Carbs. They are everywhere and so easy to grab and go. What takes time is planning your meals, and making time for the gym. I was always the "chubby" brother. I had chubby cheeks and wore the "husky" size. While my brother always wore slim and regular. Of course, this made for a lot of teasing. Although my brother was doing what brothers do. It made me very self-conscious. He was just a kid too. So I don't blame him now. My mother was very aware of his teasing and would stop him when she heard it. But she couldn't be there all the time. One day I decided I didn't want to be the chubby brother anymore. So I decided to make some changes. I traded the chips for berries. I substituted water instead of sugary drinks. Around this time my mom purchased an air fryer. So I was still able to enjoy fried food but in moderation. And I started working out. In my room, I would do push-ups and sit-ups before bed. I was already involved in sports. But I started spending more time in the gym. Usually, I would just only go to the gym during practice. But I started staying after practice to get more cardio in. I was able to shed 40 pounds! This wasn't easy. People ask me all the time how I was able to do it. Determination. I had to start seeing food differently. Before I lived to eat. I began to eat to live. We are truly what we put in our bodies. When I first began to reduce my carb intake I was tired, cranky, and would get headaches. This no longer happens. A lot of people start the journey to be healthy and are not successful. But I believe a healthy lifestyle starts in your mind. If you are not mentally ready to change your lifestyle. You won't be successful. I have a couple of things that I stick to that help me maintain my lifestyle. I never miss a Monday workout. I have learned that if I push my first workout to Tuesday. I usually don't make it. I preview menus before I visit a restaurant. This way I already have an idea what I can order, and don't order something that I might regret later. Also, I refuse to be hard on myself. I make mistakes. I mess up. I eat that extra piece of bread every once in a while. I may even sneak an extra piece of birthday cake. But for the most part, I am committed to my healthy lifestyle. I hear people refer to my weight loss. But I correct them and I tell them that this is my lifestyle change. Not because I am trying to be rude. I just think it is important that people know the difference. Yes, I have lost weight. But that was only part of my goal. To keep the weight off. I had to change the way I saw food. This is my healthy journey

I come from a single-parent home. My father has been incarcerated most of my life. I am a black male. Neither one of my parents have a college degree. I think I fit just about every stereotype there is. This is who I am. But that's not all I am. I am smart. I play football. I am respectful. I hold the door open for strangers. I work. I go to school. I have dreams. I look a person in the eyes and give them a firm handshake. This is also who I am. I said all of this to say. Some people would look at me on paper, and write me off. They may assume that I have this hard-to-pronounce name (blame my mother), and won't be successful in life. But I plan to be successful. If you see my name on the news it will be for making a positive impact in my community. This scholarship will make a difference for me because it will help me cover my school balance after my financial aid is dispersed. My long-term goal is to be a successful business owner. But how do you know when you have made it? Is success defined when you reach a certain income level? Or is success decided by the car you drive or the clothes you wear? According to Siri success is defined by the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Siri also points out that there is a thin line between success and failure. Success to me means giving all that I have to reach my goals. And then giving a little more. Success to me is not being defined by stereotypes. It means setting goals for myself and reaching them. Success to me is being in a position to give back to my community, and doing that. During my junior year of high school, I injured my knee. I am an athlete and had a very important football season coming up. I was concerned I would have to sit the season out. But I was determined to play. I had some MRI's done to see the extent of the damage. My doctor gave me a couple of options. Those options didn't include playing the season. I decided to plan. Before and after practice I would ice my knee. I would have to do the same after my games. I was in pain for the better part of the season. This was a time when I experienced physical weakness. But I played through the pain. There will always be obstacles. Some are inherent. We can't always change our current situation. But I believe with hard work and determination that our future can be what we make it. My future looks bright!

