I am an older student pursuing a degree in special education with a focus on autism studies. My youngest three children are level five, non-verbal, autistic. Forever toddlers, in a sense. My husband could not handle life anymore and succumbed to his addictions. Everything is now resting on my shoulders, which is fine. They're my world, and I am very committed to taking care of these children for the remainder of my life. Raising them alone is a job so massive that I honestly do not know how I do it. There can only be one reason, failure is not an option for me. This must be done. My daily life consists of taking care of their health and educational needs. They require lots of physical and mental wellness checks. At school, they are attending to their Individual Education Plans. Besides their bihourly diaper changes, I have to feed them each different meals because of taste and texture issues. I am also responsible for bathing and dressing all three. I haven't had a day off in over ten years, and I don't see one coming any day soon either. My life revolves around them. That fact used to depress me. I would dive down the rabbit hole of self-pity. Then the realization that I was wrong and so was my mindset. I got off my selfish, self-serving high horse and woke up. They're not a burden, they're a blessing. Through them, I'll get to see and experience a side of life most others could never fathom. They gave me a higher purpose than just myself. I watch these children get up every day and fight to learn and grow. The determination to get that zipper up, or to keep that slippery noodle on their forks. The pride and joy of accomplishment after a twenty-minute battle. The struggles they face with a smile. They deal with things we will never know or understand. All their words and feelings locked inside of them. It really brings to light how much we all take for granted. Taking care of them made me stronger and more empathetic than I ever thought possible. I truly like the person they have helped me become. It's why I fight to be their voice and speak up for their rights and needs. I didn't choose this path, it chose me. I was made for this. I will help my own children and other children grow and learn as well. Thank you sincerely for your time and consideration, Rhonda Gifford

I am an older student pursuing a degree in special education with a focus on autism studies. My youngest three children are level five, non-verbal, autistic. Forever toddlers, in a sense. My husband could not handle this responsibility and sadly succumbed to his addiction. Everything now rests on my shoulders, and I am very committed to taking care of these children for the rest of my life. Raising them alone is a job so massive that I honestly do not know how I do it. There can only be one reason, failure is not an option for me. This must be done. My daily life consists of taking care of their health and educational needs. They require lots of physical and mental health checks. At school, they are attending to their Individual Education Plans. Besides their bihourly diaper changes, I have to feed them each different meals because of taste and texture issues. I am also responsible for bathing and dressing all three. I haven't had a day off in over ten years, and I don't see one coming any day soon either. My life revolves around them. That fact used to depress me. I would dive down the rabbit hole of self-pity. Then the realisation that I was wrong, and that was my mindset. I got off my selfish, self-serving high horse and woke up. They're not a burden, they're a blessing. Through them I'll get to see and experience a side of life most others could never fathom. They gave me a higher purpose than just myself. I watch these children get up every day and fight to learn and grow. The determination to get that zipper up, or to keep that slippery noodle on their forks. The pride and joy of accomplishment after a twenty-minute battle. The struggles they face with a smile. They deal with things we will never know or understand. All their words and feelings are locked inside them. It really brings to light how much we all take for granted. Taking care of them made me a stronger and more empathetic person than I ever thought possible. I truly like the person they have helped me become. It's why I fight to be their voice and speak up for their rights and needs. I didn't choose this path, it chose me. I was made for this, and these students are my future. Thank you sincerely for your time and consideration, Rhonda Gifford

I am an older student pursuing a degree in special education with a focus on autism studies. My youngest three children are level five, non-verbal, autistic. Forever toddlers, in a sense. My husband could not handle this responsibility and sadly succumbed to his addiction. Everything is now is resting on my shoulders and I am very committed to taking care of these children for the remainder of my life. Raising them alone is a job so massive that I honestly do not know how I do it. There can only be one reason, and that is because failure is not an option for me. This must be done. My daily life consists of taking care of their health and educational needs. They require lots of physical and mental health checks. At school, they are attending to their Individual Education Plans. Besides their bihourly diaper changes, I have to feed them each different meals because of taste and texture issues. I am also responsible for bathing and dressing all three. I haven't had a day off in over ten years, and I don't see one coming any day soon either. My life revolves around them. That fact used to depress me. I would dive down the rabbit hole of self-pity. Then the realisation that I was wrong, and that was my mindset. I got off my selfish, self-serving high horse and woke up. They're not a burden, they're a blessing. Through them I'll get to see and experience a side of life most others could never fathom. They gave me a higher purpose than just myself. I watch these children get up every day and fight to learn and grow. The determination to get that zipper up, or to keep that slippery noodle on their forks. The pride and joy of accomplishment after a twenty-minute battle. The struggles they face with a smile. They deal with things we will never know or understand. All their words and feelings are locked inside them. It really brings to light how much we all take for granted. Taking care of them made me a stronger and more empathetic person than I ever thought possible. I truly like the person they have helped me become. It's why I fight to be their voice and speak up for their rights and needs. I didn't choose this path, it chose me. I was made for this, and these students are my future. Thank you sincerely for your time and consideration, Rhonda Gifford

