goal very strongly. I want to help children combat their problems and be the help they need to better their lives. I have craved this job since I was 12 years old, and I have always known how difficult schooling to become a psychiatrist will be. But becoming a trusted and reliable helper to children will be worth every second of stress that comes from schooling. The wish of conducting my own research studies on autism and personality disorders is also fueled by personal experience. Unfortunately, I have dealt with a personality disorder my entire life and not only have I awaited proper therapy for it for a long time, but the therapy also was not very successful. I hope to discover more successful ways to help those who suffer from personality disorders. The desire to conduct research on autism stems from recent experiences in my life. Currently, I am awaiting the date to get formally tested for autism spectrum disorder. It has taken 15 years for my symptoms to be fully recognized due to my presentation as someone of the female sex. I hope that my research unveils ways to recognize autism in the female sex earlier to help the mental state of those females.

Loving myself has been difficult, especially due to my poor self-image. But, there have always been some things that I have admired about myself: my determination, ambition, and drive. I have prided myself on these qualities for as long as I can remember. My determination leads me through every single day. I have pushed through every difficult obstacle in my life while keeping my academic and social life in line. I believe that's very impressive, and honestly, I am proud of myself for it. My ambition is also something I strongly pride myself on. My high-set goals help keep me believing in myself and to continue to push through difficult times. The way I find ways to motivate myself is truly fantastic and I really admire that about myself. I enjoy it when others admire me for my qualities. I have impressed not only myself but impressed many others with my drive, ambition, and determination. These traits are the things I get complimented the most on, and the compliments about these qualities are quite frequent. These compliments make my heart swell with joy and pride, making my love for these traits and myself grow. While loving myself can be extremely difficult, I have found lovely qualities to pride myself on. Finding small qualities is just a simple step to learning to love myself more.

I have been struggling with an eating disorder since I was in elementary school. Obviously, developing such a disorder at a young age has changed a lot about me, in most ways negatively. Honestly, I still struggle with not letting myself eat or eating too much, then the inevitable guilt of eating food. This disorder has severely hurt me mentally and physically, but I know I will overcome it and help others overcome it too. I have always been a larger person due to my large hips, shoulders, and ribcage. I never truly minded it until I was made fun of for my size at a very young age. It never helped that my Mother has always been obsessed with her weight. So being a young, impressionable child, I became obsessive as well. I remember obsessively working out and looking at photoshopped women on the internet. I yearned to be as small and dainty as those photos. But alas, I was built with a wide stature, so no matter how much weight I lost, I still was wide-figured. No matter how small I got, it was never enough. My eating disorder did not just affect my weight, it affected my physical being. My hair began to thin and fall out, along with my skin always being dry and itchy. Because I barely or did not eat, I had no energy to take care of myself. I neglected basic hygiene like showering, brushing my hair and teeth, and even just getting out of bed. My teeth are yellowed and my mouth always tastes horrible. I felt overall disgusted. I am currently 15, almost 16 years old. I have gained quite a bit of weight back, as well as my hair has thickened. As much as I wish I could claim I became healthier on my own, it is simply not true. My boyfriend of two and a half years has helped me battle my eating disorder. I hate eating in front of others, but after some time, he helped me get comfortable eating with him. He encourages me to eat and is not hard on me when I give up. He tries his very hardest to make sure that what I manage to eat will give me enough energy to go through the day. This has been a great help in my journey of getting better. My journey with this illness is far from over, but this time it is by choice. I never want others to look in the mirror and feel the way I feel/felt. I have goals that I plan to educate and help others, both long-term and short-term. During my college experience, I hope to start my own research on eating disorders with other students who struggle or have struggled with them, along with possibly making a support group. I want to do as much as I can to help make sure others do not feel the pain I felt. But right now, I am only a sophomore. In the meantime, before I can go to college, I will research facts about eating disorders and ways to cope with them. I plan to continue to use my social media platforms to educate people about many disorders, including eating disorders. I have been told it has helped people, so I will continue this while I wait to go to college. Eating disorders have affected me very negatively. But I will use my experience and knowledge to help others cope with their disorders.

