I don't remember the first time the air passed through my fingertips or when I dipped my toes in the cold lakes, I can't even remember when STEM became a core part of who I am, though I can feel it has always been with me. Although I've never been great at the "TEM" part of it all, I found that science is something that has changed me and become not just who I am, but you cannot know me without knowing my admiration for the grounds we take for granted. Even at a young age there was no hope of removing me from the lawn, playing with the beetles and ants; I'd stare into the woods watching the leaves dance in the breeze while the squirrels plant trees and the deer graze the grasses they planted. Growing up in a home with dangers around every corner I never really expected that I would have gone to college and peruse my dreams in conservation work, yet I sit here today in my plush bed, breeze coming through my small window, while the sun shines and I admire how far I have traversed through my struggles as a woman in an "emotional" and male-dominated field. I have sat, and I am tired of sitting. I want to stand up for what I believe in, and that is the support and conservation of the place we call home. Receiving scholarships has been an astronomical stress reliever to my college career as I can focus less on the loans I will have to pay for four years in the future and instead put my attention towards exploring the world and myself. I want to use my future success, and I will succeed, to teach others how important it is to maintain the planet we live on so that we can continue to thrive and survive with not only our friends and family but as well as with the largest whales to the smallest of spiders. There would be no use for us without the survival and maintenance that animals provide for the grass we walk on and take for granted every day. I hope to grow old one day in a little cottage in the woods where I can look outside and see nature thrive like it used to, because animals are slowly dying, including humans, yet we only focus on conflict and monetary values. I want to teach children that they aren't alone when they want to help animals and it's not some silly childhood fantasy that can’t be done. Because without sitting in the breeze, I don't believe the seed of life would have ever entered my body and become a core part of me.

I remember when I was younger, a roof over my head and food in my mouth as I sat in front of the television in the early mornings before I went off to school. Staring endlessly at that screen as I watched PBS teach me about animals, dinosaurs, and other marvelous sciences (at least at that age they were amazing). Now when I look back on those times I realize that deep within my heart I had always been obsessed with the thoughts and ideas of caring for animals. It is still something that is deeply rooted in my soul today and I am convinced without that aspiration I would not be who I am now. My obsession is a common one, and I am aware. However, when I have spoken to others I have never seen the same passion that I share within their eyes. Sure they want to help the environment and want to stop animals from going extinct so their children can see what they have lived their lives with, but they have never wanted to get out into the world and truly fight for these animals right to live with us. That is something that I feel sets me apart from other "obessions", because when it is something that you love and care for, it is never an obsession, it is an admiration, it is the finish line, it is your major goal. In an imaginary world where nobody needed to work, I can still imagine myself going into work everyday, taking care of these creatures with every fiber of my being, coming home exhausted just to do the same work the next day, and the next. While others may share this dream, I feel as though I have the ambitions to work towards it. Of course I have my life planned out, and who knows if that will ever come true, but I have goals that I am working towards. I am working to get my grades up in my environmental classes so I can apply and work for internships that will allow me to continue my dreams. I honestly hate the word obsession, it makes it feel as though it is something that is temporary, some dream that will one day fade away. I do not feel as though this dream of mine will every fade, I feel the opposite in every way. I wake up every single day, and I look forward to the moment in this endless time that I will be able to work and care for the creatures we share this soft fragile Earth with.

