It was 2011, and I received a phone call: “Your father tried to kill himself and is on the way to the hospital in an ambulance.” That was the call that changed my life from having what seemed like a normal family to realizing the enormous impact that mental illness had on my life up until that point. My father wrote a suicide note and swallowed a bottle of pills. Thankfully, my mother found him and was able to call an ambulance in time for them to pump his stomach before he died. He was in a self-induced coma for three days, and we didn’t know if he would ever wake up. It was this pivotal moment in my life where I had to deal with the pain of my father trying to take his life, and then take on the responsibility of nursing him back to health. While doing this, I dug myself into a deep depression and put so much of myself into helping my father that I neglected my own mental health, which led me to despair, suicidal thoughts, and addiction. In 2018, I received a similar phone call: “Your aunt (my father’s sister) shot and killed herself.” Even as I write this, it still doesn’t feel real. If it wasn’t for my spiritual awakening with the Holy Spirit in 2013, I never would have been able to get off of drugs or come out of the dysfunction and been able to move forward into a future where I am not defined by my past. For three years after my awakening, I was removed from my mental illness and was able to see what life was like without it. But mountaintops are not a representation of what a grounded faith looks like. I believe God has allowed this illness back into my life so I can properly address it and find ways to help others overcome it as well, first through God, and second through clinical treatment. The mind, body, and soul are all connected and cannot be separated, and treatment must reflect that. I say all of this to show that I am pursuing a Master of Social Work with a concentration in trauma because of my own life experiences. Mental health, trauma, and family dysfunction are things I am no stranger to, and as I continue to dive deeper into my coursework, I am beginning to peel back the layers of my life. This is helping me better understand myself and the reasons why I behave the way I do. My plan is to get my LCSW and help people overcome their life experiences and circumstances through counseling in a spiritually based setting.

It was 2011, and I received a phone call: “Your father tried to kill himself and is on the way to the hospital in an ambulance.” That was the call that changed my life from having what seemed like a normal family to realizing the enormous impact that mental illness had on my life up until that point. My father wrote a suicide note and swallowed a bottle of pills. Thankfully, my mother found him and was able to call an ambulance in time for them to pump his stomach before he died. He was in a self-induced coma for three days, and we didn’t know if he would ever wake up. It was this pivotal moment in my life where I had to deal with the pain of my father trying to take his life, and then take on the responsibility of nursing him back to health. While doing this, I dug myself into a deep depression and put so much of myself into helping my father that I neglected my own mental health, which led me to despair and suicidal thoughts. In 2018, I received a similar phone call: “Your aunt (my father’s sister) shot and killed herself.” Even as I write this, it still doesn’t feel real. If it wasn’t for my spiritual awakening with the Holy Spirit in 2013, I never would have come out of the dysfunction or been able to move forward into a future where I am not defined by my past. For three years after my awakening, I was removed from my mental illness and was able to see what life was like without it. But mountaintops are not a representation of what a grounded faith looks like. I believe God has allowed this illness back into my life so I can properly address it and find ways to help others overcome it as well, through God, and through clinical treatment. The mind, body, and soul are all connected and cannot be separated, and treatment must reflect that. I say all of this to show that I am pursuing a Master of Social Work with a concentration in trauma because of my own life experiences. Mental health, trauma, and family dysfunction are things I am no stranger to, and as I continue to dive deeper into my coursework, I am beginning to peel back the layers of my life. This is helping me better understand myself and the reasons why I behave the way I do. My plan is to get my LCSW and help people overcome their life experiences and circumstances through counseling in a spiritually based setting.

