When my sister became really ill, she stayed at the hospital for months. I became exhausted. I was working a full time job and simultaneously being a full time student. I slept at the hospital, went to school, work, and back at the hospital just to do it all over again for months. I worried if I didn't work enough we wouldn't have a place to sleep once she came back home. I worried about maintaining good grades. Who will accept a low GPA in Medical School? But I also worried if I was being there for my sister. Was I spending enough time with her? My depression and anxiety got the best of me, by the time I realized it I was 80 lbs with bald spots all over my head. How do you remain so resilient during moments like these when the only thing they do is trigger more of your PTSD from childhood traumas? I started to learn more about myself. My traumas, or how I like to call them, my demons. They are these pieces of me that changed me, but who was i truly before the pain? That's who we are by heart. I studied myself, my patterns, my traumas, my relationships, everything and anything that involved myself and removed the pieces in me that i believed did not belong to me, they did not define me. And finally, I found peace. I've realized that it's okay to not be okay. That it is completely fine to not know the answer. That there is nothing wrong with being sad, it only means you have sympathy or empathy. There will be plenty of life situations that will challenge you in many ways, but it is up to us to stand strong and respond with high emotional intelligence, not only to better handle the situation but to be kinder to ourselves. I'll admit, that there was plenty of activities that I attempted to give myself comfort and overcome the feeling of depression. The ones that helped me was painting, specially finger painting. Reading self help books, or books that were relatable to my childhood traumas, whether they were fiction or based on a real story, they provided comfort and hope. Working out helped my self esteem and mental strength by developing discipline. Now that I finally get the chance to look back while going through depression, there was days i would go in bed without showering or eating, i know, gross, right? Most of the time I did not know what day it was. But i am proud of myself. For my disciple, for my good work ethic, for my care to my sister, for my strength in will to get better, but above all for my capability to love my self again and allowing myself to live life one more time. I will repay those in the medical field in honor of my sister. For all the time, the research, love and dedication they brought and showed her. I will love my patients as I've seen the pain it causes from first hand. My plan is to grow in the medical field to the most of my ability.