I'm a composer. Not officially, by any title or educational degree (yet), but writing music is a huge part of my identity and my life. My most immediate project is best explained with some context. In October of 2020, I challenged myself to write a completed song every day. And, I succeeded! I spent every day working through the notation software, Musescore, to write a song of at least two minutes for any instrumentation, style or genre I felt inclined towards. An important aspect of the October Project was that I did all my work at the computer. With that said, beginning on May 1st of 2021, I've challenged myself again to write a song every day, but this time around I'm focusing specifically on writing songs I can sing to a crowd while accompanying myself on guitar or piano. Instead of notating everything on Musescore, I'm going to write these songs down as I play my instruments live, staying away from my laptop. The point of this is to exercise both general songwriting skills and my musical, lyrical intuition in ways that I hope to take to the stage. In March of 2021, I wrote a jazz/funk tune for piano, drums, and electric bass, called Think About It. I emailed the bass and drum parts to two friends I met through my school jazz band, and printed the piano part for myself. I've set dates throughout May for the three of us to meet at my house, go over and practice the music, and then make audio and video recordings of us playing the piece together. Ultimately, I'm hoping to play this trio live at a local music event, to showcase the incredible talent of my bassist and drummer, and to have the experience of playing my music live before I go off to college next semester. As part of the October Project, I wrote a piece for a percussion ensemble called Breeze. At school, during the marching season, I'm part of the front ensemble, through which I've become acquainted with some phenomenal percussionists. So, I messaged everyone in that circle I'd thought might want to play my piece, emailed them their parts, and messaged my band director to secure a place at school for us to practice. Currently, I'm working with my ensemble and band director on setting a schedule for all of us to gather and begin playing. The goal of this project is, first and foremost, to have fun with my percussion friends before we have to part ways. I want to record a high-quality video of us performing Breeze, and then perform live at our band's end-of-the-year concert. In the next few years, as I pursue a higher education and move to a city with a large music scene, one of my less plan-oriented ambitions is to meet, collaborate and perform with other musicians as much as possible. I want to start establishing myself locally as a strong jazz, pop, and classical player and composer that others can call whenever they need a musical hand. A more concrete dream, feeding off of meeting other musicians, is that I want to put together a versatile rock/jazz/indie band, with which I want to write, record, and produce at least one album. This desire comes from wanting to recreate my previous experience being in a garage band, where we released a ten-track album. Following my future band's album release, granted all the members are willing and able, I want to write as many songs as possible together, aiming to gain popularity with our music and support ourselves financially. Aside from my fantasy rock-star life, I believe my creative success will benefit from focusing on school. I'm going to UNT next year to study music composition, and hope to take full advantage of everything they have to teach me. I want to write oboe solos (that's currently my instrument of focus) and orchestral pieces for my peers to play - perhaps even for a school ensemble to play. I want to study film composition as well (and am planning a personal project for the future where I find a collection of short films and re-score them) to give myself another chance at financial sustenance, assuming my scores are profitable. So, why does any of this matter? Why do I do what I do? Why do I write, why do I challenge myself, why am I going off to study composition? In terms of the creeping necessities of adulthood, I compose so much to give myself a financially stable, artfully inclined life. Besides that, I write music because it's fun, because it's rewarding to finish a song and mentally take an admiring step back through the final listen-through. Because music is my source of healing, joy, expression, solace. Because writing music gives meaning to my life - it's a vessel through which I feel alive, but also through which I can help others. By writing music, I can give other people the chances to listen and feel comforted, to perform and be noticed, to bond and express themselves through playing or composing together. I'm not counting on major monetary success, but the chance that in the future my art will bring someone any shred of emotional understanding is my biggest reason for doing what I do. Music has given me so much - I want to use my compositions to pay it all forward.

