Have you ever heard the term "well at least I'm not fat"? In other words, being fat is seen as rock bottom. This fatphobia is ingrained into our daily lives and people do not even notice it unless you are plus-sized. We notice. We notice that the beauty standard is the opposite of us. We notice that we are not seen in advertisements or TV shows or movies. We notice when our skinny friends say "oh my gosh I'm so fat". I notice. This idea that fat people are below everyone else in society has been programmed into my head for my entire life. When I was just six years old, I remember longing to get to high school so I could finally be skinny (this was put in my head from watching Glee where all the characters are skinny). I was too afraid to ride in go-karts or go on the Ferris wheel at the Houston Rodeo, something that was a tradition for my family. I wanted to grab the kitchen scissors and cut off my stomach. With social media rising in popularity as I grew older, I was eager to follow plus-sized people so I could have a more diverse feed. One day a couple of months ago, I decided to post a TikTok talking about things that fat people have to go through on a daily basis, like the things I mentioned earlier. I expected the video to get about 20 views, but it gained more than 110,000 views and 33,000 likes. Along with this came more than 1,000 comments. They were hard to read. Most of these comments were from strangers who could relate to what I was stating in my video, but there were also many people who entertained fatphobia. People called me derogatory words, made fun of my eating disorder and my appearance, told me to stop complaining and just work out, and more. This was the first time I had received an abundance of hate online. It was overwhelming, to say the least. But through this, the hate has fueled my passion to raise awareness about eating disorders and the fatphobia that goes along with it. I want to change the world for the better and create a globe that does not judge based on weight or appearance but supports each other unconditionally.

May 20th, 2009. I was only 6 years old, but I knew life would be altered from that day forward. My mom was walking around our family's apartments sobbing, looking clueless. I was frightened as I had never seen her this way. Eventually, she sat me down to break the news. My grandmother, my mom's mother, had died in the hospital after battling a brain tumor. I froze, broke down, and remained in that state for an incredibly long time. She and I were abundantly close. We would speak French together because it helped me retain the information I was learning in school. I would dress up in her silver bangles and prance around the living room as if I were her. We would relax in her apartment, watch silly movies and eat hamburgers that were cold from sitting in the refrigerator. To this day, I don't reheat my leftovers. She taught me the importance of a first impression. She was always poised, done-up, funny, and, between you and me, a little kooky. She truly had a yellow aura: incredibly warm, welcoming, accepting, genuinely kind, and interested in you and your thoughts. Because of this, I always remember to attend events in a kooky outfit that I feel comfortable in, take a lap and say hi to everyone and shake their hand, as well as to accessorize with my silver. January 12th, 2010. I was only 7 years old, but I knew every birthday of my grandmother's would be altered from that day forward. On this day and the 20th of May every year, my siblings and I give my mom her space. She prays, holds my grandmother's rosary, and thanks the Universe for her presence. Random things remind me of her. Certain roads, Arkansas, my middle name, McDonald's, French, and this one quaint apartment complex in Houston, Texas that has been demolished. You know how some people are teachers, and some teachers are born to teach? THAT was my grandmother. She made it her life's work to be a positive influence on her students. Day after day, she was determined to make sure that her students never felt alone or worthless. She passed down that drive and passion to me, and she taught me to never give up. As I think about a career field that I am called to, teaching immediately comes to my mind. My mom started teaching after my grandmother passed away, and the trend is starting to reach me. This just proves how far her inspiring character spreads. Every single goal I hold revolves around helping others. I want to encourage self-love in youth. I want to provide spaces for queer, plus-sized women to share their voices. I want to amplify the right people and make the world a better place. Without a doubt, this was influenced by my grandmother. My sense of empathy is grand because of her. My warm nature is grand because of her. My kindness is grand because of her. I hope that as I complete these goals, I am making her proud and continuing her legacy. The grieving process is never linear. It is full of rage, confusion, tears, and stubbornness. But always in the end, the finale is acceptance. Acceptance in the fact that our loved ones are gone. Acceptance in the fact that the loss is out of our control. Acceptance in the fact that we can, however, control how much we let this loss consume our lives. May 20th, 2021. I was only 18 years old, but I was starting to realize that the black cloud was a little greyer. The cloud is still there, but it is sprinkling rather than pouring. The rain landed on seeds that bloomed into beautiful bluebonnets, the Texas state flower that were incredibly abundant next to my grandmother's apartment. I was not drowning, but rather standing in a puddle. There was a reflection of a rainbow. I had an umbrella and rain boots, and I could control how much rain got on me. I have control over how much the rain consumed me. I am content.

