While I struggled with my self-worth, I believed I did all I could to be happy. In truth, I had no good words when I looked at myself; this started when I was as young as eight years old. I never thought that I was pretty,  worth being myself, or good enough for anyone, and maybe what made it the hardest for me at the time was this cynical view of the world that I clung to. So, in all honesty, it has not been until recently that I decided that I had real goals, meaning that now in my eyes, these goals are worth something that I can call real. When I say goals, I mean my personal goals. The ones pushed away from me by myself when I felt hopeless. These individual goals have shifted to those of desire for money to a desire to make a difference in those lives who experienced my pain and worse. Most importantly, this is for the youth. Because I know from personal experience that nowadays mental health has been plunging for the youth at concerning rates, I know that today I can do something different for those children who need help the most.  My focus on relationships has shifted; I feel more love and joy in my companionships. I no longer feel empty when loved, nor do I chase others for the sake of approval; this has played into my finding worth in myself. I’ve learnt that learning to love yourself is one of the most challenging yet essential things to enjoy your relationships, you shouldn't chase a crowd when deep inside you’re aware that they don't have your best interest for you, in fact they think of themselves. When it comes to this world, especially, me being aware that no person is perfect. I have always been aware of that, and maybe my cynical viewpoint came from leeching off of who I was closest to. In all honesty, I sometimes hear how my family speaks before even meeting individuals, I look back at my mentality, which has always been that everyone in this world is here to thrive or die, in retrospect this played into the reason for why my goals were so focused on the earning and why my relationships were so empty. Overcoming my view that I lacked purpose meant killing the tree that held those mentalities; therefore, when I looked at people, I wanted to know them for who they are, not for my original interpretation through how many friends they had or how much I never saw people mocking them. Overcoming the things that made me less able to enjoy life, my personal goals changed from the existence of a financial reward to the possibility of helping those in need. Along with that, my goals have become more family-oriented. One day, I want to be a mother, and I want to use the rewards I reaped to help the children of my future reach any goals they have. My relationships have shifted to being thankful for who I have in my life, no longer leaving behind the people who made me feel content, for those who had likely never cared for me. My patience with my friends has increased because of the awareness that no person can be perfect. We make mistakes, and as friends, family, or even future members of teams, we have to pick each other up to allow the best of all of us to come. Lastly, my view of the world has changed, with the understanding that there are many awful things in this world, but when someone demonstrates the willpower and the heart to make a change, they can make this world a better place. There will never be utter perfection, and accepting that while reaping what is good in life has brought me to the conclusion that all individuals have a future worthy of staying here for.

Over the years, I have had much time to think of my dreams, what I wish to accomplish, and how I will achieve those things. Now, when I think of my current dreams of being a psychologist for adolescents, I see that there is still much room for improvement, yet I know that that is what my youth is for. I know that I deserve to follow my dreams, to be able to strive towards them and eventually achieve them. I continuously take honor in my opportunities, when many may not get the chance. I have advanced in my focus in my community, placing importance and commitment on the roles that I currently have, both in student government and in the sports that I decide to commit myself to each season. I do this because I understand that I am here for a purpose, and to throw away any of these opportunities would be disrespecting myself and those who believe in who they know I am.  I understand that I will have to place commitment in what I will do in the future, knowing that the payoff will not just be handed to me; instead, I have to plant seeds in my life with the desire to help it grow. There will be obstacles to my dreams, which will always be true as long as you do something to achieve them, whether they are for yourself, others, or for a cause that inspires you to act. Those in my life who have committed have achieved their goals, those whom I look up to have acted, and people looking up to them are just the outcomes of them deciding to follow a dream. No one deserves to have a dream unless they are willing to run towards it, because a dream without action is just a thought. I will not allow my dreams to be thoughts because I know that just one person can make a difference in another's life.  If I make the effort to bring joy to the lives of the youth who have lost it so early in life, I can assist in the development of successful and confident individuals in our society. Therefore, I am worth the dreams I desire to achieve because I act. I won't allow my dreams to be in vain, nor will I give another person the privilege to push me down and keep me stagnant. My intentions for what I receive are to advance in this dream, which includes my opportunities that I have learnt to grab and advance in. Overall, gratitude is the most important thing, I give it in response to this opportunity. The chance to earn something for revealing the significance of my dreams is nothing short of benevolent.

