Like many, I began to feel anxious and depressed with the onset of puberty. The change in hormones caused a chemical imbalance in my brain. As a high school student, I was awkward and couldn't understand what was happening to me. I began to feel so much anger. To top it off, I was a closeted young girl of color. The anger at everything turned into hate for myself. I felt guilty for simply existing. When you combine anxiety and depression with anger, hate, and guilt into a poorly informed teenager, you get me. As I entered adulthood, I was so apathetic and numb. I remember that I used to be so full of life with the courage that lions could only hope to have. I was fearless. This whole puberty thing wrecked me. I was desperate for change. That change came in the form of moving out and having to survive. I moved out of state and got a job. When the company went under, I became homeless. I lived in a fort made out of off-brand Hefty trash bags and Duct Tape for a year. I learned that adhesive on tape melts in the summers and freezes in the winters. I worked part time and took any odd job that came my way. I was lucky enough to land a full time job providing behavioral therapy to children on the autism spectrum. I moved into an apartment and a few years later I bought a house. I volunteer and try my best to help others down on their luck. I found myself. I am a helper and I strive to better my community. I came out, I learned to love myself, and gained some nifty coping skills along the way. I am living my best life now.

When I look at the world around me I see so much aspiration. People are looking to better themselves and it inspires me to do the same. Often, the effects of this aspiration are hubris and conceit from having to put your head down and trudge through the trenches for a better life. What I want to do for my community is give them a way to lift their heads to look at the bigger picture. I tend to side with Plato and Socrates in the belief that people are inherently good but they may need a new perspective in order to act accordingly. If we as a society can harness the go-getter attitude of the world, we can build a more inclusive, loving, and fair place to live. That is a world for which I yearn; these qualities transcend race, political parties, and religious beliefs. This is why I am sure this type of world is possible. I am no Mahatma Gandhi but I can still be the change I wish to see in the world. I am well aware that the world cannot be changed so easily. This means that I will have to focus my energy on specific issues. I am getting my degree in psychology-applied behavior analysis to help people with developmental and learning disabilities learn skills to improve their quality of life. I am an advocate for inclusion and providing needed assistance for them to become as independent as possible. I volunteer at soup kitchens, sew winter jackets for children, participate in 5k fundraising events, volunteer at nursing homes, and donate to bake sales. I vote and write my state and local representatives. I do all of this for the same reason; I believe that people who may need help are still people and are deserving of respect and dignity. I cannot do it alone. I love enlisting people to provide additional support. There is a grassroots movement in my community to help others. To build a fair community of inclusion and love, we need to have a multifaceted approach. Reaching out to expand these values beyond my social circle will take work. I want to work with my local government, churches, news stations, and use the power of social media to proselytize. This will facilitate involvement of the community to create lasting systemic changes. Let’s convert the aspirations into common goals. We don’t have to trudge through the trenches alone. The barriers that I experience are financial. It has been a struggle to pay for school while I say at home to take care of my husband who became disabled while serving in the Marin Corps. Money has been tight. I cannot always afford the gas or bus fare travel to my volunteer locations. I never let that stop me. However, with this scholarship I can use this opportunity to reach out to my community and provide more support. Here in rustbelt-Ohio, we can use all of the support we can get, one change at a time.

My favorite artist is also a scientist and an entrepreneur; her name is Cathy Hay. She is a reverse archaeologist, founded a company called Foundations Revealed which helps sewists learn historical techniques, creates videos to document her creative and research process, and provides emotional guidance to the community; she is a true renaissance woman. She has inspired me beyond historical recreation to persevere, be patient, and be kind to myself. I now strive to pursue my dreams in all forms and be okay with not being good at something right away.

