1) I have the new invisible Tesla, no I will no share it, but it does mean I deserve this scholarship 2) I would really enjoy digging out a basement underneath my parent's house so I can continue living there rent free. Preferably without them knowing, which I will ensure. They will never know I am home since I do in fact have an invisible Tesla. 3) I had to fight Godzilla recently (yes that was me, you're welcome) and that was kinda easy. Afterwards I decided to go to my favorite ice cream shop, who ran out of snow cones. So I got into my invisible Tesla and drove to Antarctica and got fresh ice for them.

My best friend, who I have known for eleven years, recently told me that I was "too kind". I asked her to elaborate, and she responded by mentioning that I would hold open the door for people for hours at a time. I laughed it off a bit, and then though to myself later that day wondering if being "too kind" was a bad thing. Many would initially would pass that off as an exaggerated problem, and continue with their day. In reality, being "too kind" is a problem. Being "too kind" means that you sacrifice your own needs before the needs of others. Coming to terms with this was difficult, although it's something to value as well. Obviously by being "too kind" you also stand as someone who people enjoy being around and coming to for advice. It's valuable to know that you are "too kind" because it forces one to set limits on your kindness. And admittedly I have a difficult time doing such. So by being forced to, I have to recognize in personal and workplace relationships where to set "kindness limits" -- limits on how much I would be willing to actually stick my neck out for another person. By doing so, my relationships have since improved, and created an environment where my friends and coworkers agreed to do the same.

My mental health has been such a struggle that I have only began to overcome in less than a year. Originally I wished to go into a career that was more oriented on working in an isolated environment. As I worked on myself and my mental state though, I have come to discover that I thrive and outshine in collaborative work environments. Since coming to that discovery as well, I have become more open with my feelings with my friends, strengthening our bond and opening a whole new line of communication. I used to be someone who would passively allow my friends to tread over my feelings, and completely disregard my needs and wants. Doing so would chip away at my mental stability more and more, until I would eventually shut myself away from friends and family. I would then rebuild until I was able to rejoin, and allow the cycle to continue over and over. It was exhausting to go through. Entering therapy though forced me to realize though, that I was deserving to speak my voice with these situations, and that I deserved to receive what I only wanted but needed. I might not where I wish I were, but I'm happy that my mental health controls less of who I am. Within these past nine months of therapy, I have become a new person who's able to take a stand for themselves. There are days where I revert back into a worsened state, but those days help me help me move forward, and every day cannot be a step forward.

As someone who attends Seattle Pacific University (SPU), I mentally prepare myself everyday for discrimination as it is a heavily Christian school. And given SPU's hiring practices and human sexuality statement, I was ready for any hate speech to be thrown my way. Luckily though, that's not the case most of the time. I surrounded myself with like minded individuals immediately, including those apart of the LGBTQ+ community. That does not entirely mean that I do not get harassed, whether it be students telling me I will go to hell for being non-binary, or professors constantly misgendering me, even when being corrected several times, it can get exhausting. But I still stand here at this university, looking to make a change in these problems. I want to be an example that incoming students can look up to, no matter the harassment that I have to face. The core problem here though is SPU's board of trustees, and myself, many staff and students, and alumni criticize their ugly stance on LGBTQ+ policies. They choose to keep harmful and hateful human sexuality statement from 2005, and endured a lawsuit because they had refused to hire a nursing professor on the grounds that he is a gay man. Going to school knowing I am directly giving money to these hateful people is exhausting, but I still choose to because once again: I am willing to endure it if it makes other's after me feel safe. Although post-SPU I want to potentially work in online media or as a radio host, and continue to advocate for LGBTQ+ youth rights as I go along. The fight will never stop, and institutions such as SPU act as breeding grounds of hatred. I want to work for a LGBTQ+ owned company as well, as I know they will be much more fair in terms of pay. Being LGBTQ+ has defined many moments in my life, and is a core value of who I am. That's why I will keep on fighting for those who might be in the same boat as I, as long as I live.

Through the pandemic ups and downs, there was one really big good thing that I figured out about myself: I am non-binary. As with many LGBTQ+ persons who found themselves through this pandemic, I did too. Through this discovery it lead to more and more of them, like my true wants in life. Before the pandemic I was considering a career in Computer Science, but I wasn’t truly passionate about it, but I was the type to think “Hey! That’s some good money right there, why not?” But the more I reevaluated myself through the pandemic, more I realized that I just didn’t want to go into computer science anymore, in fact, I didn’t really want to go to college anymore! But last minute I applied to Seattle Pacific University, and I had to make two decisions right there: do I apply as the real me, and what do I major in? I looked at their options of majors, and I saw a simple Communications one. It just felt right to put that down really. I mean, I am one who really enjoys talking. I also though that if I do get accepted, that Seattle can be a place where I turn over a new leaf, a place where I can comfortably go by Oz. So I applied as non-binary, with my preferred name. All thanks to this crazy pandemic, I found a new opportunity where I can be myself, not confined by those around me or what my family may think. And I think that’s quite nice.

Through my eighteen years of life, something always felt off, just like any others can say. It wasn’t because I was short or because I was interested in nerdy games. I wouldn’t find out what was wrong until 2020, when I was seventeen. Back in elementary school, I quickly found out that I had attraction to both boys and girls. And that felt normal to me, that was okay. But finding that out didn’t make the feeling that I didn’t belong go away. Years and years would pass and I wouldn’t know it had to do with my gender identity. The hardest thing to accept was that I truly am non-binary. I had non-binary friends, I didn’t want them to think I was faking it, maybe I was just faking this feeling for years on end. But eventually I came out to my friend Kdin, and he told me “Yeah, I thought so.” It was one of the first times I truly loved myself. And I mean truly loved every part of myself now that I was confident in who I am. And then when I chose my name, and then when I came out to more friends, and when I applied to Seattle Pacific University under my preferred name. Although, I admittedly still don’t fully understand my gender identity. For now I just identify as non-binary l, but what if I’m genderfluid, or agender. But for now I am just choosing to not truly focus on that part, similarly to back in elementary school when I just casually decided that I liked both boys and girls. Maybe the focusing part is the problem, and I have to just roll with it.