Living with a chronic medical condition has forced me to rewrite the blueprint of my life. It’s like building a house on shifting ground, you learn quickly that some days you can lay bricks, and other days you have to stop and wait for the storm to pass. Some mornings I wake up ready to tackle my goals and other days, my body reminds me that it has its own agenda. And in those moments, the simple act of showing up becomes my greatest accomplishment. Before my diagnosis, I was the person who thrived on overcommitment, taking on more than I should and still getting it all done. I wore exhaustion like a badge of honor, certain that speed and productivity defined my worth. My condition stripped that illusion away. Now I understand that slowing down is not failure…it’s strategy. I’ve learned to measure my life in perseverance, not on how many things I’ve accomplished in one day, or week, or even year. It hasn’t been easy. There are moments of frustration, moments when my plans are derailed, and moments when I feel the weight of missed opportunities. But I’ve also gained something invaluable: perspective. I’ve come to understand that everyone carries battles you can’t see, and that resilience is built in the quiet and unglamorous work of trying again after each setback. What inspires me to excel, even within my limitations, is the knowledge that my story could light the path for someone else. I know what it’s like to feel invisible in your struggle, and I know how much it matters when someone truly sees you. That’s why my dream of becoming a high school environmental science teacher is more than a career goal, it’s a mission. I want my classroom to be a place where curiosity is sparked, but also where humanity is honored. I want my students to leave knowing they are capable of more than they realize, and that challenges, whether seen or unseen, do not have to define their future. I hope to use my experiences to teach more than science. I want to teach self-advocacy, resilience, and the importance of treating others with empathy. If I can help even one student believe in themselves during a hard season, I will have made an impact worth all the effort it took to get here. This condition may set limits on my body, but it will never limit my purpose. And every time I choose to move forward despite it, I prove to myself and to others that it is possible to build a meaningful, powerful life on even the most unpredictable ground.

I have lost multiple close friends, and most recently a family member, my cousin Wells, to suicide. Among those losses was Izzy, the person I admired most and my best friend. I was the last person to see her alive, the last person to hear her voice. I was supposed to be with her the day she took her life. For years, I carried the crushing belief that I had failed her, that if I had just done something differently...if I had been better...she might still be here. That guilt didn’t just weigh on me, it became part of who I was and how I interacted with other people. People around me continued to pass, some from suicide, others from different causes, each loss added weight to the grief I was already carrying. At the same time, a constant cycle of abusive and toxic relationships reinforced a false narrative that I continued to tell myself; I wasn’t good enough. Financial pressures mounted, deepening my instability, and I found myself discouraged from pursuing the career I truly wanted. I felt stuck, as though my world was closing in instead of opening up. Over time, the combination of grief, toxic dynamics, and life’s mounting hardships pushed me toward addiction. I turned to alcohol and drugs, not to chase a high, but to silence the pain, because feeling nothing felt easier than feeling everything. It wasn’t until I reached my lowest point, when I felt the same darkness Izzy must have felt, that something shifted. In that moment, I realized with painful clarity that it wasn’t anyone’s fault, not mine, not hers, not anyone’s. When someone reaches that place, it’s not about a single event or person, it’s about an unbearable pain that drowns out every other voice…no matter how much love surrounds them. Understanding that, allowed me to finally let go of the guilt I had been carrying for so long. That understanding came with a terrifying truth: I, too, wanted to die. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, only darkness. And yet, something inside me kept me alive, maybe the smallest flicker of hope, maybe the stubbornness that’s always been part of me, and maybe the knowledge of what it would mean to pass the same guilt and darkness Izzy’s death brought me, on to someone else. I could not bear the thought of leaving someone I loved to carry the same weight I had carried for years. That’s when I chose to fight for my life. I went to rehab, relapsed more than once, and eventually found lasting sobriety. Recovery has taught me that healing is not a straight path, and mental health is not something you 'fix' and leave behind, it’s something you commit to nurturing every single day. My journey, and the effort it takes to stay ahead of my mental health, is ongoing. I’m currently enrolled in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, dedicating three hours each week to strengthening my coping skills and emotional resilience. I'm now following the dream I once felt too discouraged to pursue, becoming a high school environmental science teacher. This dream is now at the forefront of my life. I want to do more than teach my subject, I want to be the kind of trusted adult who notices when a student is struggling. I envision creating a classroom where students feel safe to speak about their challenges without fear of judgment, a place where they know they are seen, valued, and never alone. I’ve learned to speak openly about mental health, even when it’s uncomfortable, because silence only deepens the stigma that keeps people suffering in the dark. Most importantly, I now understand that every person is carrying battles we can’t see. I survived the darkness, and now I want to be a reminder that light can return, even if you can’t see it yet. Check on your strong friends.