During my childhood I honestly did not have much hope of a large academic future, as my family was extremely lower class and on most dates were unable to afford food for us to eat. However, we still did have a television like most families do, no cable, but that is what made me find love and appreciation for animals. Since we only had access to PBS shows, I watched numerous amounts of episodes of both Nature, Nova, and especially the morning shows of Wild Kratts, a children's television show that describes the adventures of two (real) brothers who are zoologists and are determined to protect the wild terrains species. While I already had a love for animals that could not be contained no matter what my family did, this show inspired me in more ways than I can count on my hands and toes combined. I found an admiration for the protection of wildlife along with the determination to protect these species that I see in my day-to-day life. I could never imagine a world where a child such as I was unable to go out and see a creature as simple as a squirrel or white-tailed deer running through their yards. That is what inspired me to run towards an ecology/environmental science degree, because with something that focuses on the education of ecological environments and the protection of places that millions and even billions of mammals, fish, and bugs count on for shelter and protection. With an education from the biology department in ecological sciences I am able to go and do what the child inside me had always wanted, explore all forms of nature from seas to jungles to deserts. STEM is always something that I have loved in school, and I have always been a science kid; investigating dinosaur books in the library, fishing on lakes and finding interest in the rocks and algae that grew in the waters below. STEM is always something that has been close to my heart, especially the science portion. Animals are something that I believe to be the most underrated and important aspects of society because without these beautiful creatures I think most people would not care as much about the environment that we as humans call home Additionally, I can protect animals that I love as their homes have slowly disappeared in front of our very eyes since I was young. It would be an honor to one day protect a species that our own kind has eradicated due to selfishness and greed.

While blunt, I did not think I would ever live this long. I am sitting in my dorm room at my desk, I never thought I would be here. I never thought I would be the first person in my family to be a first-generation student, honestly. My father was never in the picture, I was born and raised by my mother and her abusive ex-husband. No real father in sight, I do not even know the man's name, that is how mysterious he is as a figure. My mother, however, was no better even though she was in my life, she had been more focused on drug abuse than her own child. I grew up having to take weekly trips to our local food bank to be able to eat a proper mean most days, school was the one escape that I had away from my home. I know it is blunt and sad, but pity is not something I seek. I want my story to be told so people can see who I am outside my family. I never want to be compared to them; I never want to be compared to people who had no future outside the bottom of a bottle. I am a proud first-generation student who has been cheered on by my grandmother and grandfather who have supported my journey and aspirations. I would never be able to thank them enough, because no matter what I do I can never repay the debt that they have set for me. Being a first-generation student I have learned more than one thing about life. The most important of them being that without someone to look to, life will always be hard. I went through a pretty rough time for most of my life, not only that but I had to be the black sheep of the family due to my mother's actions. Not that I ever cared too much about what my family thought about me, but my grandmother was always there to have a hand on my shoulder and defend me with everything in her power to do. Without her I do not think I would have ever had the inspiration to complete a undergraduate degree or even go to college at all. If I were still with my low-income, drug abusing mother I think I might have truly ended up in a ditch somewhere down a highway in Montana. I have never and will never being low-income define who I am as a person, because I know deep within, I am a strong individual who is facing fields that she never imagined to be in. Even though I was low-income I have climbed my way to the top and earned great scholarships when I graduated high school and was able to show everyone that although they knew my life was hell, I would rain hell on them instead. I will state it again, I never want to be known for my ethnicity, my income, or who I am to my parents. I will be known as someone who admires the world, her grandparents, those beside her, and wants to save everything, including herself.

During my childhood, I honestly did not have much hope of a large academic future, as my family was extremely lower class and on most dates were unable to afford food for us to eat. However, we still did have a television like all families do, no cable, but that is what made me find love and appreciation for animals. Since we only had access to PBS shows, I watched numerous amounts of episodes of both Nature, Nova, and especially the morning shows of Wild Kratts, a children's television show that describes the adventures of two (real) brothers who are zoologists and are determined to protect the wild terrains species. While I already had a love for animals this show inspired me in more ways than I can count on my hands and toes. I found an admiration for the protection of wildlife along with the determination to protect these species that I see in my day-to-day life. I could never imagine a world where a child such as I was unable to go out and see a creature as simple as a squirrel or white-tailed deer running through their yards. That is what inspired me to run towards an ecology degree, because with something that focuses on the education of ecological environments and the protection of places that millions and even billions of mammals, fish, and bugs count on for shelter and protection. With an education from the biology department in ecological sciences, I can go and do what the child inside me had always wanted, explore all forms of nature from seas to jungles to deserts. I am inspired by those around me who have held my hand and have cheered me on to continue my journey even if it may not make me much money someday. My studies will further allow me to make an impact on natural resource conservation as college will give me the ability to work in the field with people who are knowledgeable on topics and have degrees in the world of conservation. If one day I can convince a few people in my family that global warming is real I would tell them that even the simple things help reduce your carbon footprint. Starting somewhere means you are starting and that is what matters at the end of the day, if it means that you start recycling bottles and cans, or turning off your lights when you might not need them on that is a start to reducing your impact on the globe's pollution. Without simple steps, you could never take steps that further let you onto the track.