"Donuts with Dad". I hated this day when I was in grade school. Whoever created this day didn't take into consideration kids like me. Kids who have a father who is incarcerated. I recall being so embarrassed when people asked me where my dad was, or what he did for a living. How do you answer that? He's part of the justice system. I don't want to be like my dad. There I said it. Most young men look up to their fathers and aspire to be like them. The opposite can be said of me. My dad has been in and out of prison most of my life. The first time he was incarcerated was before my 1st birthday. He was released when I was eight. I had imagined what it would be like when he came home. We would go to the park. He would come and watch me play sports. Needless to say, I was very disappointed because these things didn't happen. By the time I was 13, he was locked up again. He ended his most recent incarceration about 1.5 years ago. While he was incarcerated my older brother, his oldest son was killed. Due to the nature in which my brother was killed, my father wasn't allowed to attend his funeral. I have been blessed to have some great father figures in my life. My paternal grandfather has been an integral part of my childhood. He retired shortly after I was born, and watched me while my mom worked. He is a pastor and one of the best men I know. I also have members of my grandfather's church congregation who were like father figures. Not to mention some uncles and countless cousins. They made sure that I was involved in sports. They taught me how to look a man in the face when I shake his hand. These men also taught me the importance of a man's word. I know I am blessed to have them. Because a lot of young men in my situation don't have positive male figures. But they were not my dad. I wanted my dad. I don't know that anyone except a kid who has experienced this would understand. When you see other kids with their dads, you envy that. My father has broken so many promises to me and my siblings. I can't even count them. My father has other kids that were born between his incarcerations. He couldn't be there for me. I have tried to explain to him how this affected me. My request to him is "be there" for my younger brothers. I don't want them to grow up with the void your absence created for me. I am going to go to school and get my degree. I will be successful. I am going to be an example for my younger siblings, and other kids in this same situation. We will show the world that we are not our fathers.

The book I wish everyone could read is All American Boys. The book is written by Brendan Kiely who is white, and Jason Reynolds who is black. It is a fictional novel. The book is about police brutality. Which is something that we see on the news often. But the book is written from the perspective of two young men who are directly affected by this brutality. But they are affected in different ways. One part of the book is written by Reynolds. He writes the book from the point of view of Rashad. He is accused of stealing some potato chips, and this leads to his run-in with the police. There is an altercation where he is severely hurt and ends up in the hospital. When I read this part of the book it made me think of Trayvon Martin. Martin was a black youth who was killed after an altercation with a security guard who accused him of looking suspicious. The second main character is Quinn, and this character is written by Kiely. The officer who beat Rashad is like a father figure to Quinn. There is a tight bond between Quinn and the officer. You get to see how Quinn is affected by all of this. I am sure there are a lot of books written on police brutality. But what makes this book stand out is that it was written from two different perspectives. We see the victim's point of view all of the time. But we forget that the aggressors have families as well. This book shows their point of view as well. This is a good book that makes you feel a lot of emotions. But more importantly, this book is a great starting point for some tough conversations.

Tommy King III. I know that name may not mean anything to some people. But it meant the world to my family. You see Tommy was my older brother. He was a freshman in college, and he was killed on Thanksgiving Day 2020. I was sad. I didn't think it was abnormal. My big brother had just been killed. I looked up to him. An older sibling may remember a time when the younger sibling didn't exist. But I didn't know a world without Tommy King III. The sadness wouldn't stop. It got progressively worse. I was a 14-year-old kid whose life was shattered. I was so angry. I was consumed with trying to figure out who had taken my brother's life. I felt guilty if I laughed. It was hard to express what I was going through. So I began to act out in school. Thank God my mother intervened. She took me to my doctor. I was diagnosed with depression. But I didn't want that label. I didn't want to take what I considered "crazy" pills. I just wanted to feel better. So I reluctantly began to take the "crazy" pills. My first prescription made me lethargic. So I went back to the doctor. The next prescription had side effects that affected my stomach. But it helped me feel normal. So my dosage was lowered, and the pill type was changed from controlled release to a tablet. This resolved my stomach issues. Then I started therapy. This was a huge help. My therapist explained that I wasn't crazy. She explained that every emotion I was feeling was normal. She also let me know that there is no specific way to handle grief. There is no timeline for grief. But I had to find a way to channel it. That I couldn't allow it to consume me. I felt like I was on my way to recovery. I feel like in my community people of color don't get the help we need. I see a lot of stigmas associated with mental health. It took me years to share my struggles with even my closest friend. Because I didn't want to be labeled as crazy. I didn't need "crazy" pills. Unfortunately, crazy is a label given all too often to people who suffer from mental health issues. I know that no amount of pills or therapy will bring my brother back. Everything is different now. But my medicine helps me. I suffer from depression. I have a mental illness. But mental illness does not have me.