Early childhood trauma can cause a myriad of issues throughout the lifespan. High ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) scores can predict things like future mortality rates, probabilities of psychological disorders, and even the probability of substance use issues. Trauma is the gateway to many disorders and negative coping mechanisms because we as humans tend to shut down when something happens that feels too painful to process. I specifically want to go into adolescent psychology because I believe that helping children learn how to process their emotions and negative experiences will yield healthier and happier adults. I understand the importance of therapy as a struggling adolescent due to first-hand experience. I lost my mother at the age of 15 and also experienced sexual trauma from the ages of 4-14. Losing my mother was the straw that broke the camel’s back, leading me into a downward spiral of addiction that eventually led to me dropping out of high school. I did go back and receive my diploma the following year, but the mental struggles I experienced made things very difficult for me. I moved out directly at 18 and had to work in restaurants to pay my bills. It wasn’t until my early 20s that I gave therapy a serious shot. I was hospitalized in a mental facility multiple times at the age of 15, and while those experiences were very integral to the acute care I required, I wasn’t able to fully grasp the concepts they were trying to teach me. I got sober at the age of 21. This led me on a journey of self-healing and discovery. I signed myself up for trauma therapy and began to dig deep with my therapist. I did not want the traumas of my past to rule my life anymore. One of the most comforting things my therapist would repeat to me was, “You were a child and none of this was your fault.” I was stuck in this loop of blaming myself for things like never verbally saying no or taking for granted the time that I had with my mother. Being able to sort through this stuff with a therapist helped me release a lot of the pain and suffering that came with looking back on my past traumas. I realized that I wanted to go into adolescent psychology when I began to have friends with troubled children. One of my friends was in rehab and lost her husband to the disease of addiction. When I first met her boys, they were 13 and 14. Both boys had delinquency issues and found themselves in trouble with the law and with school. These rough-and-tumble boys always transformed before my eyes when we had family time. Whenever we had one on one time they started talking about their problems with me. The first time it happened I was at a loss for words. These young boys who painted themselves as tough started transforming before my eyes. They were so eloquent for their age. Adults sometimes forget that even when they’re young, they are still human beings capable of complex emotions. When you give them the space to open up about their feelings without being judged, it’s amazing to see what they’re capable of. Giving children the tools to climb their way out of the pits they fall into is one of the best gifts we can offer them. Adolescent therapy will always have a purpose and an unforgettable payoff.

I realized that I wanted to go into the field of psychology because I’ve lived through enough trauma to know how to help other people find their way out. I think that many of us feel drawn to this field because we want to sift through our own negative experiences so that we can find positive ways to process the things that we went through. I knew I would be successful as a therapist when I noticed that many of my friends and family members felt comfortable coming to me with their problems. I always lend an ear and offer a shoulder to lean on. I think one of the biggest gifts of the obstacles I’ve overcome is the ability to have genuine empathy. One specific instance that opened my eyes to how my experience can help others was a time when a dear friend of mine called me mid-crisis. The call was very intense and heart-wrenching, I had never experienced what it was like to be on the other side of that phone call. She kept asking me over and over again how I made it through when I felt like ending everything. I had never had to put it into words before that. I told her that no matter what she was going through this feeling was temporary, and her effort to reach out was one of the bravest things she could have done. We stayed on the phone for over an hour while she calmed down, and I’m just so grateful that she allowed me to be there for her. I never realized the impact that my struggles would have on other people. For so long I was ashamed of the fact that I nearly gave up on everything. However, going through that and surviving just showed the people around me that healing is possible. I want to continue my degree so that I can be in a place where I can help other people out of the darkness. Having a therapist who truly understands struggle will add an extra level of empathy to the care I can provide to my future clients.