Social anxiety affects a large quantity of the human population and in many ways. For those who do not suffer from it, it is very difficult to understand. “Why can you just say something?”, “What’s the harm in talking?”; these are very commonly asked questions. Unfortunately, for the sufferer, there is harm in it. For around twelve years, the majority of my school life, I suffered from a severe anxiety disorder known as Selective Mutism. It has been a year and a half since I ‘beat’ my disorder, and I live my life much happier than I did when I suffered greatly from it. Although it is possible to get better, you can never truly beat a disorder like this. Even if you get over the hardest parts, the effects still remain. I still feel the symptoms of it today, experiencing panic if I am prompted to speak in front of people who I am not very comfortable with. Just two years ago, I could not speak to my friends and family in a public setting. I could not ask for help with a task or even ask to go to the bathroom when needed. Whenever I was prompted to speak or do something in front of a large crowd it was as if my body was physically keeping me from doing the task, gluing my lips shut, making my legs so weak to the point where I could barely walk, and making my heart beat so hard to the point it felt as if it was beating outside of my chest. As people pushed me more and more for me to talk, I would dig my heels in the dirt even harder and sew my mouth shut even tighter. The only people I would speak to were my very close friends, my mother, and my brother. After my father died and my mom found a new boyfriend, we eventually moved into his house. Unfortunately, I could not talk to him or his son. This made my disorder barge into my own home, making it so I could only speak if it was only my mother or my brother in the room, which was very rare once everyone was home. This made my life much lonelier. Throughout my school life, up until the second half of high school, I struggled with making friends, forming relationships with teachers, and getting help whenever I needed it. It made me feel like an outcast and made me second guess if my friends liked me or not. Today, I am finally able to have good relationships with people, get help for myself when needed, and help others who are struggling with their anxiety. By going to college for psychology, I will both be able to understand myself and help others understand and conquer their anxiety. My biggest goal in pursuing a college degree is to obtain the materials that I need in order to help others, both people who are affected and those who are not alike.