"Just stop thinking about it", "it's not that hard", and "Snap out of it" are constant phrases I heard throughout my life. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. There have been days when I did not want to get out of bed, take a shower, or talk to my friends. I have chosen not to let my mental health define who I am. I am Sadie Mae Torgesen. I am not the girl with depression or the girl who cries when she is called on in class. I was raised by two very loving and supportive parents, along with three siblings. I have always had a good, strong support system. I started showing signs of depression and anxiety at a young age. I was diagnosed the summer before I started fifth grade. My family had just moved to Mexico City. I was in a new school where I did not have any friends. The thought of change was terrifying. I slowly began to learn more about myself. I discovered my love for the violin. I also began to play school sports. I joined the tennis, volleyball, and track teams at my school. My parents and I soon decided that I needed more support. I found a therapist whom I was able to meet with weekly. Going to therapy was something I dreaded. I did not connect with my therapist, I was scared of her. After living in Mexico for four years, we moved back to Texas where I found the therapist who changed my life. She was someone who I immediately felt I could trust. I felt as if I could talk to her about anything and everything. I did not feel intimidated or judged. The word trust is important when it comes to mental health. Throughout my life, I have been in many hospitals, group therapies, individual therapies, and other mental health programs. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Every time I have something happen, I learn something from it and a majority of the time, I can use my experiences to help others. I want to be an elementary special education teacher after I complete college. I love helping children. I can remember the teachers who I had growing up and the ones who truly believed in me and helped me push past my hard days. I remember the teachers who listened to me when I needed to talk and the ones who hugged me when I felt like I was not enough. My daily challenges with my depression and anxiety are not ideal and are not wished for, but I am truly grateful for all I have gone through. My trials have given me a new outlook on life. They have helped me discover who I am and who I want to become. They have helped me realize how much I love to help others. My mental health does not define me. I define my mental health. I am Sadie Mae Torgesen, a girl who has changed so much since fifth grade, and who tries very hard every day. I am grateful for the help I have received, and for those who have helped me in finding my voice. I am now able to help those who may be too afraid to speak up. I can share my story and inspire others. Noam Shpancer said, "Mental health... is not a destination, but a process. It's about how you drive, not where you're going."

I have been hospitalized three times due to my mental health. All my mental health challenges have led me to realize how valuable my life is. My most recent hospitalization was in December 2022, due to an OD. When I was in the ER and hospital, before going to my therapy hospital program, I was not sure what was going to happen to me. I did not know if it would be my last time seeing my dad, I did not know when I would see my siblings, and I did not know when I would be able to return home. That is when I realized how important my family is to me. Ever since I had that experience, I have valued my time with my family much more. I do not let a minute go to waste. I also created a goal to communicate with my parents more often, especially when I am struggling. By having better communication with them, they are now able to understand and help me better. My mental health has also helped me be more grateful for nature. Whenever I find myself feeling down or overwhelmed with school, I go for a walk. Being outside, hearing the sounds of the birds, smelling the flowers, and being in the refreshing air have always helped me regroup and feel more at peace.

Mental health is an uprising challenge in our current day and age, yet, it is not spoken of as it should be. Though it is a difficult, and at times, uncomfortable topic to talk about, it is important. My mental health is really important to me. My journey has not been easy but it has taught me various lessons. As a Type 1 diabetic, living with both depression and anxiety, it is hard to look for the good and feel happy or feel good about myself. I have been hospitalized two times because of my mental health. Thanks to my experiences, I am now stronger and healthier than I have ever been. I have learned the importance of self-care, staying active, and setting boundaries. A goal I set was to move away from being a people pleaser. I realized that the more I worry about making others happy, the less happy I am. There are times it is ok to look after your well-being rather than everyone else's. The most recent hospitalization was in January 2022. I was in the hospital program until March 2022. This is the same time I was finishing my last semester of high school, applying to colleges, and preparing to leave the nest. Various doctors told my parents and me there was no way I would be able to go to college that upcoming fall semester. I was told I needed to continue living at home with my parents. I was determined to move out in the fall, as I had originally planned. I worked extra hard on bettering my mental wellness, and learning how to take care of myself. I learned about coping skills, I met with my therapist weekly, and I started doing more tasks alone. After assessing my mental wellness in May, my parents and I agreed I would be able to go to college in the fall and do well. When I started college in September 2022, I made sure to continue living a balanced life and continue taking care of myself. I made a daily schedule for myself, cooked meals weekly, made time to exercise, and allowed myself to enjoy the social college life. I had a few rocky days, but I always made sure to acknowledge how I was feeling and found a solution. Another important lesson I learned that helped me learn to maintain my mental wellness was understanding that it is ok to reach out and ask for help. I need to acknowledge that I do not have to go through my trials alone, it is ok to admit that I am not ok or I am struggling. It is ok to ask for help.

I have always been very shy. I like to stay in my bubble. Recently, I have had to learn the importance of being brave and bold. I practice bravery by doing things that may be scary. An example of this was when I stood up for my beliefs. A group of kids was making jokes about my beliefs and standards. It became very unhealthy. I did not want to deal with them anymore. I decided to be brave and talk to them about it. I was brave by asking them to stop making fun of me for what I believed. I live boldly by being myself. In today's world, everyone is very judgemental. There have been times when I did not think it would be ok for me to be my true self. I live boldly by being myself no matter what others may think or say about me. It is not easy, but it is necessary.