I am an older student aiming to get her degree in special education with a focus on autistic studies. My youngest three children are level five, non-verbal autistic. Forever toddlers, in a sense. My husband could not handle this responsibility and sadly succumbed to his addiction. Everything is now is resting on my shoulders and I am very committed to taking care of these children for the remainder of my life. Raising them alone is a job so massive that I honestly do not know how I do it. There can only be one reason, and that is because failure is not an option for me. This must be done. My daily life consists of taking care of their health and educational needs. They require lots of physical and mental health checks. At school, they are attending to their Individual Education Plans. Besides their bihourly diaper changes, I have to feed them each different meals because of taste and texture issues. I am also responsible for bathing and dressing all three. I haven't had a day off in over ten years, and I don't see one coming any day soon either. My life revolves around them. That fact used to depress me. I would dive down the rabbit hole of self-pity. Then the realisation that I was wrong and as was my mindset. I got off my selfish, self serving high horse and woke up. They're not a burden, they're a blessing. Through them I'll get see and experience a side of life most others could never fathom. They gave me a higher purpose than just myself. I watch these children get up every day and fight to learn and grow. The determination to get that zipper up, or to keep that slippery noodle on their forks. The pride and joy of accomplishment after a twenty-minute battle. The struggles they face with a smile. They deal with things we will never know or understand. All their words and feelings are locked inside them. It really brings to light how much we all take for granted. Taking care of them made me a stronger and more empathetic person than I ever thought possible. I truly like the person they have helped me become. It's why I fight to be their voice and speak up for their rights and needs. I didn't choose this path, it chose me. I was made for this and these students are my future. Thank you sincerely for your time and consideration, Rhonda Gifford

I am an older student aiming at a degree in special education with a focus on autistic studies. My youngest three children are level five, non-verbal, autistic. Forever toddlers, in a sense. My husband could not handle this and succumbed to addiction. Everything is now resting on my shoulders, and I am very committed to taking care of these children for the remainder of my life. Raising them alone is a job so massive that I honestly do not know how I do it. There can only be one reason, failure is not an option for me. This must be done. My daily life consists of taking care of their health and educational needs. They require lots of physical and mental health checks. At school, they are attending to their Individual Education Plans. Besides their bihourly diaper changes, I have to feed them each different meals because of taste and texture issues. I am also responsible for bathing and dressing all three. I haven't had a day off in over ten years, and I don't see one coming any day soon either. My life revolves around them. That fact used to depress me. I would dive down the rabbit hole of self-pity. Then the realisation that I was wrong, and so was my mindset. I got off my selfish, self-serving high horse and woke up. They're not a burden, they're a blessing. Through them, I'll get to see and experience a side of life most others could never fathom. They gave me a higher purpose than just myself. I watch these children get up every day and fight to learn and grow. The determination to get that zipper up, or to keep that slippery noodle on their forks. The pride and joy of accomplishment after a twenty-minute battle. The struggles they face with a smile. They deal with things we will never know or understand. All their words and feelings are locked inside them. It really brings to light how much we all take for granted. Taking care of them made me a stronger and more empathetic person than I ever thought possible. I truly like the person they have helped me become. It's why I fight to be their voice and speak up for their rights and needs. I didn't choose this path, it chose me. I was made for this. Thank you sincerely for your time and consideration, Rhonda Gifford

