To be quite frank, mental health is something I struggle with to this day; however, I never want anyone to feel the ways I have been for the past six years. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II just this past year and anxiety, depression, and PTSD about four years ago. After being diagnosed, there was an increased stigma that I was “psycho” or “crazy” or even that one little hiccup should send me to a mental hospital. These are things that were directly said to me by people I genuinely cared about; needless to say, being diagnosed destroyed relationships because of how I was being viewed. Eventually, at two separate breaking points, I checked myself into the hospital for suicidal ideation. One of those times (this past year), I was at a college about four hours away from my parents and had to endure it alone. From this point on, I felt as though I needed to fight for myself BY MYSELF. Little did I know, there were several options for me such as therapy, antipsychotic medication, psychiatric institutions, and group therapy events. The most practical of those that helped the most were the antipsychotic medications and group therapy events; taking the medication and understanding other people's stories assisted in my personal growth. I no longer felt alone and was able to heal. My favorite of the group therapy events was a 5k for patients who struggle with mental illnesses. There were so many people who came in support of us–even people who were not a part of the program. This option–group events–is highly recommended because it assists in socialization, sharing of similar stories, and fun activities. I believe it is the most practical solution because while it seems nerve-wracking, it helped me overcome stigmas and feel like myself again.

In my twenty years of being alive, I have found that there are far too many things to answer when people ask this question The meaningS (plural) of life to me are to enjoy the little things and that you are never truly alone. It has taken me a lot of time to figure this out, but I do believe that despite changing every day, I have learned. Enjoy the little things in life; don't take a second for granted. Take that massive gulp of coffee that burns your tongue. Breathe in that fresh scent of autumn air from those mountains in Colorado your family always goes. Ask that stranger to dance. Do whatever it takes to "carpe the diem". When you do that, nothing else in the world will matter. I have always been a bold person and this hasn't always gone my way, but with a lot of practice, I have been able to find those fifty reasons to keep myself smiling. You are never truly alone; whether it is your nagging mom or a professor in a 200+ lecture, you always have someone by your side. There have been numerous dark times for me where I did not want to be alive, but it was the people who I pushed away that were always there for me. They always came back because they believed in my worth. For that, I will always be appreciative because if it weren't for them, I would not be here. By relying on more than one meaning of life, you will have so much more to offer to the world. You may not realize that it's what you need when you least expect it. These meanings of life are more than a cliché–you just might be happier when living by them.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, at least one-fifth of about forty-two million teens in America have issues with mental health: I am one of approximately eight million four hundred thousand teens who suffer. High school was the most challenging four years of my existence because of how difficult it was to cope with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder all at the same time. While the struggle was difficult, I did combat, overcome, and improve myself from hardships presented to me from mental health. My brain and I, who began as enemies, transitioned into an unlikely pair throughout the course of four years. People often ask how I discovered later than usual that something was different about my brain. During my freshman year, I took a large number of classes that I thought I could handle–classes that were meant for students who could handle five hours of homework a night. I did not know how to manage such a busy academic schedule because I participated in four extracurricular activities that took up the hours I should have spent studying. Either I had a positive academic work ethic and tiresome participation in activities or I worked very hard to succeed in my extracurriculars and slacked more academically. I could not find a middle ground. Little by little, at age fifteen, my brain and I disagreed on much more, causing me to have far more issues in the years to follow. Unfortunately, the battle with my brain was more intense because I began to experience what nearly every teen across America has: I tried to fit in and lost my sense of self. I was involved in many advanced courses and still took part in the same extracurricular activities, but I found a group that shaped me into a person I could barely recognize. Whenever I thought about decisions, I did not do what was right for me, but what others wanted me to do. Every hour of every day of that year, my self-worth completely disappeared and I was å shell of my former self. Eventually, I felt a shift in sadness that was unable to be handled on my own. I reached out to my parents and other loved ones, telling them that I no longer wanted to be alive. After some time of finally admitting to myself that I was not okay, I felt a sense of freedom open up inside of me. I sought out help from people who knew how and told them everything about my life, mental illnesses, and pain. Ever since that day, I am medicated, the conscience in my head has kicked in telling me to do the right thing, and my parents and I have come together. I finally started to accept that although I had mental illnesses, they did not define my persona. Positivity now consumes my life because I learned how to agree with my brain. At the end of the day, I needed to focus on being myself without the concern of being good enough for my teachers or friends. The only person I needed to be enough for was me. That was the first thing my brain and I unanimously decided. People frequently say that to find yourself you must trust yourself, but little do they know, the thing that can be relied on the most is already within you. Best friends may fight but in the end, it is how they rejoin and make each other better that matters the most; my brain and I will continuously remind each other of this every day.