A characteristic I value in myself is my compassion. In our world today, I have noticed a lack of compassion. There is too much hate, judgment, selfishness, and cruelty. Because of my experiences, I have been able to be compassionate towards others. I know how it feels to feel alone, unheard, worthless, hurt, betrayed, and scared. When I see someone who is struggling, I can not help myself. I have to reach out to them, offer help, check in on them, and simply be there for them. When no one else listens to them, I do. When they feel unseen, I make sure they know I see them. It truly hurts me to see others struggling. I have been through quite a bit. I do not want others to feel the way I felt. Even if I am the only person who accepts them, that is ok. I am doing what I can. One person can make a difference. How will my compassion help me in my life journey? In the future, I hope to become a special education teacher. I hope to be able to help the kids who are struggling. I feel that with my compassion, I will be able to hear the kids. I will be able to better help them. I want them to understand that I will be there for them. I do care about them. My previous experiences in mental hospitals, school, and life in general, will allow me to relate to those I work with. I feel as if my life experiences are setting the stage for me. I am not sure who I will cross paths with in the future. I am not sure what challenges I will help people through. I hope that those I work with can tell that I do care and that I want the best for them. It does not take much to make a difference. It does not take much to make a difference in someone's life. All it takes is effort. A smile, compliment, hug, or message can go a long way. When you text someone asking, "how are you?" you may not think much of it. The receiver may appreciate it more than you know. Do what you can to help others. You can make a difference, even if it is just to one person. I am proud of the compassion I am able to show others, and I hope I will be able to help others' lives improve through my kindness and compassion!

1. I come from a family of money. My Dad is giving me all the money I need, an unlimited amount. The thing is, I don’t want to spend my money on school. Why would I do that? I want to spend it on Gucci, Chick-Fil-A, and my nails. I deserve this scholarship so I can have school money. I’m not using my shopping money for school, who would? 2. I'm going to move out to the city on my own, and become a model. I’m only going to school so I can look smart, and find some cute boys. When I go to school, I’m going to have a lot on my plate. I have to go on dates, shopping, get my hair and nails done, and pretend to be smart. It’s going to be hard work! 3. One of the hardest obstacles was my junior year. Two of the football players asked me to prom! I had to decide between two of the school's hottest guys. I also had to make a really hard decision about my dress. Did I want pink glitter or pink sequins? Those decisions were the hardest ones I’ve ever had to make. I was able to do it, after some stalking and research.

What does joy mean to me and how do I seek joy in my life? Joy is something you choose to have in your life. There is a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is a feeling you get through an experience. Joy is a feeling you choose to have despite your experiences. How do I seek to have joy in my own life? One of the ways I accomplish this is by seeing the good in every situation. My family has adopted a mantra, "look for the good, not the bad". Sometimes there are really difficult situations but there is still good in every situation. An example of this was when I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. It was a terrible day and not the news I wanted to hear. Despite all the trials and changes, I was introduced to, I still decided to look for the best in the situation. I spent my time informing others about the auto-immune disease and looking for the best of my situation.

George Washington said, "Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth". What does it mean to be independent? And what impact does it have on me? To me, being independent means being able to accomplish tasks on your own and not having to rely on others. As a Type 1 diabetic, I am striving each and every day to become more and more independent. I will not always have my mom with me. I need to learn to take care of myself. Wake up by myself at night, decide independently on what to eat as a meal, or when my glucose drops. I will not always have someone else to depend on. I need to learn to be independent. What impact does it have on me? Well, by being independent, I know I can make wise decisions, and do the right thing without always turning over to my mom or any other adult figures in my life. Denis Waitley once said, "The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence".

Dan Reiland said, "How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you". How do I make my friends, family, and others feel loved? I am glad you asked! I have many small things I enjoy doing to accomplish this task. One of my favorite, and most frequent ways is note writing. I began writing notes for others in fourth grade. I enjoy writing notes to others regarding my gratitude towards them and my love for them. By writing notes, I not only help others feel loved and happy, but it also makes me feel happy. The notes I write and give tend to come as unexpected to others. The receiver does not usually wake up thinking they are going to receive a note from me. It always brings a smile to their face when they are handed the note. Through the note giving, I am showing the receiver that I care, love, and am thinking about them.

Laura Ingalls Wilder said, "It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all". Everyone has simple pleasures in life that make them feel happy. A few of my simple pleasures are; a good night's rest, freshly baked cookies, laughter, and the sound of rain. All of these are small things that make a big difference. I never knew how glorious a good night's rest is until I experienced a terrible night. Freshly baked cookies always make me feel better, especially after having a long, stressful, hard day. Laughter is hard to not like. Not only is it enjoyable, but it is also proven to help your health in many ways. Lastly, the sound of rain. It is one of the most soothing sounds. It helps me fall asleep, helps calm my nerves on a hectic day. Although I do love and enjoy big gifts and gestures, it is the small and simple things that always tend to get me through. A wise man, Henry David Thoreau, once stated, "That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest".

It is not what you get that matters, but rather, what you give. When you give, you are not only making the receiver happy, but you are also making yourself happy. I have found that when I serve others, it is nearly impossible to not develop a love for those I am serving. An example of this was when I was teaching an English as a Second Language course. I was not getting paid for this. I sacrificed many hours a week to prepare and teach the lessons. As I spent time with my students each week, I developed a great love and appreciation for each of them. My family is currently living in Mexico City. Recently, we took part in a service project. In this project, we created care bags for those who we may cross paths with on the street. As I hand out my care packs and see how happy others become when they receive them, it makes me feel happy knowing that I was able to help better someone’s day, or even their life.