Worthless. Hideous. Unloved. Repulsive. These words would revolve around my mind every minute of every day. These negative thoughts consumed my mind, body, and soul, and they affected me to the point where I did not know who I was. It was like I was stabbing a dagger into my own heart. However, the worst part was that I did not care in the slightest. My problems with mental health have always been apparent. One of my earliest memories is watching the show "Glee" when I was six years old and longing to be skinny. I was conscious of that at SIX. I wanted to be someone different at SIX. I hated my body at SIX. Pessimistic thoughts surrounding my body, food, and weight made me develop an eating disorder, specifically binge eating disorder. Binge eating disorder has taken ownership of my being. I cannot enjoy a meal without overthinking the calorie count, obsessing over the portion, or wondering why my brain was wired this way. It is not fair. It is not how I want to live my life. This is not who I want to be. Since being conscious of my eating disorder, my passion to destigmatize mental health disorders has increased greatly. This dedication is fueled by my inner child. Whenever I see myself in the mirror and hate the reflection, I tell myself that I need to love myself for baby Sadie, because baby Sadie deserves to be loved unconditionally. This mindset has transformed my way of thinking, as well as my beliefs, relationships, and career aspirations. My beliefs have expanded incredibly since my diagnosis. When I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder, I was also diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and inattentive ADHD. This gave me a deeper insight into life and how people live it...WHY people live it. It was a new lens if you will. I am far more empathetic thanks to my new outlook on life. I am more understanding and my beliefs have expanded to fit in everyone, no matter someone's gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, religion, etc. I see now how complex the brain is and I value diversity more. My relationships have been hindered by my mental illnesses in the past. My first romantic relationship was filled with undiagnosed mental illnesses on both sides, and that definitely played into our communication, empathy, and more. My current girlfriend and I both have depression, anxiety, and ADHD, and we have been able to bond over that and empathize with each other. Through this, I have learned the importance of patience and putting yourself in others' shoes. My friendships have undergone this transformation as well! I am able to deconstruct why a friend said or did something and I can listen to them more clearly and deeply. From a chef to a teacher to a forensic scientist to a pastor, I have been set on every career in the book at some point in my life. I have an interest in everything and still, to this day, have no idea what I want to do as a career. But since my diagnosis and researching more about my mental illnesses and other disorders, my determination, and passion for helping others has grown more than it already was. The biggest requirement my future career field has to have is a community aspect. I love helping others, especially those I can empathize with. Connecting my eating disorder and passion to help others, I have found a drive to help other plus-sized girls love their bodies and feel comfortable in their skin. I very much live by the mantra "girls support girls", and with something as prevalent and damaging as eating disorders, that support is widely needed. There is not as much eating disorder awareness (especially for binge eating disorder specifically), and I find that incredibly harmful. I am determined to reverse that. My mental illnesses have caused me an abundance of turmoil, tears, tragedy, and trouble. They have controlled my life for more than a decade, but I am now lucky enough to be able to change that mindset. I am now feeling talented, triumphant, transformed, and trusting of where I am in my life. I want to take the tips, tricks, tools, and things I have learned in recovery and share them with others. I want to abolish the mental health stigma. This thick, dark cloud is hovering over so many heads and pushing down so many shoulders. My experience with mental health has influenced me to be the best version I can be. Not only for others, but also for myself.

