Are you a boy or a girl?
I constantly confuse people. The little kids ask me this question in the gaga ball pit at the summer camp I work at. The older lady at Costco asks me this in line for checkout. I asked myself this question when I was a kid too, but I know the answer is neither.
At school, the teachers try their best to use "they" or "them", and most succeed. They slip up a few times, but honesty I don't care, because I am me and that's what matters. They act like they committed a crime when they slip up, and that is the part that scares me and embarrass me. They stare me down, like I'm going to report them to the school board. They tiptoe around me, and it makes me feel like a beast, the "other".
I understand that it's good that they do this, I just wish there were an option to just put "surprise me" on my pronoun selection. It's hard to explain in writing, and that's really saying (or I guess "writing) something, as writing is my escape, my passion, and my exploration of myself.
And again, I understand that pronouns are important to different people, just not to me.
I'm not good at explaining it. I have tried though. Some people understand it, that I am "me", and that doesn't really relate to pronouns. I just use "they" and "them" because that's what we have as a society for the in-between.
I find that they don't really work for me either, and I feel like pronouns are a social construct meant to confine us to one thing. I'm not sure if that makes sense, so I'm going to stop ranting and start talking about how my identity as sort of non-binary sort of agender has inspired me to write, and how challenges that I have sort of mentioned (about gender and social norms) have also impacted my writing.
Most queer people don't have much representation, and the famous ones we have tend to be written by straight women. I find that odd, but that's something for another time.
As a queer person who uses pronouns that society is not used to, I find it hard to find representation in media. Harry Potter is always on the shelf at my little library in the middle of nowhere Wauna, Washington, but Symptoms of Being Human is not there. I had to go all the way to Seattle to find that book.
I might not have said this before, but I am an avid reader, and have always wanted to write my own book(s). That's where my identity as agender/non-binary seeps into my passion for writing. I am not afraid to stand up for others, as is evident in how I go to the Women's March every year, or in how I make and distribute zines on issues like the lack of voice that Queer people have in sports.
Anyways, I started writing characters that never had voices. Queer, POC, Trans, characters who voices where silenced. I wrote a character who was like me, so people could see that it's possible to just be yourself. I want to put books in the little libraries that I grew up in, so the next kid can see it's not weird to be yourself. I write so that people aren't asked if they are a boy or a girl, I write so people can feel seen, I write because I am a writer who loves to write.