“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations”. This saying is so true. I have often had to remember this in order to push through some of my difficult moments. My family has moved 4 times. The hardest move for me, was our most recent one. We moved from our small town in Texas, to Mexico City. I had already moved a few times, but I have never had to leave behind such amazing friends, teams, and memories. We moved during the pandemic, so I was not able to say goodbye to those I wanted to. Along with moving during the pandemic came the inability to socialize and meet new people. I went a few months feeling lonely and hopeless. How was I able to push through this difficult time? Well, I had the help of my family. Because of them, I knew I was not alone. They were going though it with me. We had each other as friends. In the end, it is important to learn how to push through difficult times. During my experience of moving during the pandemic, I was able to realize I was not alone and strengthen my relationship with my family members. I arrived at my beautiful destination.

Doreen Virtue said, "By staying true to yourself, you keep your energy high and clear, and you provide inspirational role modeling for other healers and helpers. Integrity toward yourself is a gift to the world". Today in our world, it almost feels as if we cannot trust anything we see. Even if I can not find honesty in the world, I can find it in myself. I have been able to experience watching friends not be truthful to themselves, and I even instances when I am not truthful to myself. I have always loved the movie, "High School Musical". As a little girl, I always dreamt of being just like Sharpay Evans. I wanted to be the pretty, popular girl in school. In order to do this, I had to keep up with all the trends. In 3rd grade, all the girls I went to school with had Twinkle Toes. I had mentioned to my mom, during a trip to target, that the trendy shoes were "the world's ugliest shoes". But when I figured out they were a necessity to becoming pretty and popular, I had to get them. I wore them to school every day but hated them. I was unhappy. I was not staying true to who I am. Thankfully, time passed, and I figured out that all that matters is that I am happy. Currently, my friends and classmates all own Air Force Nike shoes. I understand it is the new trend, but, they are not for me. If I am happy with my Stan Smith's or my Converse's, that is all I need. All the pictures of happy, beautiful girls I see on my social media pages, may seem amazing, but the majority of them are not staying true to who they are. Just be you!

Henry B. Adams once said, "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops". I have been blessed with many amazing teachers and counselors in my life. In my freshman year of high school, I had one of the greatest teachers to ever exist. When we signed up for our high school classes, I decided to push myself, and sign up for honors and PAP courses. I signed up for PAP English 1. My class was fun, my classmates were great, but, my teacher was the best. Mrs. Fuller was the most motivating, kind, understanding, influential person I have ever met. With my ADD, I have always struggled with reading comprehension. I am also not the best writer. Mrs. Fuller always took the time to help me, and any of her other students. For the first time, I was comfortable asking all the questions I had. No question was a stupid question. She never gave up on me. If I did poorly on a quiz or an essay about the chapter of "The House on Mango Street", she would take the time to make sure I understood what information I was lacking. Towards the end of the first semester, freshman year, I was admitted to a hospital. I had been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I ended up missing nearly a month of school. I did all I could to still complete my coursework, and remain in communication with my teachers. Mrs. Fuller was super understanding, flexible, adaptive, and uplifting during this time. She always responded to my emails promptly and took a lot of time out of her day to help me with the coursework. When I finally returned, in January, she was constantly looking out for me. Whether it was having someone walk me to the nurse, allowing me to eat during class, explaining things 15 times, or just asking how I was doing, I knew I was going to be taken care of. How did Mrs. Fuller impact my journey in pursuing higher education? Through my experiences with her, I was able to see how great of an impact a teacher can have on a student. She helped me see how much potential I have. When I did not believe in myself, she did. If I am being honest, what I want to be when I grow up is Mrs. Fuller. She is one of my greatest role models. As I attend Brigham Young University-Idaho, and major in Elementary Childhood Special Education, I hope to become the type of teacher she was. Someone once said, "A good teacher is like a candle: it consumes itself to light the way for others".

"A smile never goes out of style". This is my favorite saying of all time. As someone who suffers from low self-esteem, it can be hard to think of what I love about myself at times. With all the compliments I have received regarding my smile, I have developed a love for it! So many people have come up to me and thanked me for smiling, or told me that my smile made their day. After recognizing the impact my smile has on others, I began to realize the impact it has on me. It has been proven that smiling can trick your brain into happiness. If I never smile, it is much easier to think negatively or have upsetting feelings. But, when I do smile, sad thoughts do not cross my mind as much, I feel better, and I look beautiful! I have begun to compare a smile to the flu. It is infectious. It is very difficult to not begin smiling when you see someone else smiling. Next time you are feeling down, smile. Someone else might need your smile!

In my life, I have been criticized many times because of the feelings and thoughts I have. Not only by my community but also by my family and my friends. Everyone has their struggles. Our mental health is our mental health. It should never be compared to anyone else's. I believe one practical solution for helping those who are struggling with mental health, is by simply being there for them, and not criticizing them. Our society needs to do away with so many phrases. Some of these include: 1. "No one said life was fair." 2. "It could be worse." 3. "It's all your fault." Mental health is not something that should ever be compared. We all have our own battles. Rather than using those phrases, we should use more uplifting and understanding ones. Some examples of these phrases are: 1. "You're not alone in this." 2. "You are important to me." 3. "When these feelings subside, I'll still be here, and so will you." The first set of phrases lead to more hurt feelings, and depressing thoughts. But, the second set of phases eases the burden and brings feelings of comfort and peace. After multiple suicide attempts, and a stay in a mental hospital, my parents finally found that my mental health is a very touchy subject, and they need to talk to me about it in a better way. With having a better support system, I have been able to open up and live a better life than I did previously.