Self-love has always been an incredibly hard thing for me to accomplish. My whole life, I hated the body the universe put me in. I longed to be skinny like the actors I saw on television. I sobbed to my mother because I didn't like how I looked in my swimsuit. I was beaten down by the words "fat", "chubby", and "big" as early as third grade. Society engrained in me that I was inferior to my skinny peers. I was not worth anything. I struggle with binge eating disorder (BED) which definitely did not help my personal body image. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) describes BED as "eating large quantities of food (often very quickly and to the point of discomfort); a feeling of a loss of control during the binge; experiencing shame, distress or guilt afterwards; and not regularly using unhealthy compensatory measures (e.g., purging) to counter the binge eating". I believe my eating disorder developed around middle school, but it went undiagnosed for many years. It affected (and continues to affect) every meal I ate, every drive-thru order, and every little thought surrounding food. In addition to the existing stigma around eating disorders, binge eating disorder has an abundance of fatphobia surrounding it. Even though it is the most common eating disorder in the United States, it was only medically recognized as its own disorder in 2013 (NEDA). As people who suffer from BED, we are often perceived as having the choice to control our disorder and change our habits. We are seen as grossly obese instead of mentally ill. Societally, we are not seen as equal to the people that have anorexia or bulimia, mainly because they're "skinny" disorders. My brain has been twisted and warped to believe I am not worth love or recovery. The COVID-19 pandemic has given everyone time to reflect on their life, and personally helped me realize that I had an eating disorder. I had ignored the signs in the previous years, thinking that was how life was meant to be for me. However, I realized that life is not supposed to be this painful. I have the power to control it. During this time, I was working as a nanny for my three little cousins. Every day was draining and I wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and whither away. But one night, my youngest cousin, Lily (3), and I were getting ready for bed. She was brushing her tiny teeth as I messed with the butterfly clips I had put in my hair earlier. Jokingly, I said, "I look like a fairy!", thinking it was something we could laugh about together. She laughed a bit and continued to brush her teeth, brushing off my comment. When she was done with her teeth, she spit in the sink and looked at me in the mirror and said, "you look like a fairy". I was immediately caught off guard because I thought she had forgotten what I had said, but apparently, she had agreed with me. At that moment, I realized how sweet and innocent children are. They do not see weight, mental illnesses, eating disorders, and they don't look through life with a judgemental lens. They love all people regardless of everything. I instantly started sobbing and picked her up and twirled her around, hugging and thanking her. My self-love journey will not be linear. As I enter recovery for my eating disorder, I'm focusing on healing my inner child. She did not deserve what she went through. She deserves the world. I deserve the world.

Depression has become very "mainstream" lately. In a way, I think it's being glamorized by social media. It's almost cool to have depression and/or anxiety. It's seen as "edgy" and "different", but this is not the reality. The reality of depression is far worse than any social media creator or post makes it out to be. I know this from firsthand experience. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Binge Eating Disorder, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety, and Inattentive ADHD in early 2021. My diagnoses were a little shocking but more relieving. Relieved I had a word for the feelings I was feeling. Relieved I wasn't making this all up in my head. Relieved I was being heard for what felt like the first time in my life. I never felt like I had a voice, and it's hard to believe you do when you struggle with mental health disorders. Depression is not just "feeling sad". It's being unable to leave your bed or clean your room. It's the lack of control and accountability when it comes to personal hygiene. It's being on your phone all day in order to distract you from the sadness weighing you down. Depression feels like someone in Hell is grabbing you and pulling you to them. You want to go, too. You can barely fight. It's exhausting to fight. It's not worth it to fight. Eating disorders are not just being incredibly skinny. It's overeating. It's losing control during a binge. It's being so ridden with guilt and disgust that you want to not eat for the next week. It's comparing yourself to your skinny friends. It's seeing your body in the mirror and wanting to cut off your stomach with scissors. It's hating yourself and your relationship with food. These experiences and more have impacted me to promote change. Real change. Moving forward, I am passionate about giving others the voice I felt like I didn't have. So often, kids go unlisted to or ignored. I know from experience how horrible the feeling is, and I wholeheartedly believe that no child should experience that. I know the feeling of being alone. No one deserves that. Mental health disorders are so real. Not "quirky" or "cool to have". They are horrible, draining, worrying, expensive, and can result in death. I am ready to change this. I am ready to tell kids they are not alone. And with this scholarship, I will be able to attend school and learn how to make a true impact. Thank you.

