I have just finished my fourth internship in the mental health field of art therapy. I got to experience and learn how to best support those struggling in both inpatient and outpatient settings. I worked with kids as young as 5 and older adults as old as 103. I’ve been learning and implementing skills of collaboration with clients to help them define their goals and make actionable and achievable plans towards progress. In my work I always have art supplies with me and invite clients to create images of things they want to communicate or problems solve. The art is a great way to set tone of distraction from the more intense feelings or ruminations they may be experiencing. While doing the art we can talk about what’s on their mind and how we can bring it back to their goals. I always take the stance of active listening, collaboration, and problem solving using the tools I’m learning in my Masters Art Therapy program to help others who are seeking help with mental health.

I struggled with early childhood trauma that led to panic attacks, trichotillomania, depression, and dissociative symptoms. I didn't know what was going on for a long time or why. I would try to get help but didn't even know where to begin. I was discouraged when medicine didn't help, and I didn't have a clear idea of how to get better. Throughout the years of seeking and accepting different community services, I am feeling and functioning better by leaps and bounds. learned that it is normal and okay if medications don't work the first time; there are others to try. I learned that if one therapist isn't a good fit, trying to find another is okay. I better understand systems and how to self-advocate in them. I have seen mental health systems work well, and I have seen where they can improve. Because of this, I pursued an undergraduate in psychology and am currently getting my Master's in Art therapy. I wish I had someone when I was younger to ask me the right questions and to let me know what I was experiencing were normal responses to challenging situations. Once we name what is going on with us, it's easier to figure out what actions we can take to start making life easier. For me, it's been finding the proper medication, fostering sound support systems, and lovingly separating myself from those who I'm not my healthiest self with. It's about doing some prep work when I have the better days to prepare for when my executive functioning isn't at its best. This way, when I'm feeling especially rough, I don't have to think about what tools and how to use them; I already have a plan. It's important to emphasize and believe in the hope factor that things can get better, that other people have experienced similar things, and that we aren't alone. I sincerely have deep compassion for those suffering, and I know it is not easy to deal with mental health, and it's not simple to get help, but I know people are fighting to make these systems for healing better, and I intend to be one of them.

1984 by George Orwell. I pick that book up every few years and I always find it powerful. It is easy for our brains to be tricked with misinformation; they are great at working for efficiency but often sacrifice accuracy. Because we go through life forever encountering new ideas and groups of people who make those ideas an identity (for good or bad), it is imperative we be vigilant about scanning our held beliefs and habits. It is easier than we think to fall prey to divisive rhetoric and ideology. What 1984 does an incredible job with, is showing how speech, charismatic characters, and othering of groups can manipulate anyone. I would have everyone read this book because I see how divided we are over so much. “How can that person even think that way!?” is ruthlessly parroted back at each other. We tend to overlook that the thoughts people have formed didn’t happen in a vacuum, there is social media, family members, religious leaders, news anchors, etc that tint what we see and believe. Critically thinking about where we get our information, and having compassion for those who have only been exposed to other ideas is key to operating with integrity. We all will end up with some false ideas either way and understanding that it’s easy to be mistaken and persuaded can help us admit when we are wrong and have compassion for those who we think are wrong. A solid course of action is to value people individually and as a collective, favoring questions and compassion over demands and hate.

I am still learning the correct techniques for painting, but the love and dedication to pursuing the medium are alive and well. I put down my art supplies for a while after the death of my Father who was my main painting partner. When I was feeling less grief it became clear to me that not making art was not the kind of lifestyle I wanted. After I got my BA in psychology, I knew I had to go back to school and take more art classes, honoring that part of me that was valuing an increased level of creativity I had neglected. I am excited to now be studying in a Master of Art Therapy program. I have been inspired by some of the less "beautiful" spaces encountered in day-to-day life. It's interesting to look closely at some of the slice-of-life settings or objects that we see every day but don't give much thought to. One of the attached images is of the beloved but disheveled art studio I was in. I was inspired by all the movement and commotion with the angles of the paper, the wobbly chair, and the miscellaneous items thrown on the cabinet. It's a still scene, yet there is a lot of energy there and that juxtaposition is something that I like to explore. Nature has always and will always be inspiring. I have a lot of reverence and awe for nature but when that inspiration is translated into art it has mostly taken the form of photography. This prompt makes me question why I haven't brought my watercolor kit on hikes sometimes instead of my camera. The first two pieces I'll upload are paintings, but to include a show of appreciation for landscape I'll attach a photography piece also.

