In April, I was diagnosed with PMDD. When I told my mom, she revealed to me that since I was in middle school, she had been secretly tracking my period to know when to avoid me, but of course she had never heard of PMDD. God knows the damage done in that relationship and countless others in the years during which I thought my premenstrual symptoms were normal. Not only that, but I let myself believe for years that I was a “b*tch” because of who my symptoms turned me into. And I’m angry about it, not for myself, because I’m one of the luckiest women with PMDD, but for the women who had to live into their 30s or later suffering these symptoms. Being diagnosed at only age 20 is giving me back years of my life that most other women with PMDD have been deprived of. I want every woman with PMDD to get those years back and more. I want to engage in work that will change the way that we educate about menstruation, premenstrual symptoms, and above all premenstrual conditions. I never learned about premenstrual symptoms. Not from my family, not from school, not even from friends. Every conception I had about premenstrual symptoms came from popular culture, mostly in the form of “she’s just PMSing.” This led me to the conclusion that my symptoms were normal. Because of these experiences, I am currently undertaking research through a course into how popular culture and dialogue impact women’s behaviors, identity, and conceptions of “normal.” I’m seeking research funding so that I can scale this work up beyond the scope of the class, interview countless women and medical practitioners, and use the takeaways of my research to craft a comprehensive PMDD education plan. I envision a two-pronged PMDD education plan: one piece for educators to teach girls and women about premenstrual symptoms and conditions proactively, through health education (separate from sex education) and community health services. The second piece of this education plan will target healthcare providers, including pediatricians, PCPs, OBGYNs, and psychiatrists. I plan to use the research and data on where women receive their information on premenstrual symptoms from and what they conceive of as “normal” to help practitioners identify women who may be downplaying or ignoring symptoms and educate patients proactively. Hopefully, this research and education plan will also give practitioners a more holistic understanding of what women with PMDD experience, not just in their luteal phase, but socioculturally all month long. Above all, my goal with this research and project is to challenge the normalization of severe premenstrual symptoms so that women and doctors alike come to recognize premenstrual symptoms as an important part of overall reproductive and mental health. One cannot challenge the status quo without a strong grasp of what it is. Right now, there has been no substantive research into how women receive their education on premenstrual health (as opposed to just menstruation) and how different methods and degrees of education shape how women behave and understand their own identities. In the long term, I am aspiring to work in women’s health care advocacy and policy. Though I have not completed intensive women’s healthcare research prior, I hope that undertaking this project will serve as a springboard into a career that elevates the standard of women’s healthcare and access. I am guided by Dr. Stacy Sims’s phrase: “women are not just small men.” We deserve research, care, and education that is tailored to our unique bodies and biology.

If I were to give a title to my eulogy for my dad, it would be, “Reclaiming My Identity From the Person I Loved Most.” I used to say, “I’m just my dad in the body of a teenage girl.” I’m beginning to think that maybe that isn’t so true. Being my father’s daughter doesn’t mean being him, but instead being the product of who he is and the world he raised me in. My dad went out of his way, like every good parent, to teach me about morals, values, and the universal ideal of “being a good person”, but this didn’t eliminate the need to discover some of these values for myself. My dad once told me that he believed the purpose of his life was to make those of people around him better. Being thirteen-ish at the time, I scoffed at the idea. At that age, the purpose I had decided on for my life was being sequestered away in some fancy research laboratory crunching numbers and discovering alien life. But I’ve grown since then and, though I’m still a sucker for astrophysics, I’ve found myself following more closely in my dad’s footsteps. I watched the world around me begin turning backward and the country that I had so much faith in fall from grace. In May 2020, I perched on the corner of our dining room table, horrified as police responded to protests of police violence and racism with more violence. On January 6th, 2021, I asked my parents if that was how 9/11 felt. In 2022, I asked myself what states I’d feel safe going to college in as a queer person. In 2023, that list shrank. But along the way, I also saw that I could be part of the movement making all of these things change. In 2020 and 2022 I listened to Rage Against the Machine in my bedroom and phone-banked for candidates Biden and Fetterman. Then, as I watched both of these candidates win, I saw the reality that my voice and actions held power. My passion grew and I became a leader within my community as president, of the LGBTQ+ Affinity group. Junior year I attended the Ignatian Family Teach-in For Justice, which I can only describe as a transformative experience. All around me, I saw hope. I saw people who cared as much as I do about seeing the world become a place for us all. I was inspired by presenters like Olga Segura, who reminded us attendees that the work of social justice is not meant to be done alone, and The Peace Poets, who passionately told us “Anybody fighting for justice is your people.” I made some of the most genuine, heartwarming connections of my lifetime with attendees at this conference. I’ve learned recently that this is what I value; my passion is for leaving the world better than I found it. Knowing this about myself, I plan to major in public policy at Georgetown University, where I will receive an education that will inform me in history, political science, and ethics, opening up pathways to creating social change throughout the rest of my life. This education will serve as the foundation for my understanding of the world, giving me the tools, perspectives, and experiences to better the world for the people around me.