I study constantly, as academic achievement is very important to me. I have quite a few ways to stay focused while studying. I use some different processes to keep my motivation, depending on how my mood is. When I am simply unmotivated and unfocused, the process I follow is strict. First off, I dress in my more professional clothing, such as a sweater with a white button-up underneath, corduroy pants, and my black boots. When my brain thinks I look professional, it triggers something that makes me want my behavior to match my appearance. I then make sure my desk is clean and organized, so I am not distracted by unnecessary items. I play calming, instrumental music on my television to keep my brain in the professional persona. I make sure the logo of my dream school, Yale University, is in my view to keep me motivated. Then last but not least, I set my tree-growing study timer on my phone. This app has you set a studying timer, and as time goes by, the tree grows. But if you exit it, the tree stops growing, so it makes me not want to go surfing on my phone. I have found this method very helpful. When I am motivated, I allow myself to keep relaxing clothing on with no shoes. I still make sure my desk is clean and my study timer is set, but I do something slightly different. When I am motivated, I put on a type of youtube video called “study with me”. This type of video is just recordings of people studying, something I put on to make sure I stay motivated. But, if this method does not work well enough, I start the unfocused method that was written above. I have found both methods helpful.

There are quite a few things that drive my determination every second of every day. They all motivate me in different ways, whether it is academically, career-wise, or completely personal. All of them are extremely important to me. My past experiences have been a motivating factor since I can remember. I have gone through hard times mentally and made poor decisions that have changed me completely. Though the experiences were horrid, they made me a better person today and they shaped some of my ambitions. Previously, I have been neglected by proper and kind mental health services, something that could have prevented me from going down treacherous pathways. This has motivated my ultimate career goal: to be a psychiatrist for adolescents. I strive to become a helpful, kind mental health service provider in hopes of helping adolescents who are in the same place I was. I have grown up to value education greatly, due to the lack of education my parents received. I will be the first in my family to graduate from high school and college. This fact has made me work even harder than I believed I could. I crave to make my parents proud and become the first in my family to truly succeed in academics. I want to continue my education further than they could ever receive or afford, and make their hearts swell with pride. Though I deeply immerse myself in my academics, my mental health is something I have struggled with for my whole life. But, my little brother, my boyfriend, and my friends make me determined to better myself. A huge goal of mine is to be a better, healthier person for those of my closest loved ones.

I view our Earth as a giver, as a Mother. I believe that appreciating the Earth is just as important as being appreciative to your own Mother. I see many similarities between them. They both provide for you, they both give you life, and both have a sense of beauty that nothing and no one can compare to. I adore the natural beauty in the place I live: New Hampshire, USA. I am blessed to be able to see and admire all four seasons that the Earth provides. The vibrant, colorful leaves of the trees in autumn. The soothing, quiet snowfall of winter. The dazzling flowers from constant rainfall in the spring. Then finally, the beautiful sunshine along with the cool, indigo waters. I never take my blessing for granted, because I know how privileged I am to exist on such a heavenly planet. I try my hardest to show my appreciation for the Earth and its organisms, by limiting the activities that are harmful to the environment. I always carpool, walk or bike to reduce carbon emissions. I participate in my school's ecology club to help give back to the planet, as well as using my social media platforms to educate people about climate change and the importance of the Earth. I personally have chosen to not eat meat, and become a primary consumer of the Earth and its wonderful resources. My appreciation for the Earth does not just come from advocacy, it also comes from constantly immersing myself in nature. I love to sit and read in the lovely green grass, or simply take a walk around the pond in my neighborhood. I like to simply breathe the fresh oxygen from the trees around me and just appreciate the beauty and benefits around me.