To me, resilience is the quiet but stubborn choice to keep moving forward even when life makes it easier to stop. It’s not about being unshakable, but about bending without breaking, adapting without giving up, and showing up for yourself even when the weight feels too heavy. Being diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) has brought challenges I never could have imagined, from emergency surgeries and countless ER visits to major life changes that forced me to adapt in ways I never expected. Both conditions require constant management and come with unpredictable symptoms, making every day a careful balancing act between my health, things I need to do, and my education. Some mornings I wake up feeling almost normal; other days, my body feels heavy and uncooperative. Every day is like a box of chocolates, I never really know what I’m going to get. One of the hardest lessons my illnesses have forced me to learn is how to slow down. I used to live a “go, go, go” lifestyle, constantly stacking responsibilities on my plate and somehow managing to get it all done. I thrived under pressure, prided myself on never saying no, and wore my business like a badge of honor. Now, there are days when completing one small task feels like climbing a mountain. I’ve had to learn that rest is not weakness, that my worth isn’t tied to productivity, and that sometimes the bravest thing I can do is listen to my body and honor its limits. It’s humbling, but it has also given me patience, perspective, and a deep well of self-compassion. Resilience also means adapting when things don’t go as planned. Flare-ups have derailed my schedule, forced me to withdraw from events, and slowed my academic pace. Instead of letting these moments break me, I’ve learned to communicate openly with professors, find creative solutions, and keep my long-term goals in sight. To become a high school environmental science teacher is my biggest goal. My illnesses have given me a deeper understanding of empathy, patience, and determination, all qualities that will make me a better educator and mentor. I want my students to see, through my example, that even in the face of difficult, unchosen challenges, they can still build a future worth fighting for. For me, resilience isn’t pretending everything is fine, it’s facing the hard days head-on and moving forward anyway. My illnesses don’t define me. My determination does.

Recovery, to me, means life. I checked myself into rehab in 2020 after years of struggling with alcohol and cocaine addiction. I used these substances to escape the pain and grief I didn’t know how to process. Rehab was the first step, but my journey was far from linear. I faced multiple relapses before finally getting sober three years ago. Those relapses taught me that recovery isn’t about perfection; it’s about persistence. Each time I fell, I learned more about myself, my triggers, and the tools I needed to stay sober. Choosing recovery meant facing my emotions head-on, rebuilding my self-worth, and finding healthier ways to cope with life’s challenges. Today, recovery is more than abstaining from substances, it’s a daily commitment to living with integrity, practicing self-compassion, and showing up for myself and the people I care about. It’s the reason I can look toward my future with hope instead of despair. If I hadn’t chosen sobriety, I know I wouldn’t be here today. Recovery gave me my life back, and I intend to spend it making a difference for others, especially those who may still be where I once was. Every sober day is a victory, and I will never take that for granted.

If I could create one mandatory class for all K–12 students, it would be a comprehensive course in behavioral and mental health. This class would not be an occasional assembly, or a short unit buried in health class, it would be an evolving program that grows alongside students from kindergarten to their senior year. Its foundation would be built on self-acceptance, kindness, and emotional regulation. In the early grades, the class would focus on teaching children the building blocks of emotional intelligence: naming their feelings, practicing empathy, and learning that kindness is a choice. We would use stories, role-playing, and group activities to show how treating others with respect creates stronger friendships, safer environments, and more opportunities for collaboration. Children would begin to understand that kindness is not weakness, it is a strength that can take them further than cruelty or indifference ever could. As students grow, the curriculum would introduce principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) adapted for their developmental level. Skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness would be taught not as clinical tools, but as essential life skills. Students would learn non-judgmental thinking and how to separate facts from assumptions. They would learn how to see situations from multiple perspectives, and how to challenge negative self-talk. The message would be clear: you are worthy exactly as you are, and you can face challenges with resilience and self-respect. In middle school, the class would begin to address self-image and peer influence more directly. Lessons would focus on self-respect, boundaries, and empowerment, encouraging students to value their individuality and to stand up for themselves and others. They would learn strategies for navigating conflict, handling rejection, and responding to criticism without losing their sense of self-worth. This stage of the curriculum would also address the influence of social media, helping students critically evaluate the images and messages they encounter online. By high school, the class would expand to include practical life preparation alongside emotional growth. Students would still practice advanced DBT skills and self-care strategies, but the focus would also shift toward equipping them for independence and adulthood. Topics would include exploring career paths, applying for scholarships and financial aid, understanding housing options, budgeting, and preparing for job interviews. The aim would be to help students leave school not only emotionally resilient, but also confident in navigating the logistical challenges of life after graduation. This course would be required every year, adapting to the developmental needs of each age group. Just as we don’t expect a one-time math lesson to last a lifetime, we shouldn’t expect a single conversation about mental health to meet a lifetime’s worth of challenges. Continuous, age-appropriate learning would allow students to internalize these skills and apply them in real time to the challenges they face. The impact of such a program would be far-reaching. Students would graduate with the ability to regulate their emotions, treat themselves and others with compassion, and approach the world with confidence and resilience. Classrooms would become more inclusive, bullying rates would decline, and students would be better prepared to face personal and professional challenges. Most importantly, students would carry these skills into their adult lives, influencing families, workplaces, and communities for generations to come. We teach children how to solve algebra equations and write essays, but far too often, we fail to teach them how to handle heartbreak, failure, or self-doubt. A course in behavioral and mental health would close that gap. It would give every student the tools to not only survive life’s difficulties, but to thrive, grow, and contribute positively to the world around them.