Like most LGBT+ people, The biggest influence on my life was having to grapple with my identity. I wanted to fit in so I pretended to have crushes on the popular boys and if I liked a girl, I bushed it off as a “girl crush.” All girls have “girl crushes,” right? In high school I began to think of myself as bisexual but that still didn’t quite fit. I couldn’t pinpoint what specifically I liked. I felt broken. Something in me didn’t work the same way as my peers, even the ones who were in the LGBT+ community. My journey to self acceptance and self love shaped what I want to do for my career. I felt like everyone had a say in who I am except for me. I felt like my existence was denied. I slowly started to hate myself for being different, for not being enough, for being me. My social isolation and my preexisting mental health issues led me to become suicidal. I was apathetic about life. In Buddhism there is a concept of samsara which means life is suffering. I truly believed this. I didn’t want people to think I was weak but I still wanted to make myself suffer for not being able to fix myself. I began to cut myself in my bikini area where no one would see or ask questions. I learned how to tie a noose. I took out life insurance and wrote a living will. I saved up enough to pay for cremation services, and enough to hire a team to clean out my room and get rid of my things. I wanted to make sure that my death would not burden my family too much. Although I hated myself, I still loved them. As I was saving up, I took a gender studies class in college and I began to learn more about myself. I learned about sexuality and gender constructs. This class was my savior. It was my “Aha” moment. There was a word for what I am; there were lots of words for what I am. This meant that there are others like me. I am demisexual and panromantic. Grey asexuality exists! I instantly felt relief and connected. The hate started to fade. I was able to start planning for my future. I floundered planning my future because I never thought I would live this long. I found a passion working with people who are also ostracized and experience similar isolation. I want to earn a PsyD and become a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. I aim to open my own practice to improve the quality of life for LGBT+ people with autism spectrum disorder and promote community inclusion. I want to show them that they aren’t broken and give them the tools to navigate the world.

Like most LGBT+ people, I grappled with my identity growing up. I wanted to fit in so I pretended to have crushes on the popular boys and if I liked a girl, I bushed it off as a “girl crush.” All girls have “girl crushes,” right? In high school I began to think of myself as bisexual but that still didn’t quite fit. I couldn’t pinpoint what specifically I liked. I felt broken. Something in me didn’t work the same way as my peers, even the ones who were in the LGBT+ community. On top of that, I am bi-racial and I felt even more ostracized. I am Filipino and Mexican and began to wrestle with anxiety and depression since puberty. I felt isolated. I felt like everyone had a say in who I am except for me. Mexicans would say I am Filipino. Filipinos would say I am Mexican. The LGBT+ community would omit me because I can pass as straight. I felt like my existence was denied. I slowly started to hate myself for being different, for not being enough, for being me. My social isolation and my preexisting mental health issues led me to become suicidal. I was apathetic about life. In Buddhism there is a concept of samsara which means life is suffering. I truly believed this. I didn’t want people to think I was weak but I still wanted to make myself suffer for not being able to fix myself. I began to cut myself in my bikini area where no one would see or ask questions. I learned how to tie a noose. I took out life insurance and wrote a living will. I saved up enough to pay for cremation services, and enough to hire a team to clean out my room and get rid of my things. I wanted to make sure that my death would not burden my family too much. Although I hated myself, I still loved them. As I was saving up, I took a gender studies class in college and I began to learn more about myself. I learned about sexuality and gender constructs. This class was my savior. It was my “Aha” moment. There was a word for what I am; there were lots of words for what I am. This meant that there are others like me. I am demisexual and panromantic. Grey asexuality exists! I instantly felt relief and connected. The hate started to fade; I was able to start healing. I began to love myself little by little with each day. I have come so far and I want to help others too. I want to earn a PsyD and become a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. I aim to open my own practice to improve the quality of life for LGBT+ people with autism spectrum disorder and promote community inclusion. I want to show them that they aren’t broken and give them the tools to navigate the world.

I so much pressure to do more, push harder, prove myself. Too often I forget to slow down and fully appreciate who I am and how far I have come. I feel like it is just as bold to voice my limits and say, "this is too much." One day I seen my husband, a disabled combat veteran, show signs of PTSD and I suggested that we go for a hike. It was an opportunity to help and I was able to de-escalate him.