My dreams and goals are what keep me going everyday. My goals are not limited to career and academics, they also include personal goals. Each and every one of them is extremely important to me. I have a few career and academic goals, long term, and short term. Some short-term goals are to continue to make the high honor roll every quarter and continue to challenge myself in difficult classes. I plan to take more honors, Advanced Placement (AP), and college courses to really test my intellect and prepare myself for college. I promised myself that I would try my best to graduate highschool with honors and get accepted into my top university choices. As I grow older, I have other academic goals, like completing medical school and becoming a practicing psychiatrist for adolescents. I plan to help change the mental health field with my research on personality disorders and other severe mental illnesses, like schizophrenia-related disorders and different Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders. Psychology is not the only goal I have. I hope to become fluent in Spanish and earn a seal of biliteracy. I believe that learning other languages is extremely important and beneficial. I adore learning languages, so after I master Spanish, I will start learning Mandarin Chinese. As important as academics are, my personal goals are very important. I hope to marry my boyfriend of two and a half years and grow a family with him. Our family will consist of rescue animals and fostering/adopting children. I will be financially stable and able to provide for myself and my family, as well as giving back to my community through donating and volunteering. My dreams and goals keep me pushing through life's hardships everyday, and I will keep pushing myself to ensure that I achieve them.

Mental illnesses have been a great hardship for me my entire life. They have led me to change my goals and outlook on the world. These illnesses have challenged my willpower and determination, but I have pushed through and I have become a successful person with the motivation to help others. Battling depression has shoved me to a point that I believed had no return. I had attempted suicide and have been hospitalized multiple times. During my hospitalizations, my eyes have opened and it is as if I gained a higher consciousness and knowing of those around me. I realized many people battle the very similar issues, illnesses and traumas that I have. These realizations have shaped my goals, outlooks on the way I interact with others. I have started to do many things in hopes to help people. First, I started to make sure I am kind to others. I ask simple questions that may seem pointless, but can really make people's day and make others feel cared about. I ask how their day was, how they are feeling, or compliment something about them. I learned that the littlest things go a long way with people, especially those who are struggling. I ask these questions directly, and on my social media stories. I put activities on my story that the people who view it can participate in. I ask questions like ‘what is something that made your day better or worse?’ I make a scale with the question ‘how are you feeling’ so people can think a little more about how they are feeling. I also post detailed information on different mental illnesses and ways to help themselves and others. Many people have privately messaged me saying they really appreciate my activities and posts that I post and that it has helped them. I have saved these messages because they are helping make my drive to help others grow. My drive to help not only comes from learning the experiences of others, but my own experiences. Unfortunately, I have not received very great or reliable mental health services. I have been let down and been deprived of proper help and care. I strive to be the help that I had not received. I plan to become a psychiatrist for adolescents in hopes to become the proper, reliable and kind help that I did not get. I can offer them pure kindness and understanding because I understand their pain and I genuinely want to help. I believe that I can help children from going down the horrid path I went through. I will help my future patients regulate their emotions, relationships and whatever else they require. Unfortunately, many of my relationships have perished, many due to how I have dealt with my mental illnesses. I have a history of abandonment and illnesses that make my fear of abandonment worse. In many instances, I have frightened people by my obsessiveness and clinginess. I have serious issues with regulating my emotions and fears and unfortunately, they have been large factors of the downfall in my mental health and relationships. But, I am working to improve myself and the way I handle emotions and relationships. Mental illnesses have affected my entire life. Many times it has caused my downfall, but those negative times have made me the person that I have become today. They have made me a better, understanding, and kind human being. As horrible as they have been to me, I am grateful for them in a very odd way. Without them, I most likely would not want to become a mental health service provider or have given back to my community as much as I have.