This meme showcases my dedication and determination with a pinch of humor! I wanted to incorporate a hobby I am interested in as well so I can provide a glimpse of who I am as a person. I am currently interested in tarot/oracle cards! I am slowly getting into it and it is such a primary source of my happiness. It's so fun to research different meanings and broaden your horizons. Broadening and expanding my knowledge is something I am incredibly passionate about. I am so eager to attend Stephen F. Austin State University so I can extend my educational abilities. Education is tremendously important to me, and I think it is the basis for a lot of the beliefs I hold, and who I am at my core. With this scholarship, I will be able to learn until my heart's content with a little more financial ease. Money is a humongous factor in education, and it is constantly on my mind. That's why I am so passionate about applying for scholarships: because I know that with the assistance of some incredible donors, I will be able to receive the education that I crave so much. Thank you! :)

My whole life I have felt apart from my peers. In (and out of) school I was shy and reserved, afraid to answer questions, reluctant to make friends, and had a hard time focusing on things I did not find interesting. My classmates were making A's and B's while I was getting 40's on tests. My classmates were going to parties while I was at home too scared to go out. To be blunt, I was jealous. I thought something was wrong with me, but I could not deduce what set me apart from the rest. Growing up with disabilities, especially undiagnosed disabilities, is incredibly eye-opening. As neurodivergent people, we have a different outlook on life than our neurotypical peers do, but we don't really realize that until we're looking back. We see the world far more complex and interesting (at least I do), and it's harder for us to integrate into society. It's hard for us to insert ourselves into it. It's a genuine disadvantage that I didn't realize until I was far older. I did not know there was a word or diagnosis for how I was feeling. This lack of education and knowledge surrounding mental disabilities impacted me very negatively. Not being told by my parents and teachers that mental disabilities exist taught me that they did not matter. It obviously wasn't important enough for them to talk about. This ingrained in me that what I was feeling was abnormal. Weird. Gross. I felt isolated. Judged. Broken. When I was diagnosed, it was so incredibly validating to have a medical professional reassure me that my feelings were not wrong or just In my head. I had basically convinced myself I had made it up, but I was ecstatic to know I hadn't. When I was told I had Major Depressive Disorder, Binge Eating Disorder, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety, and Inattentive ADHD, it made so much sense. All of my feelings finally had a label. It was a relief. I also fully recognize that it's a privilege to be diagnosed. It's expensive to meet with a psychiatrist and get medication, it takes time and resources, transportation (or internet access because of COVID-19). It's also mentally draining, and with many people working and that have families to take care of, getting examined for disabilities is hard for many. As women, we have another disadvantage in the disability community. Many studies are done on men which causes women to go undiagnosed for years. This is how I feel about my ADHD. The stigma surrounding ADHD is a hyperactive young boy, but I am the opposite. I space out, forget things and tasks, have trouble focusing, and I am overly sensitive. No wonder why the people around me didn't realize this. The industry is inherently sexist. All of these setbacks have shown me how much the community needs to be fueled with positive change. I am determined to be there for little girls who are worried that there is something wrong with them. Little girls who struggle with eating and body image. Little girls who are depressed but are worried that they don't have it "as bad" as someone else. Little girls who have a hard time focusing in class but are overlooked. Little girls who feel they do not have a voice. I am determined to take my negative experiences and spin them into something positive, not only for myself but for others. I am so incredibly passionate about people. I love people so much. Their personalities, passions, and power. I have a goal to help fuel that power and help people discover their own. Us neurodivergent people are strong, resilient, and ready for our power. I will not back down. I will increase this and change the world. I will make disabled voices heard.