Money, fame, and extravagance have never mattered to me, what has always mattered is making a difference. Since childhood, my greatest goal, and my only true aspiration, has been to leave the world better than I found it. To me, community service is more than just volunteering, it is the act of recognizing a need, stepping forward without hesitation, and giving your time, skills, and heart to meet that need. It’s about seeing your community as an extension of your own home, where every act of care strengthens the whole. My service has always centered around children, because I believe the greatest long-term impact we can make is by investing in the next generation. I’ve dedicated much of my life to caring for and supporting children in my community. From my years as a preschool teacher to my current work as a nanny, I have helped children learn, grow, and feel safe during some of their most formative years. I’ve cared for children in times of transition, provided stability for families facing challenges, and worked to ensure every child I serve knows they are valued and capable. While my roles have been professional, they have always been grounded in service, meeting children’s needs goes beyond a job description and becomes a commitment from the heart. My career goal is to become a high school environmental science teacher. I see teaching as one of the purest forms of community service. In the classroom, I will do more than teach content, I will mentor, encourage, and help my students see possibilities for themselves they may not have considered. My passion for environmental science is deeply connected to my sense of service; I believe that protecting the planet and equipping young people to do the same is a direct investment in our collective future. Through my career, I plan to give back in ways that extend beyond academics. I want my students to leave my classroom not only with knowledge, but with a sense of empowerment and responsibility. I envision organizing student-led environmental projects such as school garden programs, community clean-up days, and partnerships with local conservation groups. These projects won’t just teach science; they’ll teach leadership, teamwork, and the value of giving back. My dreams extend beyond the classroom, I hope to one day foster children. I want to open my home to those who need stability, safety, and love, offering them the same guidance and encouragement I give my students. Fostering, to me, is another form of community service: it’s investing in a child’s life at a critical moment and giving them the tools and confidence to shape their own future. This dream reflects my lifelong belief that service to children is service to the whole community, because when we lift up the youngest members, we strengthen the entire foundation. Allison Thomas Swanberg’s legacy of helping students achieve their goals resonates deeply with me. Like her, I want to spend my life not just encouraging young people to dream, but to help them take action. Whether that means connecting a student with a scholarship, helping them navigate personal challenges, or simply showing up every day as a steady and supportive presence, I intend to carry her spirit of service into my own career and my own home.

My dad taught me early on to notice the little things…like spotting an Indian tear drop while rock hounding and then holding that little black rock up to the sun to see it become clear. Or how when fresh snow falls everything goes quiet and feels like the whole world has just paused. Or how the sound of aspen trees waking, in the early morning hours, is the perfect alarm clock while camping. Moments like these made me curious about the world around me and how it works. That curiosity is what led me to environmental science, and it’s the same spark I want to pass on to my future students. Right now, I’m an Environmental Science major at Metropolitan State University of Denver, working toward my secondary education teaching license so I can become a high school environmental science teacher. I’m doing this while managing chronic health issues and an ongoing financial crisis, which means every day is about balancing my education with my health and limited work hours as a nanny. It’s not easy, but I’m determined to keep going because I believe deeply in the difference I can make as an educator. Environmental science is the perfect blend of my love for the outdoors, my curiosity about how things work, and my passion for helping others learn. I want my students to feel the same sense of discovery I felt as a kid holding that tear drop up to the sun and seeing something ordinary become extraordinary. I want them to get out into the world, to collect soil samples, to see the layers in a rock and understand the story they tell, to notice how plants change with the seasons and elevation, and maybe even to fall in love with the sounds of quiet snow and waking aspens. As a woman in STEM and adversity, I’m aware of the importance of representation. I want my students to see themselves reflected in their teacher. I want them to know that curiosity, resilience, persistence, and passion matter more than where you start in life. Even now, while my health and finances are real, daily challenges, my vision for my future students keeps me moving forward. I want them to leave my classroom with confidence, curiosity, and the belief that they can take on hard things and succeed. If they carry that spark into their own lives, I’ll know that everything I’ve worked for, through every struggle, was worth it.