I have dealt with mental illnesses my entire life. Them and the experiences they caused me molded me into the person I am today. The illnesses I have affect my behavior and the way I handle emotions. They have caused me to do many things no one ever thought I would do, and those experiences changed my life. I started to self-harm when I was a mere 10 years old. I am not sure what drove me to it at the time, but it is an addiction I still struggle with to this day, at 15 years old. I never knew how many people did the same thing I did until I was admitted to a mental institution after I attempted suicide for the first time on October 27th 2018. I noticed almost every single person had red lines on their wrists and thighs. It dawned on me then that I am not the only one who feels that searing pain. That realization broke my heart. I never wanted anyone to even come close to the pain I felt. That realization is one of the many factors that caused me to want to work in the mental health field. My desire to work in the mental health field also changed my life. I began to study mental disorders obsessively, something that I am still doing. I began to read about warning signs for suicide or other illnesses. I quickly began to notice them in my peers, causing me to become a mini therapist for my classmates. Ever since the 7th grade, after I started to educate people on mental health, people came to me for help about their mental illnesses and their problems. This made my ambition to become a therapist grow. As I grew older, I was put on many medications and diagnosed with different disorders. Many were very wrongfully prescribed and misdiagnosed. So, I discovered other career paths in psychology that could help people more intensively, like through a proper evaluation for a diagnosis and proper evaluation for what medication may work for the patient. I discovered psychiatry and I fell in love with it. It allows me to properly help people in every way I want to. My mental illnesses did not give me a break while I was on medication though. My most crippling and life changing disorder affects all of my relationships. It is called Borderline Personality Disorder. One of the symptoms of BPD are unstable interpersonal relationships. This symptom applies to me greatly. For platonic relationships, my anger comes into play which has destroyed many of my relationships. My disorder causes me to not know how to properly handle/manage anger which has caused the downfall of many of my relationships. Romantically, I get very obsessive very quickly which causes people to run from me. I also make unnecessary, frantic attempts to make sure I am not abandoned, which has also freaked people out. But I found a person who loves me for me and we have been together for over 2 years now. He is very patient with me and helps me the best he can. But it is not always sunshine and rainbows. He has a hard time helping me during my depressive and or manic state, something that hurts our relationship. But we still get through it together. Researching more about my disorder and similar ones has made me more kind. I have been trying my best to be a helping hand to everyone around me. I had come to realize so many people suffer behind closed doors, so it is very important to be kind to everyone I see. No matter how small the act is, I try my hardest to make everyone smile. My mental illnesses have affected my life tremendously, shaping my relationships and goals in life. Though these illnesses have been cruel and have damaged my life in so many ways, I would not wish them away. They have given me a desire to help people who struggle, something I am not sure I would have pursued if I never dealt with these illnesses. They have shaped me into the open-minded and kind hearted person that I am today.

I have always had very high set goals. Ambition and determination are traits that I value the most. I believe that one without ambition and determination will not be successful. Success is what I crave from the moment I open my eyes in the morning, to the moment I close them again at night. I swore to myself that I will stop at nothing to succeed at whatever my goal may be. There was a time in my life where my ambition and determination faltered. I was withering in a hole of self-loathing where I felt that I was worthless and did not deserve the life I was given. After some time, I finally put myself together, I finally looked and realized I needed to change. I re-lit the large flame that is my determination and I have never let anyone or anything put out that fire again, not even myself. I needed to make sure that no one felt the pain I felt. At that time, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I aspire to go to Harvard or Yale to become a psychiatrist for adolescents. I grew up with crippling mental illnesses that changed my entire life. While I was struggling, I have experienced horrid mental health treatment, which could have prevented me from going down treacherous, dark paths. I aspire to become a reliable, kind mental health service provider, that of which I was deprived from. I refuse to stop my services for the mental health community at just becoming a psychiatrist. I plan to conduct research projects on different, serious mental illnesses like personality disorders, learning disabilities and schizophrenia related illnesses. It is important to learn more about illnesses so scientists can learn more about how to properly treat them and find underlying causes and similarities. It is comforting for people with the illness to know why they have it. I know that I personally am still curious of the reason for my most life changing illness; Borderline Personality Disorder. A long-time goal of mine is to publish my own piece of writing. It may be about me, an auto-biography. I hope my story will inspire others like me, who believe they are not worth it and change their mindset. I hope it will show the mental illness community that it is indeed possible to get out of the dark tunnel that they are in, that it is possible to change your life around. Hopefully, I can inspire some of the readers to pursue psychology and make the mental health services better than ever before. I will fight the horrid stigma against mental illnesses and help prevent children from feeling the pain I felt. I vow that I will change the mental health community and make the mental health field a better, kinder, open-minded place.

