The most challenging aspect of being a solo parent (a single parent without a coparent) and medical student is the time sacrificed away from my children, working to financially support us while completing my education. Two years ago, we made the transition out of domestic violence and I worked hard to be accepted to medical school. At that time, my sons were one and four years old, and it made for very long days caring for an infant and preschooler and then staying up late after they had gone to bed to study. Now, they are four and six years old, and while they are a little bit more independent, each stage comes with new blessings and new challenges. For example, they are more talkative and interactive now, and need lots of my attention to thrive! They are also more aware that their mom is in school, and ask lots of great questions about what I am studying to be, and give me encouragement about all the kids I am going to help as a pediatrician. This scholarship would help us by allowing us to remain in safe housing and in a good school district where my boys can have access to educational supports and activities. It would mean not having to rely so much on domestic violence shelters and food banks. It would also mean more time together because I would not have to work so many hours to cover our basic needs. Student loans do not cover any additional living expenses for dependents, so I work a lot to make sure they always have everything they need to be cared for, safe, and happy. A few less hours working means a few more hours doing things we love together. Here are some of the things we enjoy doing together: reading, going to the park, making up scavenger hunts together, swimming, arts and crafts, cooking and baking. Reading is one of our favorite activities and last year we read over 1,000 books! My six-year-old’s favorite books are Nancy Drew mysteries, and we like to read them and then make up our own mystery scavenger hunts. My number one reason for going to school is to make life better for them and provide us with a strong foundation so that they can be happy and healthy. It has not been easy and we have faced many headwinds, between the legal process of leaving domestic violence and the financial realities of being a single mother. We always feel incredibly lucky to have each other and are an even closer and more loving family for everything that we have been through together. I am currently a little more than halfway through my medical degree, and look forward to giving back when I am in a position to be able to. I am studying to be a pediatric critical care medicine physician, which is an intensive care doctor who takes care of the sickest children. It is my dream to practice medicine in my community and provide free healthcare clinics as often as possible. I believe that every child should be able to get the healthcare they need, and ability to afford that care should never be a barrier. I am applying for this scholarship because I want to complete my education so that I can provide a bright future for my children and others. I am training to be a helper in my community. It is my goal to give back in full measure everything that has been invested in me, and I am grateful for the amazing opportunity to train as a physician as a single mom. It is not lost on me how rare that is. I am proud of how far we have come and proud of the example I am setting for my children. Everything I do is with their wellbeing and future in mind.

Breast health education is important to me for many reasons. First, as a woman in medicine, I recognize that women’s health issues have been historically minimized and neglected. Women are more likely to have their health concerns and pain dismissed and under-investigated. Too often, medical education models have viewed men as the default sex, and concerns affecting predominantly women have been relegated to footnotes and small, niche research labs. To care about women’s health is to care about breast health; they are inextricably intertwined. Secondly, on a more personal level, I come from a family that has been deeply affected by breast cancer and breast health issues. All of my first-degree female relatives have had breast cancer—most under the age of 40. Both of my grandmothers had breast cancer and succumbed to it. My mother had had two different forms of breast cancer in two different decades of life. I have had precancerous breast changes at least since I was sixteen years old. We are living intimately with this disease, even though we do not have an inheritance pattern of any identified oncogene. The first time my mother became sick with cancer, I was eleven years old, and my interest in medicine blossomed at that time. I had already been interested in the scientific and occupational aspect of medicine for as long as I could remember, preferring to role play as a doctor in my toddlerhood imagination games, but when my mother became sick, it was the first time that I allowed myself to try on the empathetic and caregiving aspect of it. I was her encourager, her emotional support system, her companion to appointments, her chef for healthy meals, her navigator around the hospital, her exercise companion, her comforter and confidante. I audited a medical terminology night class at the local community college with her so we could learn the terms together, and practiced flashcards with her for memorization. This was something that she wanted to do for her own peace of mind, and I was right alongside for the journey. When it came time for chemotherapy, I spent hours listening to her pore over the wig catalogue, going back and forth about which one to get and cheering her up when the one she wanted was not covered by insurance. It was during this bout that I learned the human aspects of medicine. She ultimately recovered, and it was during this time of relative wellness in my mother’s health journey that my paternal grandmother died from this horrible disease when I was thirteen, followed by my maternal grandmother only six years later. And then— during the early Covid pandemic response, the unthinkable— my mother had relapsed with cancer. This time, triple negative Stage 3b, genetically distinct from her first episode. Once again, I put everything on hold to help tend to her. It was a tough climb for her, but she is now cancer free, with no detectable cancer by cell fragment analysis or imaging. With that behind us again, I matriculated to medical school. I am dedicated and determined that this terrible affliction must be eradicated. Too many people are dying and living with debilitating effects and breast cancer remains the leading cancer diagnosis among women even despite the significant progress made in recent years. I would use this scholarship to complete my medical degree and work toward a lactation certification. Lactation is not only good for infants, but also for birthing people. I was able to breastfeed my sons for 4 1/2 years and I consider it an incredible gift. It is true that breastfeeding has benefits for infant immunity and saves money, but the aspect I appreciated the most about it was knowing that it decreased my lifetime risk of breast cancer. None of the women in my family had the opportunity to breastfeed, so it was not lost on me what a deeply privileged position I held and how lucky I was. I want to help other birthing people to have access to those same experiences. Finally, I want to provide inclusive healthcare for lactating people. It can be difficult to find informed and inclusive providers, who are passionate and affirming of all gender identities and expressions. Everyone deserves lactation and healthcare support that is supportive and inclusive. Nonbinary and trans people deserve to be surrounded with support from the medical community. I am committed to being that support. Breast issues, including breast cancer and other breast diseases, affect a wide variety of people, and that means it is going to require a wide variety of people working together to find answers. I am excited to be a part of that effort, and I thank you for allowing me to share my story and purpose with you.

