Are you okay? These were three simple words I wish I was asked more from the people I looked up to. I was always closed off and introverted in my school career, and I never opened up about my emotions. I felt that I was burdening them with my hardships and difficulties if I were to talk about my mental health. Although mental health was always advocated for in school, they never taught the more complicated areas of mental health. Where there are people like me who would mask how they felt constantly. If I was asked "Are you okay?" maybe I would've been more open to talk about my issues. Mental health has always been a topic I have heavily advocated for. I wish we would talk about it more in schools when students truly need it the most. I went through the hardest times in my life in middle school and high school. Just because mental health is talked about does not mean that it automatically cures all. Communication between one another is the most important factor. The lack of communication from people in schools, even the counselors is a major problem. There was a time in 7th-8th grade when my older sister was kicked out, my grandpa had passed, and my nephew passed at a few months old. My mom wasn't allowing me to see my sisters and would yell at me if she felt that my sisters were "brainwashing" me into thinking she was a bad mom. I went to my school counselor to talk about how I was feeling. I told her that I felt so alone, that I was hurting myself, that my grades were slipping, and I had no motivation to clean or do things I enjoyed. She told me that it was just puberty. She then called my father and explained to him what happened and told him that it was just puberty. I have never felt so invalidated in my life. I never talked about how I felt after that. Until it was my junior year of high school. I was sexually harassed and stalked for 3 months until I broke down in my friends' arms. I went to the office and made a report, it took another 4 months for them to investigate my case and kick him out of the school. People after all this happened would tell me, " I noticed you were acting different." Why are people so afraid of asking if someone is okay, it is just a few words, but they hold so much meaning and power. If I was asked this earlier when people noticed I was acting different then things would have been different. Everything I have been through and faced in my life has led me to my dream career choice and my advocacy for mental health. My goal in life has been to help people, especially the people who cannot speak up for themselves. I want to be that voice for the ones who have no voice. I studied criminal justice in high school for two years and I researched the mental health of inmates and whether mental illness correlates with incarceration rates. Mental health is not talked about in the justice system and that includes mental help for cops. My criminal justice professor advocated heavily for better mental health programs for cops after he tried to take his life after 9/11. I want to be able to help the people in jails that no one is advocating for, or the cops that people assume do not need the help.

I was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis type 1 when I was a baby. Neurofibromatosis is a condition or disability that causes differing skin pigmentation and tumors along nerves. In my case, I have a brain tumor that starts at my right eye to my right ear. I remember as a kid not knowing about my condition. I just knew I was different, I had to go to the hospital monthly for MRIs, I had constant eye appointments, I had a tan-colored spot in my eye and I also had spots on my skin. With a condition this rare it was hard for me to understand the worry my mom had about me. My mom never really explained my condition to me, I think she didn't want me to worry. She just let me know I had learning disabilities and dyslexia. I remember when my mom realized my hips looked odd. She took me in for an appointment with my neurologist a few weeks later. Since NF is such a rare condition they had researchers in the hospital. I remember they were all touching my hip bones and spine as they took notes. That day I was diagnosed with acute scoliosis. On top of already struggling in school with my learning disabilities, I also had chronic back pain. This is when I started doing my research. I found out that I was able to get surgery, but if I did the tumor could grow back cancerous or I could go blind and deaf in my right eye and ear. I began to understand my mom's fear of what could happen and constantly worry that my condition would worsen with age. Luckily as I got older we had to go to the hospital less often. My last visit affected me the most. I was told that if I have kids they will have NF and that it could be the same or worse than mine. For a long time, I said I never wanted kids, but once I was told my kids would have my condition or worse something changed. Suddenly, I wanted kids, but I wanted to make sure I could provide them with the care they needed. I don't want anyone to experience feeling so alone, no one understood how singled out I felt. I hope in the future there will be more things available for people with neurofibromatosis. I want my kids to grow up with people who understand them and how they feel and think. I grew up feeling misunderstood and it destroyed my mental health. I never want anyone to go through that feeling.