I have faced obstacles during my 17 years of life. Some mean more than others. One of my proudest comebacks was regarding my shyness. I have been super shy my whole life. This made it hard for me to make friends and do well in school. I was too afraid to raise my hand in class. I was too shy to ask someone if I could sit by them. In third grade, my family moved from Texas to Mexico. I started at my new school a month before the summer break. It was hard being the new student when everyone already knew each other. During 3rd and 4th grade, I did not participate in any of my classes, and I did not make any friends. I decided I needed to change. I did not raise my hand in every class or give all the answers, but I took a step forward. Since I decided to start speaking up, and not letting my shyness get in the way, I started improving in school, and I made many friends. I definitely did not get rid of my shyness, but, I now know that I can do hard things. I can ask for help. I can ask to sit by others. Those who know me may argue that this example is terrible compared to some of the other obstacles. But, what they don't know, is that they would probably not know anything about me if I did not have this experience. "Never accept the defeat, get up and start work again. You are able to turn around the game"-Chetan Patel. How are you going to turn around your game? Don't take the defeat, learn to get out of your comfort zone, or stand up to your obstacles. You are stronger than they are!

According to "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences," those who were more optimistic, would have a longer lifespan and a greater chance of living past the age of 85. I am a firm believer that one key to living a long and healthy life, is by being happy. On Harvard Medical School's website, "Harvard Health Publishing," there are 6 pieces of advice regarding how to become more optimistic. They are as follows: 1. Reframe situations 2. Set goals 3. Set aside time to focus on the positive 4. Practice gratitude meditations 5. Strengthen social relationships 6. Practice the half-smile All of the suggestions, in some way, result in self-care. As you spend time focusing on yourself, and not thinking and worrying about what others are thinking and doing, you will find you become much happier. As you spend time focusing on the positive, rather than the negative. Even if you do not live until you reach the age of 85, you can choose a better way of life. When you are near the end of your life, do you want to think, "I spent most of my time looking for the bad in every situation" or do you want to think, "I lived the best life! Nothing I would change!". Bobby McFerrin's song, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" says it perfectly. The song describes some unideal situations, but in the end, we just need to be worry free, and happy!

So many things make me happy. But the one I will be elaborating on is, cheese! Yes, I know what you are thinking, and yes, I am being serious. When I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, I had to become a lot more thoughtful about what I put into my body. I have foods I enjoy with carbs, but, foods without carbs, are, without a doubt, superior. When I heard that cheese is one of the "carb-free, insulin-free" snacks, it automatically became my best friend. I would bring cheese with me everywhere! It came with me to my tennis tournaments, birthday parties, vacation, church, and many other places. I am aware it is not healthy to live off of cheese, but I am so grateful for the moments when cheese is there for me. If I am having a day full of high blood sugars, I can rely on cheese to satisfy my hunger, and not kill me. A cheese stick may just be food to you, but they mean something greater in my life. They are my best friend. It is hard for me to go a day without cheese, and nearly impossible to think about, look at, or eat cheese without becoming super happy. Cheese always knows how to put a smile on my face!

"She Will Find What Is Lost" by Brian Kershisnik. I have been in many difficult situations and gone through hard experiences, but this beautiful painting brings feelings of joy, peace, and comfort each time. The painting depicts a woman, who is going through something hard and troublesome. But, she is not alone. She has numerous amount of angels surrounding her. Kershisnik did not decide to add the angels to the painting in order to make it look more appealing. The angels are surrounding the woman, helping her and lifting her up. There have been multiple times when I have felt like the woman in the painting feels. It does not take much time before I begin to see the angels surrounding me. This past summer, I attended a camp in Utah. When it was time for me to fly, alone, to Texas, where my family was, I had one of these experiences. While I was trying to cross through the airport security, I was given a hard time. The workers unpacked everything I had and began to speak unkindly. I was standing in an airport, all alone, crying. Soon after, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was another girl who attended the camp. She told me the security did the same to her, and she offered to stand with me until I was feeling better. I know this girl, was sent to help me, and be my angel. With the help of the painting and the angels I have seen in my life, I am able to be a little more positive, even during the most difficult situations. I know I will be able to "Find What Is Lost".

"You don't have to try so hard, you don't have to give it all away, you just have to get up, get up, get up, get up, you don't have to change a single thing..." -Colbie Caillat's song, "Try". This song is what inspires me the most. It helps me realize what is important, and push through my hard days. As a teenage girl, who has struggled with understanding her self-worth, since fourth grade, I completely understand and love all the lyrics in the song. One of my favorite verses f the song talks about how all that matters is that you like yourself. Colbie sings: " Wait a second, Why should you care, what they think of you When you're all alone, by yourself, Do you like you"? I love the overall message the song speaks of. On days when I feel like I am worthless, or I feel like no one likes me, this song reminds me of what is important. The song ends with the following lyrics: "Take your makeup off Let your hair down Take a breath Look into the mirror, at yourself Don't you like you? Cause I like you". I am so grateful for "Try" and for all the difficult times it has helped me through.

When my family moved back to Texas, after living in Mexico for 4 years, we bought a property that came with goats! We added 2 dogs into our family soon after. During our 3 years in Texas, we also had at least 20 cats. The pictures do not show all our 8 goats, horse, 20+ cats, 2 dogs, rabbit, and our fish, but they do show a few. The first is of my family with our dogs, Rocky and Adrian. The next is of, me with Adrian, and our goat, LaFawndah. And the third is of our first cat, Beckett.

"Would you rather have 100 fake friends, or 1 true friend?" - a question my mom once asked me. After quite a few difficult situations, I have learned the value of a true friend. What does friendship mean to me? Where do I even start? To me, friendship is, being yourself without worrying about what the other person may say or think. It is going through difficult situations, but coming out of them is even stronger, because of how much you care. It is, calling someone family, and meaning it. Someone once said, "There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family". You want to do everything together. Friendship is not a competition or a blame game. It is being happy for each other's accomplishments, and lifting each other up after a hard day or failed attempt. In a friendship, I want to have someone who will hold me accountable, someone who will push me to be my best self. "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out," said Walter Winchell.

