I have struggled with mental health longer than I realized. I have always been a sort of nervous person overthinking every situation I have faced. As a child I can remember sitting at home and just feeling uncomfortable, a feeling I would feel off and on for years. This uncomfortable feeling has dictated so many relationships in my life. I never felt like I was enough as a daughter, a sister, or friend. If I was invited anywhere I would make up a reason not to go which resulted in not having very many friends, and the friends I did have we weren’t as close as we could have been. Mental health is something I didn’t start understanding until recently. I grew up with an alcoholic mother. As a teenager I was so angry with her not understanding why she wouldn’t just be sober. She ended up getting sick and dying when I was 17 years old. As an adult who’s been through counseling I look back and I can see her depression loud and clear, it haunts me because I feel like I should’ve done more for her or at the very least been patient. The traumas that have led to my mental health not being the strongest have also led me in the right direction. I decided to work with children because I can remember being that anxious child too scared to ask questions. I get to be their advocate, their safe place at school. I work at an elementary with an amazing boss. In 2021 I lost a cousin who I grew up with like a sister, to suicide. I pushed away the hurt until I couldn’t anymore. At the start of 2022 I began spiraling into a deep depression. I was having suicidal ideation and extreme anxiety resulting in many panic attacks. My boss was one of the many people here for me and helped me find the help that I needed so badly. For years I was so ignorant to mental health thinking it couldn’t get that bad. I have always been the type to brush it off and ignore it until I couldn’t. I started medication and slowly began to feel better. Before medication I was working out, changing my diet, and seeing a counselor. I believe that my own experiences with mental health will make me a better person. I will be more empathetic and I now have more tools that I can share with others who are struggling. I feel as though I let down the two people who meant so much to me but through their loss I learned knew skills. I have learned breathing techniques, coping skills, and so much more. Where I work I have worked with many children who have lost parents or other close relatives and I have been a safe place for them to grieve. I’ve had children open up to me which has meant so much because I want to be able to help them through anything. Through my own mental health journey I know that I can be an advocate for others who need it.

I have worked with children since my senior year if high school, 2011. It’s then that I realized being in the teaching field was my passion. After high school I studied elementary education but after working in an early headstart program I quickly realized that early childhood was more suiting. I began studying for my associates of applied science degree in early childhood. While continuing to work and go to school I received my degree. I was so happy I never thought I’d go to college let alone obtain a degree. Not long after working at the headstart I decided to start working as a behavior interventionist at a local elementary, primarily in the preschool classroom. I began to realize that through the many trainings I’ve gone through I’ve never quite gotten the knowledge I wanted for my job. As an interventionist I work with children who have special needs and a lot of the trainings I had were more directed towards children who don’t struggle with learning. With that in mind I decided I’m going back to school. In August 2022 I will be attending LCSC to obtain a bachelors degree in general education for early childhood education with a minor in special education for early childhood education. Pursuing this degree I hope to find the answers I need to make me the best advocate and interventionist for the children I work with. I need to know the best tools to help these children succeed. Often times the curriculum lacks these tools for special needs children. Too many times I’ve found myself helping a child in a classroom and they have no idea what they’re doing. Going back to school I hope I can lessen the gap by intervening in pre-k. With the right tools I believe that I can help the children I work with by starting them off as on track as I can get them. I’m hoping I’ll learn new strategies that are geared towards children that have delays that contribute to their learning disabilities. I am an enrolled member of the Nez Perce tribe and the elementary I work at is on the Nez Perce tribe reservation. What I love about my job and going back for a higher education is that I am directly giving back to my community. I grew up here and attended the same elementary. It is a blessing to be able to give back and support the children and their parents as a community member who understands the struggles and successes that come with living here. As a working mother of three young children anything helps and I hope I am awarded this scholarship.