Sometimes people need guidance in their lives, whether with mental issues, getting through life, or even with just a task and how to get it done. Some of us have been taught never to ask for help but it's a necessary part of life and even can be considered a skill to be able to talk and ask for help. I mostly witnessed this in young children as I would be attempting to help guide them through reading music and learning an instrument. They would not want to ask for help or were just too afraid, and I could see struggle, but no words to ask for help. However, I was the same when I was their age, a fear in me and a sense that I would be an annoyance if I asked for help, or I did stop to try to understand something more. So, With that drive, I felt as though I could help lead them not only in music but in life, as I help break them out of that fear that keeps them from asking for help, so then they can have that valuable skill and carry it throughout life. I come from a place where I didn't have much help, whatever I had, I had to fend for myself to get it, or I had to support my parents to have it. When it came to violin and music, at first I was on my own to learn, then I joined the program I am in now, Harmony Project, and I was getting guidance and being led down the right path. Now I wish to pay it forward, leading and teaching the next generation In the way of music and violin. That to me is leadership and how I show it, not just leading the next generation, but trying to inspire them and truly make them want to continue in music and everything that they have been given. There have been many times when I stepped into a classroom or a lecture, and immediately I can tell that the supposed "leader" isn't truly leading. They just give us information, not explain it. Or even worse they show they simply don't care to even try to inspire or show leadership and leave everyone in the dark. I wish to be someone who can change that in what I do. If a kid asks me a question I will answer, If they need help I will be there to assist, and if they're too shy to ask for help, I can gently assist them to make them still want to continue and better themselves. I say gently assist those who are shy, as I can tell that they need that more gentle approach to not frighten them off. I have heard and seen many times a teacher or some sort of leader, do so with fear. Preventing those who need help to ask for it, creating an environment where it can be hard to learn, and even likely destroying one's desire to learn and improve more. These are the "leaders" I feel as though we see more and more of now, and I do not wish to call them leaders. What I'm trying to be, and what I'm trying to do, is what I feel truly is a leader. Someone who inspires, who helps and works with those who follow along the way as one combined effort, and takes it one step at a time so they can grow and learn, and still come out wanting to learn and improve even more.

While I enjoy a lot of drinks from Starbucks, when fall rolls around the drink I will get a venti and never think twice about it is the Chestnut Praline. I've always loved the flavor that comes with it and it especially has a special part in my heart since almost every time I've ordered it with friends, it's ended up causing some great event or realization to happen to me as if it was a guide. It's a little humourous to think of a coffee as a guide or anything more than a drink, however, it truly does feel as such as I've had many things happen whenever I order the drink, maybe it's dumb luck or maybe a coincidence, but either way, it has a spot in my heart. A story that I fondly remember is when I told someone about my sexuality and felt safe doing so. I was with a friend and we were just hanging out at the mall, bought a few things, joked for hours on end, and decided to buy a coffee while we waited for our parents to pick us up. After we got our drinks and took a sip we got to talking again and then the topic of our love life came up, teenage things. She had talked about how she was talking to a few guys, but nothing had started and we were both glad of such, but when they asked me, all I said was that I had nothing to say. That there were no 'guys' I was interested in, and that's when the whole day became way more interesting. I don't care much for relationships, as much as I would like one it isn't necessary, however what makes this memory so fond for me I that I realized that one of my most troubling secrets, isn't exactly one of my most well-kept, and just now I made a mistake and let my sexuality slip. However even then I felt okay since I knew she would keep it safe and secret, and she has to this day, as if that praline had just given me the courage and led me in the right direction with its taste to let it out to someone. My sexuality is always something I try to keep secret, and if anything I try to hide it from myself. It does come out a lot when I'm not home or around anyone that can begin to talk and maybe cause my parents or anyone I'm not ready for, to realize that I am interested in other guys, a huge fear of mine. I went to lengths of even checking if anyone had entered and looked around my room, hiding things between the mattress or in the books in my backpack. Even as such as completely switching personalities at home and out with friends. So to let that fact slip, with someone who I was unsure if they would or wouldn't keep my secret was very terrifying. However in the end, maybe or maybe not because of the chestnut praline I was drinking, Everything turned out okay. And I couldn't be more grateful. I can assure you that this fall I will be ordering it once again if I am with friends, and I can't wait to see what may happen. Maybe my parents could learn to be more accepting of LGBT since it's their only son, and maybe I could admit something I wouldn't that I didn't even realize was a problem, The possibilities are endless.