I always viewed STEM-related fields like chemistry and biology as something necessary to the world of education. Maybe it is because I find love and admiration for the environment around us and have a deep appreciation for the planet that always seems to give but never receive from us, humans. Science education is not only important for the youth to learn but for people my age as well, those who may be in college and who are specifically focused on their fields instead of allowing their perspective of the world to open to a larger degree, bringing in new perspectives and beliefs that may help them as well. Science education did not only benefit me by allowing me to gain a well-versed brain filled to the brim with information on how the world functions through reactions and reagents but also allowed me to find a love for what is around me. I feel that when most people go outside, they will never take time actually to sit down and enjoy the greener side of life. In a car-centric country and city focused not often do we take the opportunity to simply sit down in the grass, underneath a tree, and look into the sky. These things are so normal to us, of course, we all know what the sky is, what the soil is, and even what a tree is, but we never take the time to look deeper into these simple concepts. STEM education for all allows people to truly sit down and enjoy those quieter moments that we take for granted. Maybe it is just me, but I love sitting down and enjoying the trees; I think about how they are composed of leaves that use the sunlight to give themselves strength just like we do. I think about how their roots are so deeply connected that forests can span for miles just like how we are connected as humans even if our roots are separated. From nature, we can learn how to appreciate even the smallest of the world's creations like bugs, I do not enjoy bugs, but through my knowledge of sciences, I have come to have a deep appreciation for the smallest organisms that help this earth grow. Without science education for children, I would have never found the love for animals that I have now channels like the PBS network broadened my view and allowed me to enter a world that I now live in. Education in STEM fields is not just important but, it is required for everyone to sit down, smile, and enjoy even the air that blows through our fingertips because, without that moment of clarity, you would never realize that air carries knowledge beyond our understanding.

There was a long period in my life during the COVID-19 era when I was suffering through something I had never before experienced. Living with depression has been an up and downhill battle that I never assumed would be so difficult but as I have continued to live my life with this mental health condition I have learned to cope with the many different ways that it had effected my relationships. When I think back to when my mental health issues began I look back to fifth grade of elementary school. I had become softer spoken and had begun to seclude myself more often from people. Since that point it time it has only gotten worse. COVID was my toughest year, at that time in my life I had moved away from my mother permanently as she had been abusing drugs for a long period of time and I moved in with my grandmother and grandfather. I holed myself up in my room and bed for ages until I had to pee and even then I could barely get myself to move. During that time as well I had a boyfriend, not a good one but I had one and honestly although he was not a great person it gave me something to live for and look forward to. Without that dark period in my life I am not too sure I would still be here today. Since that point I have become medicated and have had my receptors leveled out thankfully, but what does that have to do with how I am now. My mental health heavily affected my relationships as now I have come to learn that they take so much effort and time no matter if it is friends, family, or significant others, they all require so much energy and love that sometimes I cannot afford them. But, thankfully the people in my life are so understanding and genuinely kind individuals who take the time to understand me and my aspirations. For me, I have always found inspiration and hope even within the darkest moments of my life. Putting it bluntly, I have been through hell and back dealing with both physical and mental traumas, however none of that has ever prevented me from being able to achieve what I aspire to do. A pity party is not something I seek, but I want those who do not know me to look at me and know me for my achievements and strong abilities rather than depression and traumatic moments in history. Instead, I want to be known as someone who advocated for the end to animal cruelty and the usage of all parts instead. I want to be known for my advocation of the protection of endangered animals, plants, and environments that are slipping through our fingers at each breath we take. To me the safety and security of the beautiful creatures that inhabit this planet is the most important task that I may do with my life, and if it means that I am required to dedicate days, months, and years to this never-ending project than that is something I am willing to put my own life on the frontline for. I had always had a deep seeded love for even the smallest creatures around me, from large mammals to small rodents to even smaller insects. I have found love for not only their lives but my own as well. These creatures have shown me that if they can survive fires, earthquakes, and numerous types of destruction within their lives that I can survive what is thrown at my feet and step over it with confidence and pride within my chest. I have always aspired to dedicate my life and soul to the protection of the planet, and if it means one step at a time, I will walk ten thousand miles.

