My Contribution to STEM The incredible Albert Einstein once said, “A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it was built for. So simply said, but always to so many different aspects of ones’ life. When Covid-19 first began, there was confusion, hate, despair, and so much pain. Between the constant turmoil in our homes, hospitals, and nursing homes, and the havoc it imposed on our own bodies, and those of our loved ones. Speaking for myself, I felt broken, scared, and terrified for our future. It felt as if everything I thought I knew was crumbling to the ground. Things you take for granted every day. In 2019, there was so much going on in the world. It felt like everyone I met or spoke to had an opinion. But no matter how many opinions they had, there was one thing I never heard or saw, action. Our hospitals, businesses, and communities were losing good men and women every day. Whether it was a medical technician who spent his/her last days tending to patients instead of their own families, showing people true empathy in the worst and last moments of their life, or it was the local business owners, providing essential services or goods to their community until they were forced to close their doors due to lack of support or funding by the government or ways to sustain themselves. It was a long and difficult road, but in 2020 I decided I didn’t want to just be one of the many people who had an opinion, I wanted to be a person of action. It was during this year I found my calling and passion for radiology, more specifically MRI technology. During my own battle with covid I was fortunate enough to be in the care of some pretty incredible and compassionate doctors and medical staff. It was the grit and determined mentality of these heroic individuals that gave me a new outlook on a lot of different situations. After I was discharged, all I was able to think about was how I wanted to give myself to a higher purpose. One day, I wanted that to be me that provided amazing care to an individual in one of the most difficult moments of their lives. As this experience had a profound impact on my life, I can say for certainty that if God and the incredible company, Accusoft Corporation, as well as its owner Jack Berlin, sees fit to bless me with this incredible scholarship, I would not waste a penny. It is not about if, but when I am able to graduate. If I were able to use this scholarship to graduate and contribute to my community, I would never forget who contributed to my success and forever be grateful. I desire to, one day, pay it forward and create my own scholarship, aiding women like myself in their pursuit of education in STEM.

Overcoming the obvious After being diagnosed with essential tremors since I was 15, I was extremely apprehensive about a lot of simple things others take for granted on a daily basis. My inability to steady my hands, my voice, anything really made it nearly impossible to do simple things such a hold a cup, writing my name, doing my makeup every morning. It wasn’t until my early adulthood I came across a new ultrasound therapy that was developed for individuals struggling from tremors and or over stimulated nerves. What the technology does is use localized ultrasound therapy to stimulate a portion of the brain that controls motor functions and nerve sensitivities. Ever since discovering this new technology I have been more and more inspired and dedicated to understanding the details behind therapies such as this, as well as driven to providing incredible care for my own patients one day. When covid ravaged and depleted our incredible medical staff, I knew then was my moment to get involved. I want nothing more than to be a blessing in the same ways countless medical staff have blessed me in the worst and scariest moments of my life. My goal and prayer is that you would bless me in the opportunity to use every single penny of this incredible scholarship to not only show my amazing five year old daughter, but women from all walks of life that while life does not equally distribute opportunity, your grit and determination is all that truly matters.

Overcoming Mental Health Fears The incredible and intelligent, Jackson Kiddard once said, “Go to your fears, sit with them, stare at them. Your fears are your friend, their only job is to show you undeveloped parts of yourself that you need to cultivate to live a happy life. The more you do the things you’re most afraid of doing the more life opens up. Embrace your fears and your fears will embrace you.” I heard these words about three years ago and have lived by them ever since. I felt that they so accurately depicted what it is like living with chronic anxiety. As an individual living with extreme social anxiety, every day I wake up, I make a conscious decision to engage in life and new experiences. I make a point to push myself outside of my comfort zone every day all to achieve any level of growth. To me, it is about striving for the best balance of everything you handle on a day-to-day basis. I am a mother, a daughter, a student, a friend. I achieve that balance by writing my thoughts down. Sometimes it’s just a passing thought, and sometimes it’s six of seven pages of detailed memories or experiences. I also use a tool referred to as The Calm App. For years it has aided me in moments where it is a little more difficult to ground and steady myself. I have been extremely thankful for this resource and ones like it. I can’t count how many times I have utilized this application. It has helped me with insomnia, agitation, and most importantly, my anxiety. I also like to focus on ways one could physically engage in activity and exercise that aid in overcoming anxiety, such as running, boxing, and lifting weights. God has also blessed me with a love for music. As a young girl I remember my grandmother and aunts introducing me to so many different types of music. Music has an ability nothing and no one else ever has. One moment the crushing anxiety makes me feel like finding somewhere to hide, the next, I’m listening to Mischa Maisky's Cello Suite No.1 in G. It occurs to me moments later that I have begun to catch a normal heartbeat, and I realize I can finally start to breathe. I pray that music never stops having that effect on me. More than anything, I pray that my daughter sees me display these healthy ways of coping and overcoming anxiety and stress and follows in my footsteps. My ultimate dream is for my daughter to understand that no matter the obstacles that seem to be in your way, if you want something as bad as I want an education and Shawn’s Mental Health Resources Scholarship, anything is possible. I know there are many that deserve this scholarship, but if given the opportunity to pursue my education in STEM, I will make every penny of this money worth it!