@rig0_sm

I used to think that music was just something nice to listen to, something my mom would put on the car radio while we would drive to school, or so that things weren't quiet while she was cleaning on the weekends. From songs from our culture to ones that come from the USA, one thing I didn't realize then is that this music became a fond memory of my mother and the times we spent together. I never understood at the time why I liked music so much, let alone why others did as well. It was at one point just noise that made the world less quiet and made things more fun. But as I grew I came to realize that it's more than just a catchy noise, it's a way that people heal and come together, A universal language that everyone in the world knows and can understand. Even if we don't realize it sometimes. Music has become such a huge part of my life that I apply it to what I do and what I remember from days prior. I use music to help me reflect and balance my emotions. I find it hard to imagine my life without it. A way to make sure that my memories can be connected to not only the things I hear but so I can remember them in an even more meaningful way. Without music, my world would have been very bland. But with music, I can look out and see everything in a new way. I've had many times when I've listened to a song, with to without lyrics, and something about it resonated with me. From N.E.R.D & Rhianna's - Lemon, and how they start the song with. "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." To back ages and ages ago to Vivaldi's Violin concerto in A minor, RV 356; Op.3 No.6, and how the notes sound and track a rise in intense, strong, delightful sounds in the first movement, to down towards a more intense depressing tone in the second movement, then back to happy in the third. Once I've noticed these messages and how I view them, I applied those views out on the world. While driving to school and having a song playing in my head, depending on the weather. Or while doing homework and thinking of a song based on how I feel. Even just looking for the perfect song to play to try and match what I'm struggling with mentally, or even to pull me out of a depressive spiral. Now no matter what I do, there always feels like there's an appropriate song to play that can for what I see, what I hear, even my memories and what I read. On cloudy and cold days, with a general boring feel and almost monotone aspect, I think of "Sweater Weather" from The Neighborhood. Or when I look back on a day I had, and think about how I spent a fun and packed day of partying on a beach, I'll think of "Despues de la Playa" by Bad Bunny. It's simple, but at the same time so complicated, and it helped make memories precious to me. And I'm sure that out there others enjoy music all the same and do the same to make sure that those precious moments are made even better with a song.

Volunteering changed my mindset to give me a reason to live. Since middle school, I had a lot of hardships in my life from being bullied for four years on end without fail. To being caught in the middle of a police raid in my neighborhood right across from where I live, and was home alone scared while I heard gunfire outside and saw forensics as I leave and SWAT. And even just not being able to deal with my brain and my depression. I wanted out, I wanted to stop it all and save myself by dealing an unbearable amount of pain to those I know. However, Volunteering had given me a new sense of purpose. I was able to volunteer with my music program Harmony Project to advertise the services we provide. To give and promote music to communities where one can't pay for high-end music lessons. We allow them to learn. I was out and asked to just perform what I know to the public as they walked by at a school fair. And the looks I got from little kids, adults who liked what I say, the elderly, or even teens who had gotten their attention caught, given a sense of joy to know that I something they liked and that I loved doing. Soon I was volunteering inside the program as well, where I was able to teach the younger generations and beginner/ introduction level classes the basics and watch as they grow to learn music. The smiles that grew on their faces as they learned "Mary Had A Little Lamb" or other simple melodies, and the thank you's that I got as I helped teach the right fingerings on the violin or the note on the music, gave me a sense of, "I just helped and impacted this person." and it was even better when I would be asked by staff or kids for help, because then I realized, "They want me to help, they like my help." It gave me a reason to live, to help others. I say all of this because this scholarship would be a great help for me to get to my dream school. I come from a very low-income family, we work hard to get what we can and to be able to afford bills, taxes, and occasionally just something to break us out of that work-stress cycle. And in doing so, we haven't been able to set aside money for me to go to college. I have no college fund, any money that would be sent would be directly from my parents' bank account from working, and as far as I know, I am the first person in my family to go to college, and not just in the US as a first generation student. This scholarship would help me pay for my tuition, and help with the drastic expenses of college that I am already making plans to budget, cut, and reduce as much as I can. Living with family to keep from paying for dorms, helping them with cooking and food so I wouldn't need to buy as many groceries to sustain myself, even figuring out where I can get textbooks for free or for the cheapest price possible so I can have everything I need to get through my classes. Ever since I learned about college and its expenses in middle school, to the final push now, I've been going to claw my way to cheaper and a somewhat affordable college experience, which this scholarship would help bring me one step closer to.