I don’t just want to teach…I want to change the way my students see themselves. Every role I’ve had with children, from preschool teacher to ski instructor, to current nanny, has shown me that when a child feels supported and believed in, they can achieve more than they ever imagined. For me, teaching has never been just about academics, it’s been about shaping lives, building confidence, and helping young people see the value in themselves. My path to becoming an educator has been shaped by years of serving others, both inside and outside of the classroom, and by my belief that every student deserves a teacher who sees them as a whole person. I’ve spent over a decade working with children, off and on, in different capacities and in each role, my focus has always been on connection, trust, and encouragement. Whether guiding a toddler through their first day of preschool or coaching a child down their first ski slope, I’ve learned that growth often happens when a student feels safe, supported, and believed in. I strive to be that person for every child I work with. My own life has been far from simple. I’ve faced chronic illness, personal loss, and the challenge of building a new path after overcoming addiction. These experiences taught me resilience, empathy, and the importance of second chances. These are values I intend to pass on to my students. I want them to understand that setbacks don’t define them and that their potential is not limited by their current circumstances. As a future high school environmental science teacher, I hope to give my students more than knowledge of ecosystems or geology. I want to give them a space where they feel heard, respected, and capable of success. I want them to leave my classroom with a stronger belief in their own abilities, practical skills for problem-solving, and the confidence to pursue their dreams even when obstacles arise. Ultimately, my goal as an educator is to make a lasting impact that goes far beyond test scores. I want to be the kind of teacher who stays in a student’s memory not just for the lessons I taught, but for the support I gave, the opportunities I encouraged them to take, and the belief I held in their potential. If even one student walks away from my class feeling more capable, more confident, and more inspired than when they walked in, I will consider my career, and my life, a success.

From the time I first stepped into Mrs. Yako’s environmental science classroom, I knew I was experiencing something special. Her lessons weren’t just about memorizing facts or preparing for a test, they were alive. She spoke with an enthusiasm that made even the smallest details about soil composition or water cycles feel exciting. Her PowerPoints were colorful and engaging, and her classroom felt like a place where curiosity was celebrated. We built terrariums, and mine included a hermit crab I had picked up from a kiosk at the mall. Years later, I can still picture the plants, how the countertops were lined with little creatures, and the excitement of learning new and interesting information about our planet. What stands out most is that Mrs. Yako didn’t just teach science, she modeled curiosity, patience, and a deep respect for her students. She showed me that education, when delivered with passion, can transform how someone sees the world. That experience planted a seed in me that has only grown over time: the desire to become a teacher who inspires others in the same way. Teaching, for me, is not simply a career choice, it is my heart and soul. I have spent the later portion of my life working with children, in several preschool classroom settings and as a nanny. These experiences have shown me the importance of meeting children where they are, recognizing their unique strengths, and guiding them toward their potential. My ultimate goal is to teach high school environmental science, a subject that allows me to share my love for the natural world while helping students develop critical thinking skills, environmental awareness, and a sense of responsibility for the planet they will inherit. I believe teaching is one of the most profound ways to make a lasting impact. A great teacher can spark a lifelong interest in a subject, provide stability during turbulent times, and help students see possibilities they never imagined for themselves. In a world facing urgent environmental challenges, I want to equip my students not only with knowledge but also with the confidence to become problem-solvers, innovators, and advocates for sustainable solutions. My own journey to becoming a teacher has not been without obstacles. As an adult student returning to college, I have faced financial hardships and health challenges that have forced me to balance academics with limited work hours. Yet these struggles have only strengthened my determination. I have maintained above a 3.6 GPA and was honored to be nominated and accepted into the National Society of Leadership and Success. I know firsthand the resilience it takes to keep going when the path is difficult, and I want to model that perseverance for my students. In the spirit of Marie Humphries, who believed deeply in the power of passionate educators, I hope to spend my career doing more than just teaching a curriculum. I want to inspire. I want my students to leave my classroom not only knowing how ecosystems function but also feeling empowered to protect them. I want them to remember our experiments, our discussions, and the moments when science came alive, just as I remember Mrs. Yako’s classroom. Becoming a teacher means dedicating my life to shaping the next generation of thinkers, leaders, and changemakers. It is the most meaningful contribution I can imagine making, and I am committed to it wholeheartedly.