The Future of Human Connection To be relational is to be human, and to be human is to be relational. We are now more connected than ever before, yet loneliness, addiction, and depression continue to rise. Social media, messaging apps, and constant digital interaction dominate daily life, with some even turning to AI chatbots for conversation because of loneliness. So the question stands, what does human connection truly mean and has it reshaped our experience of being human? I observed this shift not in a classroom setting, but in everyday life. When I go to restaurants, I look around and see nearly everyone absorbed in their phones. Technically, they are “connected,” yet disconnected from the people sitting in front of them. Conversations halt as people respond to notifications that they get on their phone, interrupting in person connection. Often, people are left repeating themselves multiple times because the other person is so distracted. I have also felt this personally, through experiences of trying to speak with friends and family and they seem far too concerned about something irrelevant or not urgent on their phone. Being physically present yet emotionally absent is the new reality of human interaction. Through these observations, I’ve realized that there is a significant gap between communication and connection. Communication is as simple as exchanging information, whereas connection requires presence and attention. When we are communicating online, we miss what makes communication human: eye contact, tone, spiritual connection, and a shared space. As we become more dependent on screens for communication, we slowly become used to interacting without many of the things that make communication truly human. Sitting across from someone in the same room changes the entire atmosphere of the conversation. A good example of this comes from when I was teaching English a few years ago. I had a student who I met with once a week online for just over a year. Eventually we decided that we would get together for lunch since we lived close by. Seeing and being with him in person almost felt like I was speaking to a different person. Body language, tone of voice, emotional connection, spiritual presence, and even the smell of a person (whether good, bad, or neutral) all contribute to how we experience connection with another person. Interestingly, I have found that when I intentionally put my phone away and give someone my full attention, it sometimes catches them off guard. It has gotten to a point where eye contact and listening closely feel unusual in a culture that is constantly distracted. To many, whether by choice or circumstances, depth feels unfamiliar. I work as a Graduate Assistant at the front desk of a seminary and university. I make it a point to try and say hi and make eye contact with everyone who walks by. It even felt uncomfortable for me at first, but I’ve gotten used to it and now enjoy seeing people. As I pursue my Master of Social Work, I am learning about human behavior in ways that make me look deeper into the person than what is on the surface. Although I believe online advice and tips can be helpful, healing happens not merely through exchanging information, but also through the presence of another and deep, meaningful connection. To be seen, heard, and known, just as we are with God. God made us as relational beings, and if we continue to seek connection through technology, we will lose our sense of humanness. Technology is not inherently bad and gives us the ability to connect with people across distances that were once impossible. But if that becomes the primary means through which we seek connection, we risk losing a part of our humanity.

I grew up going to the Catholic Church based on the tradition of my family. When I finished my confirmation, I "graduated" from church and decided it was time to stop. I didn't have any real faith of my own. I always hated going to church with my mom. I went through my teenage years and into my early twenties doing my own thing and not paying any attention to God. But I was always searching for something. I would find a hobby and become obsessed with it for months on end. Eventually that hobby would no longer be interesting and that emptiness would come back again. I was also prescribed Adderall in my twenties, and this fueled me to put my head down and do nothing but work. I became so addicted to it that I could no longer get out of bed without taking it. I fell into a deep depression and could not find the will to live. One morning, I woke up and decided to go to a random church five minutes from my house. During the church service, the Holy Spirit moved in a powerful way, and the depression was instantly lifted. That moment radically transformed me. I haven't been the same since that moment over 13 years ago. Since then, I have made it a goal to serve the Lord. My walk has been up and down. I had intentions of being an overseas missionary for quite some time and studied Religion for my undergrad at Temple University in Philadelphia. During this time I was incredibly challenged, as my professors basically told us that the Bible wasn't true. I felt that after this experience, I was no longer able to be a missionary. Since then I have recovered a lot and have found my passion for Christ once again. This time my direction is a bit different, as I am pursuing my Master’s in Social Work at a Christian university, Eastern University, and working as a Graduate Assistant at Palmer Theological Seminary. Although I am not specifically studying "Christian Studies," what we are taught is all from a Christian framework. My goal after graduation is to become a Christian counselor. I have already started networking with professors at the seminary, and some of them are also counselors. I really feel the Lord calling me to this work. My missionary spirit has returned, as I feel called to lead people through the dark, as I once walked through. I hope to open the eyes of the blind to a world that is in much need of hope. This scholarship would help me immensely because right now, my wife and I are living paycheck to paycheck, and credit card debt is piling up. I know eventually my income will help us pay off our debt, but in this season, financial support would relieve a significant burden. It would allow me to focus more on my studies and not stress so much for the next month or two. This will help me step into the calling I believe God has placed on my life and serve others.