In my twenty years of being alive, I have found that there are far too many things to answer when people ask this question The meaningS (plural) of life to me are to enjoy the little things and that you are never truly alone. It has taken me a lot of time to figure this out, but I do believe that despite changing every day, I have learned. Enjoy the little things in life; don't take a second for granted. Take that massive gulp of coffee that burns your tongue. Breathe in that fresh scent of autumn air from those mountains in Colorado your family always goes. Ask that stranger to dance. Do whatever it takes to "carpe the diem". When you do that, nothing else in the world will matter. I have always been a bold person and this hasn't always gone my way, but with a lot of practice, I have been able to find those fifty reasons to keep myself smiling. You are never truly alone; whether it is your nagging mom or a professor in a 200+ lecture, you always have someone by your side. There have been numerous dark times for me where I did not want to be alive, but it was the people who I pushed away that were always there for me. They always came back because they believed in my worth. For that, I will always be appreciative because if it weren't for them, I would not be here. By relying on more than one meaning of life, you will have so much more to offer to the world. You may not realize that it's what you need when you least expect it. These meanings of life are more than a cliché–you just might be happier when living by them.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was still learning about how my mental health impacts other people; eventually, I found out that I was struggling more than I ever had because I felt alone in the discovery process. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II just this past year and anxiety, depression, and PTSD about four years ago. After being diagnosed, there was an increased stigma that I was “psycho” or “crazy” or even that one little hiccup should send me to a mental hospital. These are things that were directly said to me by people I genuinely cared about; needless to say, being diagnosed destroyed relationships because of how I was being viewed. Eventually, at two separate breaking points, I checked myself into the hospital for suicidal ideation. One of those times (this past year), I was at a college about four hours away from my parents and had to endure it alone. From this point on, I felt as though I needed to fight for myself BY MYSELF. After that experience I decided it was time for change—I needed to find something to live for, so I volunteered in classrooms with students with special needs and events for mental health awareness and advocacy for patients. Within the classrooms, I became a leader by showing how students with disabilities could socialize with students without disabilities. I found that it was helpful for socialization for neuro-typical students and atypical students alike; the more that students without disabilities learned about those with disabilities, the more likely they were to be accepting and tolerant. I felt as though this was something that helped me become a leader because I demonstrated how two different types of people with two different worlds could collide and intertwine with each other. As for the events for mental health awareness, I used my experiences to motivate me and help others with similar issues. My favorite of the events was a 5k for patients who struggle with mental illnesses. There were so many people who came in support of us–even people who were not a part of the program. This option–group events–is highly recommended because it assists in socialization, sharing of similar stories, and fun activities. I believe it is the most practical solution because while it seems nerve-wracking, it helped me overcome stigmas and feel like myself again. My minuscule contribution within this 5k gave me the bright idea to spread what I learned to people in an educational setting—my high school. I talked to my principal about creating an entire week surrounding advocacy at the school and he agreed. Together, we called in clinical professionals, had activities, made announcements that educated people, and also had a sidewalk chalk day for creating a positive mural. Several of the students believed it was so successful that they carry this tradition to the high school every year since. In life, my difficulties with mental health could have made me give up on myself; there was a chance at one point that I would not even be standing here to share my story. However, I overcame what I was going through to help so many students come together to make a better environment; I believe that in doing that, I demonstrated how strong of a leader I can be. B becoming a leader at my school, I can safely say I overcame my difficulties with mental health; although mental health issues never go away, the skills I learned with special needs students and advocacy events shaped me into the person I am today.

Online learning throughout the pandemic was hard, but I found a passion for art through my online classes; my art is created online and I think that despite this, I am still an artist. It was not until my first Adobe Photoshop class over Zoom that I discovered how passionate I am about graphic design. I loved the way one single digit would differentiate each color. I love the way a line was more than a line but motion instead. I loved the way fair use images could be interpreted into my own work. This became something I was very passionate about because I knew that by practicing until my fingers became stiff and my screen gave me headaches, I would become the best graphic designer I could possibly be. After this course, I joined an introductory Zoom class for my minor —fashion design. I was taught how to create croquis drawings on paper. After doing this, I thought, “how would these paper designs look technologically?” and began to work. I sketched out styled jeans, tops, shoes, and every detail. This was the most expressive class I had ever experienced. Not only that, but when turning my designs in as Pantone seasonal prediction designs, I received the highest grade; this made me want to combine my graphic skills with my knowledge of fashion. Because of these skills, my artistic dreams include becoming a graphic designer for fashion companies using Adobe software and from there, a designer myself. I also am motivated to fight for designers' and artists' rights because I believe artists' work should be legally protected; eventually, I'll become a lawyer for designers because every artist deserves a chance to be seen without their work being stolen; that is something I would fight strongly for.