There are many inspirational paintings, but the piece of art that inspires me the most is Can't Help Myself by Sun Yuan and Peng Yu. When something inspires me, it usually makes me think and reflect on myself, which creates a deeper connection. Watching that machine do the same task over and over again seems pointless to the viewers, but the deeper meaning comes from the why. The title Can’t Help Myself makes me reflect on how I do many things that seem pointless to others, yet I still do it over and over because that is the way I was ‘programmed’.  I have a rocky past that causes me to have an extreme fear of abandonment. My fear drives me to make a routine of showing an excessive amount of love to keep others from abandoning me. I constantly write paragraphs, paint things, and give physical affection to those I hold dear to me. My loved ones claim that there is no need to show them an excessive amount of love, and that they know I love them dearly. But I Can't Help It.   Sometimes I am ashamed of doing things over and over that seem useless, but I realized that I find mere repetitive actions of a machine beautiful in an odd way. If I find beauty in a machine that mirrors my actions, then why must I be ashamed of my so-called ‘useless actions’. This makes my connection to this piece of art deeper.  This art piece reminds me to never be ashamed of the way I was ‘programmed’, and to never stop doing what I feel the need to do. That is why Can’t Help Myself is the piece of art that inspires me the most. 

Small pleasures bring great happiness, and a small pleasure I take the most happiness in is most likely a simple, four word phrase; I’m proud of you. I have grown up deprived of praise, something that affects me everyday. I try my hardest to make my family proud, especially through academics. My Mother dropped out of high school, which has caused her to push me very hard to be a good student. I am not sure why she never said that simple four word phrase, but the very few times I have heard it felt like euphoria. Whether I hear it from her or anyone else. But I always especially want it from an adult figure like a teacher or parent. As I grew up, I craved to also hear this phrase from my boyfriend, who says it after most of my achievements. The desire to hear this phrase makes my determination grow, which helps me thrive as a student and human being. The simple four words I’m proud of you is the small pleasure I find the most happiness in.

A major factor to living a long life is spending time with others. This may not be a common answer but I am personally fascinated with the brain, so naturally, my response is about neuroscience. A science based magazine called “Great Good Magazine”, put out a study that states that people who are socially isolated are 45% more likely to become ill. Being around people is vital to humans because we are very social creatures. We rely on each other for everything. There are many scientific explanations for why being social with others is important for our health and living a longer life. Citing the same article, it states (as many other studies have said), that not being social leads to increased amounts of stress, which leads to detrimental things not only mentally, but physically, which I have felt first hand. Studies have said that increased amounts of stress release a stress hormone that can mess with our immune system, which would decrease the amount of viruses we could fight off. Plus, the stress hormone makes us neglectful to important tasks. During my depressive state, I isolated myself from everyone I cared about. With being isolated from everyone due to stress, it pushed me to attempt to take my own life 3 years ago. This is a personal experience that made me realize how vital social interactions are to humans. I believe that the best key to living a longer, healthier life is to increase the amount of social interactions, no matter how small. I believe this because of personal experiences and scientific evidence/research.

I have read countless books in my life, but I would have to say my favorite book is Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. The protagonist Kambili is from a wealthy family in Nigeria, which may seem like the dream to have, but the family holds many dark secrets. The Father is a public figure yet very physically and mentally abusive towards his wife and kids. The Father had abandoned his ancient Nigerian culture to impress the English missionary and become heavily Catholic. His family followed in pursuit in fear, and his kids did absolutely anything to impress him. Kambili tried especially hard to impress him, which reminds me of myself. I grew up trying to do anything to impress my Mother, even if it meant doing things I did not believe in, or getting hurt. Heavily relating to a character and their actions brought a deep connection between me and this book. Adichie greatly incorporated Indigenous Nigerian culture. She used a language called Igbo in the book, along with having older characters educate the protagonists about the traditional Igbo religion. Growing up in The United States, I was never educated about any African culture, so reading this book that talked about indigenous culture was not only an eye opener, but also very fascinating. I love learning about cultures that aren't like my own. But one of the biggest reasons this is my favorite book is because the family ends up fighting back against the Fathers abuse. It took me a long time to get away from abusive people, and reading about people successfully fighting back against an abuser connects me to this book on a heartfelt level. My favorite book is Purple Hibiscus because of the showcase of culture, my relation to the protagonist, and defeating an abuser.