Having a healthy lifestyle is important to make the most of your life, feel your best and abate the negative health repercussions that would result from an unhealthy one. Because most of us want to live our best lives for as long as possible it is crucial to prioritize responsible habits on a day-to-day basis. What the responsible habits for a healthy lifestyle look like to me are eating well, exercising, and taking care of mental health. I eat a rainbow of colorful fresh fruits and vegetables, vary my diet, and keep refined sugars low. I am diligent in getting the essential amino acids and omega 3s. I do this by reading labels and not bringing junk food into my home in the first place. I don’t just eat well out of obligation, I also do this because real food is so tasty! Junk food is so heavily marketed, and sugar is sneakily added into so much, so it can be easy for people to forget that a well made salad or a delicious homemade soup can be just as enjoyable an option as Pizza Hut. The more you eat well the more you figure out what your favorite healthy foods and snacks are. For example, my current favorite breakfast is either oatmeal with chia seeds and walnuts, or an apple with cinnamon and no sugar added peanut butter. Enjoying healthy food options and tailoring your meals to what you like is a big part of maintaining the habit long term. For exercise, I take a long walk almost every day which is both good for cardio and to get the Vitamin D from the sun which is helpful for mood. I do yoga which helps me with muscle strength and calm. Most days I have a list of to-dos which include work, school, and chore tasks, but I also pencil in an exercise. This serves as a visual reminder that physical health is also something important not to neglect. Again, making the exercise fun is key, so music or a podcast to accompany me is a great way to look forward to the active time. Eating well and exercising both play directly into good mental health, but I am also diligent about journaling my strong feelings and then making problem-solving lists when stressed. I check in with myself with a gratitude list of things that went well for the day and an idea of what I want to aim for the next day. I am proud that I am getting good at practicing positive self-talk when I start to catastrophize or feel overwhelmed. I label my feelings, let myself experience them, and then recalibrate to look at what I can and can not control. If there is a worry which is in my control to help solve, then what does that look like? Is it something that I can’t change? Then I work on not feeling the pressure to solve the unsolvable. Another big thing for good mental health is having an enriching hobby. For me, that is having good books on hand because reading brings me a lot of joy and comfort. The practice of eating well, exercising, and keeping up with mental health have become important habits that I value as maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and I recommend everyone find their version of it.

I learned that I am good at problem-solving. I used to doubt my capability to achieve certain goals, but the more I have worked on these skills at work, at school, and at home, I have found that when a problem arises, there are always ways to tackle an issue. When I run into what looks like a dead-end I say to myself "Ok, that's tricky. What is the next logical course of action." I get intentional with journal strategies, research, and looking to others with more knowledge than me. If I take a step back and do not allow frustrations to get in the way, I can see that things are often less dire and complicated than they may feel. The more I have succeeded in making goals happen (small and large), the more I trust myself that I can do it in the future. Self-efficacy! A recent example of a problem that felt big but I solved, was that of housing between semesters. I looked clearly at my finances and assessed the moving parts that needed to be aligned. I got rid of my car and got a bike which eliminated the monthly insurance fees, gas, and maintanece expenses. I connected with my work to see if they can transfer me directly to a location close to school so I would not have to waste time and money looking for another job once I got to campus. I contacted my school to see if they had summer housing available to students who started in the Fall, and I connected with family to see if I could stay with them to carry the remaining gap. Learning that I was good at problem-solving is valuable because it helps me feel more confident in my life as a whole.

