@lovingahurricane

My experience struggling with various mental health episodes was very difficult. I lacked motivation and still do at times which led to isolation from myself and others. I would identify with my mental issues and considered myself as the disorders. The only thing that brought my issues into the light of others were when I was led to my lowest, that being my suicide attempt. Not a single person I knew was aware of what I was going through before that, and that point resulted in the diagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa which, deep inside, I knew I already had but would never mutter the name. A lot of the issues I have are still within me but are being suppressed. Recently I have been exposed to outlets which allowed me to alleviate a lot of inner wounds that I suffer with. I still wish that a lot of the events I went through never happened, and I still resent them. When I look at other people who are constantly on the edge with their mental health I see myself, and I feel so deeply sad whenever I identify with them. What is sad is not the fact that I am going through the same, but the actual thing that is going on in our brains. Our minds are so powerful that they put the worst things at the top of our priority list and although we may want to feel better, the relief that we get from enjoyable activities sometimes is not sufficient enough. This may not be the case for everyone, for it has been brought to my attention that this is not how most people think. I find it sick and twisted that this is how my mind brought itself to think. My experiences, though being brought with so much grief and suffering for who I once was, have also resulted in my most euphoric moments yet that I am so happy I got to live through at one point in time. My relationships were once excluding me but I have always kept a face for people showing that I care about them as people because they deserve it. I understand that it was hypocritical of me to be this way towards others while actively hurting myself and putting myself down. I continue to grow and, like everyone, am always trying to learn to respect myself more. The perspective of someone filled with self hatred is controversial, since one does everything that they wouldn’t do for themselves to others, sort of in a way to make up for what they don’t have. This perspective, along with a bit of realignment is allowing myself to balance this uneven scale so that I get as much self love as I would love to give to others. Hopefully this gives me the nurture to help others more, and in turn create a positive feedback loop where everyone can grow in every life aspect.

My name is Ruby Limon and I am a rising high school senior at my school. My interests involve listening to music, dancing, singing, and exercising. Although none of my experience in any of these activities is professional, they are true to who I am. My favorite color is pink and I love mixing up my style with different clothing pieces. My academic goals are to go to university and double major in Kinesiology and Music. This would combine my two interests and allow me to learn and develop a better sense of understanding in the two fields. I would like to become a professional trainer, working either individually or with a sports team. I would also like to pursue my hobby of singing and turn it into a career, it doesn't matter whether it be music composition or just singing in a bar. This scholarship award to me is important since it would aid me in paying for my education. As long as I can afford it, I will be able to focus on my goals more fully. Receiving this scholarship, or at least being a finalist, would further back up the fact that I was recognized for my writing abilities, and ability to express my passion for the things I know are very meaningful to me. I value my education, however, I am limited by the financial aspect that it takes to get it. At the schools I have attended, all of my teachers were and are aware of my attentiveness and readiness to begin a new path once my time comes. I would like to receive this award in order to be a lot closer to afford my tuition. To pay for my education, I am saving money by working through the summer and I plan on working part-time through my senior year. The money I make, of course, will not cover the cost, and my family agreed to support me with a portion of my tuition. I am applying for scholarships in order to help make up for more of the cost, but if I am not able to reach the amount I need I am planning on signing up for student loans that I will pay off as I continue working. Now getting to the good stuff, heavy metal is an iconic genre of music that gets me riled up and energetic. I love the abundance of instruments and rhythms that are played all at once in Heavy Metal. The lyrics to most heavy metal songs may not be vague but the descriptions made in them are always unique to each song which is why it stands out to me. My favorite song is Angry Inch by Type O Negative, and Peter Steele is my favorite Heavy Metal artist. Master of Puppets by Metallica is also another one I enjoy and the beginning of the song has very clean electric guitar playing that makes it aesthetically pleasing to hear. Many of my friends would agree with me and know that this is the music that I love to walk to and play on my headphones. Metal in general scratches an itch in my ear because it makes for a great outlet. It can be both intensely angry or excited and it is just perfectly overwhelming to me. I love music so much but I can assure you that Heavy Metal is the very best kind of music to listen to.