When I think back on my life I can’t say that I’ve had it hard. I had a happy upbringing and have wonderful parents I can lean on. I lived in nice houses that were in nice areas and I had many opportunities. However, I’m just an optimistic person and when I think back, I think of all the happy times and ignore the bad ones. In reality, I was bullied throughout school, I’ve experienced sexual assault on three different occasions, the first time I experienced death was in the 10th grade…my first boyfriend passed away by an accidental gun shot to the head, the next person was only 2 years later to suicide, the next two people were to heroin overdose, and then my best friend, my sister from another mister, committed suicide by driving her car off a cliff on purpose, I was the last person to see her and the last person to speak to her…I was suppose to be with her that day. That hasn’t been the end. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of loved ones I’ve lost, almost exclusively to suicide and drug overdoses. On top of all of these things, I’ve only ever experienced toxic and abusive relationships, not once feeling valued or like I was ever good enough. Never experiencing that true love us millennials saw in all the movies. Always wishing for it, always being thrown aside like a broken toy. We all have breaking points. Around 6 years ago I met mine. I no longer cared about living, I no longer wanted to feel the pain or the guilt or the hopelessness of feeling like it’ll never get better. I started drinking more than I ever had in my life and when that wasn’t enough I added in the drugs. All I cared about was numbing out the pain. It was okay though. I was still “responsible” I had my own apartment, I had big girl jobs, I paid my bills…that’s how I justified it anyways. I felt like I was so shattered that I would never be able to be put back together again, I became a ghost, I became a shell of a human being, I wanted to die. I knew I needed help and I knew that if I did not find help and take action quickly, that the alcohol and the drugs would soon give me the courage to end my life. I started to research my options. Fortunately, I found Summit Women's Recovery center and I checked myself into their outpatient recovery program. During my time in the recovery program I learned how to love myself again. I learned about trauma, I learned about why I felt the way I did, and I learned coping mechanisms to help me through tough times. I also learned to put myself first and to set boundries. Most importantly, I learned accountability. Recovery and sobriety allowed me to address my past traumas and forgive people I never thought I could, including myself. I was able to pull myself out of a very dark hole and, instead, put myself onto a new, healthy path. I couldn't see a future for myself before, but now I can see my future, and I feel worthy of it. I wouldn't be here without recovery. I am very grateful for life. More than I ever have been before. I am just over two years sober now and very proud of myself! I’m still fighting anxiety, depression, and managing ADHD. I continue to struggle greatly with relationships, however I am slowly getting better setting boundaries, standing up for myself, and walking away from people who don’t align with my beliefs and my goals. My relationships are getting healthier, which I see as a win! I believe that life is worth fighting for and creating a purpose for myself been the best way to give my life meaning. I want to lead future generations. I want to educate and help as many children as possible. First through teaching and second through foster parenting. I want to make a difference in as many lives as I can by being a relatable, trusted, compassionate, caring, open, adult that the children, that enter my care, always feel like they can come to about anything and know that I will always do whatever I can to help them, without judgment. I know first hand that the world can be cruel and unfair. I’ve been in the dark. I’ve felt the feeling of no way out. If I can be the light to even just one human being…that will be enough, that will make my existence worth it.

