Out of respect and privacy for her family, I will not use the real name of the friend I lost. I will never forget the last time I ever saw my best friend, Ruby. It was March 9th, 2020, and she drove me home after spending the weekend together. Spring Break had just begun, and I was excited to spend the coming week with her. She gave me a hug, told me she loved me, and drove away. She had never done that as a way to say goodbye before, but I did not think much of it. I did not realize what she planned to do just hours after. Ruby suffered from severe depression, and had been previously hospitalized after an attempted suicide. She spend a week in rehabilitation and was released. She was prescribed antidepressants and attended therapy, but she often confided in me that her medication made her feel even worse, and her therapist did not seem genuine in helping her. Ruby often told me that her antidepressants made her feel like she had no emotion, like she was a robot. Yet without them, she felt extremely depressed and would suffer from panic attacks as well. The last weekend I spent with her, Ruby showed many warning signs of wanting to commit suicide. I remember she asked me, "If I died and came back as a spirit, how would you like me to haunt you?". I thought it was a strange hypothetical question, and told her, jokingly, that she should come back as a Volkswagen Beetle, her favorite car. I thought it was a silly response and we both laughed, but now, every time I see one of those cars, I think about her. I loved my best friend, I still do. I loved hanging out with her, playing video games together, going on walks in her neighborhood, staying up late telling stories, and talking about our future plans in life. I often think about how different life would have been for the both of us, had she still been alive today. We were seniors in high school when she committed suicide, and now I am in college. She would have been attending cosmetology school, and we would have had an apartment together. March 9th, 2020, was the last day I saw Ruby. We texted throughout the rest of that day, up until she stopped responding to my texts around 11pm that night. Her last words to me ever was, "I guess I'll just die". She had been venting to me about some issues with our friend group, and how some of our friends no longer wanted anything to do with her. I tried to comfort her, and I told her that no matter what, I will always be her friend and be there for her. I will never know exactly what was going through her mind in those last moments. I hope she at least knew that despite her troubles in life, there were still people who cared about her and loved her dearly. For her own privacy as well as for the family's privacy, I will not go into deep specifics of how exactly she committed suicide, but it was in such a way that no one would have been able to find her until about three days after she went missing. It seemed that she did not want anyone to find her, she did not want anyone to try to save her life. The loss of Ruby devasted me. I could not eat or sleep properly for months. I still think about her almost every single day. Her fight with depression made me realize that the way we approach mental health issues is in need of real reform. We cannot continue to ignore all of those who have lost their lives to suicide. We need better treatments, we need more people to take suicidal ideation seriously. This is one reason why I choose to pursue a degree in psychology, so that I can do my part in being the change I wish to see in mental health care. I do not want another child, teenager, or adult to suffer the way that Ruby did. My own grief pushes me to continue to pursue a higher education, so that I can make a real difference in this world, and save lives.

Being a first generation college student, my parents always tried to convey to me how important school is. Even now, my mother often tells me "you can't rely on having a husband, you must always rely on yourself". Financial security and independence was always a distant dream for me. My education is important to me because I wish to secure my own financial independence, and ensure that no more families have to live in poverty, as I once did. Growing up in a family that never rose above the poverty line, I never had the privilege to worry about the normal things that most children worry about. I always worried if we would have enough food for the week, if the rent would be paid, or if we would get evicted for being too late on the rent. I remember multiple occasions when I would come home from school to see the all too familiar bright orange eviction notice taped to the door. I learned pretty young that this meant we would either have to move yet again, or be forced out on the streets. My older brother did not have the privilege to stay in school and continue his own education. Seeing my family struggle to pay the bills, he dropped out in middle school so he could get a job and provide for my family. My father was heartbroken, knowing that his own son had to sacrifice his future for the present wellbeing of the family. All of this effort, just to continue to barely scrape by, in an economy that continues to crush the hopes and dreams of working class and poor families. My primary goal in pursuing a higher education was to escape the endless cycle of poverty, and give back to my family, who works so hard for so little. As I learn more about the endless struggles of those in poverty, I learned that being poor is far more common than anyone thinks. As wages continue to stay stagnant, and prices of essential needs continue to rise greatly, I realize that our once great nation is a shell of its former self. I love this country. I love it so much that I wish to see it grow, to see it improve. I wish to see the American Dream become revitalized again. In order to accomplish this, we must push for reform in our economy. Those who work hard deserve to be able to pay rent, to buy groceries, to have a family, and never worry about being homeless or going hungry. With my education, I hope that I can not only secure my own financial needs, but create reform that ensures that the levels of poverty in this country decrease, not increase. There is a lot I know that I can accomplish with a higher education. Getting a degree in psychology opens the doors for many different career paths. Although I wish to use my degree for treating mental illness and substance abuse, I see no reason why that should be the only thing I do. I plan on using both my finances and my knowledge to advocate for economic reform in this country. Education is important to me, because my goals in life are to secure financial independence, and ensure that every American has the opportunity to do the same. It will always be among my beliefs that anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it. This is why I know that reform is possible, because I have the power to make it possible; we all do.

