Taylor Swift's performance of "Mastermind" during the Eras Tour is the one I find most moving because it reflects the pressures I've felt when seeking validation and friendship from others. Her performance takes place as the Eras Tour stage floor looks like a chessboard and her dancers are the chess pieces. As she goes throughout the song, the dancers follow Swift's directions on the chessboard, such as with the lyric "cascaded in a line." However, at the most vulnerable part of the song, there is a shift with the dancers. She sings, "No one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it seem effortless." At this point in the song, the dancers go all around her in different directions as if free from her control. Not only are the dancers free, but Swift is too. By being vulnerable, she is set free from the need to control those around her to get their validation. At the end of the song, Taylor and the dancers are now in sync, but not because she's controlling them. Instead, they are willfully united. This performance of "Mastermind" means a lot to me because I have felt the pressure of needing to be strategic to earn the friendship of those around me. Like Swift, I struggled, and honestly sometimes still do, to make friends. So, I have fallen into the temptation of being strategic in what aspects of my personality I express in hopes of making friends. As someone studying political philosophy, I especially appreciate Swift's reference to Niccolo Machiavelli. She says how she swears, she's only "cryptic and Machiavellian cause [she] care[s]". In my case, and seemingly in Swift's, fear dominated our inauthenticity. I have personally been strategic and inauthentic with those around me, not because of malice, but out of a desire to be loved and fit in. However, the reality is that one cannot control everything, whether pieces on a chessboard or people's perceptions. Eventually, like the dancers on the chessboard, we will lose control and crack under the pressure of pretending to be someone we're not. So, instead of performing for others, one should trust that the people who are meant to be in our lives will be there because they value the real us, not a fake persona. There is truly so much meaning tied to this performance. It starts with Swift commanding the dancers, or "chess pieces", continues with her losing control of them, but then ends with harmony born out of connection, not coercion. Ultimately, Swift and her dancers performing Mandy Moore's Eras Tour choreography for "Mastermind" is the one I find most moving because it reminds me that we do not have to perform or strategize people into loving us.

In my vocational calling in higher education, I plan to help students with chronic autoimmune conditions by being a proactive and supportive professor. Type One Diabetes is a condition I was unaware of before being diagnosed at 12 years old. However, it quickly became a critical part of my identity, and in just a week, I will reach the tenth anniversary of my diagnosis. Throughout this past decade, I have experienced many stresses, whether personal, academic, or emotional. However, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned, such as the importance of advocacy in education. Throughout my upbringing, I had many educators who cared not just about helping me navigate my academics but also my personal life, particularly with my Type One Diabetes. However, in college, there was a shift. Although university accommodations centers contact professors, unfortunately, many lose it in their inbox or ignore it. Therefore, I took on a more significant role in my accommodation process by learning to be proactive in communicating my needs. Though that has been a great tool in helping me mature as a young adult, I still often fear educators misconstruing my accommodations as a strategy to get special advantages. So, it is never lost upon me when a professor has been proactive in asking me how they can support my disability. In the great myriad of emails that professors receive, it can be easy to forget student needs. However, as a professor, I will be intentional about staying informed on which students may require individualized support and be proactive in asking how I can best support them. I know firsthand that self-advocacy, even as an adult, can be anxiety-inducing, but that professors being intentional makes a big difference. In addition to supporting students in my personal interactions, I will also help them advocate for themselves in interactions with other faculty. Although I have been privileged to have an overwhelmingly positive experience with educators, there have been a few negative ones. In high school, I went through a season of complications with my autoimmune disease that caused me to miss class frequently. Though I communicated appropriately, there was a teacher who met me with hostility and made me feel apologetic for circumstances that were beyond my control. At the time, I felt ashamed and stayed quiet. However, in hindsight, I wish I had spoken to school administration because of both ethical and, potentially, legal concerns. While I hope my future students would not go through similar experiences, if they did, I would have the tools to help them navigate them. I would also proactively be a voice among my fellow faculty to try to avoid these negative situations altogether. Ultimately, not only would I help students who have chronic autoimmune conditions in our personal interactions, but I would also help facilitate interactions with faculty who may not be as informed or able to empathize with them as easily. My disability has been significant in my desire to support students, particularly those with chronic autoimmune conditions who are pursuing higher education where there is often less personal support. The path to achieving my goals has not been easy, and the financial challenges continue to grow as I get older. However, I am thankful for opportunities such as the Diabetes Impact Scholarship that support people with diabetes who want to impact those around them positively. In my case, I will do so by being a proactive support for any future student of mine with a chronic autoimmune condition. I appreciate your consideration in supporting me on the path towards my vocational calling.

Starbucks' Iced Pumpkin Spiced Latte, or as it is more fun to say, a PSL, will always hold a special place in my heart. First of all, fall is my favorite season and has been since I was young, admittedly partially because of my birthday; which sidenote: I have less than two weeks left of being a teenager, which is crazy! While my birthday is still certainly part of why I love fall, it has more nuance. Fall also means Thanksgiving, the start of Christmas (which, in my mind, is November 1st), and the hopes of the Astros winning the World Series, though as of this week, that is unfortunately no longer the case. Fall also brings changing leaf colors, the wearing of flannels, including my favorite burnt orange button-up, and the onset of cool weather. Here in Houston, 70 degrees is cool enough to consider fall weather! Fall also includes, of course, the yearly resurfacing of the Christian Girl Autumn meme! I am a guy, but I still feel my fall essence represented in that meme, especially with people associating the archetype with Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte. I listed fall-related things because, as I said, I love fall, but also because my mind associates and marks the beginning of this delightful season with the release of Starbucks' fall drinks. Without a doubt, every year, the announcement of fall drinks returning reaches my Instagram, just as today, the announcement of their Christmas drinks came through my feed. (Peppermint Mocha is also top tier, by the way!) The announcement is exciting, but that first sip of my Iced PSL is even more delightful because I start thinking of everything to come. On a more personal note, my dad, growing up, was always the one to take my brothers and me to Starbucks. As a child, I always thought it was just a fun treat when we would go, but as I learned more about my dad's upbringing, I realized it meant more. Often, a parent's goal is to provide for their children more than their parents did, whether emotionally, mentally, or physically. While my dad strives to do all of those, I have noticed that something particularly important to him, no doubt because of his upbringing, is to provide physically. On the surface, it could be providing housing and other essentials, which is a blessing. However, more than that, he is happy being able to give us nonessentials like those Starbucks drinks. So, my mind will forever associate Starbucks drinks with gratitude towards my dad, whose birthday is coincidentally also in the fall. Though I love having a fall birthday, fall is when people start new grade levels and begin to look into their goals for the upcoming year. Those two factors, combined with my birthday, can lead to that familiar and often frightening question: "What am I doing with my life?" I have not always liked my answer to that question. However, I always know that I am continuously growing to steward properly the opportunities God has given me to be a light. As I get older, I may not jump in piles of leaves nearly as much as I should, but the yearly return and my first sip of the Iced Pumpkin Spice Latte take me back to childhood memories and even help me reflect. At the end of the day, if I can even have the fun of drinking an iced pumpkin spice latte, it is also a reminder that life is pretty great!

In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see how my future self has a stable family of his own that is in fellowship with our extended family, friends, and church community as I teach government as Dr. Richard Marquez, Ph.D. while making sure my children and students know to pursue their goals and thanking my parents and mentors for their time invested in me.