When I think back on my life I can’t say that I’ve had it hard. I had a happy upbringing and have wonderful parents I can lean on. I lived in nice houses that were in nice areas and I had many opportunities. However, I’m just an optimistic person and when I think back, I think of all the happy times and ignore the bad ones. In reality, I was bullied throughout school, I’ve experienced sexual assault on three different occasions, the first time I experienced death was in the 10th grade…my first boyfriend passed away by an accidental gun shot to the head, the next person was only 2 years later to suicide, the next two people were to heroin overdose, and then my best friend, my sister from another mister drove her car off a cliff on purpose, I was the last person to see her and the last person to speak to her…I was suppose to be with her that day. That hasn’t been the end. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of loved ones I’ve lost, almost exclusively to suicide and drug overdoses. On top of all of these things, I’ve only experienced toxic and abusive relationships, not once feeling valued or like I was ever good enough. We all have breaking points. Around 6 years ago I met mine. I no longer cared about living, I no longer wanted to feel the pain or the guilt or the hopelessness of feeling like it’ll never get better. I started drinking more than I ever had in my life and when that wasn’t enough I added in the drugs. All I cared about was numbing out the pain. It was okay though. I was still “responsible” I had my own apartment, I had big girl jobs, I paid my bills…that’s how I justified it anyways. I felt like I was so shattered that I would never be able to be put back together again, I became a ghost, I became a shell of a human being, I wanted to die. I knew I needed help and I knew that if I did not find help and take action quickly, that the alcohol and the drugs would soon give me the courage to end my life. I started to research my options. Fortunately, I found Summit Women's Recovery center and I checked myself into their outpatient recovery program. During my time in the recovery program I learned how to love myself again. I learned about trauma, I learned about why I felt the way I did, and I learned coping mechanisms to help me through tough times. I also learned to put myself first and to set boundries. Most importantly, I learned accountability. Recovery and sobriety allowed me to address my past traumas and forgive people I never thought I could, including myself. I was able to pull myself out of a very dark hole and, instead, put myself onto a new, healthy path. I couldn't see a future for myself before, but now I can see my future, and I feel worthy of it. I wouldn't be here without recovery. I am very grateful for life. More than I ever have been before. I am just over two years sober now and very proud of myself! I’m still fighting anxiety, depression, and managing ADHD. I do struggle greatly with relationships, because of my past I have a difficult time trusting people and their intentions. Though I still struggle, I believe that life is worth fighting for, creating a purpose for myself is the best way to give my life meaning. The purpose I want for myself is to lead future generations. I want to educate and help as many children as possible. First through teaching and second through foster parenting. I want to make a difference in as many lives as I can by being a relatable, trusted, compassionate, caring, open, adult that the children, that enter my care, always feel like they can come to about anything and know that I will always do whatever I can to help them, without judgment.

I have a handful of hobbies, but my favorite thing to do in the whole world, is to fly down a mountain on a pair of skis. I feel free while sking, like I can do anything! When I am gliding down the side of a mountain nothing else matters other than the crisp clean air, the satisfying chill on my nose that runs down to my toes, the wind rushing through my hair, the sound of the snow crunching beneath my skis, the alpine tree lined runs, the way the sun shines on a blue bird day, and the way the whole world is silenced on a snowy day. When I'm standing at the top of the tallest peak looking over the valley and the town of wherever I am at, I feel like I can conquer anything. There is truly nothing else like it. My dad threw me on a pair of skis at the age of 3 years old, since then I have been perfecting my craft. On every ski trip he would stick me in ski lessons in the morning and then I would get to ski with him the second part of the day (which was my favorite part of the day). I can now proudly say that I can out ski my Jackson Hole dad, which is truly a feat. I'm a veryy classic by the book skier but I can probably out run you too! I go as often as I possibly can, living in the valley of Arizona makes that harder. The desert has driven me to the mountain at two points in my life. Once I moved to Bozeman, Montana, where I would ski Bridger Bowl before work every morning. The other time to Breckenridge, Colorado, where I became a ski instructor, skiing was life. If a ski bum life satisfied my urges of success I would have stayed. However, I see myself doing amazing and creative things in the beauty industry and strive to acheive greatness. I definently, at times, miss ski bum life and will continue to get to the mountain as often as I possibly can. My skis, poles, and boots wait patiently next to my front door.

My name is Shanee, I have a adorable puppy named Stevie, yes after Stevie Nicks! I like to hike, camp, and ski. I eat macaroni and cheese entirely too much and love chocolate cake more than most. I’ve been in and out of college since I graduated high school in 2011, mostly to appease my father. I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I did eventually end up getting my associates degree, for what? Im not sure, I’ve never used it or needed it, it’s never helped me in any way…except for bury me in student debt. A few years ago I fell into a very dark place and have spent the last two pulling myself out of it. I got myself the help that I needed to stand on my own two feet again. Through that struggle is when I became interested in cosmetology. I chose cosmetology because the two things, other than skiing, that make me the happiest are helping others and being creative. Cosmetology allows me to do both. Career wise, I want to continue working in the salon that I'm at now (as an intern), complete their training program, on top of beauty school, and then once I receive my license build a solid clientele' there. The people I work with at Tullia have already become family to me and I have no intention of leaving them any time soon. I am happy when I'm there and feel home when I'm with my work family. Salon wise, I would like to eventually become a color specialist and be able to transform my clients into the beautiful unicorns they strive to be. I was pretty good at chemistry after all! Plus painting is one of my passions. After I get going on hair, I'd like to expand my cosmetology license by also learning permanent makeup application and microblading. Once I recieve all the proper training and certificates I'd like to open my own little studio for tattooing. This will be my true career baby. Throughout my career I want to be a voice of encouragement and a helpful hand to those struggling with self esteem and confidence issues. Being able to help others achieve a positive self image is something I strive to do. I hope that I can spread joy and confidence to my clients. I want to show people that you can pull yourself up, dust off your shoulders, and make something of yourself, no matter your past. I am not afraid to share my story and I hope that I am able to share advice and encourage as many people as I can to follow their dreams.