Among all of the books I have read in my lifetime, my favorite one is The Giver, by Lois Lowry. It is a novel about a society that appears to be a utopia, but soon is revealed to be a dystopia that suppresses the emotions and freedom of thought of its citizens. I read this book when I was in 6th grade. The book was gifted to me by my English teacher at the time. I was about to move schools, and when he found this out, he gave me the book as a going away gift. He was the first teacher to ever recognize my talents for writing, and ultimately encouraged me to continue to pursue this talent. As a child, I felt ignored by most of the adults in my life, but having this one adult to uplift my spirits is what inspired me to continue to write and genuinely care about my education. The Giver by Lois Lowry has deep sentimental value to me, and is an incredibly interesting and thought-provoking novel. Among all the books I have read within my lifetime, this one novel is my all time favorite.

Had I received $1,000 right now, I would save it for my housing costs at The University of Texas at San Antonio for the 2022-2023 academic school year. My housing cost per semester will be roughly $4,000, so any financial aid would be greatly appreciated. I much prefer living on campus verses living with my parents for a variety of reasons. My living situation with my parents is dysfunctional, and I do not have any personal/private spaces there. There is also a great deal of distractions there, and I fear that living with my parents would cause me to drop out. Living on campus also provides me the opportunity to have access to my classes. I do not have a car, so commuting from home would be almost impossible. I also find it to help with my grades and focus to live on campus. If I received $1,000 right now, I would use it for my college dorm housing costs. My education is important to me, and one of the key factors to my success is living on campus.

One major reason why individuals struggling with mental health issues do not seek the help they need is because mental health care is incredibly inaccessible. For people without insurance, treating mental health issues can cost upwards of thousands of dollars. Therapy, medication, and admittance to a mental health facility can be quite effective, but can put people into severe debt. Even with insurance, there are many out of pocket costs, and most people cannot afford to take time off work to properly treat their mental health issues. A practical solution for helping people who struggle to access the help they need is enacting policies that require more employers to provide full-time employees with paid mental health leave. Although this might seem like a difficult goal to achieve, we can begin with policies per state. There is already strikes across the nation for workers to have more rights, and paid mental health leave should be one of these rights. When people can actually access the help they need, they can begin their own mental healing process.

One of the more profound memories from my early childhood is of my mother being admitted into multiple rehabilitation centers on various occasions due to her issues with substance abuse, anxiety, and depression. There were even a few times that my mother had nearly overdosed and almost lost her life. As a child, I did not know what to think of my mother suddenly disappearing for weeks for her rehabilitation treatment. All that I knew was that my mother had an illness, and needed to go somewhere to get better. For myself, this idea of substance abuse as an illness continues to stay with me. My mother had issues with Benzodiazepines, as she was prescribed Alprazolam for her generalized anxiety disorder in the early 2000s. Despite being a highly addictive drug, doctors prescribed large quantities to my mother, enough for her to take roughly three a day (about 5mg). This general disregard for the health of patients resulted in a prescription drug crisis, and has affected not only my family, but the families of millions of Americans. These highly addictive prescription drugs are not given to patients nearly as often, and usually in far less quantities, but this has not solved the issue. The unfortunate truth is that since former patients of these highly addictive drugs are not receiving the amount they previously received, they must make up for the loss by seeking illegal and highly dangerous alternatives. These alternatives range from buying counterfeit pills laced with deadly additives, to using drugs such as heroin and methamphetamine. Even those who seek help for their addictions will often relapse, being trapped in an endless cycle of addiction. As a direct witness of the impacts of substance abuse, my goal in majoring in psychology is to use my education to make meaningful changes in the way drug addiction is treated. I believe that there is not one single “cure all” for people suffering from substance abuse. Rehabilitation centers and therapy work for some, but not for all. There needs to be far more treatment options, as well as more awareness surrounding drug use. I want to do everything in my power to develop new and improved treatment methods, so that there are more options for individuals to receive the help they need. One major issue in our society is that drug users are looked down upon. They are ridiculed by friends and family, and told to just “stop using drugs”, causing many to be too embarrassed to seek the help they need. Some people do not understand the physical and psychological grip that addiction has on drug users. For people without insurance, rehabilitation can cost upwards of thousands of dollars, making treatment almost impossible to receive. Furthermore, trying to quit without medical assistance is highly dangerous and can even result in death. Among my goals in treating substance abuse, I want to make all treatments for drug addiction far more accessible for those who cannot afford the costs. Every individual who wants to seek help for their drug addiction deserves to be able to receive that help. There needs to be more options, and less stigmas surrounding drug addiction. In my eyes, The American Dream includes the chance for any individual to be redeemed of their past actions and seek prosperity. My goal in my future career is to make this dream a reality for every victim of substance abuse.