My Truth The great Mya Angelou once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Every day I wake up and look at my beautiful daughter, I remember quotes by strong women such as Mya. I try to imagine all the strong women in the past. Women who have cried, struggled and scraped just to give their children every sliver of love, attention, and kindness. I am truly blessed to have such a gentle, sweet, and intuitive little girl. Every time I look at her, I am reminded exactly why I write essays until 3:40 in the morning. Every time my daughter smiles, I remember why at almost 31 years old I am re teaching myself algebra. Everything I do, is to make sure that someday, my daughter will have the opportunities that I never did. When my daughter’s mother and I separated, I didn’t know if I could ever be the type of parent my daughter deserved. All I knew was that I loved her more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I also knew that if God trusted me with beautiful soul, it was my job to work harder and be a better role model I have ever been. My entire life I have only ever put other’s needs in front of my own. I have prioritized other individuals’ goals and dreams and helped them achieve them. When I became a single mother, I realized just how much it matters to show your child things instead of just telling them. Most people would bet against a single parent, more than likely because they have never been one. This past two years has shown me exactly what I am made of. If I am the individual chosen to receive such a blessing as the M.R. Brooks Scholarship, I will work harder than I ever have to solidify my place in my community. To not only bring education, skill, and experience to the table, but to also bring inclusiveness, empathy, and compassion. My goals include eventually graduating with a bachelor’s degree in Radiography and then perusing a Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) certification. I also desire graduating with the knowledge of at least two additional languages. If being part of the LGBTQ+ community has taught me anything, it has been to always strive to provide an environment of inclusiveness and comfortability. During the pandemic, I had endured a sickness unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was an MRI radiographer that was able to connect with me in such a time of sadness apprehensiveness. It was in those days to come that I would truly start to evaluate my contribution to my community, my daughter, the world. I was never so happy as the time I knew without any hesitancy how exactly it was that I wanted to contribute. If awarded with this incredible scholarship, I wouldn’t waste a single day, a single penny. I would show my daughter by example. If given the opportunity to receive this incredible award, I want to lead by example. I want to show my daughter every single day I wake up and juggle essays and prayers at bedtime, or scheduling placement tests while making glitter covered popsicle stick dolls, that I can do this. And that there is nothing that I couldn’t or wouldn’t do to show her that hard work, grit, and belief in yourself can make anything happen.

My Truest Joy The late beautiful and incredible, Ruth Bader Ginsburg once said, “My mother once told me two things constantly. One was to be a lady, and the other was to be independent.” Incredible words to live by. My truest joy would be for my daughter to always remember her worth, and to never forget her potential. Every morning, I start my day off with my daughter waking me up. Her whispers so close to my ear, it tickles. She has always been early to rise, just like I was when I was her age. Don’t we as mothers all hope at some point or another, that our children will mimic us? I know I did. That was until the day I overheard her mimic something that I did that was not so kind. It hit me just then. My daughter watches everything I do. If I want her to be kind, strong, compassionate, I will need to show her these things by setting the most positive example. I want her to emulate the characteristics that will make her an amazing human being. I hope that with the experiences gained through my education, it will not only be beneficial in allowing me to grow as a contribution to my community, but I also believe it will allow me to grow into a better mother. That alone would be a contributor to my joy. My ultimate goal is to show myself and my beautiful daughter, the most important person in my life, that no matter the obstacles, or lack of opportunity, that you can always persevere. I have found recently after becoming a single mother, that reminding yourself of your worth can be one of the purest forms of joy.

My Future The hope for my future is to be more than I ever assumed I would be. I look forward to every milestone, big or small. When you are a child, you have hopes and dreams, that for some, are quickly shattered by reality. I believe that I am part of that very large percent of people that are just waiting on their moment to finally live up to their potential. I believe that it is finally my time to prove to myself, that I am worth more. On June12th 2016, at 8:30 am my life changed forever. My beautiful daughter was born. From that moment, my life was changed forever. I knew from that moment; nothing could ever be more of a priority than her. And since the moment I laid eyes on her, I have only thought of how every decision I make will affect my daughter. I know that through my actions and effort, my daughter will see that her potential is infinite. Every day I wake up thankful for my daughter, and the courage she invokes in me. I would like her to see that strength and emulate it. I make a conscious decision every day to try and be a better example and role model for my daughter. It is my desire to eventually obtain my bachelor’s degree in radiography. My hope is to peruse an additional certification for Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI). I want to one day be part of the solution and not just part of the problem. I want to be an asset to my community.

My Purpose Sitting on the floor of my grandmother’s trailer, I never thought my life would unfold the way it has. When you’re young, you carry this naïve belief that somehow, everything will work out. I grew up in a small town in Minnesota, where the cold air could take your breath away. I grew up in a different kind of cold, a different intolerance. I have felt like, since the moment I was born, nothing was in place for me. I learned from a young age, that if I wanted anything in life, I would have to try harder than I ever had, and I would be doing it alone. Along the way I put myself on the back burner and I made myself less of a priority. I have over time, started to believe in more. I have started to believe that I can be more. I have realized that to be the best person, to be the best mother I can be, I must first set an example. The example is, never let anyone tell you that you cannot have what you want. I am thankful that through my effort, my struggle, and strife, my daughter will never know a struggle like the one that I have known. My hopes are that through education, I may truly find out what I am capable of. I look forward to showing my daughter that with hard work and dedication, she can do anything she wants, be anything she wants. I want her to see from my actions, and not just my words that this beautiful world of opportunity is waiting for her. Life doesn’t equally distribute opportunity, but with hard work, I believe anything is possible.