Ever since my diagnosis of depression, in fourth grade, I felt it was wrong to do anything for myself. Well, I felt that way until someone sent me a quote said by Mandy Hale. She said, "It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary". I now understand the importance of self-care. I have found three different ways to spend my scheduled "me-time". These include playing my violin, playing tennis (when I'm able), and journaling. Through my violin, I am able to release some of my stress and am able to express myself freely. Exercise has always been a way for me to practice self-care. I started playing tennis (competitive) in eighth grade. Through the exercise, fresh air, and the feeling of hitting the ball, I am able to feel relaxed, and take a break from all the chaos in my life. I have always had a journal to write in, but last Christmas, my sister gifted me a "Gratitude Journal". With the help of this guided journal, am able to look for the good in my day, me, and others. It is nice to be able to reflect on my day in a positive way. How has self-care impacted my life? I have noticed an incredible change in my mood. I am much more patient with myself and others. I have also gained more self-confidence and self-appreciation. It may be hard to take time for myself every day, but I can see the difference it makes. It is essential!

When COVID-19 hit, I truly blossomed. With my high school courses moving to online, I was able to work on my schedule, and not have all the stress I would have usually had during in-person school classes. After completing my sophomore year, my family moved to Mexico City. I had to choose what I wanted to do for school. Did I want to go to the American School Foundation, where I would be required to attend Zoom meetings all day, and possibly return to in-person classes? Or, did I want to find an online school program, where I could continue to live without all the social stresses and work at my own pace? After listing out the advantages and disadvantages of both of the options, I decided to enroll in an online school. My parents helped me research some of my online school options. We eventually came across the University of Texas High School. As I completed the first semester of my junior year through UTHS, I was doing very well. But after my experiences with the semester finals, my mom and I decided it was not the school for me. We conducted more research and came across Texas Virtual Academy at Hallsville which is a school through K12. I began my second semester of school there and fell in love. It was the perfect fit for me. The teachers were great, and the classes were amazing. Without the pandemic, I don't know where I would be right now. I would probably have a way harder time with school, and with my anxiety. Another way I have learned to make the most out of this difficult situation was through spending time doing genealogy. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My church emphasizes the importance and need to learn about our ancestors, and do work for them. Not only have I had time to learn about my deceased ancestors, but I've also been able to spend time with my immediate family. We have spent days exploring towns together, playing games, and making memories. Many lives have been lost due to the virus, and many have struggled. I believe the pandemic has benefitted me greatly. Not only have I been able to find the perfect schooling and education option, and learn more about my ancestors and family, but I have also been happier overall. It has impacted my mental health.

Howdy! I am Sadie Mae Torgesen. I'm originally from Texas but lived in Mexico City from 2013-2017, then recently moved back in 2020. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and Type 1 Diabetes. After I graduate in June of 2022, I plan to attend Brigham Young University in Idaho and major in Elementary Childhood Special Education. Through my major, I am planning on having an impact on the SPED community. I want to be able to help those who may be struggling like I did, as well as helping lend the kids and the community support. What made me decide I want to go into Special Education? Well, when I moved to Mexico City for the first time, I crossed paths will a 7-year-old girl, Anna, who had Down-Syndrome. As I spent time with Anna, I realized how much I loved being around her and my talent for working with kids with special needs. Later, at the beginning of my freshman year, I met an amazing young boy, Billy, who was in my grade and had Autism. As I became good friends with Billy, I had many opportunities to help and comfort him. I was able to help him develop greater self-confidence as well as greater self-respect. Through my experiences with Anna, Billy, and many others, I have been able to notice the need for help in the community, and I knew it was what I needed to do. It is my way of contributing and giving back. One of my all-time favorite books is "Wonder". In the book, Auggie, the main character, has a facial deformity. Due to his deformity, he suffers from a lot of bullying. As he goes through each day, getting made fun of, his self-confidence began to decrease. He ends up giving up so many things that he loved and cared about deeply. One of Auggie's friends from school, Summer, helped him see his potential, and see the good in himself, and in others. This book has helped me learn about the impact just one person can have on so many people, whether the actions are big or small. In my career, in Special Education, I hope to be like Summer. I want to help these amazing, talented kids, no matter what trials they may face, or what may set them apart from others. Another thing I learned from "Wonder" is that no matter what health issues, mental trials, deformities, one may have, they still have great potential and deserve just as many chances and opportunities as everyone else. As a SPED teacher, I want to help give my students all the opportunities in the world and help them reach their full potential.

How do I keep a growth mindset? To start, let me explain what a growth mindset is. According to Metrifit.com, having a growth mindset, includes thinking in ways such as, "I can try a different strategy", "Is this really my best work?", and "This may take some time and effort". Whereas, one with a fixed mindset may think, "I can't do this", "This work isn't good enough", and "This is too hard". To answer the initial question, although it may not be easy to keep a growth mindset in this day and age, especially when dealing with anxiety and depression, it is still definitely possible. An experience that describes my growth mindset, is one from my junior year. I was having a super difficult time with passing my finals, and I ended up failing three of them. I was starting to feel very discouraged and hopeless. Eventually, I decided to use this experience as a learning experience. I changed my mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Rather than spending my time thinking about how hard and terrible school was, I decided to spend the time thinking about how I can improve and how I can get the most out of these difficult situations. I keep a growth mindset by making sure, to begin with the end in mind. Rather than flooding myself with self-pity, I flood myself with positivity.