A healthy lifestyle is important to me because it can help prevent illness in the future. It helps me feel my best, but is also fun! What a healthy lifestyle looks like is encouraging exercise as entertainment or social activity. It’s feels rewarding and meaningful when getting together with people to go bike riding, hiking, climbing, etc. The physical activity also helps me feel stronger and more capable at other things. A healthy lifestyle touches all aspects of a persons life. If you are committed to being healthy it means you choose to eat real fresh foods which give you the right kind of nutrition to help you feel and operate at your best. I pay attention to what I put in my body and if I realize I haven’t varied my fruit and vegetable intake enough, or need more protein, etc , I make it a priority that my next meal addresses that need. Paying attention to how my body feels is a big deal for me and I’m intentional about seeing what is working and what is not. For example, if I’m feeling especially sluggish I can look to see if I got the right quality of sleep, or maybe I haven’t got enough vitamin D recently and so will go outside for a soak in the sun. Keeping an eye on mental health is another important part of having a healthy lifestyle. I address this part with therapy, yoga, and journaling. Staying active, social, eating well, and attending to my mental health creates a healthy lifestyle that helps me live my best life as a whole.

Creating and engaging with art can help people see the world with more clarity and better express their feelings. Despite the piece I submitted being less technically skilled than some of my others, I chose it as one of my favorites. I appreciate the subject matter and think I captured the apathetic and tired energy well. I like that there is no face on the figure because it gives the viewer the freedom to picture themsleves or someone they know as the person in the chair. I like to think there is something raw and real there because the model was being himself at that moment. He was not acting to pose; he went to the chair and sat in it the way I had seen him sit at his desk many times before. I don't know how this person was feeling, but the way he carried himself suggests maybe he wasn't thrilled to be at school, maybe he was tired, was he bothered? By what? When I have sat that way, how did I feel? Art invites you to take the time to look at something and ask those questions. Art as therapy can help soothe some of the loud emotions and questions in our minds. I intend to help people help themselves using art as a tool for increased mental wellbeing by pursuing my education and career in Art therapy. Often I hear people saying they "could never do art", to which I always enthusiastically respond, "Anyone can do art!" I absolutely encourage anyone to at least dip their toes into a creative hobby. The barrier to entry is just the mental wall between you picking up a pencil and paper and deciding to create. If you are intentional about being kind and nonjudgemental with yourself it can be another form of mediation. You can free form noodle around, or you can try to recreate a specific idea or image. Like with anything, the more you do it the more comfortable you become and the more you learn. I try to help the community with my general cheerleading of art and my specific commitment to becoming an Art Therapist.

Salvador Dali's, " The Burning Giraffe (1937)" is one of my favorite pieces of art. Dali was one of the first surrealist artists I encountered and this painting, in particular, was an introduction to a different way of seeing art. When I look at the painting, I see Dali captures a feeling I don't see represented very often. We all have moments or dreams that have felt off or ominous. To see that not only someone else feels that strangeness, but can capture it in such a way, is powerful. Though Dali was all over the map, he did have great insights and skills. The great thing about surreal art is you have the option of searching for the meaning. I interpret the image of the woman with the drawers built into her, perhaps having secrets locked inside and she is propped up with stilts because secrets can get weighty. With the burning giraffe in the background, at first glance, it's strange and confusing and makes you feel a little uncomfortable, but life can be that way too and it's good to feel that and look deeper to see what can be behind that. I know that Dali meant the giraffe to symbolize the possibilities of war and we need to wake up and pay attention, but I think that idea goes way beyond that one scenario, and we should be intentional in paying attention to more things in our lives. The power of art to get people to think is one of the best things about it, and "The Burning Giraffe" is one of my favorites because it does just that.

"You are doing this for the dog!". This is what I say to myself for motivation. What this means to me is two things; it represents financial stability and being a good person. I have had a longtime dream of getting a dog and having a place with a yard for it to run. The specifics of this dream may change, but at the heart of it, is for it to come true I will first have had to accomplish a series of other goals. I know that to afford this canine dream, I will have had to continue my education and land a better job. I will have worked hard and saved money. This means that daily I need to be mindful of my financial choices; I will need to display responsibility and resolve. If there is a difficult assignment and I feel depleted and need that extra push to get it done, I can say to myself, "You are doing this for the dog!" and I can smile and get it done. The second part about being a good person is born from the saying, "Be the person your dog thinks you are". It is a fun way to look at how I try to conduct myself. Dogs think you are the best. I want to be honest, hard-working, and kind regardless, but it's a nice anchor to think of it especially in honor of a future companion.