My self-love journey was nonexistent until recently. My whole life, I never saw myself as worthy of having confidence and self-acceptance. I never loved my body. I have an eating disorder, my skin is oily with scabs everywhere, my fingers are chubby, and my thighs overlap as I walk. I have always had a negative self-image, but it genuinely never occurred to me that I should work to love myself. I just thought this was how my life was going to be forever: depressing, unfulfilling, and unconfident. When I realized I had a problem and came to the conclusion that it was time to start my self-love journey, I realized how much potential I had. I've come to accept that I'm deserving of this journey and change. This path has impacted my life and all of its aspects greatly. My beliefs have shifted so much during my self-acceptance journey. I have come to believe that patience is key. Nothing will be accomplished if we expect it instantly. We must take it one step at a time, one day at a time, and be gracious to our mind, body, and spirit. If we are patient with others, why are we short with ourselves? Relationships are always complex and in need of time and dedication, but it is so much harder when you are not set on yourself. In order to love others unconditionally, it is important to give yourself that same energy. We are deserving just as much as our romantic and platonic partners are. To quote RuPaul, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" My aspirations have expanded greatly since I have been on my self-love path. Before my journey, I was thinking very narrowly. Thinking only about money and careers, and while I am still thinking about those things, it has grown to another level. I am now thinking about the impact I want to have on people and the legacy I want to leave on our planet. I have this newfound passion for helping people love themselves, and I know I want to bring that into my career. I am so thankful my journey opened my eyes to this because I don't think it would have on its own. My self-love journey has impacted me beyond belief. It is a journey 19 years in the making, and it will continue to progress as I age. It will not be linear. I have and will continue to experience highs and lows, milestones and troubles, confident days and depression episodes. It's so important for us to realize that not all self-love journies are the same. They are not like the journies we see on social media. They are not all fantastic and quick and painless. It takes time, patience, energy, determination, goals, and support from a community. I am so glad I have started my self-love journey, and I am incredibly eager to see how it progresses and fluctuates in the coming years.

Being queer in the Church is traumatic. People told me that I was going to Hell and God didn't love me. Regardless, I was active in the Church and preached lots, but never about queerness. It was too taboo. But my last time preaching, I chose to be BOLD. I was vulnerable and scared, but people enjoyed it. Others shared their experiences and thanked me for sharing mine. I wanted to speak to queer kids in the audience like me who felt alone in the Church. But because I was BOLD, I was successful and changed lives, including my own.

My favorite film of all time is Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. Directed by Edgar Wright and released in 2010, the movie was an instant indie classic. The film (based on a graphic novel series written by Bryan Lee O'Malley) takes place in Toronto, Canada, and features a 22-year-old guitarist named Scott Pilgrim. He, Stephen Stills, Kim Pine, and Young Neil are a part of a laughably bad rock band called Sex Bob-omb. Scott is dating Knives Chau, but when the new girl on the block, Ramona Flowers, moves to Toronto, Scott falls in love with her. He and Ramona hit it off, but Scott must defeat her 7 evil exes in order to date her. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is everything I want in a movie. The comedy is quick and witty, the effects are comic book-y and colorful, and the cast is critically acclaimed (Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jason Schwartzman, and Aubrey Plaza just to name a few). With the movie being about a band, there is a lot of good music in the soundtrack. A bunch of songs were written by Beck (famously known for the song "Loser", but when I was a kid my dad played "Hell Yes" for us religiously) and are riddled throughout the entire movie. Go listen to "Black Sheep" from the soundtrack, you won't regret it. The plot of the movie is unlike anything I have ever seen before. It's hilarious, emotional, and shows a real side of people. No matter how many times I watch it, I find something new to appreciate. Whether that's a joke I didn't catch initially, the aesthetic of a shot, or the setup of a scene, the movie never fails to put me in a good mood. It's perfect, and it changed my life.

My sophomore year of high school was my worst year for my mental health. I was in toxic friendships, my mother and grandmother had breast cancer, I was trying to convince myself I wasn't gay, and I was doubting my belief in God. My mind felt like a huge melting pot filled with all the things I couldn't handle, and when I thought it couldn't get worse, the Universe would sprinkle something else into the pot and stir it up. All of this and more built up and bottled up inside me. I felt like I was going to burst. I was incredibly depressed, caved (because I was too afraid to ask for help), and told my parents about what I was feeling. They encouraged me to see a psychiatrist and get tested for depression so I could move forward from there and get started with my next steps. I went and the psychiatrist asked me a bunch of questions about how I was feeling, how I was expressing my anger, and what I was doing during the day. I answered truthfully to all her questions, and in the end, she told me I did not have depression. I felt so invalidated. I convinced myself I was making everything up and that my feelings "weren't that bad" and that other people had it worse than I did. I was more lost than ever. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I was a senior in high school. I missed my graduation, prom, senior trips, and last concerts and had to stay locked up inside. My girlfriend and I broke up and I was losing contact with my friends. I had to unenroll from college because of COVID and enroll in my local online community college. I felt like a failure and like my life had taken such an unexpected turn. Since then, my mental health got so much worse. I was depressed, I depended on food for a sliver of happiness, I was having anxiety attacks multiple times a week, and I was not as dedicated and focused on school as I used to be. Because of this development, I decided to see another psychiatrist. I was incredibly anxious and scared that I would be told again that I was making up my feelings. But thankfully, that was not the case. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Binge Eating Disorder, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety, and Inattentive ADHD. What most people would see as a bad thing was a relief to me. I finally had a label for the things I was feeling. I had a word and a reason for being sad all day and wanting to stay in bed. For worrying so much about what new people thought about me and my food dependency. It made me so genuinely happy. This is incredibly recent. I just started a couple of medications to help with my disorders and I am seeking a therapist. This mental health journey I have found myself on has taught me so much. It's taught me to be patient and to trust the Universe. I always tell others "whatever happens is supposed to happen", but I did not start telling myself that until recently. I also have a different outlook on life. Upon researching more about my disorders and other mental health issues I do not have, I have learned so much and have found a newfound empathy. I have always been empathetic and been able to feel for people, but I have recently realized that things I may find annoying may be caused because of a disorder. I have also found that I need to be more gracious with my own self. I would treat my friends with patience, so why wouldn't I do it to myself? I deserve it. As I age, I know I will learn more and gain different perspectives and points of view, but I want to take these experiences into my future. To be patient, kind to all, empathetic, and gracious. Not only to the people I encounter but also to myself.

