I was exposed to how mental illnesses can affect you at an entirely too young age, my entire life my mom has battled Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and Anxiety. When I was 6 I saw my mom have a meltdown at my Elementary School in front of my 1st-grade class because she wasn’t allowed to visit me without my Dad present. Understanding Mental Illness was a tough concept to grasp when I was younger, I never understood why It had to affect my Mom to the point where I would go years without seeing her, I would often take it personally because I thought it was my fault what was happening to her, especially because she told me it was my fault. I wasn’t clinically diagnosed with anything until last year, I told my doctor about the feelings I was constantly having. The sense of dread, feeling like everything around me was happening fast and I was slowing down, either sweating or having chills, stuttering when I talked and minuscule things causing me to have these emotional attacks where I wouldn’t be able to breathe comfortably or blackout. She then told me what I had was severe Anxiety. My whole world felt like it shattered into pieces, I immediately thought what had happened to my Mom was also going to happen to me, and I refused to receive help whether it was medication or therapy. I didn’t want it because I didn’t want to be like my Mom, my doctor and I then had a serious conversation. She explained to me that the reason my Mom turned out as she did was that she refused to get help and that I was on track toward doing the same thing she did. Refusing to acknowledge that I need help, and accepting that there is a problem in my life and not being ashamed of it, she then explained to me Anxiety is common, it affects everyone just at different levels. After 15 minutes of conversing and convincing I was prescribed a medication called ‘Zoloft’, it was ironically the same medication my Mom was first prescribed but never took. My Mental Illness has opened my eyes to so many things I was never aware of, I never thought I would be able to get to a point where I could openly admit it, and not be ashamed. I cope with my Mental Illness through various things but advocating has been the biggest thing, my Instagram followers will constantly view me posting quotes, infographics, motivation, and kind reminders. I love doing this because it releases endorphins throughout my body. I love letting people know that they are loved and appreciated. It's an important reminder everyone should get often whether you’re struggling or not. I also love Cheerleading, I’ve been cheering since I was in 8th Grade, and it’s been one of those things that have impacted my life positively through all the negative things I could be feeling or going through, It’s also one of those things that just click in my brain without requiring much thought which is another reason why I love it endlessly. In the future I will remain an advocate for Mental Health Awareness as it is something that has will continue to play a huge part in the remainder of my life, I will have a career that helps people in some way, my major right now is Political Science and when I graduate I will use my degree to take me places where people need an advocate, someone to let them know they’re heard and appreciated.

Insecurities are brought on when we recognize differences between ourselves and others, either on our own or through someone else pointing them out. Often once insecurity is pointed out by someone other than ourselves it becomes magnified in our mind and manifests into something deeper than it is. My entire life I've grown up being told I'm too emotional, or too sensitive grew up thinking that it was a negative trait. I believed my emotions were weaknesses I have a vivid memory of when I was in 5th grade and we watched a clip from Forrest Gump by Robert Zemeckis, Forrest was getting bullied for wearing his leg braces that I cried, it wasn't till 5 years later in 10th grade we watched the entire movie in my History class I cried twice as much. This full-circle revelation caused me to reconsider my feelings on my emotions and why it's valid for me to often feel more than the average person. I have been in various positions of power throughout High School and now College, I owe this to my hyper-sensitivity. It causes me to be more aware of situations I put myself and others in and consider their feelings as I am often deeply affected by people's moods and emotions, it's intuitive, it's my very own 'superpower'. Being hyper-sensitive is no longer something I view as negative. I love and think deeply about my own life and others, the purity of it makes me who I am. I'm honestly not sure what I will do with my degree but I am sure that it will be used to positively impact others like in tasks requiring vigilance, accuracy, speed, and the detection of minor differences. This self-discovery journey is one I never thought I'd be able to make a positive outcome out of, doing so has supported me and whenever needed will assist others. Almost everyone, especially throughout adolescence, is fighting a battle, with my impact I hope they will come to realize there is no battle that you should have to fight alone. I am eagerly anticipating my journey of making people aware and accepting of their worth, never allowing them to shrink themselves to make others comfortable, emotions are beautiful and should never be viewed as a weakness. It is the essence of who you are it will never be a burden. Tackling my feelings has been something that has helped me heal.