Faith in Christ doesn’t just build you, it changes you. Throughout my time believing that Jesus saved my life I've been more invested in the community than I’ve ever been, from the organization of Bible study with fellow students in my high school to the use of the internet to speak on the Gospel with people that likely I will never see in person, an advancement in my faith and a way to show love to those who have been far from it. Before I found God, my leadership style was in vain. I was more of an unsuccessful follower, saying things that should have never come from my mouth and falling into a deep uncertainty in my life. It was unfortunate to say, but for a long time, I was hopeless, like many others in this world. Since surrendering my life to Christ I no longer follow the world, instead, I’ve chosen to lead by example, believing that someone will see my life and hopefully learn a thing; with those possibilities, and believing that I can be used despite what I’ve done in the past I’ve pushed through temptations to disobey authority, making snarky comments on people, or live in the many sins that kept me under chains for almost a decade, I have faith that leading by example has been successful, I’ve been told by friends and acquaintances that they’re inspired by the way that I live and I hope that I can continue being an example, not out of my honor, in retrospect I have imperfections that are being revealed to me constantly. Rather out of honoring the Word, knowing that a leader is there to serve. One of the times that I led someone through faith was with my sister in Christ, whom I consistently engage in Bible study with. Though I only met her this year due to her being considered underclassmen, I believe that I’ve led her. We’ve had conversations and I try my best to engage in them truthfully because I'm serving her, and in a way, I see that she’s served me as well. Within these experiences that I had with her was a time where I showed vulnerability, recently having someone close to me leave to be with the Lord, I continued the Bible Studies. Despite the ache in my heart, I continued to have faith in the fact that the Lord is all things good. When I think of her, I have faith that if she experiences such a thing she’ll also understand that the Lord called someone home, who are we to complain about someone leaving the world to be with The Father? This experience shaped my vision of the future because the Lord had grown me immensely in that time. I've learned what it means to be used by him. I want to end this on a note of gratitude towards the Build and Bless Foundation because my intentions for this are to further my education as an undergraduate after the completion of my high school education. Thank you for providing this opportunity to write an essay on leadership in Christ and for the chance to receive this scholarship.

Before I found the Lord I was heavily invested in what I knew made money, with what I saw online, and with what I invested in my own life more than I could anyone else. Deep inside when I tried to fledge myself into an interest of being a lawyer, I knew that my main motivation was the large salary. What that meant was my heart was set on the cash and not the concern for the progression of my psychological state. I followed the world, even with a worry for the future and what would happen following a departure from it. At the time, those things were my idols. Nowadays I set my sights on psychology, specifically for adolescents. This is out of concern for those once lost like me. And Now when I think of it, the strange coincidence is that I was convinced to look into the gospel by a Youth Alive ministry in my high school. I never thought that in that summer I would give my life to Jesus. When I reflect on my past, full of lost hope, finding things on the internet that no child of that age should have any access to, and the utter humiliation that I subjected myself to both acting in ways that I shouldn’t have ever and going along with those who I knew had no good intentions for my life; I find a reason to continue following God, who I once found myself mocking and to look at those who were once in my position with a heart of love. When I realized that I was not alone, my eyes were opened to the fact that there were so many people who continue to feel the loneliness that once was a chain in my life; what made me want to go into the field of psychology for adolescence was the fact that many have felt that way since they were young children. Throughout my path in Christianity, I found that finding peace in life wasn’t dependent on a grade or the affirmation from the outside world, especially since when being guided by the Holy Spirit and having sins, there will always be something that you must learn through every stage of your life. Rather, I found peace when I had to deny myself, push down the idolatry that I once had for funds, myself, and the favor of the world; and just like the Word says, I have a peace that surpasses all understanding. When I began to serve, I found growth and a want to progress. As of now, I serve in my church's daycare and the hospitality ministry, this allows me to grow in my interactions with all ages and learn about collaboration. The experience of serving has significantly increased my work ethic. I find myself working towards opportunities instead of pushing them away because of any difficulty that I am bound to be confronted with. I feel that this has caused a change in my aspirations. I certainly feel like a new person in both what I strive for and what I do in the present day. With a career in psychology as a long-term goal, I am working towards increasing my volunteering portfolio through opportunities and programs offered in my high school; which include being the manager of the volleyball team during my sophomore year, event services, and volunteering opportunities offered throughout the Arizona Valley; internship opportunities, which I am currently looking for through postings online and in hallway bulletin boards in my high school campus and, increase my current GPA to achieve Merit-based scholarships and earn AP and college classes in my Junior and Senior year to both further ease the cost of college and add achievements to my college application. So far I am working with what I currently have to enhance my portfolio as a student through extracurricular activities to unlock more opportunities, reaping what I sow into my high school career. My current extracurricular activities include show choir, where members sing for school events, this includes the national anthem, and practiced songs that are sung during the quarterly fine arts assembly; occasionally show choir will sing for organizations like care homes for example, elder residencies; sports including track and field, flag football and basketball, which supports a sportsmanship mentality; and student government which plans the bulk of school events, including seasonal barbecues, pep assemblies, proms and fundraisers for the continuation of these events, with students government, communication, decision making, and leadership is influenced through the program. Earning the “Pastor Thomas Rorie JR. Christian Values Scholarship” will allow me to ease the cost of college, enable more time to provide for future internships and extracurricular activities that would otherwise be less accessible, and enable me to focus on my studies both in the present and the future. The award of this scholarship will progress me towards my long-term goal of being a psychiatrist to help those in need. Going into the undergraduate years of the college education in which I will pursue my bachelor's degree, this scholarship will assist me through those years, following that progress into medical school to receive my doctorate, I will have less of a concern for funds due to the lightened cost of receiving my bachelors degree. Through my work of continuing to increase my portfolio through volunteering, internships, extracurriculars, and effort in my high school career. As I do these things, my focus no longer stands on the amount of pay achieved by my future career, and my idolatry for what I receive no longer breathes, I have certainly died to myself therefore feeling peace, continuing to stand in confidence that I have a foundation in Jesus Christ of Nazareth. As this scholarship will go towards my bachelor’s degree starting in 2027 and graduating during 2031, I would like to end this on a note of gratitude for the opportunity to submit an essay for a chance to earn this scholarship. Thank you for offering this family of Pastor Thomas Rorie Jr, peace be with you.