At the age of 16, while I was in 11th grade, I gave birth to my son, who is now three. Having a son at 16 is hard enough; balancing my type 1 diabetes, my AP classes, and caring for my son became very time-consuming. However, the worst part for me was the alienation. My identity had now transformed into "teen mom". Doctors and office workers disregarded me and referred to me as Mama. People on the street had started to ask me questions all too personal, about my son's father, about my age, about my intimate life, about my schooling, about my breasts and breastmilk. This isn't an uncommon experience for mothers, especially young ones. But I wasn't a mother, I wasn't a girl, or a woman. I was, and am, a transgender man. I realized I was transgender many years before I had my son, although not fully "out" until around a year before getting pregnant. The entire experience was extremely dissociating. Many of my memories of my son's newborn stage disregard me entirely. I felt as if I was playing a role in a play or theatre production. I was playing the role of "mom". Every appointment during and after my pregnancy had felt like I was relaying the information to someone else, like I was pretending to be myself. My name, both chosen and given at birth, wasn't used anymore. My identity to the world, to my school, to my doctors, had become "Mama". Despite otherwise enjoying my nurses and doctors surrounding me through this part of my life, all of them extremely supportive and understanding, I felt as if I couldn't be open or understood when it came to my transgender identity, especially since at the time, I was too young to transition medically or legally without parental approval, which I did not fully receive. I never felt like I had someone who would understand that I am still trans, and I am still a teenage boy, even though my anatomy, my pregnancy, and presentation all made me seem female. In the people and world around me, the average person views pregnancy as the ultimate experience of womanhood, and so I felt alone. I never felt comfortable enough to be open about who I am. By pursuing a nursing degree, I feel like I can create a world where transgender and LGBT people don't feel excluded. I particularly want to be able to create an environment where the medical issues of transgender people, especially if they choose to become parents, can be understood. I want to become a nurse to support children, support people with medical problems such as myself, and create a healthy, open environment where queer people, parents, and children can all feel understood. There is a lack of research and understanding on LGBT specific health issues, especially for transgender people. The effects of cross-sex hormones on someone's body are not fully understood by most healthcare providers, especially relating to fertility. By having this scholarship, I can finish my studies in nursing, and help be there as a nurse who understands the lives, bodies, and experiences of LGBTQ patients very deeply and personally.

I would like to start by saying I am grateful for the opportunity to apply for this scholarship. I am currently studying my pre-requisites for a registered nursing degree. I have pursued a nursing degree for many personal reasons, including my experience as a teen parent and someone with type 1 diabetes. One of the reasons that I want to become a nurse is also because of my connection with being in the LGBTQ+ community. Although I am young enough that I never experienced or lived through it, I remember hearing about how the AIDS epidemic impacted the LGBTQ community in the 80s. I remember watching documentaries about how the queer community is overlooked and ignored due to prejudices, homophobia, and transphobia. When I watched the documentary Southern Comfort (2001), I heard about Robert Eads, a transgender man who was dying of ovarian cancer due to the healthcare system failing him, overlooking him due to his gender identity. Growing up hearing about these issues, it affected me deeply, especially as someone with a chronic illness and who is a transgender man. At the age of 16, in high school, I gave birth to my son. Both in my own experience and what I have seen and heard from others, transgender parents are ignored, seen as invisible. Despite having caring nurses and doctors, the experience of pregnancy and early parenting was incredibly alienating to me. I never felt fully comfortable in the hospital, especially because of the combination of being a teen parent, a type 1 diabetic, and a transgender man. I never want someone else to experience this alienation again, and by becoming a nurse, I can help other members of the LGBTQ community feel welcomed and understood, instead of alienated and alone. Transgender people are overlooked the most, and are currently the biggest targets for hateful and restrictive laws and (lack of) care. As a gay transgender man, I want my fellow trans siblings in the world to be understood. There is a huge lack of research and common knowledge within the medical realm for transgender bodies, with many people believing that taking cross-sex hormones makes you infertile by default. This leads to a lot of obstetrician, neonatal, and postpartum care being catered toward cishetero couples. This scholarship can help me complete my nursing degree and ensure that, as a nurse, I can give a complete understanding and acceptance to LGBTQ couples, patients, and parents. This scholarship would also make a big difference in my schooling, as I am extremely low-income, earning under $13,000 annually, having to balance my care for my son, my own medical finances, my transition, and my school expenses. With this scholarship, I would be able to afford to finish my schooling quickly, on time, and worry-free. Once again, thank you very much to the Star Farm Group for this opportunity to apply.

I have chosen to pursue nursing to bring health and care to many people. I had been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 9, with nurses and doctors taking care of me around the clock. With all the stress of my diagnosis, I had found that connecting to the nurses around me had cheered me up. I also felt inspired when I heard about my older sister's birth story. She had been in the NICU, born extremely early, at only 25 weeks. Nurses were crucial in both of our lives and our survival. The biggest push for me to pursue nursing was when I had my son at the age of 16. Having nurses by my side made sure there was always someone supporting me, and not feeling judged for my age, or my diabetes, and feeling like I always had someone to help and encourage my son's father and me, really helped me get through this very scary new stage of life. This inspired me to become one myself. Being diabetic has also made pursuing my career and degree more difficult. Not only do I have to worry about the costs of diabetic supplies, which are thousands of dollars per month without insurance, and fighting with insurance when I run out too quickly, but my diabetes takes up time and effort. I have had many times where I have felt sick and exhausted from having low or high blood sugar, and I know I still need to make an effort to get to my classes or complete my homework. I have even been in diabetic ketoacidosis, also known as DKA, and made sure I can complete my work on time, despite being bed-bound from sickness and nausea. I know that if I push through, I will one day never have to worry about my health again, and even more so, I want to ensure that other people with conditions like mine or similar have someone to rely on, reach out to, get mental support, and get top-quality care from. I have a range of planned and desired specialties, as many specialties are close to my heart. One of my planned specialities is endocrinology, specifically to connect and help people and children with diabetes. Having a nurse who understands your condition can support and uplift you, especially in tough times. I also find the pediatric and NICU specialties to be close to my heart, and would love to work in those specialties too. The most important part of becoming a nurse is compassion and connection, supporting those when they need it the most, and that is exactly why I am striving to become one.