Beep! Beep! Beep! It’s another Monday morning, and your 8:30 alarm goes off alerting you that you have 30 minutes to get to class. It’s okay though, the professors don’t mind if you’re late. It’s college after all; they don’t hone you down like teachers did in high school. The problem is, it’s one of those mornings. You stayed up longer than you should have the night before, and you’ve completed none of the assignments that were due at 11:59. Not to mention, you genuinely don’t have the energy to get out of bed. You sigh and email your professors about taking a mental health day, but this isn’t the first or last time this will happen to you during this semester alone. It’s a cycle.
When those mornings happen, it’s hard for me to feel happy, grateful, or satisfied with myself about any of my actions or thoughts. There’s a negative cloud that tends to follow me around for the week, attracting any bad luck towards me. For instance, when walking to class, it would be storming, and on the corner of a crosswalk, a speeding car would splash water all over me. Perfect. In this moment, I’d believe God was punishing me for the heathen activities I would participate in on Sunday nights instead of going to church. Another notable experience is overthinking about my appearance. I started to nitpick at everything I believed was wrong with my body and proceeded to shame myself for it. I mentally punished myself for no exact reason, all because of a small mistake I made the previous night before. Even when I attend my classes in college, I begin to second guess myself. Is this the right career path? What if I'm making the wrong choice right now, and I regret it in the future? What if my mom was right, and I should've been a nurse like her? Sometimes, I get so scared, I start to have these silent panic attacks where I freak out in my mind, but on the outside, I appear to be calm. It gets harmful.
Even when my days get difficult, I still try to prioritize myself by decompressing and finding moments of peace throughout the day. Especially when my mental health deteriorates in class, I listen to my favorite music to uplift my spirits. Calm and collected artists like Tyler, the Creator, Smino, and Frank Ocean bring me at ease because of their soothing music. It genuinely fulfills my soul when it’s needed the most. They tend to remind listeners, like me, that we are everything we put our minds to. It reminds me that I’m worthy, beautiful, and sophisticated. Even when I make mistakes, I still have the ability to make corrections and grow from it instead of repeating them. At the same time, I find that the time I take to pray helps me calm down from the anxiety attacks. Reminding myself to take it one day at a time truthfully puts my mind at ease.
Every person’s battle with mental health is different, but we all manage to find our ways to be happy. Instead of allowing our negative thoughts to be consumed, it’s best to find positive ways to work through them. Music and self-love have always been my medicine, and I encourage others to find their same coping mechanisms.