Saadi once said, "Have patience. Everything is difficult before it is easy.". Why do I think patience is so important? Patience is a sign of maturity, respect, and the ability to handle frustration and hard times in an appropriate manner. I believe having patience not only benefits me but also benefits the other party. For example, there was an experience I had in my 9th-grade year. One of my friends was continually bringing out the worst in me, and putting me down. I wanted to scream at her and tell her how terrible everything she was doing was. Rather than taking all my anger out on her, I decided to be patient with her and her actions. I'm really glad I decided to remain patient with her. A few weeks after these events and hurtful words, my friend came up to me and told me that she was sorry about her actions, and she explained some of the things she had been struggling with. Because I chose to remain patient, I was able to save our friendship, and help my friend with some of her hard times. In the end, patience is a trait I strive to have. It is beneficial to both parties. I believe having patience will not only help you become more mature, but will also have an impact on your attitude, mood, and thoughts.

"Sometimes, mental illness is terrifying because you feel like you've lost control of your mind and nothing makes sense. It's like watching yourself on autopilot and having little to no control"-Unknown. At the age of 10, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Later in life, at the age of 14, I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Through living with these mental and physical illnesses, I have been able to help others stand up to their physical and mental illnesses. My depression went away around 7th grade. Later, in 10th grade, it came back. I was having a really hard time and ended up attempting suicide 6 times. My mom didn't know until, one day my school counselor called her saying I had been googling, "how to have a successful suicide". Soon after, I threatened suicide, and that's when she took me to a mental hospital. The week I spent alone, in that depressing, lonely, plain, hospital, was both the worst and the best week of my life. I despised being without my family during such a hard time. But, I was able to learn so much and find ways to help myself, as well as others. Freshman year, I was introduced to a boy, my age, who I will call Jeff. Jeff and I quickly became good friends. We would talk to each other about everything. Jeff not only struggled with severe depression, but he also had ASD (autism spectrum disorder). He was having a really hard time at school and at home. His grandmother had recently passed away, which made everything much more strenuous for him. In April of our sophomore year, Jeff was having a super hard with his terrible, depressing thoughts. For a few weeks, he had been messaging me about some of his thoughts and feelings. Then, one night, he asked me what I would do if he said he wanted to kill himself. I informed him that I would have to tell my parents and a few other adults. He went without responding for 5 minutes, which was not like him. I wrote another message, "Jeff, are you ok? Please respond, I'm worried". He still did not answer. I immediately went to my mom, explained the situation, and got advice on what needed to be done. We made a few calls to the police department and a school counselor. Luckily, after a group of police officers drove to his house to check on him, I was informed he had not done anything to harm himself. A few months later, after he missed 2 weeks of school, he informed me he had been admitted to a mental hospital after a suicide attempt. Since that was something I had been through before, I knew the importance of helping Jeff and any others who may be struggling. I have always known I want to be a teacher when I grow up. In high school, I began the “teacher’s education” endorsement. Freshman year, I took “Principles of Education and Training”, then sophomore year, I took “Human Growth and Development”. Not many of my classmates sophomore year were actually interested in the class, they only joined because they wanted to do the “Robotic Baby” project. Because of this, my teacher decided to send those of us in the class who actually wanted to be teachers, across the street to one of the elementary schools to tutor kids. I was assigned to tutor kids in Mrs. Doggett’s 3rd-grade class. On my first day, she introduced me to the 5 students I would be helping tutor. I loved all the kids, but one of the girls really caught my attention. Her name was Anne. I had many differences from Anne, but we also had so many similarities. She struggled with the same things I did in school. On my last day of tutoring, Anne came up to me before I left and said, “I feel like you’re secretly my sister. I’ve never had anyone be so kind, patient, and loving towards me!” After the few months I spent tutoring the kids in Mrs. Doggett’s class, I knew what I was supposed to do with my future. I needed to become a special education teacher. How have my mental health trials, and my friends’ mental health trials helped influence my beliefs? I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For a long time, I felt as if my depression actions were unacceptable and frowned upon by the church. Recently, in a conference with our prophet, and all the members of the church worldwide, I was struck by a phrase. Jeffery R. Holland said, “If you are lonely, please find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.” When I heard this, I knew, even though at times I may feel alone, others are dealing with mental health as well. I am not alone, nor will I ever be. Lance Hahn, author of “The Master’s Mind”, says, “When God tests humans, it’s always for our best”. Even though we may feel like we are given trials and difficult situations as punishment, we are really given them to help us reach our full potential.

