Just because you can't physically count their ribs or see their collarbone through their shirt, does not mean someone isn't struggling with an eating disorder (ED). I am one of those people. Eating disorders can look different for everyone, so it can be really difficult to tell if someone is struggling. Our society often only portrays eating disorders as a lifestyle choice, when they are in fact mental disorders. I developed my ED in high school. I actually did not even know it was an ED at the time because no one ever talked about it. I struggle with an ED called binge eating disorder. Now, if you look at me at first glance, you probably wouldn't guess I have an eating disorder because I am relatively normal in height and weight for my age. However, that's not what defines an eating disorder. An eating disorder is about control. At the beginning of high school, many things that were out of my control happened to me. But what was something I could control? Food. So that became my way of taking back the reigns on my life. Although not actually, because the thing I felt I could control eventually would control me. Living with an eating disorder has taught me the importance of prioritizing it. I now know how to look for things that trigger me and know when I need to take a step back. One of the biggest tools that have helped me with my specific illness is the idea of balance. After analyzing past patterns, I have learned that my binges are often followed when I restrict myself. By completely allowing myself to have food freedom, I have significantly decreased my binge cravings. Being educated about your struggles and learning coping mechanisms that work for you is so important with mental illness. Maintaining my mental health is important to me so that I can focus on more important aspects in my life. For example, there were times when I would turn down an opportunity to go to dinner with friends because I didn't like the idea of not knowing what kind of food was going into my body. Doesn't that sound silly? I don't want my struggles to hinder the experiences and opportunities in my life. Because this topic is so important to me, I have decided to become a mental health nurse. I want to be a nurse because I want to have these types of conversations with patients and see their lives change for the better. As nurses, we see people on some of the worst days of their lives. Just recently, I had a clinical rotation at a mental health facility where I got to talk to a girl who attempted suicide. Being able to talk with her and understand the roots of her mental illness was very eye-opening to me. It made me realize that we all have similar struggles in our lives. We just need support and the right tools to be able to take those next steps to turn our lives around.

Just because you can't physically count their ribs or see their collarbone through thier shirt, does not mean someone isn't struggling with an eating disorder (ED). I am one of those people. Eating disorders can look different on everyone, so it can be really difficult to tell if someone is struggling. Our society often only portrays eating disorders as a lifestyle choice, when they are infact mental disorders. I developed my ED in high school. I actually did not even know it was an ED at the time because no one ever talked about it. I struggle with an ED called binge eating disorder. Now, if you look at me at first glance, you probably wouldn't guess I have an eating disorder because I am fairly normal height and weight for my age. However, that's not what defines an eating disorder. An eating disorder is about control. In the beginning of high school, a multitude of things happened to me that were out of my control. But what was something I could control? Food. So that became my way of taking back the reigns on my life. Although not actually, because the thing I felt I could control eventually would control me. Now, I could go on and explain all the darkness of my eating disorder, but I would like to focus more on how it has changed my life and the career I want to pursue. Having an eating disorder has taught me the importance of seeking help and talking to people in your life when you are struggling. This is way harder said than done for people with a mental illness. It's extremely difficult to be vulnerable and share this side of yourself, especially with the stigma surrounding mental health. However, when you do make that decision, you realize it is the best one you will ever make because you learn you are not alone. Sharing your story allows you to connect with so many others who have been in a similar situation to yourself. I have made some of my closest friends by being able to relate on some of the darkest times in our lives. Being able to discuss these struggles with others and see the positive change has given my life a whole new purpose and meaning. I know I want to be a nurse because I want to have these types of conversations with patients and see their lives change for the better. As nurses, we see people on some of the worst days of their lives. Just recently, I had a clinical rotation at a mental health facility where I got to talk to a girl who attempted suicide. Being able to talk with her and understanding the roots beneath her mental illness was very eye-opening to me. It made me realize that we all have similar struggles in our lives. We just need support and the right tools to be able to take those next steps to turn our lives around. Being able to be a key part of that change in people's journeys is the sole reason I am becoming a mental health nurse.