My earliest memories of abuse occurred at age six, as I remember my mother throwing me on her bed and smothering my face with a pillow, sitting on it to stop my crying. In first grade, I was doing my homework and could not correctly pronounce the title of a Berstein Bears book as I was stuck on the word "their”. With every mispronunciation I was beat with the wooden spoon my mother was cooking with. She only stopped after realizing she had given me a black eye. At age 9 my mother took my younger sister and I to Disney World with our stepdad. I remember playing with my sister in the backseat on the drive home, and as soon as we got home my mother sent me to my room and had me take my clothes off and lay face-down on my bed. She beat me with a belt to the point where I told myself that Jesus was whipped, and if he could do it so could I. By the time she was finished I had blood running down my back as she sent me to go clean myself up.
At age 13 I dreaded summer vacations, or any off days from school because I knew I would be stuck at home. There was a lock on the fridge so food was not always accessible, and I had to eat scraps from the trash can to ease my hunger when my mother left the house. At age 15 I was a very defiant teenager running away from home trying to get myself thrown into jail to escape the unfortunate hell I was born into. Social services eventually got involved and I was court-ordered to go live with my grandparents. I was kicked out once I turned 18.
I lived out of my car until an old high school boyfriend offered to let me stay with him. I never left, we got married a year later, and he began to beat me consistently for the next two years we were married. I stayed with him because I couldn’t financially support myself and a part of me felt like that was the only love I deserved.
At a very young age I was abused physically, emotionally, and later abused sexually. I suffered extreme PTSD to the point where I became mute as a child, and have continued to suffer from PTSD, depression, and anxiety well into my adulthood. I self-medicated and became a well-functioning alcoholic for many years. Today I'm 26 years old, one year sober, and am striving for goals that would have never been reachable without putting my mental health first.
At age 19 I joined the Air National Guard as a C-130 aircraft mechanic. I eventually earned a full-time job with my guard unit and divorced my abusive husband, gaining financial independence. Since then, I’ve earned numerous awards through the military, became the first female aircraft mechanic within my unit, and became part of the 3% of female A&P-rated aircraft mechanics across the country. I now build engines for GE Aerospace and have been attending school full-time to complete my bachelor's degree.
Although my experiences were horrific, I wouldn’t replace them for the world because I learned so much about life and values through my trauma. I am the strongest version of myself because of my past with gained perspective and empathy for others. I came to recognize how important it is to manage your mental health as opposed to pushing away your feelings and relying on alcohol as I did for so many years.
Putting my mental health first has brought me closer to God, has allowed me to forgive those who caused my trauma, and allowed me to start pushing to be the very best version of myself. Although I spent years as a functioning alcoholic, I didn't start managing my mental health until I earned my job with GE Aerospace and completely moved states, essentially starting completely over. I stopped drinking completely, started going to therapy, and realized that I had a whole life ahead of me that wasn't filled with sadness and grasping onto the events that happened to me. I no longer relive my horrific childhood, I no longer drink myself to sleep at night, and instead I’m living. Managing my mental health was the greatest gift I could have given myself, and I’m forever grateful that I was strong enough to endure my trauma so I could continue working towards a better future.
Today I'm continuing to work hard to progress my hard-earned career in aviation while pushing to support mental health efforts. I try putting my traumatic experiences to good use by using my experiences to help other women at a local addiction recovery center. I also raise annual funds for the Angel Tree, donating over $1,500 worth of toys to sponsor children in need during the holidays. My experiences have given me a strong sense of responsibility and the urge to put good into the world and spread kindness as you never know what someone else is going through.
At 14 years old I remember waking up every single morning wishing I was dead and wondering why I was still alive, and today I know why. Today I am grateful for the experiences I lived, my sobriety, and my feat in managing my mental health so I could not only better myself but put more good into the world.