The process of getting my undergraduate degree was a difficult situation that I persevered through. I didn't have parental help paying for school and until you are 24 FAFSA goes by your parent's income, so I didn't qualify for aid. I also didn't have cosigners for loans, so that left me with the only responsible choice of delaying full-time education until the government would help with subsidized loans. This situation was not just financially difficult, but emotionally difficult because I felt behind my peers. I needed to work enough to pay to live and set aside money to afford some classes as I went. This journey ultimately gave me a lot of life skills. I had to learn quickly how to handle money and how to organize my time. I have more confidence in my ability for patience and tenacity. The struggle forced me to discard a rigid timeline I had defined for myself, and also set my resolve for education even more because I was not taking it for granted. I am so thankful to have completed my bachelor's degree at 30 years old and am honored to be going to graduate school soon.

The combination of reading a lot and being physically active makes me happy. Sitting down with a cup of tea and almost any book is an immediate comfort. Reading at the end of a long day can be a great escape into another world. Something that I most enjoy is doing a mini book club with a friend, each reading a book that has a movie made from it. After separately reading the book we come together to discuss it over coffee and then watch the movie. Even if the stories or films end up being structurally lame, the process is always a blast. That there are forever new stories to jump into is exciting and brings me joy. Because I spend a lot of time curled up with books, I also make sure to balance my downtime by getting out and moving my body. Yoga, Zumba, hiking, long walks, etc, I make sure to do at least one moderate physical activity weekly. Being active is fun and gets me out of my head, helping me feel physically and mentally strong.

An important life lesson I learned is that being a beginner is a great thing to be, and you can always start something new. I am thankful to have had an extended stay with a family member in her late 80's. I was in awe of her. This woman was actively learning about things she felt she didn't understand, such as podcasts, video games, and how to use youtube for fixing things in her home. She had decided that she respected math but wasn't familiar with it, so what did she do? She got a stack of books about the history and theory of math, and zipped through them, researching her questions throughout the way. Seeing this older woman's insatiable curiosity and a go-getter attitude, I felt silly having felt so behind in skills I saw my peers having. Several of my friends code for a living, but although I felt learning to code would be an important and interesting skill, I had in my head that because I had not studied it earlier, it would be too difficult to learn now. After seeing an octogenarian intentionally put herself in situations where she was a newcomer, I was inspired. I found a free online program that walks you through the basics of coding and so I have now learned HTML, CSS, and am working on Java. I will continue to use this life lesson by saying yes to new opportunities that I may not yet know how to do. Does a friend want to go bouldering? Let's hit the gym. Does a shirt need patching? Let's get the sewing needle out. This has made me stronger because it allows me to be more self-sufficient and well-rounded. With this new realization, I have tried new music (I now love jazz), I can cut my own hair (saving a ton of money), and most importantly, I have opened myself up to try even more new things in the future. Being a beginner at something is not embarrassing, it is exciting. Being a beginner means that you are trying something new, and no matter your age you can always start.

Friendship means showing up for each other. It means good communication, honesty, patience, and intentionality. I stress intentionality because especially as you get older life gets hectic and people move away so it's important to foster healthy friendships and gently release the ones that no longer make sense. I am thankful to have a core group who have stuck with me and I them, for over a decade now. The friendships have been made stronger by hard conversations, many laughs, lots of love, and continued presence. Even though it is hard to get together in person now that we live far from each other, we stay in touch with cards, Skype, group messages, and visit in person when we can. We all know we are there to support each other in wins and through struggles. I hope everyone can find a few solid people who are not only defined as friends but also as found family.

When I encounter what seems like a wall in the way of something I am trying to achieve, I collect myself and take inventory of the situation, realizing problems can be solved. If I make a point of seeing obstacles more as puzzles instead of dead ends, it makes challenges feel less daunting. The more you solve these problems the more confident you feel in your ability to solve other ones because you have seen yourself succeed. Being realistic helps you keep the growth mindset. Having a growth mindset means you are going to be doing things you don't yet know how to do and that can be tricky and sometimes frustrating. Not expecting things to work out right away and instead being patient with yourself, helps you not be discouraged. Instead of giving up, breathe and come back to the problems with clearer eyes.