If money wasn't an issue, the first thing I'd be concerned with is getting a quality, in-depth education. I would go to Berklee for a few years, and then Juilliard, taking full advantage of that higher education and all it provides. I would travel the world seeing concerts of every variety, and schedule lessons with every available professional musician. Herbie Hancock, Eugene Wright, Sammy Nestico, Yo-Yo Ma, Tigran Hamasyan, Jacob Collier, Han Zimmer, John Williams, Michael Giacchino, Finneas O'Connell, Billy Joel, Donald Glover, Hayley Williams, Stevie Nicks, and Daniel Ceaser are just a few of the people I would adore spending time with, to connect with them as fellow musicians and to learn everything they could possibly have to teach. My next focus would be to build a recording studio and bring in all kinds of high-end equipment. I'd get Logic Pro X and Pro Tools Ultimate and a new desktop computer, I'd have every microphone for every purpose, an endless supply of working power cords and guitar cords - I'd also get new instruments. I'd build a cello collection and get a five-string electric bass, a grand piano, and a church organ. I'd acquire a Hammond organ and a harp, a new electric guitar, a hollow-body electric guitar, and a twelve-string acoustic guitar. I would use my time to broaden my instrument palette and travel the world to test out and bring home any new instrument that interests me, even if I'd never heard of it before. I would invent instruments, sourcing materials from a variety of countries as well as other instruments to create vessels for never-heard-before sounds. I would practice like mad, spend days working on specific aspects of my playing technique and my attention to detail with every sound. I would hone my abilities to a level beyond those of today's typical professionals, commanding my every tone and movement with precision and intention, and continue to keep myself accountable with frequent lessons and upcoming performances with other people. If I didn't have to worry about paying the bills, I would write, arrange and produce music nonstop. I'd spend time immersing myself in musical stream-of-consciousness sessions, playing and recording anything and everything I want to convey and experiment with. I would fly people in from all over and record music with them, covers and originals, and put together bands and orchestras of varying sizes and genres as outlets for music applicable to those groups. I would do everything I could to immerse myself thoroughly into music and all of its secrets, and then I would share everything I've learned and rehearsed with other people. I'd share everything I discovered with other musicians, and share the music I create with those secrets with anybody willing to listen. If money wasn't an issue, I would spend my time becoming one of the best musicians in the world.

I've grown up around music; my dad is a band director, trumpet player, composer, arranger, and professor of commercial music, music history, and music theory. My mom is a band director, choir director, singer, organist, piano teacher, and flute teacher. I've been singing and playing piano since before I can even remember, started playing cello when I was eleven, oboe when I was twelve, and have been taking guitar classes for school this past year. When I'm not sleeping, eating, taking care of my pets, or doing homework, I'm usually locked away in a practice room. I've played in dozens of ensembles - All Region band and orchestra, community orchestras, piano duets, garage bands, volunteer praise groups, school band, jazz band, orchestra, etc. When I was in fifth grade, I began my composing journey when I wrote a song on the piano, called Galaxy. In my freshman year of high school, I wrote another piece for piano, called Pen. After that, composition became a firey source of ambition towards my music like nothing else. I became consumed with this new creative outlet, working on song after song to try and hone my musical maturity. Last October, I tasked myself with writing a new song every day, and after thirty-one melody-filled days, I succeeded. I think for me, the question is less of what the role of music is in my life as much as it is what the role of my life is towards music as a grand artwork. Music is made to be listened to, and I do a lot of listening. From sub-pop to hip-hop, classical, jazz, 20th Century, rap, folk, rock, classic rock, doo-wop, R&B, grunge, country; from Jacob Collier to Bob Dylan, I listen to everything. All types of music are the artist's creative expression - they're all trying to convey a certain message or create a certain sound. To be able to experience and try to understand how other musicians think and feel and express such through sound is a beautiful thing, and I try to take advantage of that sentiment as often as possible. This sentiment has helped me through my life to think about how others express themselves the way musicians do through music, guiding my perspectives in more empathetic directions. This music-inspired thought process has helped me connect with and provide support for so many people. Now, I'm a queer musician, for two reasons. One, as I said earlier, I play the oboe. Two, I'm neither heterosexual nor cisgender. Being "out" to my friends, but not my family has been a cause for feelings of isolation, alienation, embarrassment, misunderstanding, internalized homophobia, depression, and anxiety. Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community is wonderful, and the friends I've made and people I've come to love through these shared feelings (not just attraction-based, but more so on the premise of bonding as pack members in a cis-heteronormative society) are deeply cherished. As a musician who plays in a lot of group settings, I've been able to meet other closeted people who share my passion for sound. It's often said that music is the great communicator, and these experiences have revealed to me the truth of that statement. There is no homophobia when people make music together. There is no attraction-based alienation during concert rehearsals. Music is a safety net for queer people. Music is my refuge of belonging. So, what role does music play in my life? Well, what roles does music not play in my life? Listening, playing, and writing music are how I express myself and feel understood. It's how I tell other people the things I'm thinking and feeling, and how I understand those of other people. Music is what I turn to when I need to hear that I'm loved, that I'm accepted, that I have a place in the world. It's a part of my life that gives me purpose and freedom; peace and inspiration. Music challenges me to advance my playing skills and attention to detail. It provides a source of motivation for me to maintain a mindset of improvement, but it also gives me a place to rest. A few of my many long-term goals include starting volunteer-based orchestras, writing and producing songs with queer-supportive lyrics, teaching people to play instruments; to use my music to connect to anyone who feels in pain or alone because of who they are. I want to give other people what music has given me - music has given me life.