I was diagnosed as a Type-1 diabetic on December 5, 2018. I was very fortunate in how I found out. I had a yeast infection for the second time in a month, so I went to my doctor to get a prescription refilled. She said it was really weird that I had the infection come back so soon. The doctor then started asking me some questions. "Have you been extra thirsty lately?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "How often do you use the restroom?" She continued. "5-7 times in the night." My mom chimed in. "Have you been acting differently lately?" She questioned. "I've been getting a little impatient with my teammates," I admitted. She then looked at my mom and me and said, "this may be a shot in the dark, but these are all symptoms of diabetes. I am going to check your blood sugar levels now." As soon as she read out my blood sugar, we knew something was wrong. I was up at 426. My mom and I went home, packed our bags, and headed to the hospital. It did not take very long for me to get in control of my insulin and my blood sugar. By the second day in the hospital, I was already giving myself my shots. At my first check-up, my A1C was already cut in half. It was not easy, but I did my best to quickly come to terms with my diagnosis, and do all I can to live a happy, healthy life. It is really hard being a Type 1 diabetic, and a teenager struggling with depression. None of my family has a history of T1D, so I felt alone, and as if I couldn't talk to anyone about how I felt or what I was dealing with. In April 2019, about five months after being diagnosed, I had a really scary experience. I got really mad at myself and depressed, so I decided to use insulin to kill myself. I took over one hundred units of insulin that night. I was hoping no one would notice I was having a seizure, and I would die. Well, thankfully, I shared a room with my sister. She ended up waking up to me "making weird noises", and quickly went and got my parents. They came into the room, checked my glucose, which was 26, then used the Glucagon. Since then, I have learned the importance of talking to someone when my blood sugar level is above 300, to prevent dumb and dangerous actions from taking place. The first few months after the diagnosis were filled with much wallowing. After figuring out feeling sorry for myself wasn't doing any good, I changed my viewpoint and began to embrace my diagnosis. I gave a presentation on T1D to my team, classmates, and youth group. I also invited my friends and family to participate in the JDRF One Walk beside me. I have made a few friends who are T1D's too. One of my friends, who I will call Mark, had a hard time making smart choices, healthwise. When we went to his and my brother's basketball banquet, he did not want to take insulin for any of the pizzas or sodas he had. After my mom and I went over to talk to him, he explained that he hated being the "odd one out" and he wished he was normal. I know many T1D's may feel similarly to Mark. I also know that we don't have to be alone! We are all in this together.

In August of 2020, my family and I moved from Dallas, Texas, down to Mexico City. We had already spent 4 years living in Mexico City from 2013-17, so we had an idea of what to expect. The last time we moved to Mexico, I was only 10, so my perspectives, and thoughts have changed, since, this time I was 16. My family is a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. When we began attending church, in Mexico City, we were presented with a marvelous, and extraordinary opportunity. My mom and I were asked to teach an "English Connect" class (English as a second language) to some of the Mexican citizens in our area. We taught a 25-week long English class and came out of it with absolutely no regrets. Even though at times it was hard to balance school, my responsibilities at home, as well as creating and teaching a lesson plan, I am so glad I did. Mexico is a third-world country. There is a lack of employment opportunities, the school systems are not very efficient, and it is filled with poverty. With the COVID-19 pandemic, and schools being virtual, all the public schools were struggling intensely. Their system for school was to divide the grades by hour, and have school on the radio and sometimes broadcasted by television. None of the kids enrolled in the public schools were learning anything. Two years of school were wasted. In our English class, we had 12 students. One of our students, who I will call Mario, was in 7th grade, enrolled in one of the public schools. He showed up to all 25 lessons, and at the end of our 25th lesson, we asked me if he could speak with my mom and me after. Mario thanked us for teaching him. He said our English class would be the only class he would remember from the last 2 years. We also had another student, who I will refer to as Lucia, who ended up getting a job because of the English Connect course. She is now able to work at a private school, here in Mexico City, as a math teacher. Through my church, I have been given so many opportunities to help serve those around me, who may not have a bed to lay in at night, or who may not be able to afford their next meal. Take for example a service project some of the youth in my church participated in. One night, we gathered at our church building, with bags, and a bunch of other essentials. All 24 of us created at least 3 bags to give out to those who we saw struggling on the streets. The bags contained a granola bar, water bottle, socks, toothbrush and toothpaste, hand sanitizer, tissues, gum, and an uplifting note. I have been handing out my bags every time I drive anywhere. It is really fun to get to see the difference I make in just one person's life. Each time I hand a bag to an individual, and I see their face light up, it makes me want to do all I can to help those in the beautiful country I live in. I want to do all I can to make a difference in the lives of the people living in poverty, in Mexico City, and help them open more doors to opportunities.

If there was one sentence I could share with the whole world, I would want it to be something that will help people. The sentence I would share would be, "no one else's opinion matters". Why this sentence? Everyone I have met throughout my 17 years of life, has in some way, shape, or form, worried about others' opinions, at some point in their life. This is a lesson I recently began to feel strongly about. As humans, we spend too much time worrying about others. What should I wear to the party tonight, I don't want people to think I'm ugly? Which picture should I post on Instagram, I want to get as many likes as possible? If I eat a hamburger and chips for lunch today, will I look fat? These are just a few questions we may ask ourselves. Dr. Suess once expressed, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." This quote is so true. Even though the natural man tends to gear towards worrying about others' outlooks on them, our lives would be so much more enjoyable if we chose not to worry about others' viewpoints. Another important quote to ponder on is from Stephanie Klein. She states, "Stop caring what other people think. How? Understand that this is your life, not theirs, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself if things don't work out the way you'd hoped...their opinion shouldn't matter more than your own." Our purpose in life is not to please others. You need to work on pleasing yourself before trying to please others. Remember, no one else's opinion matters.

Everyone leaves a mark on this world. What will mine be? I want to leave a mark and make a difference with the Special Needs community. I, myself am a Type-1 Diabetic, I have ADD, anxiety, and depression. A considerable amount of my friends are in their school's special education programs. I believe I have already planted a seed of my legacy. By way of illusion, one of my best friends, who I will refer to as Joe, has autism as well as depression. One day, after a few weeks of Joe having hard, depressing thoughts, I got a message from him. He said, "what would you do if I told you I am going to kill myself?" I responded, promptly, saying I would have to tell my parents, and most likely some others. A few minutes passed by, and I didn't get a response. I texted asking, "are you ok, Joe?" and still got no response. I quickly rushed into the room my mother was sitting in. After explaining what the situation was, and showing her the messages, we quickly called the school counselor and the town's police. The police drove over to where Joe lived, to check upon him, and see what needed to be done. Luckily they advised us, Joe had not attempted suicide, and I was able to go to bed feeling a little better. If it wasn't for me being willing to talk to and help Joe, he might not have made it past that night. I want to have a strong impact on the Special Needs Community, and do all I can to help all those in need, know of their potential, and how loved and needed they are.