During my childhood, I honestly did not have much hope of a large academic future, as my family was extremely lower class and on most dates could not afford food for us to eat. However, we still did have a television like all families do, no cable, but that made me find love and appreciation for animals. Since we only had access to PBS shows, I watched numerous amounts of episodes of both Nature, Nova, and especially the morning shows of Wild Kratts, a children's television show that describes the adventures of two (real) brothers who are zoologists and are determined to protect the wild terrains species. While I already had a love for animals this show inspired me in more ways than I can count on my hands and toes. I found an admiration for the protection of wildlife along with the determination to protect these species that I see in my day-to-day life. I could never imagine a world where a child such as I was unable to go out and see a creature as simple as a squirrel or white-tailed deer running through their yards. That is what inspired me to run towards an ecology degree, because with something that focuses on the education of ecological environments and the protection of places that millions and even billions of mammals, fish, and bugs count on for shelter and protection. With an education from the biology departments in ecological sciences, I can go and do what the child inside me had always wanted, explore all forms of nature from seas to jungles to deserts. Additionally, I can protect animals that I love as their homes have slowly disappeared in front of our very eyes since I was young. It would be an honor to one day protect a species that our kind has eradicated due to selfishness and greed. For me, I have always found inspiration and hope even within the darkest moments of my life. Putting it bluntly, I have been through hell and back dealing with both physical and mental traumas, however, none of that has ever prevented me from being able to achieve what I aspire to do. A pity party is not something I seek, but I want those who do not know me to look at me and know me for my achievements and strong abilities rather than depression and traumatic moments in history. Instead, I want to be known as someone who advocated for the end to animal cruelty and the usage of all parts instead. To me, the safety and security of the beautiful creatures that inhabit this planet is the most important task that I may do with my life, and if it means that I am required to dedicate days, months, and years to this never-ending project then that is something I am willing to put my own life on the frontline for. I had always had a deep-seated love for even the smallest creatures around me, from large mammals to small rodents to even smaller insects. I have found love for not only their lives but my own as well. These creatures have shown me that if they can survive fires, earthquakes, and numerous types of destruction within their lives I can survive what is thrown at my feet and step over it with confidence and pride within my chest. I have always aspired to dedicate my life and soul to the protection of the planet, and if it means one step at a time, I will walk ten thousand miles.