The Bollywood Film, "Pad Man" is the true story that follows a man, Arunachalam Muruganantham, an Indian entrepreneur, in his mission to address the issue of toxic shock syndrome in his country. Though it is in a different language, this movie opened my eyes to issues that I was not aware were problems in different countries. Muruganantham's determination was the result of finding out his wife, along with other women in his community, were using dirty rags to cover up their menstrual blood. It is a common issue that in India, period talk is taboo, and for a woman to be on her period is shameful. From finding this out, he decided to produce his own pads at home for his wife to use as a way to prevent her from developing an infection, as well the reason that pads were very expensive there. The thing I found most inspiring was that despite being ridiculed by his community and exiled from his city as a result of accusations of him being perversive, due to his attempts to raise awareness on the issue, he persisted in his advocacy. Eventually, he was able to manufacture effective sanitary pads that he would go on with a team of people trying to sell them for affordable prices. His success was beyond imaginable, however, he stayed true to his original mission, which I valued the most about this movie. His goal has always been to provide affordable sanitary pads for women to prevent the spread of diseases as a result of using dirty rags, which is why his organization was nonprofit, despite others insisting that he patents his product. The reason this movie impacted me was that he did the right thing for the right reasons while facing obstacles that would try to shift him away from his original path. This perseverance is something I want to see more of in the real world. I love that this movie is based on a true story since it shows the good in humanity and is an example of someone whose efforts paid off and benefitted society. Muruganantham knew that shame was one of the reasons that his community did not want to open up to the idea of sanitary products, however, he continued to spread the message and slowly was able to see a change in responses from the people he visited. The message of the movie to me was that education is really valuable, and in order to fight the stigmas around unspoken topics, it is important to have patience and find the resources that will help your cause. "Pad Man" may sound like a silly movie title, but the film really represents the outcomes that serving your community may have and I was deeply moved by this movie.

I am 17 years old and barely starting to adjust my ambitions and find ways to make my dreams happen. I have a lot of free time on my hands that I have always wanted to invest in activities to keep myself occupied but have never opened myself up to those opportunities. Now I started finding some hobbies I like, such as playing around with makeup and sending my friends resources to anything related to their interests. These are just some silly things that I do to pass the time but I started doing more productive things that will help me accomplish my personal goals. I got my first job at my current old age as a summer intern at a science camp in Oakland, California. I am assigned to work with mostly Kindergarteners through second graders, though the age groups do range up to tenth-grade students. I find it fun to be around such energetic people and it even gives me insight into the education field, since I want to give teaching a shot. My major of choice is Kinesiology, though I am also going to major in Music, which is basically the study of the movement of the human body. By learning about what makes our bodies so incredible and how to adjust our workouts to accommodate our personal needs, I am more eligible to teach others the same thing while showing them how to achieve this. For this reason, my first step up after completing university is becoming a Physical Education teacher. I want to teach the generation that comes after me how to assist their bodies and give themselves the proper care it needs and deserves. I have come to realize that this science major is important, since the fundamentals that it follows apply to everyone. All people have bodies that move, and not all bodies work the same. This brings up the biggest point which is: everyone needs help when it comes to understanding the world around them, or in this case, within them. Working with human bodies requires so much more than just exercise since your body depends on your diet, exercise routines, mental state, and physical capabilities. I am pursuing a degree in this field because I am aware that Physical Education is necessary for our society, and we need more people who are passionate and have intentions to incorporate this course into institutions filled with the people who will benefit from it the most; students.

I manifest that my future self has the freedom to go out and try out any new activities that I find interest in while being both physically and mentally satiated.

My favorite movie of all time was, and still is, Alice in Wonderland; with the iconic Mad Hatter, Alice, and the Cheshire Cat. The live-action film, which I love even more. My favorite details were her cute little outfit, with that light blue dress and her black hair band. Every year I would say I wanted to dress as Alice for Halloween, yet every year it would be a different costume. The classic Disney movies hold a very strong piece of my heart. Every time I see Tinkerbell pop up before a movie on DVD or a VHS tape, the nostalgic feelings all flow back into my head. I associate many nice and warm feelings with Disney, as well as many nice memories. One memory that I have engraved in my head was being in Disneyland when I was about 7 years old. I went with my aunt and uncle, my cousins, and their side of the family. My favorite Disneyland attraction is the “It’s a small world” ride since I can remember being on that calm dark boat ride and seeing all the little dolls dancing to the song. The characters are memorable to me since they were all shown in different styles representing the different countries and cultures they were from. Obviously, child Ruby loved the Mexican characters since they represented my ethnicity and culture. I admired the two braids on the girl characters of that ride so much that I would always put my hair into braids afterward. I was so happy when Coco came out, even if I was well into my teenage years since it showed Mexican culture and included details that I was so excited to see in a Disney movie. The Spanglish was on point, and overall it was pretty culturally accurate, which just made that movie visually pleasing to watch. I can confirm that still, my favorite Disney song is the cover of “La Llorona” by Alanna Ubach from the movie Coco. At some points, my friends hear me sing this song randomly in class because it’s always stuck in my head. There are too many Disney memories that I can’t pinpoint my number one favorite. These memories are all spread throughout my childhood since they basically raised me, and my favorite songs growing up have always been either a theme song to a Disney show or movie. I have so many CDs of Disney movies laying around that I have to hold in the urge to cry whenever I see them. Some of those CDs used to belong to my older cousins and are older than me, but I grew up on them. If I had to pick one thing Disney that I most love, I would have to generalize it and say: the movies.