Having a mother who suffers from generalized anxiety and an older sister who suffers from schizophrenia, I have witnessed the impacts of mental health issues in a society that often disregards these types of struggles. Growing up with a family suffering from severe mental health issues has inadvertently caused myself to develop issues with severe anxiety and attachment issues. One of the earliest memories I have is a birthday celebration for myself turning four. I remember various members of my distant family mingling downstairs, while I hid under my bed, hoping no one would talk to me. While being afraid of people who are practically strangers is not unusual behavior for a child, I would struggle with socializing with people and maintaining personal relationships for my entire life. I was labeled as “weird” for rarely speaking up and socializing, and for dressing in dark colors that symbolized how I felt on the inside. I felt as though I was undeserving of friendships and love. Witnessing the friends of my mother leave as her mental health struggles become too much to handle, I feared that the same would happen to me. I learned to not let anyone become too close to me. When I began attending high school, I met many people who shared my experiences. I soon made friends with the other “weird” and shy kids and felt less alone. Yet this did not suddenly cure all my issues with anxiety; on the contrary, my issues with anxiety began to manifest in new ways. I developed attachment issues, and would drive people out of my life. With my first boyfriend, I would constantly want to be around him and become unreasonably upset by any amount of healthy space between us. When it was expressed to me that I was practically suffocating him, this made me even more upset, making me believe that once again, I was undeserving of love. It was not until I was older that I learned to cope with these anxiety and attachment issues. These experiences throughout my childhood and early adulthood made me realize that most children and even adults do not receive the proper help they need for their mental health issues. I was never properly assessed for mental health issues, despite displaying many symptoms of anxiety disorder. When mental health is left untreated and ignored, it can destroy relationships and ruin lives. I was lucky enough to receive the help I needed sooner rather than later, but this is unfortunately not the case for many other individuals who suffer from mental health issues. This realization for me is what has inspired me to pursue a degree in psychology and career aspirations to help people suffering from mental health issues. I strongly empathize with the mental health struggles of individuals, and I believe that there needs to be more advocacy and awareness surrounding mental health. My hope is that one day I can discover innovative methods for treating mental illness, and getting rid of the stigmas around people seeking help.

Throughout my childhood and early adult life, I faced challenges that no child should ever have to face. My father had fallen victim to the opioid and prescription drug crisis during the 2007-2008 recession, and my best friend committed suicide during our junior year of high school. These events are some of the reasons why I wish to pursue psychology. Despite having a costly addiction to prescription pain-killers, my father worked endlessly to support our family the best he could, working over 40 hours a week and selling every vacation he was offered so that we could continue to have a home, even if it was a mere two bedroom apartment that was shared among my father, mother, brother, two sisters, and my niece. Although the economy had eventually recovered from the recession, my family did not. My father lost his job in 2010 and myself along with my mother and siblings were forced to live at a homeless shelter, separated from my father since the shelter did not accept men at the time. After some time, my father found another job, yet my family never escaped the endless cycle of poverty. Due to the hardships my family faced throughout the years, my father has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He can no longer care for himself, and my mother manages the finances of our family. My father receives social security disability income for his mental health issues, but it is barely enough to support my family. Even now, I can truly only rely on myself for all my own expenses. Addiction ruins lives, and there was never enough support for the issues my father faced. If rehabilitation were more accessible for the working class, he could have received the help he desperately needed. Among the challenges I have faced throughout my life, there is one major event that defined my high school career. In 2020, my best friend lost her battle with depression, resulting in her suicide. In the events leading to her suicide, there were many red flags that many of us around her seemed to either ignore, disregard, or simply not notice. She had previously attempted suicide a few months prior, and was admitted to a mental health facility and eventually put on anti-depressant medication. She confided in me that her medication was causing her to feel even worse. When she took the medication, she said that she “had no emotion and could not feel anything”, yet without them, she felt “extremely depressed and anxious”. Most of the adults in her life disregarded her emotions and simply said she needed to “think more positively” and “stop being depressed all the time”. They believed that mental health issues can be fixed simply by thinking differently. Many people forget that our mind can become riddled with disease, like every other part of the human body. Everyone failed her. Even I failed her, by not taking her threats of suicide seriously. I thought that her issues were normal, that every teenager experiences depression and anxiety, and it was no cause for concern. This is a major issue in how most people approach mental health issues, one that I hope I can change. With an education in psychology, my goal is to help individuals who suffer from issues related to substance abuse as well as mental health disorders, which I believe are usually intertwined in some way. Every person deserves a chance to overcome addictions and seek help for their mental health issues. I hope one day, I can assist in developing effective treatments for people suffering from addiction and mental illness.