Online learning throughout the pandemic was hard, but I found a passion for art through my online classes; my art is created online and I think that despite this, I am still an artist. It was not until my first Adobe Photoshop class over Zoom that I discovered how passionate I am about graphic design. I loved the way one single digit would differentiate what a color was. I love the way a line was more than a line but rather a movement. I loved the way fair use images could be changed and interpreted into my own work. This became something I was very passionate about because I knew that by practicing and practicing until my fingers became stiff and my screen gave me headaches, I would become the best graphic designer I could possibly be. After this course, I joined an introductory class for my minor also over Zoom—fashion design. I was taught how to create croquis drawings on paper. After doing this, I thought, “how would these paper designs look technologically?” and began to work. I sketched out styled jeans, tops, hair on the bust forms, shoes, and any detail down to the color of the fingernails. I found that this was the most expressive class I had ever experienced. Not only that, but when turning my designs in as color predictions/analyses from Pantone, I received the highest grade for the most effort; I was also showcased to the class as an example for high success. This made me want to combine my graphic skills with my knowledge of fashion. If I received this scholarship, all of the funds would be directly allocated towards a study abroad trip I intend on taking to the Fashion and Design capital of the world- Milan, Italy. This trip’s itinerary includes self-exploration in design, art, and fashion classes that all would teach me a different perspective on other things; I feel as though this trip is meant for me and my design skills. My graphic and fashion skills will be heightened by global professionals who would show me what it is like to be in this career; they would show me exactly where I want to be and how to become the best artist possible. If I receive this scholarship, my drive towards my ambitions of graphic art representing my emotional take on fashion will soar and I will be able to thrive.

To be quite frank, mental health is something I struggle with to this day; however, I never want anyone to feel the ways I have been for the past six years. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II just this past year and anxiety, depression, and PTSD about four years ago. After being diagnosed, there was an increased stigma that I was “psycho” or “crazy” or even that one little hiccup should send me to a mental hospital. These are things that were directly said to me by people I genuinely cared about; needless to say, being diagnosed destroyed relationships because of how I was being viewed. Eventually, at two separate breaking points, I checked myself into the hospital for suicidal ideation. One of those times (this past year), I was at a college about four hours away from my parents and had to endure it alone. From this point on, I felt as though I needed to fight for myself BY MYSELF. Little did I know, there were several options for me such as therapy, antipsychotic medication, psychiatric institutions, and group therapy events. The most practical of those that helped the most were the antipsychotic medications and group therapy events; taking the medication and understanding other people's stories assisted in my personal growth. I no longer felt alone and was able to heal. My favorite of the group therapy events was a 5k for patients who struggle with mental illnesses. There were so many people who came in support of us–even people who were not a part of the program. This option–group events–is highly recommended because it assists in socialization, sharing of similar stories, and fun activities. I believe it is the most practical solution because while it seems nerve-wracking, it helped me overcome stigmas and feel like myself again.

My playlist name would have to be “Sarah’s Declassified College Survival Guide” because growing up, Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide was my favorite show on television. I feel like I would want to emulate how Ned gave tips and tricks for different scenarios. I also just think it would be a funny name for a playlist with several different songs. Song number one on my album would be Treat People With Kindness by Harry Styles because it gives off a positive vibe that started out my college experience. Treating people with kindness was my main motive and method to making friends. Song number two would be Undefeated by Rayana Jay because I have gone through a lot within my experience but have not been knocked down yet. Song number three would be Hurricane by Kanye West and The Weeknd because while I was going through everything, I found faith in God. Thats what the song sort of stands for within the lyrics and I relate to it a lot because my faith in God has definitely strengthened. Song number four on the playlist is FourFiveSeconds by Rhianna, Kanye West, and Paul McCartney. Not only is this song vocally challenging, but I feel like it describes a lot of college students’ moods—going to lose their minds but eventually fine as soon as it turns into a Friday with friends. Personally, I count down the says until Friday and I know my friends do the same. Song five on the playlist is When The Party’s Over by Billie Eilish because I get into this mood after having a wild weekend where I do not want to be around anyone. At the same time, the song is about a girl who does anything for the relationship she is in but it is not reciprocated. Unfortunately for me, this has happened more than a few times throughout college. Song six is going to be Crazy by Hunter Hayes. I personally love this song because I know that in relationships, there is always one spontaneous person; fortunately for whoever I end up with in the future, that person will be me. I know I am spontaneous and wild and it takes a special someone–the person I have spent a lot of time searching for–to handle it. The final song in my playlist is Young, Wild, and Free by Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, and Bruno Mars. While everything gets hectic and I make mistakes, I have to remember that it is because college had given me newfound freedom at a young age. This song makes me realize that I’m young and will make mistakes but it will shape me into a better adult. However, I’m allowed to make these mistakes because I’m learning. Bonus: Sarebear had been a nickname for me since I was little, so I think my artist name would be Sarebear. Everyone calls me it to this day, so it is only fitting.