As I grew older, I have changed my everyday life to help save the Earth. I try to reduce carbon emissions by car-pooling everywhere, like taking the bus to and from school and being driven everywhere by friends and family. I try my best to help educate people on how our Earth is screaming for help. I do research about climate change and I have started getting involved in the ecology club at my school. I try to take short showers and mostly take a bath because of the lack of suitable water for humans to consume and bathe in. My whole life I have always had to shop at thrift stores due to my lack of money, but I found that purchasing second hand clothes and shoes is very good for the planet because of the way clothes and shoes are manufactured. I use products that are eco-friendly, like my shampoo and conditioner called love beauty & planet that is stored in completely recycled plastic. I am hoping to improve the way I live to help my wonderful mother Earth.

My entire life is influenced by my mental health. I have been getting diagnosed with different disorders and taking medication since I was 11 years old. The diagnoses that extremely affect my life are Borderline Personality Disorder, along with Major Depressive Disorder and Extreme Anxiety Disorder. I have been hospitalized many times and have attempted suicide multiple times. These experiences have shaped who I am as a person today. As a person with borderline personality, I have an unstable sense of mood, self, and relationships. I have been very clingy towards people which has caused many to run from me, so I developed a mental barrier for no one to see. Of course, I only imagined this method to apply to me. It struck a heartstring when I realized that I am not the only person masking, and the fact that others feel the same way I feel. So I started to spread awareness on my social media accounts and do intense research. Though I have developed the habit of hiding my vulnerability, there was one person who I let in after a long while: my wonderful boyfriend of 2 years and 4 months. It is not always sunshine and rainbows though. I have a very difficult time regulating my emotions and I get angry very quickly, but he is always patient with me. He has stayed when I have been difficult, and I hope to help people with mental illnesses make the realization that the right person will help you get better and not run when things get hard. I wish to save others the way that he saved me, and make them feel like a normal human being. As my mind began to open, I knew exactly what I was going to do in the future; I was going to be a therapist. I want to be the reliable help I was deprived of during my darkest times. That is not my only plan. I plan to conduct my own research study about mental illnesses and hopefully help fund a new mental institution. The ultimate achievement of all of those goals is to bring light and educate people on mental illness and be the mental health service to help people who feel my pain get better. I never want anyone to come close to feeling the pain that I have to survive everyday. De-stigmatizing mental illness is extremely important to me because I fear my disorders will not only come in the way of my future careers, but everyone who has similar illnesses. Mental illnesses, especially personality disorders, have a very intense stigma against them. Many of these myths consist of people with these disorders do not have empathy and are abusive. These stereotypes can be used as a weapon to harm us, which is extremely dangerous to our mental state and how people view us, something we value a lot. I believe that the research studies I plan to conduct will contradict those stereotypes. We are not dangerous, we are simply humans whose brains don't react and function the way that is seen as normal. Although my mental illnesses have been a huge burden in my life, I have strived to get better, something that is extremely difficult. I have managed to not let my illnesses define me, but let them shape me into an understanding and open-minded person who wants to dedicate their life to helping others who are struggling the way they did.

A very large part of providing help to those who struggle is reliable mental health services, like mental institutions. I can vouch for this due to my own recent experience. I was extremely suicidal in September and needed emergency services. I was brought to an emergency room a few towns over where I was forced to wait in a waiting room while I was sobbing and having a breakdown. I sat there for 3 hours with no help until my Mother brought me home. I then went to the regional hospital in my city, where I had a bed in a busy hallway for 4 days, then moved into a small room 3 days later. I sat there waiting for admission into a short-term mental institution for an entire week, with no counseling or help. It broke my heart to think that I am not the only one who has to wait for an extreme mental emergency, where I received no help for an entire week. Two months have passed since then and my feelings towards this situation are still screaming for me to do something. When I get my degree and start making money, I will do more about this problem, more than just spread awareness. Making reliable resources available will benefit our community and keep our citizens safe and alive.