I am well-known in my school due to my extroverted personality and have never had any issues when it comes to talking to people and reaching out for new opportunities. Stepping out of my comfort zone and finding new people to network with has allowed me to provide my friends with resources on topics they are interested in. I have made many friends who are involved in niche extracurricular activities and projects and have led them to other friends who are interested in the same things. Through this, I can get my friends to do the same thing and look for occupations. I try to lead with positive examples by showing others that most things are possible and can be accessed by going just out of their way to find their interests. I acquired my first job by just spending some time on the internet looking for internships and job listings that I was eligible for. Once I did this, I told my friends about it, before even receiving my job offer. Some of my friends were not interested in that specific job, but I still got them to just give it a shot so that they at least had the option to work for the summer. Two of my friends applied, and one of them also got a job in the same company as me. Now, we are using this opportunity to earn money and gain work experience. Although some of them were not interested in this job, it inspired them to look for one, and many have now found another job or activity to do during the summer. I also make sure to keep myself updated on events and extracurriculars taking place in my community. Recently, I began going to the gym again, since the Planet Fitness free summer pass for teenagers became available this May. I kept anticipating the start-up day and mentioning it to all of my friends with a lot of enthusiasm. When asking them to come with me they all were hesitant and thinking of reasons as to why they could not go, but after I started going a couple days and mentioning my routines there, they became more interested. Eventually, I was able to convince a couple of them to come with me, and after the first day, they decided that they will be going more often during their free time, which I have seen them do. When I think about it more, all that it ever really takes for people to take initiative is motivation and a little bit of encouragement. If any of my friends show interest in something, I try my best to find a way for them to involve themselves in those activities by going there myself and giving them feedback and tips on how to go forth with it. Usually, I will ask my friends to come with me and converse about that activity, before, during, and after, including a bunch of commentary to allow there to be a flow of discussion. Overall, I love paving the path for others to follow, so wherever there is a situation where they want to do their own thing, they are more comfortable stepping out and finding their way to get there through previous experience. Leadership comes in many different forms, and not all of them have to be a sort of “do as I do” type, but more often than not is found in a, “I’ll do it if you do it” mindset, which is why others should just strive to achieve their ambitions.

I have wanted to major in Kinesiology for well over a year. All of my friends are well aware of my passion for exercise and health, and it is no surprise that I want to pursue a career in that field. My family is reluctant to know why I want to revolve my education around just working out. I was very aware of their disapproval, given the fact that my parents wouldn’t allow me to join any of my high school’s sports this year. One of the reasons they gave as a justification was that I used to suffer from severe asthma and that they were worried it would impair my ability to excel in my sport of choice. My asthma has been inactive for over 7 years so, clearly, this wasn’t a valid issue in my eyes. I continued to prove my dedication to athletics by implementing my desires onto myself. I would go to the gym whenever I could, read any articles on fitness I found, join conversations that the boys at my school would have about workouts, and even train my friends when they were doing sports. The main reason I want to pursue a degree in Kinesiology is because I want to show other people the benefits that exercise can have on their bodies. Working out has made my life so much better by improving my mood and giving me the motivation to work on other areas of life. My goal is to become a personal or athletic trainer to teach people how to properly move their bodies so that they can have some control over their lives. I know that in order to be healthy, one must be both mentally and physically fit. To assist in this, I will aid people in achieving all these levels of fitness and empower them by showing them the capabilities that their bodies have in improving every aspect of life. Health can be determined by many factors, and through exercise, one can prevent diseases caused by unhealthy lifestyle decisions, aid in the recovery from long-term injuries, and overall enhance their everyday life. My degree will allow me to assist people in these lifestyle shifts that can improve their overall wellness.