When I was sixteen, I faced a difficult season that ultimately changed me as an athlete. I went into tryouts with high expectations, given the previous season I was very successful. I traveled across the country, won tournaments, and created new bonds with people. After tryouts were complete, it all went downhill from there. I got rejected by the previous club I played for, then got promised to be on a different club’s first team, only to get thrown on the lower team. Forcibly, I had to choose between going on and playing on the lower team or completely quitting. Quitting was not an option, so I decided to go on. I accepted it and faced the losses that ultimately ended in victories.
Once the season started, I was miserable. My team struggled all around and I put pressure on myself to pick up the team’s slack. Over time, I started getting frustrated and depressed, pitying myself and lashing out at teammates because I was hurting. When the first tournament came around, I struggled with getting in my head and being hurtful towards my team. After our first game, I realized I was miserable and my teammates would be miserable around me if I didn’t fix this. I decided to change and fix myself, so on my own time, I read sports psychology books and practiced meditation. I practiced a healthy mindset and a substantial way to express or comfort negative emotions and internal and external conflicts. Over time, I improved as an athlete, teammate, and person. I became the team captain and was the leader on and off the court. My teammates looked up to me and would ask for advice as if I were a coach. When the season ended, I was an open and welcoming person and teammate compared to when I started. I was confident, kind, and happy with myself and my team.
In the beginning, the whole experience was deemed negative. Crying as I signed the waiver to the team, dread had set in. I was miserable, so I drug my teammates down with me unintentionally and unfairly. I had lost all confidence and hope in myself, my love for volleyball was down the drain, making it seem like a chore. Until the day I decided to do something about it and change myself. I began to gain my confidence back, removing the headcase I was enveloped in. I hardly ever got upset with myself or my teammates after a mistake. I became the "cheerleader of the team", I felt happy being there and around my teammates. I found the love and enjoyment in my sport again. I left that season as a better teammate, person, leader, and athlete.
I learned never to give up, even when times got tough. The outcome could change than what is anticipated to happen. Even though I initially started with dread and shame, I finished as a new and happier person. An athlete's mental game and bond with coaches and teammates is ultimately more impactful than physical skill. When a dilemma looks bad, it might not be as bad as it seems going into it. There is always room to learn and grow from both positive and negative occurrences in our lives.
As the negatives were presented, I had no idea there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Without that season, I wouldn’t be the same person, athlete, or teammate I am today. I learned the importance of never giving up and that everything that occurs in our lives happens for a reason.