I am an older student aiming to get her degree in special education with a focus on autistic studies. My youngest three children are level five, non-verbal, autistic. Forever toddlers, in a sense. My husband could not handle life anymore and succumbed to his addictions. Everything is now resting on my shoulders, which is fine. They're my world, and I am very committed to taking care of these children for the remainder of my life. Raising them alone is a job so massive that I honestly do not know how I do it. There can only be one reason, and that is because failure is not an option for me. This must be done. My daily life consists of taking care of their health and educational needs. They require lots of physical and mental wellness checks. At school, they are attending to their Individual Education Plans. Besides their bihourly diaper changes, I have to feed them each different meals because of taste and texture issues. I am also responsible for bathing an dressing all three. I haven't had a day off in over ten years, and I don't see one coming any day soon either. My life revolves around them. That fact used to depress me. I would dive down the rabbit hole of self pity. Then the realization that I was wrong and, so was my mindset. I got off my selfish, self serving high horse and woke up. They're not a burden, they're a blessing. Through them I'll get see and experience a side of life most others could never fathom. They gave me a higher purpose than just myself. I watch these children get up every day and fight to learn and grow. The determination to get that zipper up, or to keep that slippery noodle on their forks. The pride and joy of accomplishment after a twenty minute battle. The struggles they face with a smile. They deal with things we will never know or understand. All their words and feeling locked inside of them. It really brings to light how much we all take for granted. Taking care of them made me a stronger and more empathetic than I ever thought possible. I truly like the person they have helped make me become. It's why I fight to be their voice and speak up for their rights and needs. I didn't choose this path, it chose me. I was made for this. Thank you sincerely for your time and consideration, Rhonda Gifford

This will be my second time writing an essay of this nature. The first time was twenty-five years ago. My father didn't believe in education and thought my college funds could better serve the entire family. Being a first-generation student means overcoming significant, long-delayed hurdles. In the last twenty-five years, a lot has happened, but I never got to fulfill my dream of getting a degree. I had been happily married, and we had several children. My youngest three were born non-verbal, autistic. They can't take care of themselves in any way and will need care for their entire life. The weight of this led my husband down the road of addiction, and he succumbed to it. I have been taking care of the children single-handedly since. I haven't had a day off in over ten years and probably never will. I don't mind as I love them deeply. Their condition means I spend a lot of time in the life skills classroom. Caring for my three level-five autistic children taught me profound lessons in empathy and resilience. It's here where my passion for teaching these children grew. They are the forgotten and misunderstood of their school and community. The staff took notice of how well I get along with these children and how much I understood them, considering their inability to speak. I could see that pinky wiggle wasn't a child stemming, but their attempt to sigh "J" for juice. They were thirsty. I have been offered a job as soon as I can complete my degree. These students and their parents deserve a teacher who is compassionate and understands their unique needs. Another person who can truly empathize with their situation. I am dedicated to becoming such, even though I am an older student with no support. I won't let this opportunity escape me again. Your scholarship would help make this possible and keep me from going completely into debt to do so. I'm still supporting a family of five while doing all this. Despite being told it would be impossible to raise my children alone, especially the handicapped ones. I have done it like a boss. I am taking this on with the same level of commitment. Even if I don't win, I am truly grateful for the opportunity you presented here. These scholarships change lives, so thank you sincerely. with gratitude, Rhonda Gifford

Like most women, I never planned on or thought I'd be a single mother. I also wouldn't call it a "journey". That sounds too peaceful. It was more like getting thrown down the side of a rocky mountain and landing in a white, rapid river. I've just been staying afloat ever since, somehow. My youngest three children were born with severe autism. They don't speak or take care of themselves. This revelation is what led to the path of single motherhood. You see, I somehow signed up as one of God's strongest fighters, so of course, he knew I could handle this huge task alone. What could there be to stress over. (insert deep sigh here) Putting all humor aside, my husband succumbed to his addiction. We had to leave, and I've been keeping us afloat somehow. I haven't had a day off in over ten years. There's not one coming anytime soon, either. I will be responsible for my kids for the entirety of my life. After years of careful planning, I am now pursuing special education with a focus on autistic studies. Working with my own children and others in the life skills classroom, I decided to embrace my true calling. I have the knowledge and empathetic touch required to be a great teacher for these unique students These kids are the most forgotten and misunderstood. They need someone who understands them and encourages their growth. Their parents need a teacher who genuinely wants the best for their kiddos and sees all of their potential. I am committed to creating a classroom where my students have the compassionate atmosphere they require and deserve. I've had to learn to organize and plan accordingly to accomplish this. My classes are when my kids have classes, and the rest gets done in the night when everyone else is resting. I've also had to learn to deal with the unexpected. Kids will teach you that real fast. It's just about getting back up and going even harder. I will accomplish this one way or another. I've got Mother Hubbard's cupboards and my car runs on a prayer, but we're still pushing. That's what we mothers do. Your scholarship would help make the waiting period between now and completion a lot easier. Even if I don't win, I appreciate the opportunity you gave me here. There aren't many scholarships for women in this predicament, so finding yours is inspiring. Thank you for this, sincerely. With Gratitude, Rhonda Gifford