My parents got married in January of 2001. A Saturday morning, George W. Bush was being inaugurated as President of the United States. They had a small and cozy ceremony topped with formal wear, dancing, and cake. It was perfect. Because my mother is an only child, she wanted to have a big family. Therefore, I was born in 2002, my brother in 2004, my sister in 2005, and my youngest sister in 2009. With a family of 6, there is never a dull moment. But despite our huge family, I constantly felt alone. I have felt alone an abundance of times in my life. When my mom was receiving treatment for breast cancer. When my grandmother died. When I was bullied by peers and classmates. When I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Being alone constantly made me believe that I was not worth anyone's time. I told myself I took up too much space and that I wasn't worth anyone's time. Now thankfully, as I have aged, I have started to get out of this mindset. It is destructive, harmful, and incredibly toxic to a young woman growing up. And I am not perfect, so I still feel this way sometimes, but I now have the ability to catch it before it snowballs into something worse. I can assess my feelings and reach out to people I know have my back. My parents, friends, sister, and even a therapist. Because of my experiences with feeling alone and isolated, my greatest inspiration is to be there for someone when they need someone to hold onto. When I was younger, all I wanted was someone to cry to, vent to, run to, and I want to be that to someone. I see it as being that person my younger self needed. I am fueling my inner child as I help change people's lives. I am incredibly passionate about creating change. I crave for my career to genuinely impact and help people. I want my friendships and relationships to thrive on trust in each other and relying on each other to help when they are down. I have always been like this. Starting petitions, creating ideas, getting into leadership and opportunities, jobs, and more. I was put on this planet to change it, and I know for a fact I will. I am the right person for it. I am powerful, driven, inspired by the things and people around me, and ready to promote change and transform lives: others' and my own.