"Listen first. Have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out". This is the wisest thing I have heard. I am not sure where I first heard this but especially now with the increasing polarization of the US political climate, and tensions brought on by stress exacerbated by the pandemic, more and more this comes to mind. Listen first. I am thankful for this perspective because I have friends with wildly different views from me and them from each other, and why we get along is that we listen before making assumptions and character-based judgments. We disagree often and about a lot but because we start from a place of respect instead of animosity, it's less likely we will get defensive and shut down communication. If you enter into an interaction with the intent to listen instead of trying to change someone's mind it makes a big difference, and I wish more people took this approach. This wisdom argues for listening with the idea that you might not know what others do and vice versa, that you are not opposed to changing your mind if a valid case is made, while simultaneously exercising judgment and critical thinking as to not be sucked into alluring falsehoods (open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out).

Emmerson, Thoreau, Mary Oliver, and many other lovers of nature got it right when they acknowledged the positive power nature can have on our wellbeing and "souls". There is a lot to be learned from nature and if you are paying attention I think you can only be humbled by it. Being in nature helps me reset and get away from some of the noise of everyday life. My preferred activities are active ones, hiking being at the top so I am frequently outside and vocal about encouraging others to do the same if it's available to them. Respecting nature with my actions is one of the most important ways I show my appreciation for it. A basic curtesy but still important to mention, is being diligent in packing in and packing out all of my gear and trash when being outside and bringing a bag to pick up stray pieces from others on the way back. Also important is being a conscious consumer. In being intentional about the goods I buy I try to keep my carbon footprint low, and to add less unnecessary waste back to the earth. Opting for biodegradable options when offered, buying used over new, and trying to patch things first instead of tossing and replacing, are ways I show appreciation for nature. There is an organization out of the bay area called "Forests Forever" that I'd like to plug, because they send out updates on threats or successes related to California forests, point you in the direction to petitions or causes and encourage you to write legislators if one of the issues moves you, and suggests articles or podcats related to environmental issues. I try to put my money, actions, and vote where my mouth is to keep/get nature healthy and accessible.

My goal for education is to work in a field that uses my strengths to be most fulfilling for me and most healing for others. My goal for life is to weather changes and challenges with grace and flexibility, holding responsibility and kindness as core values. My specific education goal is to study to be an Art therapist. I am combining my respect for and experience with art, with my undergraduate degree in psychology and desire to help others. I have been accepted into a full-time Masters of Art Therapy program that begins in the Fall of 2022. After the first semester of the program, I will begin the first of 4 internships where I will be learning to work hands-on in different therapeutic settings ranging from learning with the older population, children, group, and individual therapy. If I want to help people, why therapy, and why Art therapy instead of traditional talk therapy? As a society we have made great steps in destigmatizing mental struggles, but we have a long way to go, and even when people feel able to ask for help, services are limited, so I know it is important to get more thoughtful people into positions where we can expand treatment. Art therapy is exciting because the brain's relationship to creating art is fascinating! Neuroplasticity is real and making new connections is the key to growth. Making art itself can heal but people being intentional in expressing themselves with art takes that to another level when trying to first find words is limited. For transparency, in considering how I see my vision for education making a positive impact on the world, I'm not sure I have a plan for how to take the skills I will learn to a macro level, or at least not yet, but I do believe in my ability with the help of colleagues and the openmindedness of patients to make a positive difference with individuals and the local community.

In my personal life, self-care looks different depending on the week. Often self-care for me is doing yoga which afterward I almost always feel stronger and more optimistic; caring for your body as well as the mind is crucial. Sometimes self-care is writing down a list of things that are bothering me and a column next to them with possible steps I can take to solve those problems. If some of those problems are something not in my ability to fix, I write reasons why that may be the case and a reminder that not everything is in my control and that that is ok. Setting boundaries and being clear with yourself and others about those boundaries is big-time self-care. An example of this during the pandemic was when people were asking to get together, my boundary was saying if I were to participate in the event, it either had to be outside or inside with masks and few people. Sometimes self-care is carving out time to relax, but sometimes self-care is making sure you are proactive in handling time-sensitive things in your life so you don't get overwhelmed with to-dos while trying to enjoy downtime. By practicing these habits of yoga, journalling, time organization, and boundary setting, my quality of life has greatly improved, allowing me to be mentally clearer and physically stronger.