On January 22nd, 2020, one of my best friends died only a month after turning fifteen. It had been a long and painful fight against cancer, one that she ultimately lost. I think about her every single day, despite it having been almost two years. She was an angel, and I'm not just saying that. She was incredibly kind, she was smart, and had an innate talent for the arts. She was wonderful. One thing that she was so excited for was to learn to drive. She wanted that freedom, and she wanted to be able to see me more, due to living so far away from one another. She never got to do that. She never got to go to homecoming or to prom. She didn't get to live. And so, I've made it my goal to live for her. Whenever I'm debating whether I want to take a risk, I think about her. When I'm deciding on whether to go to an event or not, I think about her. There's so much that she never got, and I absolutely know she wouldn't want me to miss out. I miss her every day. But I live for her every day.

My favorite book is The Cider House Rules by John Irving. My sophomore year of high school, my teacher assigned us lit circles and would give us a list to choose from each time. He explained some very basic details about all of them, and when he got to this book, he said, "No one ever chooses this one. It's far too long. About 600 pages, I think, but it's a great book." I took that as a challenge, and convinced my group that we needed to read it. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The book is overwhelming, to say the least. It's long and there's so many plot points and characters to keep track of. Not only that, but the novel spans over decades from the beginning to the end. It's a lot to take in and process. But it's all for a reason. Every single detail of that book is important. And it's all significant. The book is fiction, but all of it is significant to real life experience. It has political undertones, but without being offensive or harmful toward either side of the argument, which happens to discuss abortion. It speaks on addiction, abuse, the consequences of the medical field, and so much more. It opened my eyes to a world of different perspectives, ideals, and experiences. I highly recommend the book to anyone that will let me rant about it.

The biggest problem facing the world right now is inequality and oppression in the same hand. Even in countries considered to be "first world", there are multiple instances of rights being taken from certain groups of people. This can be applied to sexism, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, and transphobia. In any country, any society, and though any one person, there are perpetrators, victims, and bystanders. Even if they don't realize it, the majority of the people in the world are bystanders. In fact, you can be both a victim and a bystander, or even a perpetrator and a bystander. Women who protest against birth control and abortion rights are one such example. Or by allowing your friends and family to be perpetrators and/or enabling the behavior is another example. Everyone needs to do better to make sure that not only themselves, but the people around them aren't adding to this cycle of ostracisation. Once some of the issues of inequality are solved, other problems facing the world will follow. For example, when women have equal rights to men, they're happier which leads to a better family structure, which can solve the issue of the declining birth rate that many countries are currently facing. Ending these struggles as a whole will greatly improve mental health statistics, which will in turn lower crime and suicide rates. In conclusion, many issues the world faces are because of or are exacerbated by inequality issues. If we fix that, the rest will follow.

For as long as I can remember, music has been an essential aspect of my life. My dad was in a band, and he and other members of my family used music as a way of expression, and they taught me to do the same. Most of my familial relationships can related back to music in some way. When I was in elementary school, my teacher taught us how to read basic sheet music. I took to it like a fish to water, and I regret nothing more than not forcing my parents to sign me up for piano lessons with her as well. I joined choir at the earliest opportunity and took up leaderships positions within my choirs, such as student representative and section leader. As of right now I've been in an organized choir for seven years, I did show choir for two years, and this is my second year of being in a jazz/a capella choir. I'm also a member of Modern Music Masters and having taken piano class at my school. I have experience and skill alongside my passion. Nothing drives me more than music. It's kept me going at my lowest and raised me at my highest. It's my goal to become a music teacher. Some of the most influential people in my life were my music teachers. They sparked a flame in me that I refuse to let be fanned out. Not only for myself, but for my future students as well. I want to be that person for them. I want to help people understand that you can pursue your passions. So many people are told that music and art aren't careers and I want to battle that. Especially as an LGBTQ+ individual. The ostracization I experienced is something I don't want people to suffer through, and I will do everything I can to be the best leader and mentor for my students.

Although this may sound indelicate, I believe I could call my earlier life as a whole a "failure". However, it's difficult to truly put a meaning to that word. I wasn't a good person. I hurt people and was violently nasty just in an attempt to feel seen. I hid myself away from the people who cared about me and let my trauma control me. Instead of allowing myself to process the grievances of discovering my sexuality and gender identity, straying from my faith, and losing those I cared about, I pushed my anger and hatred toward myself onto other people. It's taken a long time for me to forgive myself. But I'm out and proud, I stand tall next to those who need me, and I allow myself to get help. I don't know if I will ever truly make up for all of the harm I did. I've educated myself and became a better person, but that doesn't mean I can just pretend it didn't happen. Every day, I strive to be that better person, and to help others. I try not to let myself get buried under my problems and stress. I am now as a whole, more loving, kind, ambitious, and happy. I have real plans for my future and I'm working hard to get there. My wonderfully amazing friends are supporting me all the way, and I'm happy to say that I'm now the kind of person that can be their support system as well.