One of the biggest things I have struggled with in life has been mental health. When I was a sophomore in high school, I was still learning about how my mental health impacts other people; eventually I found out that I was struggling more than I ever had because I felt alone in the discovery process. It even went as far as going to the emergency room to deal eith suicidal ideation. I did not want to be alive anymore because I was so surrounded with negative thoughts. After that experience I decided it was time for change—I needed to find something to live for, so I volunteered in classrooms with students with special needs and at Mental Health Awareness weeks for advocating how to help patients. Within the classrooms, I became a leader by showing how students with disabilities could socialize with students without disabilities. I found that it was helpful for socialization for neuro-typical students and atypical students alike; the more that students without disabilities learned about those with disabilities, the more likely they were to be acceptant and tolerant. I felt as though this was something that helped me become a leader because I demonstrated how two different types of people with two different worlds could collide and intertwine with each other. As for the events for mental health awareness, I used my experiences to motivate me and help others with similar issues. I went to parades, 5k’s, concerts, and fundraisers to build awareness for the cause. My minuscule contribution gave me the bright idea to spread what I learned to people in an educational setting—my high school. I talked to my principal about creating an entire week surrounding advocacy at the school and he agreed. Together, we called in clinical professionals, had activities, made announcements that educated people, and also had a sidewalk chalk day for creating a positive mural. There was no one else who aided in the creation of this week but me and my principal and it overall was successful. Several of the students believed it was so successful that they carry this tradition to the high school every year since. In life, my difficulties with mental health could have made me give up on myself; there was a chance at one point that I would not even be standing here to share my story. However, I overcame what I was going through to help so many students come together to make a better environment; I believe that in doing that, I demonstrated how strong of a leader I can be.

To be quite frank, mental health is something I struggle with to this day; however, I never want anyone to feel the ways I have been for the past six years. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II just this past year and anxiety, depression, and PTSD about four years ago. After being diagnosed, there was an increased stigma that I was “psycho” or “crazy” or even that one little hiccup should send me to a mental hospital. These are things that were directly said to me by people I genuinely cared about; needless to say, being diagnosed destroyed relationships because of how I was being viewed. Eventually at two separate breaking points, I checked myself into the hospital for suicidal ideation. One of those times (this past year), I was at a college about four hours away from my parents and had to endure it alone. From this point on, I felt as though I needed to fight for myself BY MYSELF; this tampered with my relationship with my parents significantly because they knew otherwise. In the middle of all of this, I discovered that I could help people by sharing my story. This is something I looked into and decided that I wanted to contribute to society by potentially becoming a lawyer–which was my dream beforehand– but instead of fighting for designers, I would advocate for patients. After my experience in the hospital, I realized that some people do not have as positive of an experience as me. There were patients who were depressive like me who were being chained up against their will, unable to order food like I was, and were alone in a dark room (truly by themselves). One girl had locked herself in the bathroom because she couldn’t decide for herself whether or not she should be admitted to the psychiatric facility—you could almost tell that that is not what she wanted to do. For me, however, I was let go because I did not have a plan for committing suicide; I had felt like I wanted to die but did not have a written plan, so they let me go without referring me to any psychologists in the area. It is inequality like this that makes me believe some people should be represented legally. Of course, every patient has their own capabilities in decision making; some people directly cannot choose for themselves. But I feel as though the process should surround the patient more; the experience is not personable in the slightest and I feel as though this does not help the patient. If I became a lawyer for mental health patients, I would be able to give patients a voice in their experience and their rights. I would analyze cases where rights were completely stripped of them (such as some “psych ward horror stories” that have been shared online) and provide a specific answer for patients. Correlating to those severe experiences, I know that some will be true and some will be false. I understand that the distinction is unclear because of how mental health is portrayed in the media. However, for the abuse cases that are true, someone needs representation; I want to be that person. I know my experience has not been the same as others because I was not sent to a psychiatric facility, but in viewing the people I was with who were admitted, I know they have a similar opportunity to how it could go. I want to prevent abuse stories from happening especially to people who I was in the room with–you never know how they will end up after coming out from the unit. I want it to be my job to fight for people to have a positive experience and to come out of the unit healthy and with a clear mind. I know that I may mot have had this experience, but I firmly believe that psychiatric units are installed to help patients instead of scare or harm them; patients deserve a right of experience, which is what I want to make happen.