Savina DeGuzman I always felt a calling to serve. I was mommy’s little helper and teacher’s helper. Later, I began to volunteer and when it was time to work, I knew I wanted a job that helped people. The question became: “who and how do I want to help?” I volunteered with the elderly, humane societies, child care centers, women's shelters, and LGBT+ societies. I have worked in retirement homes, rehabilitation facilities and as a private tutor. Then, I started working with children with severe autism. I found my passion! Working with my clients, the families, and the community can be difficult. My first client was nonverbal with minimal communication skills, no adaptive skills, no functional play skills, and minimal attending skills. The only thing allowed in his bubble was a frog that he liked to shake 3 inches from his face. He also engaged in problematic behaviors. He would scream, scratch, throw things, hit himself and others, and run away when he didn’t get his way. He was fast! It was tiring and challenging. My job was to utilize applied behavior analysis to teach socially significant behaviors. I was to teach, record data, and make sure he was meeting his individual education plan goals. It’s all very clinical. To a little boy seeing this for the first time, it’s scary. He was away from home for the first time with a strange lady who bullied him by having him sit at the table. When I finally left his case, he could sit beautifully at the table, he was potty trained, he played pranks on his mom, played functionally with his sisters, and although he was still nonverbal, he was fluent in Picture Exchange Communication. He would use his pictures instead of lashing out! I know I helped all of my clients but his growth is my biggest achievement. I had helped a little boy come out of his shell. I helped him take the steps to becoming as independent as possible. His mother told me that I gave her back her son. I had always been independent and reliant on myself. I could easily recognize when others needed a help but it was hard for me to identify it in myself. When I did recognize it, I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I had to become comfortable with accepting an extra pair of hands. There was no way that I could have given my client the proper care if it weren’t from the support of my cohort. I learned many things like teamwork and leadership. The most important thing I learned was to let go of my apprehensions and just ask for help. I would like to continue to work in applied behavior analysis with the goal of becoming a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. I can give the families the foundational building blocks to teach their children. I can improve the quality of life for people with developmental disabilities and promote community inclusion. This is where I can best be of use. I want to protect children and advance the science. I had to take time off from working to take care of my husband, a disabled veteran. I am his caregiver while he physically recovers and undergoes mental health treatment. I work with his health professional to apply and translate my previous experience to help in his treatment. I am currently enrolled at Purdue while acting as his caregiver. I would use scholarships to continue my education with the goal of helping my community without worrying too much about how to fund my education.

Savina DeGuzman I have always loved helping. It's who I am. Being of use, providing a hand to someone in need, and bettering the lives around me what drives me. I am inspired by knowing that I did some good. I struggled to find who and how I can best help. I explored through volunteer work and working in various fields. I volunteer at women's shelters, LGBT+ societies, child care centers, and humane societies. I worked at nursing homes, rehabilitation centers, and schools. Then I worked with children with severe autism as a Registered Behavior Technician providing therapy. This is where I found my passion! I aspire to become a Board Certified Behavior Analyst which allows me to help these children and their families in a more impactful manner but I need a masters degree to qualify. Working with my clients, the families, and the community can be difficult. My first client was nonverbal with minimal communication skills, no adaptive skills, no functional play skills, and minimal attending skills. The only thing allowed in his bubble was a frog that he liked to shake 3 inches from his face. He also had problematic behaviors. He would scream, scratch, throw things, hit himself and others, and run away when he didn’t get his way. He was fast! It was tiring and challenging. When I finally left his case, he could sit beautifully at the table, he was potty trained, he played pranks on his mom, played functionally with his sisters, and although he was still nonverbal, he was fluent in Picture Exchange Communication. He would use his pictures instead of lashing out! I helped him take the steps to becoming as independent as possible. His mother told me that I gave her back her son. I had to trust in the science, work as a team, and get creative. Managing problem behaviors can be physically and mentally exhausting but knowing the impact that I can have is what inspires me to keep going. I am reassured every day by seeing my clients’ improvements. Their personalities shine and I see how far they have come. I see their potential. They inspire me to keep going, to be better, and to have fun! The reward is knowing that I have helped them become their best selves; the reward is the hope I give to families. I want to improve the quality of life for people with developmental disabilities and promote community inclusion. With a degree I can be promoted to a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, I can help more families and have a more meaningful impact on my community.