Every scholarship essay I have written has been edited and super professional. The raw details of my reality seemed too unpalatable for the audience. With this scholarship being for older women, I'll assume y'all have been through some things and don't require the fluff most seem to be expecting. My youngest three children were born autistic, non-verbal, and diaper-wearing. They will be so for the remainder of their lives. The work and patience required is astronomical. My husband of fifteen years could not handle them or the responsibility. He turned to alcohol and other substances to escape reality. He lost himself there and became a different person. A vile and violent person. Like many silly women, I stayed way too long in the hope he would change back. Before we escaped him, I had been abused in ways I won't bother to elaborate on, even here. What I can go into detail about a little is the mental abuse. Having been told daily of my lack of intelligence and physical unattractiveness. It was expressed how I could never do better, and he was the best myself, and my children would get. That he was more than we deserved in his eyes. I was able to get help from the state, and we planned an escape, which was successful. I spent a month in a hidden domestic violence shelter till I was able to get us a place to live. I did just that and more. In a little over a year, I was able to get us a home, a new car, and the peace and stability we all needed. The kids are now thriving and doing better in school. One of my children even started speaking a little. Their condition means I've spent a lot of time in the life skills classroom. This is where my teaching aspirations come from. The instructors there and myself noticed I connect with these students on a different level. Like my children, even without words, I can understand and communicate with them. I was offered a job as soon as I could get my degree. Another thing I was told I could never accomplish. I'm forty-three years old, and I'll admit that with everything on my plate, going back to school full-time is daunting. Like most things I wanted, I was told that it was impossible. I'm committed to achieving this goal no matter what. Not just for my children and a career, but for me. At the end of my days, I want to say, "You know my life was hard and complicated, but I handled it like a boss." I want to feel proud of myself and show my other older kids that anything is possible at any age. I want to be the daughter my mother would have been proud of. I understand this isn't the most professional or clean essay you'll read, but it felt good just to be honest and get it out there. Thank you for that. Thank you also for the opportunity. The fact that this scholarship exists gives me hope. Being brave for others is a lot easier than being brave for yourself. I will accomplish this goal one way or another, even if it terrifies me. I deserve this, so does my family. Thank you so much for your time and consideration. With Gratitude, Rhonda Gifford

My interest in teaching wasn't planned on or even something I had ever considered. It was something that chose me. It started over ten years ago in a life skills classroom. I had been living my normal life, married, happy, building a family like most do. I had started to notice my daughter wasn't developing like she should. I was pregnant with my twins when we found out my daughter was autistic. She's the non-verbal, forever in diapers variety. Within a few years, I found out my twins had the same condition. This would inevitably bring me the life skills classrooms. To say raising mentally disabled children is challenging would be an understatement. What's needed is the right mindset and tools. I have got the mindset, but I need more tools to move forward. My children's demands led me to spend many hours in their classrooms. It was there that teaching was thrust upon me. Not only was I able to connect with other students but I was also able to help and understand them. The wiggle of the pinky finger wasn't a tic; it was a student saying they're thirsty and wanted juice. They just were unable to sign it properly, but I understood what they meant. Another student refusing to wear his pants wasn't being disobedient; the tag was too much for them and just needed it removed. A child stomping the floor was being naughty; they were regulating their anger and taking it out on the floor instead of another person. So much unseen progress. Multiple staff at multiple schools expressed how I should be teaching these kids instead of just visiting. Now that my own children are older, I am determined to do just that. I will have to take care of my children for the rest of my life. I may as well have a career that meets their needs and life. A job where I can actually help people, like my children. The children who are often forgotten about but have the most to learn. I am dedicated to this and will spend my life helping and teaching these students. Your scholarship won't change that, but it would make getting to that point a little easier. I'm grateful that you offer this opportunity for us, future teachers. Even if I'm not chosen, thank you to whoever you do end up helping. All teachers are the foundation for society, so anything gifted our way is appreciated. I appreciate all you do. With Gratitude, Rhonda Gifford