Being a single mother is challenging under the best of circumstances, but it is extremely difficult in medical school. The hours are long, and finding a balance takes persistence— especially as a solo parent. I matriculated to medical school two years ago, when my sons were one and four years old. My marriage was ending; I had taken the steps to leave domestic violence and knew that that would entail parenting my boys by myself. Life was going to look different for us. There was going to be an inevitable period of rebuilding. I decided that, if we were going to be in a season of rebuilding, we may as well go all in with it and construct a beautiful life together where we could not only have financial stability but personal fulfillment as well. Parents are the strongest developmental role models that a child has, and it was imperative to me to model to my sons that we do not let our circumstances define us or make us small. Rather, we rise above them and pursue joy, we invest in ourselves through education, and we cultivate a village where we didn’t used to have one. Some of the challenges we have faced include judgments from others about the role of single mothers and who should be able to go to school, financial challenges, ongoing custody court distractions, and societal notions about single mothers’ commitment level and capability in the educational setting. I have had many people, including family members, attempt to dissuade me from furthering my education, citing that single mothers should be focused on working or seeking a husband. Many do not see single mothers as being “worthy” of education, and feel their role should be limited to caretaking of their children. Others have told me that I should wait until my sons are adults to further my education. I feel, though, that witnessing their parent prioritizing education is a positive message for my children. I hope that they will take opportunities to learn and grow, too. Affording life is also difficult. My family falls through the cracks for many forms of assistance. I am owed tens of thousands of dollars in court-assessed child support, but have not received any child care support payments since I left almost three years ago. I work while in medical school, which is a challenging feat. I struggle month-by-month, but we are making it. Financial fears are one of the biggest stressors in my daily life. I work hard to provide stability for us, but working so much is, in itself, a stressor because it means time away from my sons. Still, I always set aside time each day to read with them and talk about their day. Another, sometimes hidden, difficulty of being a single mother in higher education is the position of relative vulnerability. I have meager resources and no extra money. My ex-husband has brought me back to custody court over 75 times in three years. Each time, I have had to learn how to protect myself legally the best that I can without an attorney because all of my earnings go toward tuition and basic expenses of living for myself and my children. It is incredibly scary to contemplate what may happen to us if the protective order is ever canceled. It is an always-present worry, but I still focus on finishing school on time and with good grades. I have also channeled my experience into helping others, by developing domestic violence education resources for physicians and healthcare workers. I am determined to create something positive out of this experience, and not allow it to define me. Finally, one more challenge of being a single mother in college is tolerating others’ preconceived ideas about what I will be able to achieve. Many believe that being a good parent and being a good student are mutually exclusive. They think I will not have enough energy or commitment to complete my studies. For that reason, I am even more determined to blaze a trail so others can follow. I have a little over a year left, and hope my story can help inspire other single moms who come after me.

What I find most challenging about being a single parent in medical school is striking the balance between my studies and spending plenty of quality time with my children. While many single parents have the benefit of co-parenting with a former partner at least part of the time, I am my children's sole parent and exclusive provider. I am attending medical school and training to be a physician with the knowledge that my eventual career will create enhanced financial security for us and with the guiding philosophy that it is important for my children to see me succeeding in education and pursuing bettering myself despite challenges. However, it is not without sacrifice and difficulty. I see this scholarship helping us by providing a desperately-needed financial lifeline so that I can focus on studies with less worry about covering essential basics and making tuition payments. Each less hour spent on working to meet financial obligations is time that I can devote to them, playing, reading, and bonding. We have had to rebuild our family life after leaving domestic violence last year, which was both financially expensive and emotionally draining. Despite that adversity, the children are thriving, safe, happy, and resilient. They have made new friends and community in their school, and we are looking forward to the day that I start medical school in August. This will be a very special day for us as we each mark big milestones on the same day: my oldest child starting Kindergarten, my youngest son starting preschool, and me beginning medical school. Aside from my own passion for medicine, based in a love of science and a lifelong penchant for problem-solving combined with the desire to serve others, I am excited about the stability that this career can afford me and my children. I feel confident that once I have my medical degree in hand, I will be able to provide a secure life for us, including earning enough money to one day pay for their educations in turn. It is difficult to be a single parent and many times I have sacrificed meeting my own basic needs to ensure that my children have access to enrichment opportunities such as swim lessons and attending friends' birthday parties. I dream of a day when I am settled in my career and no longer feel stress and dread when the bills are due. I dream of my children having all of the same opportunities to grow into educated and well-rounded individuals that children growing up in dual-parent households can take for granted. With these funds, I can complete my degree and show my children that despite difficult circumstances, what we can dream we can achieve, as long as we are willing to work hard for it and remain adaptive. My children are the most important thing in my life and I am doing this just as much for them as for myself and my community. It has not been easy to leave family violence, navigate the family court system, keep my children safe, and attune to all of their needs (physical, health, emotional, social, spiritual, educational, and developmental) by myself. However, it is an honor to be their mother and I hope that I make them proud by prioritizing my education. I cannot wait to see their faces when I walk across the stage after earning my white coat.