Savina DeGuzman From being mommy's little helper to becoming a therapist, I have always loved helping. It's who I am. Being of use, providing a hand to someone in need, and bettering the lives around me what drives me. I am inspired by knowing that I did some good. When I started working, I struggled to find who and how I can best help. I volunteered at women's shelters, LGBT+ societies, child care centers, and humane societies. I worked at nursing homes, rehabilitation centers, and schools. Then I worked with children with severe autism as a Registered Behavior Technician providing therapy. This is where I found my passion! Working with my clients, the families, and the community can be difficult. My first client was nonverbal with minimal communication skills, no adaptive skills, no functional play skills, and minimal attending skills. The only thing allowed in his bubble was a frog that he liked to shake 3 inches from his face. He also had problematic behaviors. He would scream, scratch, throw things, hit himself and others, and run away when he didn’t get his way. He was fast! It was tiring and challenging. My job was to utilize applied behavior analysis to teach socially significant behaviors. I was to teach, record data, and make sure he was meeting his individual education plan goals. It’s all very clinical. To a little boy seeing this for the first time, it’s scary. He was away from home for the first time with a strange lady who bullied him by having him sit at the table. When I finally left his case, he could sit beautifully at the table, he was potty trained, he played pranks on his mom, played functionally with his sisters, and although he was still nonverbal, he was fluent in Picture Exchange Communication. He would use his pictures instead of lashing out! I helped him take the steps to becoming as independent as possible. His mother told me that I gave her back her son. I had to trust in the science, work as a team, and get creative. Managing problem behaviors can be physically and mentally exhausting but knowing the impact that I can have is what inspires me to keep going. I am reassured every day by seeing my clients’ improvements. Their personalities shine and I see how far they have come. I see their potential. They inspire me to keep going, to be better, and to have fun! The reward is knowing that I have helped them become their best selves; the reward is the hope I give to families. I want to improve the quality of life for people with developmental disabilities and promote community inclusion. With a degree, I can help more families and have a more meaningful impact on my community.

I had read about the "dark side" of behavior therapy and the trauma that can come from ill-provided services to teach children on the autism spectrum. I didn't learn about this until after I became a Registered Behavior Technician and worked in the field. Helping these children and their families is where I found my passion. This is where I know I can best be of use. I can protect children and advance the science... But I need a degree so I can make meaningful changes on much larger scale. I know that I helped all of my clients and there is one little boy that stands out. When I joined his case, he was nonverbal with minimal communication skills, no adaptive skills, no functional play skills, and minimal attending skills. The only thing allowed in his bubble was a frog that he liked to shake 3 inches from his face. My job was to utilize applied behavior analysis to teach socially significant behaviors. I was to teach, record data, and make sure he was meeting his individual education plan goals. It’s very clinical. To a little boy seeing this for the first time, it’s scary. He was away from home for the first time with a strange lady who bullies him by not letting him watch explicit rap music or having him sit at the table. I didn’t have his attention nor did he tolerate me very much. It then became my goal to make him like me. With permission from my supervisor, I threw his programs to the wind and focused only on play for the following sessions. It took reliance on the science, creativity, and team work to get him to come out of his shell and start learning with me. When I finally left his case, he could sit beautifully at the table, he was potty trained, he played pranks on his mom, played functionally with his sisters, he was able to generalize skills with his family, and although he was still nonverbal, he was fluent in Picture Exchange Communication. I helped him take the steps to becoming as independent as possible. His mother told me that I gave her back her son. Mostly, I helped that little boy. I am so proud of how far he has come. That is my biggest achievement. From being mommy's little helper to becoming a teacher's aide and therapist, I have always loved helping. It's who I am. I am am currently unemployed because I am taking care of my husband, a disabled veteran. His health took a turn for the worse so I am temporarily his caregiver. I was able to save up enough to take a year off of work so I could help him. I will return to the field and until then, I fully intend to use this time to pursue my degree. With a degree, I can dive right in to helping more families.

