Motivation can be a bitter sweet thing. It can fuel a fire within you but also burn you from the inside out. My children have played a major role in pursuing a higher education. Ever since the day I laid eyes on both of my children I was motivated to be the best version of myself for them. I wanted to be the best wife, the best housekeeper, the support system I never received from my own mother and the ride or die mom I knew that they would need. That motivation made me want what was best for them in all aspects of life and made it easy to sacrifice myself for them in any situation. Unfortunately, this motivation also led me to believe that staying in an unhealthy relationship was worth it because at least they had us both. It made me down play my desires as a woman, a person and individual because I wanted to make sure that they always had me right by their side. I had allowed myself to wither away into depression and be consumed with self doubt and anxiety. I became bitter and angry. I hid this side of myself convinced that something was wrong with me which made me overcompensate in all areas of my life. It wasn't until I allowed myself to attend a fall quarter at my community college that I realized I was exhausted. I had made sure everyone around me was cared for and catered to but ignored my most basic needs. I completed that quarter but decided to change my narrative. I left my unhealthy relationship, got a place for me and my children after saving and working non-stop and promised my self when my children were in school to go back to school to pursue my degree. In 2019 my youngest went into kindergarten and I picked up where I left off. I have faced many obstacles as we all did during the pandemic but kept pushing forward. I wanted my kids to see me love myself and nurture my dreams and ambitions with hard work and dedication. This year I will receive my AA. This may not mean much to anyone else but to me it is the first mile stone marker in my marathon. My kids gave me motivation to do better things but more than that they pushed me to believe that I was worth being the best I can be for myself and in turn for them. Becoming a single mother has been challenging but it made me apart of one of the most strongest communities. The support other mothers have given me has aided in my efforts to keep going. They have an understanding that can't be explained in words and want me to win as much as they want it for themselves. This journey has not been easy but it has most definitely been worth it thus far. I have given my children something that I didn't know they needed, an example of self love and compassion. I've shown them that there is going to be times that you don't pass a test or meet a deadline but not matter what you learn, adjust and keep going.

If I were trying to convince a peer to go to college I would ask them "If it were free would you go?" Many believe that college isn't worth the debt and can't justify the amount of money it would take to pursue a degree. Unfortunately, this is a question I continuously ask myself. Is this going to be worth it in the end? My answer to that is, it already has been. I found that attending college isn't just about going to class, get good grades and then receive a degree. I have found so many answers to many questions that I struggled to find anywhere else. These questions are not only academic questions but very personal ones as well. What is my purpose? Why am I here? Who do I want to be? These type of questions you can't google to find the answers. In my experience I had to collect tools from all the classes I have taken so far. II had to assemble a more equipped skill set to be able to answer them myself. College so far has been challenging but not only because I being pushed to stay focused and disciplined but also to battle an internal debate of "am I worth it?" College is not only an academic journey but if you let it, it can lead you to a better understanding of yourself. As a person of color I believe that many of our situations made us who we are but they have also forced us to survive. College can be a place where we learn how to use or survival skills as a tool to thrive. In doing so we gain a deeper understanding of who we are and appreciate where we have come from in order to thrive where we are going.

High School was a very rocky road for me. I went to about five different schools in and out of state due to not being a traditional student. I helped my mother raise my three siblings and at that age felt that the skills I was receiving in school did not relate to real everyday life. That was until I found myself at Seattle Urban Academy. Seattle urban Academy changed how I saw school. I was met with teachers who were genuinely interested in my success. They restored an eagerness within me to change the narrative of my life. My teachers made me realize that without an education I was setting myself up. I was headed for a life of mundane jobs that I just survived on. They made me feel that my experience in this life mattered, and I could change this world by being an active member within it. I graduated top of my class and would go on to fight for my education. I am now 31 years old and finishing my AA. I have lived through many character building experiences but never allowed even the worst situations stop me from my goal of being a Defense Attorney for children who are incarcerated. While in college I believe that my critical thinking and understanding of the world has made me a better person and more equipped to take on major issues within our society like the Prison Industrial Complex and mass incarceration. I want to be apart of finding a better solution in the prevention of our youth being repeat offenders. I want to put the same hope back into our children that was reignited in me at Seattle Urban Academy.