I lived in a single parent household due to my father's passing. He was struggling through various internal issues as well as post-military depression and a divorce with my mother. Before he passed, he was still very active in I and my sister's lives, so losing him was a huge loss in many areas. Though I don't like to think it mattered more than his physical presence with my family, the financial burden from his death hurt my family significantly. For reasons beyond my understanding, my nana - his mother - took all of his life insurance money. My sisters, my mother, and I never saw a penny of it. This led to some very hard times for us, including temporary homelessness. There were days we only ate once a day, and even then, it was something small. Though we eventually did get back on our feet, I can't help but think about how life would be if we would've gotten any of the money my father left for us, or if he had never died at all. After those thoughts linger, I take a breath, and simply accept life as it is, not as it could've been. Currently, I am attending Purdue University and going for a career as a professional pilot. Pilots have more influence than I've ever had as a little black girl in Texas, and I want to use that influence to start a fund for those in a situation like mine, or something similar. Online I see so many stories of people who were deserted by family after a tragedy happened, and I want to do something about it with a personal charity for this kind of situation. I won't let this happen again if I can prevent it, I refuse to.

My father was an SRA in the Air Force and - though his time was short - was quite decorated. He did aircraft maintenance and participated in Operation Iraqi Freedom, so he never was without important work. He was discharged the year I was born, and from then on was my loving father up until he passed away. Though I have many military men in my family, my father is the one I was always expected to be the ‘second coming’ of. Aside from being his child, I was the eldest, I looked like him, I had his intelligence, and most of all, I loved the idea of flight. This is what led me down a path to joining the military, whether I liked it or not. One thing I kept asking myself was if it would’ve been what he wanted, would he be proud of me if I didn’t join the Air Force? Well, a while ago, I took a discovery flight. I was in the cockpit of a small training plane used to show me if professional flight was even something I’d be able to do. Would I get airsick? Too little oxygen? What if I was just scared of being that high up? All these questions, plus a few more, were answered after my first flight. My father’s shoes lingered much heavier after that flight. Rewatching old videos of him and I, or looking at pictures, you can see nothing in his eyes but love for his child. How could he be disappointed in me for doing the one thing all parents want for their kids? Following their dream! I realized then what I wish I realized years ago, when my grandmother and aunts had me with them talking about my future military career and what I’d do: This was always my choice. My father died without ever leaving me a message saying to “Join the military or I’ll be disappointed”. He left the very year I was born, and never re-enlisted because even though he could’ve been captain with his smarts or higher, he chose me. He chose family. His legacy was great, but it was not just what he did in the military, it was what he did for me. That is why I will not enter the military, at least not yet. I want to experience flight my own way, and I don’t want to be held back military-wise in any way. I know that this is what my father wanted for me, not to be another him, but to be the best me. I am not likely the only person to feel this way about their parents’ legacy, and I know that for some, their families are a lot pushier with the choice of joining the military. Through my education, I want to show others in my position that this route is not only possible, but it is okay. No one is tainting who their parents were by not going down their immediate path, and that’s a message I think everyone like me should hear. Through my success I want others to see the real dream my father had for me, my happiness. He wore combat boots, and was legendary when he was wearing them, and I won’t let anyone forget what he did for this country and my family. But now? It is time for me to hang them up and put on my own shoes. Oh, and an aviator jacket!