October twenty-third of 2021, that was when I attempted to take my own life for the first time. Thankfully it would be the only time that I would ever attempt to take my own life, but I had been at a terrible place in my life. It was during COVID-19 when everyone was locked away in their homes with no ability to speak with family and friends. All I had was an online boyfriend who was not the greatest person, and treated me like I was constantly on the back burner. I remember the feeling of sitting there on my plush comforter, surrounded by walls that had saved me from a bad childhood. I remember staring at the pills in my hand as I cried my eyes out for hours. I remember sending a voice memo to my boyfriend at the time saying I was sorry. Thankfully I was able to put the medication down and go to sleep. When I woke up the next morning I had no reaction from my ex boyfriend, he seemed to not care at all. I think that was my first wake up call to noticing that I needed to change my life for the better. Sadly I did not break up with that ex until almost two years later (bad mistake on my part), but I had become a lot more confident after that moment. I slowly began to rebuild my life and started to cherish all the small yet fun events that would happen in my life. I gained new friends and people that seemed to sympathize with what I had gone through. It wouldn't be until 2023 when I decided to seek a therapist for the first time and then eventually be diagnosed with moderate depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. It also would be that May of 2023 when I would be put on medication for the first time. I had always been terrified to ask for help out of fear of rejection, so finally seeking help was a large step for me, and being able to speak with a therapist and get put on medication that finally helped me regulate my moods was amazing. My goals started to change; I finally found a huge passion in a childhood ambition that I didn't think would come true. I began to try again in school and my grades started to go from C's to B+'s and A's. I finally found a reason to live thanks to friends and family. It also helped me find a new ambition for writing that became an outlet of mine whenever I had felt dejected or unable to properly express how I was feeling in the moment. Words were my new pencil. My mental health journey has been something that has taken place since I was young. Growing up in a house where it was never safe, and drug addicts were always coming in and out made you wary and scared. So finally when I landed myself in a stable home and began to grow as a person over a five year period it was amazing to look back and see how much I had changed. I can look back on myself from my freshman year of high school and see how dejected and emotionless I seemed. Now I can see myself in the front facing camera of my phone that has been with me since this journey began and see a new light in my eyes that wasn't there before. I am aware this is not as important, but I was accepted to a top college in Minnesota and I plan on majoring in Ecology to get a bachelors degree so I am able to help the ecosystem. I have finally found a reason to live, I have a boyfriend now who treats me like I'm a princess funnily enough, and friends who care for me deeply. My grandma has become such inspiration for me and I don't thank her enough. Never did I think I would make it this far.. I really never thought I would, yet being able to see myself standing on the stage in a few days when I graduate from high school is makes me cry.

Oceanography has been something that has inspired me since I was young. I have adored all the different marine life that lives in our planet and knowing that so much of what covers 70% of our planet we call home is unexplored is so fascinating! Yet we might be unable to explore more of our ocean due to continual destruction by the fishing industries, global pollution, climate change, and overall the amount of plastic that is discarded into the waters. I have never been a person that has been able to visit the ocean but I have always found a large fascination for it, and knowing that when I do eventually visit the ocean all of these animals that I have admired from afar might not be there any longer saddens me on a degree that I am unable to express. For a long time I have debating on either majoring in Marine Biology or Ecology, and I feel as though I can do more with an ecology degree to help these animals who are simply attempting to live in peace in a beautiful ecosystem. With my ecology degree I have been passionate about finding ways for humans and these creatures to live peacefully in harmony and I believe that with the help of others along with additional help from scholarships like this that admire those students who want to continuously give back to the planet that we call home I can make these dreams of mine happen. I want to protect the kelp forests with all those small fish and seals that choose to live there, yet due to over-harvesting and warming waters these beautiful forests are dying. With my ecology degree I can assist in managing these systems and find ways for fishermen (and women) to properly take from these ecosystems without ruining the environment that so many animals call home. I desire to help the coral reefs that are slowly dying, yet because of climate changes and human pollution they are dying away and ruining beautiful ecosystems that millions of species call their home. When I get my ecology degree I am determined to find ways to assist in cooling the waters or finding ways to carefully remove human pollution from the waters near these ecosystems. It would be an honor to one day work for the Coral Reef Alliance who has assisted in protecting and informing citizens on coral reefs and how important they are to oceanic ecosystems. With the assistance of other scholarships and people who are also just as inspired as I am about protecting the animals that we share this wonderful planet with I feel as though I will one day be able to be as accomplished as some renown ecologists such as Anna Botsford Comstock who was a respected entomologist, or Jane Goodall who helped forward information with primates. These women are so inspirational as a female who is from just a small town in Minnesota. It is a dream that one day maybe I will be as informational and inspirational as these women.