I am an older student aiming to get her degree in special education with a focus on autistic studies. My youngest three children are level five, non-verbal autistic. Forever toddlers, in a sense. My husband could not handle the huge responsibility and sadly lost himself to addiction. Everything is now is on my shoulders and, I am very committed to taking care of these children for the remainder of my life. Raising them alone is a job so massive that I honestly do not know how I do it. There can only be one reason, and that is because failure is not an option for me. This must be done. My daily life consist of taking care of their health and educational needs. They require lots of physical and mental wellness checks. At school its attending to their Individual Education Plans. Beside their bihourly diaper changes, I have to feed them each different meals because of taste and texture issues. I am also responsible for bathing an dressing all three. I haven't had a day off in over ten years and I don't see one coming any day soon either. My life revolves around them. That fact used to depress me. I would dive down the rabbit hole of self pity. Then the realization that I was wrong and, so was my mindset. I got off my selfish, self serving high horse and woke up. They're not a burden, they're a blessing. Through them I'll get see and experience a side of life most others could never fathom. They gave me a higher purpose than just myself. I watch these children get up every day and fight to learn and grow. The determination to get that zipper up, or to keep that slippery noodle on their forks. The pride and joy of accomplishment after a twenty minute battle. The struggles they face with a smile. They deal with things we will never know or understand. All their words and feeling locked inside of them. It really brings to light how much we all take for granted. Taking care of them made me a stronger and more empathetic than I ever thought possible. I truly like the person they have helped make me become. It's why I fight to be their voice and speak up for their rights and needs. I didn't choose this path, it chose me. I was made for this. Thank you sincerely for your time and consideration, Rhonda Gifford

If I had to describe my life in one word it would be, unpredictable. I spent the first decade here on the ocean. I don't mean a beach house either. It was actually a house Boat. My father was an alcoholic and very abusive. My mother took off and left my little brother and myself, alone, with him. My father remarried. A Lady named Suzanne who was not very nice to me. She had two children of her own. A girl my age and an older boy. They were also cruel. The boat couldn't fit us all so we ended up on a farm. Everything was wonderful, except the majority of my family members. It was the nineties so I was able to escape outside for hours at a time. The farm animals were my closest friends. My parents eventually had another child, my little sister. She is still like a daughter to me. However the stress of raising her, getting good grades and working was taking its toll on me. At the beginning of my sophomore year I was called into the nurses office. I was very noticeably exhausted and thin. When I stepped on her scale it said 86 lbs. That is not very much for a sixteen year old girl. The state was called and I was emancipated shortly after. I moved myself one town over, got an apartment and even graduated high school. I was ready for the local community college and all that was left was the payment, which I had covered. I saved every dime since I was a little girl for my college. I had almost 9000$ in total, or so I thought. In hindsight, I should have known better. My father was on that account too. I was only eight when I opened it. He had taken all of it but left the 5$ necessary to keep it open. I gave up on the idea of college after that. I worked in the restaurant business mostly. Eventually, I got married and had a bunch of kids. We weren't rich but we were living the dream. We were truly happy. A few years after my youngest three were born, we started seeing signs that they were not developing like our others had. We found out shortly after, they were level five autistic. They will never speak, learn to use the toilet or be able to take care of themselves in any way. Forever toddlers pretty much. My husband started to crack. Over the next ten years he would spiral down a dangerous road. Eventually his addictions got so bad we had to flee. The state helped us hide for a month while I got us our own place. I have been taking care of everyone by myself since then. I've learned that the only way forward is self determination and to count only on ourselves. Life can be hard and its up to us to see it through. If it was easy everyone would be successful. The youngest three will live with me my whole life. It is because of them I am persuing a career in special education with a focus in autistic studies. I want to be there for these kiddos in the way that they deserve. As someone who is raising three of her own I see firsthand how misunderstood they are. This would also provide stability for my long future with my own children. I may not have chosen it but, I was made for this. Thank You sincerely for your consideration, Rhonda Gifford

My life revolves around the mental health of others. two thirds of my family are level 5 autistic and everything, every day is working within their limit and emotional state. What most take for granted is a monumental accomplishment in my home. I also have to take care of those in my home who are mentally well to keep a healthy balance. The stress of caring and living with mentally handicapped people is extremely difficult. I have to find ways make sure every ones needs and mental health are taken care of as well. Without that foundation everything collapses quickly. The collapse I speak of came for me in the form of my family falling apart. my husband could not handle the stress of three disabled children. He turned to drugs and alcohol to tune out reality. I picked up the pieces and got us a new home to start over in. to say doing this alone has been hard would be a monumental understatement. The responsibility is gargantuan and thankless. I fight to stay strong every day. Its why I am studying special education. The more I can learn the more I can help families like mine. Learning to take care of my own mental health first has been the most important element in my goals to help those struggling around me. There is also the need for financial stability i hope to get from a career. I will be responsible for my three disabled children for the remainder of my life. The importance of mental health comprehension in priceless. For some people like me, others mental health can change the course of an entire life. My mental health and how I handle it, is my children's whole world. Like a spider web connecting us all together. Thank you for your time, sincerely Rhonda Gifford