My main goal for the future is to be happy and healthy. After everything I have been through, I strive to feel stable and to be stable; financially, emotionally, and physically. I'd also like if if my dog would live forever! Career wise, I want to continue working in the salon that I'm at now (as an intern), complete their training program, on top of beauty school, and then once I receive my license build a solid loyal clientele' at Tullia Salon. The people I work with at Tullia have already become family to me and I have no intention of leaving them any time soon. I am happy when I'm there and feel home when I'm around my work family. One day I would like to be a color specialist and transform my clients into the beautiful unicorns they strive to be. I was pretty good at chemistry after all! Plus painting is one of my passions. After I get going on hair, I'd like to expand my cosmetology license by also learning permanent makeup application and microblading. Once I recieve all the proper training and certificates I'd like to open my own little studio for tattooing. This will be my true career baby. Throughout my career I want to be a voice of encouragement and a helpful hand to those struggling with self esteem and confidence issues. I want to show people that you can pull yourself up, dust off your shoulders, and make something of yourself, no matter your past. I am not afraid to share my addiction/recovery story and I hope that I am able to share and pass advice to as many people as I can. I want to be open and available as a helping hand to all my clients.

Mental health. Well, I can say from experience that it is very tricky to navigate. You can be feeling like you’re on top of the world and then in the blink of an eye be face down in despair. No warning or reason, just a flip of a switch and bam, done. Age 15, was the first time a person close to me passed away, my first boyfriend, Jeremy. It was an accident, there was nothing anyone could do. Age 17, my good friend, Dimitri. Who unknown to me, was struggling with severe depression and took his own life. This was the first time I dealt with suicide. Age 18, my first love, Matt, passed away from a heroin overdose. Age 20, a good friend, Tyler, passed away from a heroin overdose. Age 23, my best friend, in the whole world, Esrah, unknown to me was struggling with severe depression, she never told me. I leaned on her, she was my rock. She took her own life, on a day I was supposed to be with her. I was the last person to see her and to speak to her, I had no idea. Age 26, my brother from another mother, Bob, passed away from a heart attack. Age 27, a high school boyfriend, Luke, took his own life. Age 28, a good friend, Eric, overdosed and then a week later, my most recent ex, Jeffrey, passed away from heart failure. Age 23, I no longer had control of my emotions, but I did not understand how to feel normal…happy. As a result, I started to drink in order not to feel anything at all. I kept it together, but I wasn’t healthy. You see, I blamed myself for Esrah’s death. I blamed myself for not seeing her despair, I was her best friend, I should have known. This started a cycle, I started blaming myself for not keeping in contact with the people I had lost before they passed, I blamed myself for not reaching out and helping them when they began using heroin…I alienated them instead. I blamed myself for not seeing or knowing how to help any of them. I blamed myself as if there was something I could have done. The guilt and the grief that I felt affected me in all areas of my life. It mainly showcased in my dating life. I became too scared to let anyone get too close to me, but I also was terrified of letting anyone go, of losing them. My fear of losing a person got in the way of any sort of real relationship, that fear completely inhibited me of making any sort of rational choices. As a result I part took in many toxic relationships, I allowed people to take advantage of me, I allowed people to treat me poorly, and I put myself in very unhealthy situations. Some of my poor decisions lead to multiple traumatic events that left me defining myself as completely worthless. Age 25, I’m riddled with guilt, absolutely no self worth, feeling completely alone, not an ounce of real happiness. I’m binge drinking on my days off. I have a DUI. I start using cocaine, because I need to be able to drink more, in order to cover up the pain. Age 26, I find myself swirling down the bowl of addiction, going 90 on an ice covered road, with my eyes closed, hoping to die. I finally understood Esrah’s choice. I knew at that point that I needed help. Real help. Age 26, I checked myself into recovery. I got sober, I addressed my grief, I addressed my trauma, I addressed my self worth. I learned to love myself again. I was able to properly address what was happening in my brain. Without professional help I would have continued to drown. Age 28, sober, making choices that have my own happiness in the fore front, forgiving myself every day for past mistakes, setting boundaries, and practicing self care. I am now back in school and on a career path that leads into the cosmetology world. I’m excited to be able to use my artistic talents on a day to day basis to bring joy to others, whilst also having the flexibility to venture out on some of my other aspirations. One day, I hope to have a beautiful family of my own. I hope to have a thriving cosmetology career in which I have many loyal customers that also become my good friends. I strive to advocate natural beauty and to bring others happiness by helping them grow their self confidence. I hope that I can share my story and inspire people to be their best self. Sober, awake, and beautiful. I will keep taking steps to reach my one day, but for now I stick to one day at a time. Despite being sober and seemingly on a path of happiness. It is still a constant battle to stay in the light and out of the darkness. Recovery gave me the tools and the lessons to stay on top of the water, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. There is no cure all to depression or anxiety, it’s always there, nagging at you. I was fortunate enough to have the resources to pull myself up, but not everyone does. Which is why I think it is extremely important that everyone, no matter what, has access to the appropriate resources to get professional help. It is so important that sad shaming and downplaying people’s pain and emotions stops. We need to make sure that every child and every adult knows that their pain is validated and that there is hope and help out there for them. Take a small step today and vow to show kindness to as many people as you can. The smallest gesture of love can save a life. Check on your strong friends.