"I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints." I love these song lyrics! As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have learned the importance of standing up for myself and my beliefs. I am an introvert, myself, so it can be difficult and uncomfortable for me to speak up and voice my words, but, through the years, and quite a few encouraging discourses, I have learned of the importance of stating my thoughts, even when it is strenuous and unpleasant. When I was in the 7th grade, one of my classmates, Gonzalo, started making fun of me for my belief, specifically in The Book of Mormon. He was attacking me with questions and hurtful statements during our free time. After a few minutes, I finally remembered what Sophie Scholl said, "stand up for what you believe in even if you are standing alone." I finally got the courage to stand up to Gonzalo, and I told him, "You don't have to believe in everything I believe in, but you do have to respect my beliefs. I will not change my beliefs just to make you happy." This was extremely difficult for 7th grade me to do, but I value my beliefs so much and I know the importance of standing up for my beliefs and anything else in life I value.

I have many small daily motivators, but one of my motivators outvotes the others. My biggest daily motivator is my older brother, Chase. Almost everything I do is because of him. Whenever I am having a hard time, I turn to Chase. In the Fall of 2020, the first semester of my junior year, I was struggling in school. It was my first year attending a virtual school, and being self-taught. It was also the first time I had moved without Chase by my side since he left for college before the move. Around the time of finals, my anxiety and stress levels were out of the roof. I was constantly turning to Chase, and asking for advice. Chase made it through high school, and so can I. He started college, and so will I. He is serving a mission for our church, and so will I. Chase motivates me to be as great as he is every day. Currently, he is in Colorado, serving a mission for our church for the next 2 years. Because of this, I am not able to talk to him every day. But, as I see his FaceBook posts, or read his weekly email, and see how well he is doing, or hear about his challenges, and notice how well he handles them. All in all, I may be motivated by money, food, or events, but in reality, my older brother Chase is who motivates me and gets me through each day.

One of my favorite things to do is serve people! I love serving and working with kids. When I was a sophomore in high school, I was taking a Human Growth and Development course, which was a part of the teachers' endorsement. My teacher for that course selected a few of the students to go down every morning, during the class period, and tutor some students at the elementary right across the street. I was one of the lucky few who was selected to go help tutor students. I loved getting to help third-grade students, like me, who struggled with grasping concepts and paying attention in class. Seeing my students' faces light up once they finally understood division, or the chapter they had to read for homework, was one of the greatest feelings. I could see myself in each of the students. Even though sometimes the third graders hated me for making them repeat their multiplication tables over and over, or asked them hundreds of questions about what they read the night before, I could see the difference I made in these students' lives.

I would say my best skill is working with those with special needs. I discovered my gift and love of working with those of special needs around 6th grade. One day, I was playing with my friend, Anna who has down-syndrome, and I realized, not only did I enjoy it, but it was a true talent of mine. Throughout the years, I have made quite a few friends who have autism, down-syndrome, and many other forms of special needs. As I've been around these friends of mine, I have been able to help them see their potential, and help them cope through their hard times. How am I improving this skill of mine? Well, as a high school senior, I decided I would like to go to college and major in special education. I decided to have this be my major so I can continue doing what I love, and still help others! I also continue helping my friends, and I even tutor a few of them!

"Your mistakes don't define you, they refine you." This is a quote that has helped me through my 17 years of life. This last summer, I attended a church camp called EFY which stands for "Especially for Youth". Our session director put a picture on the big screen that read, "E-F-WHY" during our first class. He later encouraged us to try hard to discover our personal "why" during our week. I believe my "why" is to help uplift those around me, especially those who may be like me. I have had many challenges in my life. They range from living with type one diabetes to depression to having social anxiety. My heart goes out to those around me who have many struggles and challenges. A couple of years ago, I ended up in a mental hospital due to suicidal thoughts. Since then, I have wanted to help any friends, family, peers, and acquaintances who may feel the same way I felt in the past. I do not want anyone to feel the feelings I felt, or go down the road I had gone on. I also struggle with self-confidence. I don't enjoy hiding so much. While I work on building my self-confidence, I also want to help others build theirs. I want to help others to become more comfortable in their skin, and I want to help them learn to speak up when they have something to say. As I help others to gain more self-confidence, it will not only help them, but it will also be helping me. Why do I hope to inspire and help others? I have had many great people help and inspire me, so I know the importance of having someone with you as you are going through any and every trial. An example of this is when I was diagnosed with type one diabetes on December 5, 2018. It was very hard news for my family and me to receive. During the week I was in the hospital, I had many people reach out to me. But, there was one friend of mine, Jackie, who made an effort to make sure to be there for me. She wasn't just there for me the week of the diagnosis, she was there for me every single day of the school year. On days when I was struggling, she was there to lift me. With help from those who have impacted and helped me, I have realized that I to can make a difference by helping and inspiring others!

I believe I deserve this scholarship for many reasons. To start, allow me to tell you a little about myself. I am a type one diabetic, a tennis player, and a violinist. I am planning on attending BYU-Idaho, where I will major in Elementary Special Education. Being a diabetic is very expensive. I've had many people in my life tell me, I will not be able to attend college, because of all the expenses. Despite what these people have told me, I am determined to attend college, and go on to help the SPED community. This scholarship would help me be able to pay for college, and possibly my diabetic needs. Help me be able to pay for college, and prove all the negativity, incorrect!