{TW: body image, eating disorders, thoughts of cutting} Other than being a woman, being fat was the first identity I realized about myself. I realized that I was bigger than my peers in every grade. I realized I was shopping in the adult section before my friends were. I realized that eyes were constantly on me when I went outside. I realized that I was experiencing different things than my skinny friends were...things that no one should have to experience. I was afraid to get lunch at school because I did not want to be perceived as fat. I whispered my shirt size to my choir director so the kids didn't know I wore a 2x. I was afraid of Ferris wheels, boats, and go-karts because I did not want to rock them too much or be watched while I got in and out of them. I was happy when I was sick because I would throw up and lose my appetite. I wanted to cut off my stomach with scissors. The lack of representation that fat girls have disgusting. When I was 6 years old (yes, SIX), I remember watching Glee and longing to get to high school so I would magically become skinny. Yes, we had Mercedes Jones, and I looked up to her a lot, but all of the other characters were skinny. It was ingrained in my mind that skinny was the default and I was disgusting for being anything other than "normal". Because of this lack of representation and the negative stigma surrounding being fat, I started to believe that being a fat woman was a bad thing. This happens to little girls all around the world. I hated my body and never felt comfortable in it. I constantly compared myself to my friends and peers and people I dated. It was a horrible, harmful, and toxic mindset to have. As time passed and social media was been introduced and normalized, I have been fortunate enough to find plus-size women that post on Instagram and other platforms. I started to diversify my feed and follow plus-size women. Seeing them on my feed tells me that it's okay to be fat. That it's okay to celebrate your body. I'm starting to unlearn all the harmful things I believed as a little girl. I am so grateful for the opportunity social media has to promote positive messages. One of my biggest female role models is Brittani Lancaster. She is a TikTok creator that became popular over COVID-19 quarantine. Her whole account is focused on body positivity, how to make yourself feel good, and eating disorder awareness and recovery. Brittani is the most kind, welcoming, accepting, and genuine creator on TikTok. Her videos never fail to make me feel loved and worthy. "Balance is key" is the biggest idea she spreads. Balance in food, mental health, activities, and just life in general. She does not shy away from talking about hard things, either. Her videos, podcast, and just overall presence has changed me for the better. Brittani is also queer, and so am I. Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community has given me a sense of family and dedication to fight for the right things. Fat women barely have representation, but queer fat women have it less. Brittani isn't necessarily fat, but she has put my thoughts into words. She has experienced what I experienced. I can relate to her so much and I am eternally grateful. Brittani Lancaster made me realize I have binge eating disorder and I was worth seeking recovery. Because of her, I have started seeking help. She genuinely saved my life. What she teaches is what I want to apply to my life and future careers. To love all. To treat our bodies with grace. To be patient with ourselves. To be passionate and dedicated. To be unapologetically me. Women are powerful. We have the ideas, thoughts, and passion to change the world. People like Brittani Lancaster are providing that change and teaching me to fight as well. I admire her so much, and I am so thankful for her contribution to my life.

Being a queer woman, I am societally put at a disadvantage, but being a part of the LGBTQ+ community has given me a sense of family and belonging. We are powerful, charismatic, passionate, and dedicated to creating change and promoting justice for our people. I am happy and honored to be a part of a group that fights so hard for liberation and power. Instagram: @sadie.pptx TikTok: @dry1ettuce

I see so many things in this world as art. The effort someone puts into a first date. The universal tension and excitement an audience goes through collectively before a concert begins. The act of cooking for someone. The reaction a couple has when they're told they're having a child. The selflessness of complimenting someone. All of this is art, so why isn't it considered artistic? Even though art is supposed to be something without rules and boundaries, society has found a way to box it in. All of these things have one thing in common: they all bring people together. My biggest artistic ambition is to create communities and make people happy. Art is people, and people are art. I have always been a fairly artistic person. I love to draw and paint with watercolors, experiment with recipes in the kitchen, and I even started my own earring business. But as I have aged, I realized that every aspect of life is art, especially the people in it. Without realizing it, people hold so much power. We have the opportunity to do so much, so why is it that we often don't? Are we scared of something backfiring? Are we afraid of being perceived as weird or silly? Are we afraid of breaking the artistic box? It has taken me a very long time to realize that I myself am art. Growing up, I thought the opposite. Believed the opposite. Told myself the opposite. But as I grew up more, I have finally recognized my power and my potential to make the world a better place. Below, I linked my Instagram page. Although a little corny (I will admit), that is artistic. I show myself as a person by being candid on social media. Talking about my struggles with mental health and eating disorders, LGBTQ+ rights and my experiences being a queer woman, POC and BLM activism, and just everyday photos that share a piece of who I am. I was created and put on this earth for a purpose. That purpose is to promote change. With this scholarship, I will be able to pursue my college education at Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogdoches, Texas. At SFA, I know I will learn the things needed to change the world. Minoring in Women and Gender Studies at SFA will give me an untapped insight into the history of women as well as how I can personally change our lives as women. Education is so important to my personal story. I am so eager to attend college, and it would be an honor to be a winner of this scholarship. I am the right person for it. Because women are systematically oppressed and marginalized, we are automatically put at a disadvantage when we have a dream. But my dream is to dismantle that hatred. I have such an immense passion to change the world we live in and to put my voice out there. I want to make people happy. I want to foster connections. I want to give women a platform. I want to bring people together. I want to make art.