Addiction and Recovery have shaped who I am today. A few years ago I found myself in a very dark hole, I had too many people I cared about pass away, more than one traumatizing event occur, and an excessive amount of failed relationships. These experiences left me with a lot of guilt, sadness, and no self worth. I felt like I was so shattered that I would never be able to be put back together again. All I cared about was not feeling, so I drank every night until I didn't feel anything anymore. I was terrified of what would happen if I didn't numb it away. I was terrified to be alone. I was terrified to face reality. I let my life fall apart and I became someone I didn't recognize. I didn't see any way out on my own. I knew I needed help. Fortunately, I found Summit Women's Recovery center and I checked myself into their outpatient program. During my time in the recovery program I learned how to love myself again. I learned about trauma, I learned about why I felt the way I did, and I learned coping mechanisms to help me through tough times. I also learned to put myself first and to set boundries. Most importantly, I learned accountability. Recovery and sobriety allowed me to address my past traumas and forgive people I never thought I could, including myself. I was able to pull myself out of that dark hole and, instead, put myself onto a new, healthy path. I couldn't see a future for myself before, but now I can see my future and I feel worthy of it. I wouldn't be here without recovery. I am very grateful for life. More than I ever have been before.

I believe the biggest problem facing our world has always been segregation between races, nationalities, genders, and sexual orientation. We are all human, and until we start treating each other equally we will always face unecessary violences. I believe that in order for true equality to become a reality, there needs to be a shift in core beliefs. However, even just beginning to break the cycle of predjudice would take many angles of approach. Starting with mandatory programs throughout grade school and college that teach acceptance, empathy, and ways to practice embracing diversity and individuality. Being different needs to be taught as a normal thing. We need to be teaching our children that all lives carry value, that everyone is entitled to their own personal preference without judgement. That another person's life choices belong to them, it is their right to make those choices, judement free. Our children need to know that we are all the same no matter what color our skin is, where we are from, what style we choose for ourselves, or who we chose to love. Next, religion truly needs to become completely seperate from government and education. Religion is a choice and should never be a part of an organization that represents a diverse population. Another huge change, that I believe would make a big difference, is eliminating female and male sections, in stores, as well as "petite" and "plus size". We don't need sections, people should be able to go into a store and not feel limited to one section. All items are for anyone and should be available in all sizes. There are many more things I could think of, but for now spreading love and acceptance wherever you go as often as possible is the best way to start making this change.

Two years ago I pulled myself out of very dark time by checking myself into recovery for excessive alcohol usage. During this dark time I never put myself first and I let other people treat me poorly, because I thought I deserved it. My recovery process taught me the true importance of self care. I’ve learned that making time for myself is necessary, whether it’s something small or large. I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no to things and to people that take away from my happiness. I’ve learned that I don’t need to accept negative behavior from people and that I do not deserve to be treated poorly. Most importantly I learned to put myself first and to make sure that my decisions are supporting my happiness. One of the biggest changes I made was adding a morning routine to my schedule. A morning routine is one of the best ways to incorporate self care and to ensure a successful day. I personally wake up, have a glass of water, brush my teeth, complete my skincare routine, then I make myself a healthy breakfast and a cup of tea. While I eat I’ll listen to either NPR or a TedTalk and I’ll write an entry in my journal. Every once in awhile if I have time I’ll complete a yoga or stretching routine. Then I’ll get dressed and take my dog for a walk. I head to school or work after. This routine has made such a huge difference in the way that I feel and allows me to focus on only myself and my needs, even if it’s just for the morning. The mornings I don’t complete this whole routine I definitely feel different and less energized.