Savina DeGuzman's scholarship essay I had read about the "dark side" of behavior therapy and the trauma that can come from ill-provided services to teach children on the autism spectrum. I didn't learn about this until after I became a Registered Behavior Technician and worked in the field. Helping these children and their families is where I found my passion. This is where I know I can best be of use. I can protect children and advance the science... But I need a degree so I can make meaningful changes on much larger scale. I know that I helped all of my clients and there is one little boy that stands out. When I joined his case, he was nonverbal with minimal communication skills, no adaptive skills, no functional play skills, and minimal attending skills. The only thing allowed in his bubble was a frog that he liked to shake 3 inches from his face. My job was to utilize applied behavior analysis to teach socially significant behaviors. I was to teach, record data, and make sure he was meeting his individual education plan goals. It’s very clinical. To a little boy seeing this for the first time, it’s scary. He was away from home for the first time with a strange lady who bullies him by not letting him watch explicit rap music or having him sit at the table. I didn’t have his attention nor did he tolerate me very much. It then became my goal to make him like me. With permission from my supervisor, I threw his programs to the wind and focused only on play for the following sessions. It took reliance on the science, creativity, and team work to get him to come out of his shell and start learning with me. When I finally left his case, he could sit beautifully at the table, he was potty trained, he played pranks on his mom, played functionally with his sisters, he was able to generalize skills with his family, and although he was still nonverbal, he was fluent in Picture Exchange Communication. I helped him take the steps to becoming as independent as possible. His mother told me that I gave her back her son. Mostly, I helped that little boy. I am so proud of how far he has come. That is my biggest achievement. From being mommy's little helper to becoming a teacher's aide and therapist, I have always loved helping. It's who I am. I am am currently unemployed because I am taking care of my husband, a disabled veteran. His health took a turn for the worse so I am temporarily his caregiver. I was able to save up enough to take a year off of work so I could help him. I will return to the field and until then, I fully intend to use this time to pursue my degree. With a degree, I can dive right in to helping more families.

I started volunteer work with my dad when I was in the 6th grade. He had told me that volunteering feels rewarding; he asked me if I felt the same. It didn’t. Then and now, I believe that helping is just something people should do. All I had to do was choose the demographic and dive in. I volunteered with the elderly and humane societies. I volunteered at child care centers, women's shelters, and LGBT+ societies. Then I worked with children with severe autism as a Registered Behavior Technician providing applied behavior analysis therapy. This is where I found my passion! I know that I helped all of my clients but there was one little boy that stood out. When I joined his case, he was nonverbal with minimal communication skills, no adaptive skills, no functional play skills, and minimal attending skills. The only thing allowed in his bubble was a frog that he liked to shake 3 inches from his face. Like most families who have a toddler with a disability, they were desperate for help and just wanted the best for him. My job was to utilize applied behavior analysis to teach socially significant behaviors. I was to teach, record data, and make sure he was meeting his individual education plan goals. It’s very clinical. To a little boy seeing this for the first time, it’s scary. He was away from home for the first time with a strange lady who bullies him by not letting him watch explicit rap music or having him sit at the table. I didn’t have his attention nor did he tolerate me very much. It then became my goal to make him like me. With permission from my supervisor, I threw his programs to the wind and focused only on play for the following sessions. I had plans for him. When I saw him next, I met him with toys, chips, bubbles, and chocolate. I wore a frog hat, and jumped with him through the halls. We played for the entire session by hitting toys on various surfaces. I would sing with him, too. I just wanted to play with him in a way that was most meaningful to him. I discarded all thoughts about how I wanted to play or how I seen other kids play. I played how he played and I dove right in. This is how we connected. Later, whenever I would teach, his reinforcement would be a snack, me showing him the spin of a fidget spinner, or a loud silly sound. Suddenly I had his interest. Eureka! I had his attention. When I finally left his case, he could sit beautifully at the table, he was potty trained, he played pranks on his mom, played functionally with his sisters, he was able to generalize skills with his family, and although he was still nonverbal, he was fluent in Picture Exchange Communication. Also, I did it. He liked me. By following this goal, I had accomplished my biggest achievement. I had helped a little boy come out of his shell. I helped him take the steps to becoming as independent as possible. His mother told me that I gave her back her son. Mostly, I helped that little boy. That is my biggest achievement. With a degree I can dive right in to helping more families.